


Someone Had To Say It...

by fabricdragon



Series: A Twisted Skein [2]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Adrenaline, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Asphyxiation, Autoerotic Asphyxiation, BDSM, Bad BDSM Etiquette, Bad Parenting, Canon-Typical Violence, Car Accidents, Dom Loki, Dom/sub, Drunk Driving, Dubious Consent, Dubious Ethics, Dubious Morality, Explicit Sexual Content, Fannish Knitting, Good BDSM Etiquette, Humor, Knifeplay, Knitting, Loki Discovers the Internet, M/M, Manipulation, Not Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie) Compliant, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Abuse, Past Drug Use, Past Torture, Post-Avengers (2012), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rope Bondage, Sexual Humor, Sub Tony Stark, Tony Being Tony, Tony Has Issues, since i was asked
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-16
Updated: 2015-12-19
Packaged: 2018-04-21 03:51:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 103
Words: 102,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4813913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fabricdragon/pseuds/fabricdragon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki and Iron Man have had a number of fights, what happens when someone finally points out the obvious?</p><p>A Canon divergent AU that assumes Loki escaped  fairly soon after  being taken to Asgard at the end of Avengers 2012.<br/>This  is a psychologically driven work, with a lot of references to previous trauma in  most of the characters.  References to bad decisions, and current  traumatic issues, as well as unsafe practices, will be common.  While it  is  humorous in part; I am working with some pretty dark subjects  on occasion. There is also a lot of knitting. Reader discretion is advised.<br/>This story arc explores how sexuality affects  behavior and public perception, and how the dynamics would change if (AU canon divergence) .  Yes its got humor, yes it has knitting,  heck yes it has sex, no its not just fluff.  </p><p>Seriously, some of the behavior and actions taken by these characters is not recommended.  Please read chapter notes  for details.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prelude In the Park

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Bluemary](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bluemary/gifts).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because , really, someone had to ...

Tony Stark wondered what Loki was up to this time. According to the alarms, he had been seen in the same park the Avengers fought him in about 3 months ago, not far from Stark Industries HQ. Bruce wasn’t in town, but most of the others were. Tony smiled inside the helmet. Iron Man would be there before any of the rest of them, and he still owed Loki for the last time.

  
He boosted speed. The last time he made it from civilian clothes in his office to suited up and in the park in two minutes; the new modifications might mean he made it even faster. His left arm still hurt and if he hadn’t managed to invent a brand new means of speeding up healing (which was about to make Stark Industries a fortune in sports medicine) he would still be in a cast. He figured the suit’s reinforcing should do. Anyway it was Loki who had broken his arm and damaged his last suit, and Tony intended to even the score.

  
Natasha was trying to coordinate the team’s arrival, as usual; also as usual, Tony was ignoring her.  
“Give us ten minutes, “her working voice, devoid of any expression except annoyance, insisted in his ear.  
“You owe me fifteen from last time… I’ll take it out of that.” Tony smiled and cut the link because he could already see the park, and Loki was making no effort to hide at all.

  
He was sitting on top of something that Tony vaguely remembered as having been a park sculpture, not a twisted pile of metal. The park was not on fire, at least, unlike last time.  
“Hey, Rudolph, we have got to stop meeting like this, people will talk…” Tony landed in a clear area daring Loki to take the first shot. He did, with a green dart of energy aimed at the suit’s main targeting system.

  
Tony fired a small burst at Loki while scanning around him; the damn bastard had a habit of setting up illusions to take the obvious shots while sneaking in behind him. Sure enough Loki appeared, too close, on his left side. He spun and brought up all weapons.  
“Destruction of a public art project?” smirked Tony as green energy and rockets lit up the park. “I kind of thought vandalism was beneath your supervillain status.”

  
One of his rockets made it through the green shields and knocked Loki backwards into a tree, where, instead of breaking the tree, he vanished into green smoke. Tony had a sudden very, very bad feeling. He turned back to the wreckage and metal and Loki was right there behind him, and as he moved he turned right into a blade that was too tough and too sharp. He’d been fighting the illusion… the real Loki had actually been on the wrecked sculpture and simply come up behind him as he was distracted.

  
“Sonofabitch!” Tony snarled as a piece of his suit peeled away.  
“Now Stark, “Loki had that psychotic smile that showed he was enjoying every minute of this, “Can’t you come up with anything more creative than that?” and he leaned into the blade. A disturbingly important looking piece of red and gold metal separated from the rest of the suit.

The suits alarms were all screaming in his ear. Tony tried to reactivate the comm link, but the suit had diverted all power to system integrity. Loki had managed to damage the main stabilizers, and he didn’t dare try to fly without them.

  
“If I get out of this, Natasha, I swear …” he was into his third promise to reform as he finally managed to clear some distance between himself and Loki.

  
Loki was laughing; head back, eyes blazing green,”Your arrogance will be your downfall, Stark! Did you really think I would use the same tactics every time?”  
Get a room  
Tony fired an pulsed energy wave that caught Loki, the real Loki this time, by surprise.  
“You apparently thought I would, Princess…”

Loki snarled, and was up and closing with that impossible speed. Now it was suit strength versus Immortal, and his suit was already damaged. Loki grabbed him by the right arm and twisted and the metal began to groan under the strength of his fingers. Tony managed to get the comm link open, “Hey guys? Can I owe you back a few minutes on that ten?”  
Get a room  
Loki ripped his face plate off, and the comm link went with it. “I still owe you for that gag, Stark, maybe I can start by taking out your tongue…”

“GET A ROOM!”

  
Cutting through the adrenaline rush, Tony suddenly realized that those were words… that someone was…shouting? At them. Judging from Loki’s expression he was hearing the same thing. Carefully keeping Loki in his peripheral vision, as much as he could with what he realized was blood dripping down his face, not sweat, he looked for the source of the voice. Fortunately for him, Loki was doing the same.

“GET A GOD DAMN FUCKING ROOM!”

  
The woman yelling at them was standing near some park benches not far away from the fight. She had an insane expression and an even more insane knit hat on. She was covered in leaves and debris and had probably gone for cover in the shrubs when Loki showed up. Now she was standing in plain sight screaming at them.

“It took them 2 months to let us back in our apartments, and they raised the rent… and they weren’t going to re plant the trees until next damn year….” She ranted at them while Loki still had his suit by one arm… judging from his stunned expression he didn’t know how to react to this either.  
“Stark industries is RIGHT OVER THERE… why don’t you have your BDSM foreplay games there like you did last year, or just GET A DAMN ROOM already!” For emphasis she threw something at them which hit with less force than a snowball and rolled lazily at their feet.  
“Get a damn room and go fuck already!”

  
Tony, for once, had absolutely nothing he could think to say. He stood there and watched her stalk off to the apartment building just across the street without being able to think of a single way to respond. It wasn’t until she disappeared into the entry that he realized that Loki was gone, and the Avengers were entering the park.

  
They found him, still standing there, with a perplexed expression and a ball of yarn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its a Jayne hat. (Firefly)


	2. Thoughts and Evasions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Tony Stark obstructs an investigation.

The terribly dangerous ball of yarn had been taken away by S.H.I.E.L.D and analyzed, quite possibly down to its component particles. It was finally, after two days, determined to be a perfectly normal terrestrial brand sold at thousands of knitting shops worldwide. Since Tony hadn’t mentioned where it had come from, they assumed Loki had dropped it just to confuse them.

Tony had managed to smuggle a scrap of the yarn out and Pepper had identified it in moments. She said it was for sale in a yarn shop less than a block from the park. She had said it was a “nice little yarn shop” and indicated that she stopped by there every now and then. He had a horrible feeling that this meant the woman from the park had seen, or even met, Pepper. The idea made him retreat to his penthouse in a cold sweat.

He spent the rest of the afternoon trying to catch up on everything he had missed while obstructing the investigation. The idea that his fight with Loki had been stopped cold by a crazed knitter yelling “get a room!” was absolutely not going to end up in any reports if he could help it. He kept getting distracted by trying to figure out how to avoid ever encountering that woman again. It was a huge city with an impossible population, but he knew from long experience that you would keep running into the same people despite that.

By the second glass of scotch he was contemplating relocating Stark Industries HQ.

By the third he was wondering if it wouldn’t be simpler to buy the apartment complex and pay everyone to move to another state.

He was on his fourth glass of scotch when he gave up on work for the night. He changed out of his work clothes, which mostly consisted of dropping his pants over a chair and grabbing a robe, and went out on the penthouse balcony to think. Pepper called it sulking when he did that, but sometimes the clear air and cold helped. He was leaning on the balcony railing, not really looking at anything, when a silky voice behind him said “It is a splendid view…”

Tony spun with his eyes wide and his damaged heart trying to race. He was in boxer shorts and a robe, without even so much as his cell phone, and Loki was right there. His body reacted faster than his stunned thinking could stop. He threw himself backward, except there was nothing behind him but a railing and the stars… and he was falling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case anyone is interested, i had a ball of Noro Kureyon on my desk as i wrote this.... for you non knitters its a brand of yarn from Japan available in better yarn shops... including in a small yarn shop near a park in New York City.


	3. Free Fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We're just talking, right?

Tony was falling, and the stars and the city lights were indistinguishable. His adrenaline was singing in his veins but there was nowhere to run and nothing to fight. His mind raced with equations: maximum velocity of free fall, how many seconds to ground, and the solution to that problem he had been working on for the past month….

 He started seeing spots in front of his eyes and he hoped he would pass out before he hit anything.

…but the spots were green, and had their own light and he suddenly realized he was slowing….

It took much longer to float back to penthouse level than it had taken to fall.

 

 When he reached the level of his balcony he saw Loki leaning on the rail where he had been. Loki was wearing his most amused expression and his shoulders were shaking…

“What are you laughing about, Rudolph?!” Tony was trying to get his breathing under control.

“Stark,” Loki said with no attempt to hide the laughter at all, “I appreciate you trying to make me feel welcome but I think throwing yourself out of the window was a bit much...”

“It’s a balcony, not a window,” he snapped, and then wondered for what had to be the ten to the hundredth time whether his mouth was going to get him killed, and if he actually could think before speaking....

...especially since he was hanging by green mist five feet away from the balcony rail… on the wrong side.

 “Perhaps you should put on your armor before you jump over the railing like that?” Loki was smirking at him...

“I didn’t jump, Reindeer Games…”

“Oh yes you did… backwards… I saw you.” Loki started shaking with laughter and Tony’s heart felt like stopping as the lights holding him up shivered and shook.

 

Loki eventually stopped laughing and wiped at his eyes.  He looked up with his crazy smile at Tony hanging in midair trying desperately not to breathe, or move, or have gravity notice him. Tony tried to think about something reasonable to say that would convince this lunatic to bring him back to within grab range of the rail, what came out was:  
“You spilled my fucking scotch, asshole.”  
Loki’s grin became almost impossibly wide, and Tony started mentally writing an apology note to Pepper where he admitted that she was entirely right, he did have a death wish, and he would have mended his ways if only he had lived a few minutes longer… then Loki did something impossibly elegant with those long fingers, and Tony found himself drifting back onto the balcony.

 

Tony stood very, very still, with the adrenaline making everything seem sharper than life. Loki was leaning against the railing, looking slim and elegant and oh so very dangerous. Loki held out a hand sparkling with green fire and Tony tensed expecting almost anything…

Loki held out a glass of amber liquid.

…except that, Tony hadn’t expected that.

 

He felt distinctly unreal as he walked over and grabbed the scotch out of Loki’s hand.

 

“Last drink before you fry me, Princess? Unexpectedly decent of you…” Tony took a gulp and concentrated on not letting his hand shake.

Loki cocked his head to one side, in a quizzical fashion. Tony felt his legs start to go and sat down on one of the chairs. He tried to convince himself that it was entirely the adrenaline finally wearing off.

 

“Do you honestly believe I am here to kill you?” Loki sounded incredulous.

“You do have a track record there, green eyes...” Tony recognized the post adrenaline shakes and concentrated on his breathing. He also resolved to thank Bruce for trying to teach him meditation techniques.

“You are supposed to be intelligent…” Loki sounded disdainful and Tony replied without thinking, again, “I’m a fucking genius, Rudolph, and don’t you forget it!”

“Then had it occurred to you that I could have gutted you where you stood? Or just not caught you...”

“It did seem a bit odd, yeah.” Tony was beginning to shiver, a combination of post adrenaline shakes and the cold night air.

“I actually wanted to talk, which is why I waited until you were outside.” Loki looked at him a bit oddly… “Are you well?”

“It’s a bit cold to be sitting around in my underwear, not that you probably notice...” Tony was trying to keep the anger and bravado up, but it was tough to do with his teeth chattering.

 

Loki blinked and said something quietly under his breath. Then: “I do keep forgetting that. You are usually in the suit, or inside, I suppose…” Loki looked dubiously toward the apartment. “Can we speak inside? Or will your automaton interrupt?”

 

Tony suddenly felt his mind race. Inside meant help, meant weapons, meant… clothes at least.

“I could ask him not to…”

Loki smiled as if he could read his thoughts. “IF you were to call for help, what would you say? That I showed up to talk about a strange woman in the park and you jumped?”

Shit, shit, shit, shit. “I don’t need any help, thanks… we’re just talking, right?”

“Right.” Loki’s smile became angelically insincere.

He walked into the apartment with Loki much too close behind him.

“Jarvis, no calls…”

“Are you certain, sir?” Jarvis’ faintly worried voice came from nowhere in particular.

“As certain as scotch and soda,” he said using the code phrase that told Jarvis to record everything and scream on all channels if he appeared to be injured too badly.

 

Tony turned back to find Loki looking around the apartment. He looked like an ad for some men’s cologne that cost a fortune and came in a green bottle. Tony shook his head to clear THAT crazy image and said, ”Ok, you didn’t come here to kill me; you came here to talk… what the HELL do we have to talk about?”

 

Loki smiled and held up what appeared to be the exact ball of yarn they had been pelted with three days ago. This was, of course, impossible. The last remaining bit of that was a piece of string ten feet away next to his computer.

 

“Us…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tony does a lot of mental apologizing and resolving to do better next time. He would get along with people better if he ever actually said it out loud, or followed through.


	4. A Tangled Skein

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ....and what does Jarvis consider injured "too badly"?

“What ‘us’, Sunshine?!” Stark stared at Loki in shock. “There is no ‘us’’ except in the sense of me being glorious me over here and you being admittedly impressive you over there, what ‘us’?”  
Loki smiled lazily over at him, tossing the ball of yarn from one hand to the other. Tony found his eyes warily following the motion as though he expected the yarn to turn into something, or maybe start yelling. Damn he hadn’t had nearly enough scotch for this.

  
“I have a problem…” Loki began.  
“We know! We know! Serious daddy issues and somehow no one’s snagged you for a modeling contract yet…” Tony snarled, “You don’t have a problem, you ARE a problem!” Tony belatedly realized he might have had too MUCH scotch for this.

  
Loki’s expression darkened and he closed the distance between them in a blink. “Obviously I was mistaken, I guess I did come here to kill you…” Tony found himself lifted casually off his feet by one hand. He suddenly remembered that those fingers had dented Iron Man armor and cursed himself for being a drunken idiot. He wondered if Jarvis would be able to fire the defensive weapons while it was still at “expensive hospital stay” level damage.

  
“Hey there, Esmerelda, whoa…. I thought… you said… you wanted… to talk… talk… right?” Tony wheezed. Black spots started dancing in front of his eyes. Loki’s eyes were a dangerous shade of emerald and Tony felt himself getting very light headed. Then he hit the floor.

  
Loki apparently had very expensive boots. Tony could tell because he was lying there trying to breath and they were not more than a few inches from his nose. He suddenly realized that being in casual kick range was a very bad thing, and he tried to scramble to his feet.  
Tried…  
Because he really wasn’t supposed to be putting any weight on that left arm just yet, and it let him know. Emphatically.

  
He hissed and fell back down. Loki, in a surprisingly conversational tone asked “Arm still not healed yet?”  
“Apparently not.”  
“I thought not, that’s why I went for your right arm in the park,” Loki said as he picked Tony up off the floor and dropped him rather unceremoniously onto the sofa.

  
Loki draped himself over the matching chair and looked annoyed at Tony.

  
Tony felt his brain entirely fail at putting two perfectly coherent sentences together in any way that made sense. “What?”

  
Loki enunciated as though Tony was stupid, or drunk: “That’s why I went for your right arm in the park, Stark. You weren’t using your left arm properly. I did rather think I broke it last time.”  
Loki had gone back to moodily tossing the ball of yarn in the air, and occasionally rolling it on his leg. Tony wished he wasn’t quite so distracted by that somehow.

  
“You… went after my right arm… because you thought my left arm was still broken? What, did you want a matched set?!”  
Loki laughed and looked delighted. “Wonderful idea!”  
Uh oh, thought Tony now I’ve given the psychopath ideas….  
“What a delightful excuse, I shall pretend I thought of it.”

Tony thought his brain must have stripped a gear, or... no that was too primitive. He found himself wondering how to describe the sensation of his mind coming up against this much insanity. He decided the word “Loki” was simply going to have to do as a short hand.

“Ok… I give up. I have absolutely no idea what the hell you’re talking about.”

“Do you find me attractive, Stark?”  
Just when you thought you hit the bottom level of crazy the Marianas Trench opened up in this conversation.

Tony was incredibly frustrated, more than slightly drunk, and Loki was sitting in his apartment asking if he found him attractive? Fine, why the hell not.  
“Yeah, sure. You’re insanely attractive. You’re one too many bottles of scotch and a fast car and Decker Canyon Road all in one leather clad package, why?”

Loki sighed, “She was right…” and tossed the ball of yarn onto the sofa next to him.  
Tony stared at it like he hoped it would blow up. That would make sense at least. He picked up the yarn sort of hesitantly. It felt like the same stuff. “What, Ranting Hat Lady?” he asked incredulously.

Loki smiled, but he looked tired. “You know I could have killed you.”  
“Then why the hell didn’t you?!” Tony cursed the words almost as soon as they were out of his mouth.

“Because it wouldn’t be any fun,” Loki said. “I probably shouldn’t have even shown up this soon after I broke your arm last time, but I was so damned bored.”

Loki flashed that psychotic killer smile of his. “So I show up, and we spar, and you call me names I have to look up later, and I never quite get to paying you back what I owe you before the others show up, and then I leave… until next time.”

  
“It’s gotten to be a bad habit, Stark.”

Tony had the serious problem that he was a genius, and every last damned thing Loki was saying fit with his experiences since the invasion. “There are worse habits…” he said slowly.

 

“True, but this one… this one is becoming obvious. I dislike a weakness becoming obvious enough that passing strangers can notice it.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Decker Canyon Road is one of the most beautiful, and deadly, roads near Malibu  
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/California_State_Route_23


	5. A Very Dangerous Road

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rescheduled appointments...

Tony shuddered slightly with the reminder of how their last fight was interrupted. He drained the glass of scotch. Tony muttered something darkly about yarn shops. “Yeah, that’s gotta stop.”

 “What’s Decker Canyon Road?” Loki suddenly asked.

 

Tony looked over and he knew, knew with absolute and certain clarity, that if he was running on nothing but original equipment his heart would have stopped. Loki hadn’t moved from the chair but he was idly playing with that damned knife of his. He looked up with that cocked head quizzical look that had knocked Tony’s legs out from under him last time.

 

Loki met his eyes and began to smile. Then he began to laugh again, but it didn’t sound happy. “Apparently I am not as observant as I thought…” Loki held up the knife and moved it around in those impossibly graceful fingers.

 

Tony followed the motion for a few heart beats and suddenly shut his mouth. His mouth had gone very dry and he downed his scotch in two gulps. He wasn’t entirely sure if he had had too much, or not enough, alcohol but he couldn’t have less; so more it was.

 

“Decker Canyon Road?” Stark managed to say, “It’s a road, near Malibu… One of the most beautiful drives I know, but go too fast or let your attention wander while you’re driving and it’ll kill you.” Tony sipped at the scotch trying to steady his nerves as he thought about the last time he had driven on that road. “Not always though, sometimes it’ll just play with you….” His eyes refused to focus and he remembered all too clearly waking up in the hospital.

 

He was draining the glass of scotch a bit shakily when his mind belatedly started counting again.

“How?” He stared at the full glass of scotch in his hand.

“How what?” Loki looked a bit annoyed.

Tony spoke pretty clearly, even when he was drunk, “This glass, it’s full… again….”

“Magic, obviously. I made you a glass of scotch. It will remain a full glass of scotch until I choose otherwise.”

 

Tony felt like his world was spiraling down into a million green dots in front of his eyes. “Oh that’s not fair… that’s just not fair…” In Tony’s mind the full throated growl of an engine was drowning out the rest of the world, and the faint trace of salt in the air smelled like welcome home…

 

He vaguely remembered voices.

 

He came to with a none too gentle hand on his throat. Even without opening his eyes he could see murder and knives. He wanted to puke but he was fairly certain moving would kill him. He caught the faintest smell of leather and the bastard started forcing him to sit up. The world bucked and heaved and did its best to throw him off: he rolled sideways on the bed and had the worst case of dry heaves he’d ever had.

He looked down at a very expensive leather boot. His brain spun crazily for a moment before it found traction.

 

“Hi, Natasha, couldn’t you have killed me quickly? We are team mates… you owe me that much…”

 

“Why?” Natasha had a low pitched voice. Tony decided he loved that about her. “You seem to be torturing yourself, Tony.“ She paused. “Lousy job of it but it seems to be your hobby.”

“You are extremely late, even for you.” Her voice was accusing, which Tony interpreted after years of practice as ‘worried’.

 

Tony shook his head to try to clear it and rather instantly regretted it. “Late?”

“We were going to go over the last fight again, just the team… remember?”

“Sure.” He blinked at her a few times and whined. Jarvis obligingly cut the light levels in half. “On Wednesday…”

“It’s Thursday.” He could hear her frown. He didn’t know how you could hear a frown but he could hear it.

“Can’t be…”

 

Jarvis helpfully chimed in, “It is 9 am Thursday, sir. Miss Romanoff has been trying to reach you since 11 am Wednesday.” There was a faintly accusing tone in his voice as he continued, “I informed her you were indisposed, sir, but you did give every member of the team a pass code to allow entrance in emergencies…”

 

“What emergency?!” Tony had sat up and spoken a bit too loudly. He fell back into what he realized was his bed with a groan.

“I will reassure Bruce that you are merely hung over. He was becoming worried.”

“Oh… that emergency…”

Tony groped over and got the spare sunglasses off his bedside table. He sat up very slowly and carefully. “Right, he was going to be back in town for the team chat…”

 

Natasha made a faint noise in the back of her throat that managed to convey both disgust in his current condition, and the belief that he deserved it.

“You’re an expressive girl, Nate, anyone ever tell you that?”

He staggered off to the bathroom but not before catching her dumbfounded expression at that comment.

“Absolutely mad…” she said as she stalked off.

 

When he came out she was gone. “Jarvis?” Tony asked…

Jarvis answered, “Miss Romanoff has rescheduled the meeting for tomorrow morning. She also told me to pass along a message that you are ‘cutting into her personal time’.”

Tony shuddered. He headed for the kitchen.

“Yeah, well I am NEVER letting myself get that drunk again, I had the damn weirdest nightmare.”

Jarvis said, “Yes sir, about that…” Tony’s blood ran absolutely cold.

“What the ever living FUCK is that?!” he said pointing at the ball of yarn on the sofa.

“One hundred percent wool...” Jarvis began obligingly.

Tony growled threateningly and Jarvis smoothly continued, “Your guest assisted in getting you into the bedroom, sir, and expressed a wish to reschedule his meeting with you for tomorrow evening.”

Tony swayed slightly and looked a bit paler.

 

“Right... Friday… One quietly homicidal knife wielding person in the morning… One loudly homicidal knife wielding person in the evening….”

“I don’t think they are very similar, sir” said Jarvis in a reproving voice.

“Yeah, you’re right, Jarvis…” he trailed off with the thought

 

…only one of them really turns me on.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The fight happened on Saturday.  
> Three days later, late on Tuesday night, Tony gets an unexpected visitor.  
> He pretty well wasn't coherent Wednesday, and his next visitor arrives Thursday Morning slightly before 9 am


	6. AC/DC

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which no Kyrtills are harmed..  
> (but we get to hear the recording )

Tony managed to clean up, eat, keep his food down, and otherwise waste time until well after noon.

“Ok Jarvis, do you have the recording?” Tony didn’t really want to watch the recording, but he needed to know just how bad it really was. He was fairly certain that having sex with Loki in one of his cars hadn’t actually happened, but he wasn’t too certain about the rest of it.

“Yes sir, the recording out on the balcony is of lower quality. We really must install more cameras in that area.”

“Did I actually fall...”

“Off the balcony? Yes, sir,” said Jarvis calmly. “You were then returned by some unidentified quantum level force.”

 

Tony started reviewing the recordings. He absolutely, positively did not like how good Loki looked in his apartment. He liked it even less when he listened to Loki explaining that Ranting Hat Lady was right, or about his ‘bad habit’. You know, the bad habit where he showed up and didn’t kill Iron Man because …

…not going there.

“So, Loki walked in, we confessed to some sort of attraction, unspecified. We both admitted that we were pretty damn good looking and intelligent…. Then I passed out because he had given me a never emptying scotch glass?”

“That is a crude summary of the recording to this point, yes.”Tony swore he could hear Jarvis polishing some nonexistent spectacles.

Tony winced and went back to reviewing the recordings.

 

_Jarvis’ voice had politely intruded once Tony hit the floor. “Mr. Stark appears to be in no fit state for guests, Mr. Laufeyson. Shall I show you out?”_

_Loki had stepped toward Tony who was lying in a rather poorly composed heap on the floor._

_Jarvis then activated the full array of internal weapons._

_Loki, unfortunately, hadn’t looked intimidated in the slightest, but curious. “Why now?”_

_"I beg your pardon, Mr .Laufeyson? Did you wish me to call you a cab?”_

_Loki snickered. “A cab…” he moved away from Tony slowly. “No, no, you are a fine servant. I was just wondering why you hadn’t done anything while I throttled him.”_

_“Mr. Stark specified intervention if he was injured too badly, Mr. Laufeyson, and he was not injured too badly.”_

_Loki looked a bit bemused. “Loki, his enemy, lifting him by the throat until he choked isn’t ‘too badly’?” “_

_No, Mr. Laufeyson, it is not.” Jarvis made that throat clearing noise he used to express so much, “However Mr. Stark is now in no condition to entertain…”_

_Loki looked as though he were going to start that convulsive laughter again. “I have apparently been as blind as Hodr!”_

_“Would you prefer to leave by the door or the balcony, Mr. Laufeyson?”_

_“Can you move him, servant? He will be uncomfortable here on the floor, and if I am to pretend to hospitality I should at least offer to assist.”_

_Jarvis was quiet for a few seconds. “Indeed, Mr. Laufeyson, the mechanisms for moving things as fragile as a human body are not on this floor at the moment. If you would be so kind as to assist me in getting him to bed that would be appreciated.”_

_The assorted visible weapons went to stand down mode. Loki picked Tony Stark up as if he were a child’s toy and followed Jarvis’ directions to the bedroom._

_He peeled Tony out of his robe and with casual ease cut off Tony’s socks and shorts with his knife. When Loki went to cut Tony out of his T shirt, however, the large laser swung up into active mode._

_Loki sounded incredulous as he asked Jarvis, “I can strangle him until he passes out. I can remove his brók with a knife…and only when I go to cut his kyrtill is there offense?”_

_“Mr. Stark is quite possessive about his t-shirts, Mr. Laufeyson. I believe he will simply have to sleep in it. However, if you could carry the remains of his other clothing to that basket, it would be greatly appreciated.”_

_Loki had staggered to the laundry basket, laughing. He had been laughing so hard on the way to the balcony that he had stopped to lean on furniture at several points. “Servant?” he called out weakly in between gasping laughs. “I am afraid I shall have to delay my leaving for a few moments.” “_

_If you are unwell, Mr. Laufeyson, we do have a small guest room…” “_

_No, no, just a moment’s forbearance….” “_

_Certainly, Mr. Laufeyson.”_

_Eventually Loki pulled himself together. “Servant, do you have a name?” “_

_Jarvis, Mr. Laufeyson.”_

_“Then, Jarvis, tell your master that you served him well, and are a credit to his house. Also tell him that I shall return to continue our discussion when he is… fit to entertain.” Loki appeared to be overcome with laughter again. “I am available on my… my mother’s day… or just after it...”_

_“I do apologize, but that reference is not in my system. Your ‘mother’s day’?” “_

_Friday” Loki said, still grinning as if he would never stop. “Friday after noon, or later as you count time.”_

_“Certainly, Mr. Laufeyson. I will put it on his calendar.”_

 

Tony had watched this all with increasing horror and disbelief. “Jarvis…”

“Yes, sir?”

“We need to have a little chat about acceptable boundaries…” Tony desperately needed a drink. Tony needed ten drinks.

“Did Loki leave that scotch glass?”

“No, sir.”

“Bastard…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kyrtill is an outer tunic. (ergo his t shirt)  
> Brok is related to breeches (ergo his boxer shorts)  
> Friday does indeed derive from the name Frigga or Freyja (so it is named for his mother)
> 
> and next chapter... we get to see Loki's point of view


	7. Prelude - Loki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki's point of view.  
> This takes place just prior to the events in Chapter One.

Loki was sitting almost motionless in his latest apartment. Except for turning the pages in the book he hadn’t moved at all in hours. Looking up defensive spells and information on the upcoming conflict had begun to wear on him. His thoughts were sliding to the fall, and the void and what had happened….He shuddered and realized that he hadn’t been reading, just staring at the pages. He needed a distraction.

He got up and stretched. Perhaps one of the women? He thought about it and realized he had let himself go too long; his thoughts were sliding away to a very dark place and none of the women he had available were going to be enough distraction now. He forced himself to think. What was it going to take?

He needed to focus on something else for a while, in order to return to his work able to keep his thoughts from wandering. Without realizing it he had begun to pace. No, none of the women would do. None of the men would do. The women wouldn’t keep his attention enough anymore, because he had let it go for too long, and the men would probably just remind him of … of someone he was very angry at.

He realized he had been pacing again. Counting the steps in this place as he had counted the steps in all the other cells where he could move. At least he could move and it wasn’t the chains and the endless dark…He felt dizzy and the apartment was getting smaller and the dark was…

“NO!”

He staggered and realized he had shouted that. Out loud. No one would hear him, of course; the spells that kept this place hidden also kept any noise from passing out. Not in, mind you; he could hear the cars, and the people. He needed sound around him. Luckily for him the Midgardians, for all their skills, seemed to build the walls of their homes out of paper.

He walked to the bathroom and splashed water on his face, and as he stood up he caught sight of himself in the mirror. He looked away quickly. He needed a distraction. He needed to be angry. He needed his blood to sing in his veins and the fire to take his thoughts away from the dark.

He went over to the most beautiful thing in the room, to him. Once he had learned to use a computer he fell in love. The world’s libraries were his to explore through this beautiful marvel. Loki had always preferred the company of his books to people.

It was remarkably easy to spy on his enemies through the internet. They were reported on extensively. Indeed, according to the latest information Dr. Banner was not in the city; also it was Saturday, very early in the morning. No wonder the noises had fallen off. Undoubtedly this was why it had become too quiet. Midgardians slept in on Saturday if they could. His thoughts turned back to the date. Three months since their last fight. That might be a record.

Loki looked up how long a badly broken arm took to heal. He stared at the answers. He tried a different source and found out adults took even longer than children. He looked up Tony Stark and broken arm… and smiled. He exhaled in relief. That brilliant, wonderful creature had invented something to heal his arm more quickly.

Loki smiled. Stark was always a distraction; even thinking about him was a distraction. He would go back to the park because he knew how quickly Stark could be there. If fortune favored him, he would be able to capture him. He would have his revenge, and something to keep his mind from wandering while he took his time breaking him. If not? Well, at least it would re-focus his thoughts for…hmm.... at least another 2 months. Plenty of time.

It had better be later in the day than this, however. None of the reports mentioned it, but it was evident to Loki from the public appearance videos that Stark was drinking heavily again. He assumed it was over the breakup with his CEO, Ms. Potts. Loki wondered how she had managed to drag herself away from someone that utterly infuriating without killing him. She had walked away.

He found himself wondering if she could teach him how.

 


	8. Saturday in the Park - Loki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Always an art critic....Loki's perspective on the events of Chapter One.

Loki sat in his apartment near the window overlooking the park. It was almost late enough, he thought, for Stark to be easy to rouse, but not yet fully awake. He studied the information he had gained about the suit. If this was correct a strike against the armor at this specific junction should limit Stark’s ability to fly.

He looked back up and scowled out the window. He once again cursed that atrocious thing they called public sculpture; it completely ruined an otherwise reasonable view. Loki’s mood brightened; well, even if he didn’t get a good shot at Stark, he could remove that accursed thing…

He was sitting on top of it, being extremely pleased with himself, when Iron Man came into view. “Hey, Rudolph, we have got to stop meeting like this, people will talk…” His opponent landed in a clear area daring Loki to take the first shot.

Loki obliged him. His first shot was aimed at the suit’s main targeting system. That would make it difficult for him and force him to give more attention to avoiding civilian casualties. Loki wanted him distracted.

Loki had used an illusion for the first strike so often; he expected Iron Man to look for the ‘real’ Loki. So predictable. Loki obliged him with a ‘Loki’ on his injured side. As he expected that got him to spin defensively, protecting his injured arm… and turning his back.

“Destruction of a public art project? I kind of thought vandalism was beneath your supervillain status.”

Loki bit back a retort. Frankly he thought the twisted heap had more artistic merit, and was infinitely more pleasing to look at, but he expected they would remove it.

Loki’s doppelganger kept him busy, while Loki watched him favoring his left arm with a frown. He decided that Stark was probably not following medical orders, the idiot. His arm wasn’t healed and still he raced out to confront an opponent? Loki felt flattered of the attention and insulted that he thought so little of him.

Loki came up quietly behind him as the doppelganger vanished into green mist.

Stark must not be feeling well; he was already reduced to common cursing. Loki leaned into the blade. A delightfully important looking piece of red and gold metal separated from the rest of the suit.

Loki was laughing; His thoughts entirely on the sheer joy of the combat. ”Your arrogance will be your downfall, Stark! Did you really think I would use the same tactics every time?”

_Get a room_

“You apparently thought I would, Princess…” His voice was too shaky; Loki noted even as he was hit by what seemed to be a new energy weapon. He really shouldn’t be here.

Loki closed with him, trying to avoid merely re-injuring the idiot’s left arm. Loki grabbed him by the right arm and twisted. He could hear the metal began to groan.

_Get a room_

Loki ripped the face plate off, making sure he damaged the side piece he had been told was likely critical to his communications.

“I still owe you for that gag, Stark; maybe I can start by taking out your tongue…” An empty threat of course: his wit was the most interesting thing about him.

“GET A ROOM!”

Those were words… that someone was…shouting at them?

Loki froze. Stark froze. Loki slowly processed that someone … was telling them… to … go have sex? That they were behaving sexually in public? That is what that idiom meant… wasn’t it?

“GET A GOD DAMN FUCKING ROOM!”

There was a woman yelling at them. She was standing near some park benches not far away from the fight. She was covered in leaves and debris and standing out in clear sight screaming at them.

She was wearing a very familiar looking hat.

Loki simply couldn’t believe it…

It was Sarah.

 

“It took them 2 months to let us back in our apartments, and they raised the rent… and they weren’t going to re plant the trees until next damn year….”

Ah, yes... she’d talked about the trees… apparently there had been some nice ones before he set them on fire last time….

“Stark industries is RIGHT OVER THERE… why don’t you have your BDSM foreplay games there like you did last year, or just GET A DAMN ROOM already!”

Surely she wasn’t suggesting….

She threw a ball of yarn at them.

“Get a damn room and go fuck already!”

She WAS suggesting?! That he wanted to … That STARK wanted to…? Loki stood blinking as she stalked off to the apartment building.

He suddenly realized he had lost the opportunity to finish this before the Avengers arrived.

Cursing internally, and wondering what on earth had possessed the woman, he cloaked himself and followed after her into the building.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is precisely the same time period (and events) as Chapter one.


	9. Thoughts - Loki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Talking to Sarah after the "battle".

She had collapsed on one of the lobby chairs. Fortunately no one else was in sight. Loki clothed himself in the appearance she knew and came hurrying over.

“Sarah? Sarah, are you all right? What on earth were you DOING?!” _More importantly, what on earth did you mean by any of that_ …..

She grabbed him and started babbling. “I was yelling at them, Ooooh God they’re going to kill me…” she was speaking very fast and shaking. Loki mentally diagnosed post battle shock.

“Come with me, Sarah, let’s get you back to your apartment…” _before anyone notices you._

Loki got her into the elevator and up to their floor. He had to help her get her keys and open the door. She was still shaking and babbling about the park encounter. He had listened absently, but she hadn’t said anything important to him yet.

“You know, I don’t believe I have ever been in your apartment...” It could hardly be any more different than his own. Her apartment was a riot of color: books, videos, yarn, all vied for space and encroached on most surfaces. Oddly, that was the first thing that seemed to get through to her. She stared around at her apartment, then back at him.

“Oh my God my apartment is a mess… I am so sorry; I normally clean up before I have company over…” She looked around a bit dazedly and started trying to put things in order.

“Nonsense. Come here and sit down.” He steered her over to a table and chairs. “Where do you keep your tea?”

She rather shakily gave him directions in her kitchen to find tea, mugs, and various other supplies. In short order they were both sitting down at the table. Loki moved aside what appeared to be a detached sleeve for a sweater, and put his mug down.

“Oh, I was blocking that…” He nodded absently at her while she made noises related to her knitting. He hadn’t thought any women on Midgard still engaged in the old duties of making clothing, but according to Sarah it was not entirely uncommon.

He realized she had said his name, or at least the name she knew him by in this guise.

“I am sorry,” he smiled, in the way he had found got him instant forgiveness from anyone female and most males on this planet, “my mind wandered a bit...” _which was in fact the problem he was trying to solve when she interrupted…_

“I just said thank you for getting me back home, Mr. Goodfellow.”

“Good heavens, call me Eric, ‘Mr. Goodfellow’ is too formal...”

“Well, yes, thank you again, Eric... I don’t know how I can repay you…”

“Well, “he smiled at her, “you could tell me why you were screaming at Loki and Iron Man to ‘get a room!’…”

She looked wide eyed at him. “You heard that?!”

“My apartment does overlook the park. Once all the explosions stopped I looked out and ... well you were ranting at them about getting a room and BDSM.”

After he spent a few minutes calming her back down, he suggested, “Well its simple, Sarah, if anyone asks I was over in your apartment having some tea, and when the explosions happened you and I cowered on the floor like sensible people… No one could possibly prove you were the woman in the park: especially if you just don’t wear the hat for a while.” _And_ , he smiled inwardly, _it gives me an alibi as well._

She was so very grateful that he was helping her like that. Loki/Eric almost felt sorry for her. In any event, he was certain that he was sparing her several days of interrogation by S.H.I.E.L.D. He reinforced the suggestion with a trivial amount of magic. He didn’t want her panicking and accidentally telling the truth.

He gently steered her back to the topic.“But why would you think that?”

“It’s obvious…”

“It is? Um… not to me… Could you explain it?” Obvious… Obvious?! That was not a word he usually wanted associated with his behavior. It was especially not a word he liked in this context.

She spent several minutes going on about ‘Unrequited Sexual Tension’ and a great deal about fan fiction. He could have ignored that but then she started being specific: “…and on top of that Iron Man always shows up first without any back up even though Loki is that dangerous. Loki attacks him by preference, but he never gets seriously hurt…”

“I thought the news said Loki broke his arm rather badly…”

“Oh, yeah, that was the park... the last time… before you moved in.” Loki/ Eric made encouraging noises for her to go on. She went on: about how the serious injuries seemed to be almost accidental; about how they spent more time trading insults and ineffective assaults than seriously going after each other; “…and he never goes after his face or his chest...”

“What... I am sorry, what about his face or chest?” Loki had a horrible sinking feeling. She couldn’t be right, but she certainly sounded right.

“When Loki goes after Thor he goes for his face, or for his guts, or his heart...” Loki stilled his Eric face and hoped she didn’t notice how much he stiffened at the mention of Thor. He forced himself to relax and listen attentively. “Loki never does that with Iron Man; he isn’t seriously trying to kill him.”

Loki swore in his head again. She was right, of course, he wasn’t trying to kill him (yet), but the fact that it was this obvious to her was a very bad thing…

“I get the impression Loki wants to drag him off to a dungeon and do terrible, wonderful things to him…” Loki couldn’t keep the shocked expression off his face completely. How the devil could she know that?!

She caught the look. “Oh dear, Eric, I didn’t mean to shock you….”

He blinked a few times, “No, do go on… It’s just something I wouldn’t have thought to say” _out loud anyway._ “In any event that might reflect Loki’s interests I suppose, but not Stark’s… I mean Iron Man’s…”

“Oh my God, do you actually mean you can’t tell?”

“Tell what?”

“That Tony Stark would let him…”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> http://www.thinkbabynames.com/meaning/1/Eric Eric , like most names, has a meaning.
> 
> Goodfellow is a perfectly reasonable English surname. the fact that its also the name for Robin Goodfellow, aka Puck in Shakespeare's "A Midsummer Nights Dream" is surely just coincidence.... right?


	10. ... and Evasions - Loki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki goes to a Yarn shop.

Loki/Eric stared at her. His mind raced… She had been more observant than he thought possible. She was certainly right as far as HIS interests went... but Stark? Stark his br… Thor’s shield brother? That Stark?

“You, ah... think so?”

“Oh, Eric, you are SO naïve…” Loki would normally be furious at that, but it was exactly the image he had tried to create for this persona.

She rambled on at some length about powerful men being attracted to submission games. He nodded a lot, although he couldn’t picture it himself. She then started talking about Tony Stark in specific.

“He constantly engages in high risk, high adrenaline behavior, which wouldn’t be a big deal but… it’s not exactly a secret that whenever he has a break up he gets downright self-destructive… and most of his public relationships have been with very strong people. Some of them have kind of a quiet reputation….”

“Sarah, perhaps I am a bit naïve...” Loki/Eric coughed slightly, “but what on earth do you mean a ‘quiet reputation’?”

She looked a bit flustered. “Well you see I know people….”

Loki could tell that if he pressed this right now she was going to stop talking entirely. He made a point of looking at his watch. “Did you realize how late it was getting? I don’t know about you, but I really could use something a bit more substantial than tea…”

She ended up taking him to a little place nearby for something called Shawarma. Loki was instantly taken with it. It was one of the first things he had seen that reminded him pleasantly of Asgard. He quickly realized that Sarah assumed he was familiar with it from England.

“Oh, of course… but it’s been simply ages…” He finished eating and they chatted about her favorite topics, which Loki/Eric had long ago found out were television shows with fervent fan followings. He had looked up a few of them online and been rather baffled, although one or two seemed interesting.

When she finally finished her meal, he insisted: “Now you simply must relax and do something pleasant and less stressful…” _so we can get back to important topics_. “Perhaps watching a movie or something?”

“Well, I do need to replace that ball of yarn… I could try to get to the yarn shop before it closes.”

“Splendid! I shall be happy to escort you.” Loki winced internally. Escorting a woman to a yarn shop sounded like one of those punishments you inflicted on someone when you weren’t allowed to flog them. Still, if he was going to find out more information it was a small price to pay. He hoped he wouldn’t be too bored.

Loki was not bored.

Loki found himself surrounded by women of every shape, size, age, and color, most of whom were apparently fascinated by a well-dressed English graduate student. When he managed to recover his wits enough to explain that he was in America on a research grant studying folklore and mythology he expected to lose most of them. Instead, he found himself sitting at a table with the most diverse array of women he had ever met, discussing at some length mythology and the relationship of current hero stories, folklore, and fan fiction to ancient bardic tales. Sarah kept looking amused at him when he caught her eye. Somehow in the middle of all this one of the more attractive ladies started trying to teach him to knit.

Everyone was a bit abashed when the manager had to ask them to complete their purchases so she could close the store. Loki found himself with several phone numbers, emails, and a nearly unanimous plea to come to ‘knit night’ Wednesday at the local bar. He also ended up with three balls of yarn, two pairs of knitting needles, and a list of suggested instructional videos. He had no intention, or time, to follow this up, but he did wonder why ‘learn to knit’ hadn’t been one of the first suggestions in any internet list on how to meet women.

As they were walking back to the apartment building, Sarah looked apologetically at him, “I am sorry. I didn’t get a chance to tell them you were gay…”

“That I am what?” he startled badly.

She looked at his expression… “Was that supposed to be a secret?”

“Sarah, why would you think I was gay…?”

“Well, you’re attractive, single, polite, well dressed, British…”

Loki coughed, “I wasn’t aware that being British…” Sarah interrupted him with some shock, “You mean you AREN’T?”

Loki immediately realized the problem with denying it. “It’s not exactly that simple…” _Norns, what was he going to say…_ “Actually I don’t usually care much about whether someone is a man or a woman, Sarah... I’ve been involved with both. ” _True enough._

“Oh! You’re bi?” she said with a suddenly more understanding look.

Right, that was the term he had read for that. Midgardians had special labels for everyone. “But you see right now there is a very… special… person that I am interested in …” _as you already noticed_ “and I really need to give that a chance.”

Sarah looked properly put off, but not insulted. “Of course, Eric, I hope it works out for you…”

“So do I…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and here we are getting into some more BDSM discussions.   
> IMPORTANT NOTE:  
> Sarah may or may not be right about what she thinks. She is not "Voice of God". she is a character with opinions. some of these are based on good information *in general* but it doesn't mean that she understands the circumstances here.
> 
> Loki... Loki has no, zero, background with "Safe, Sane, and Consensual" which are the watchwords of the BDSM community. please repeat that to yourself for the upcoming few chapters.
> 
> For the record, Tony Stark isn't that great to take advice from either. The guy has issues.
> 
> YES, i am introducing a character that i can honestly state will not give you any bad BDSM advice... mostly because i am running her advice past some real professionals in the scene. You may or may not agree with her advice,but at least it won't hurt you.


	11. Preliminary Research - Loki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki tried to do some research on what he has been told.
> 
> This occurs concurrently with chapter 2 and immediately prior to the penthouse balcony conversation.

Between Loki’s business dealings and Sarah’s schedule, he had barely managed to talk to her after the yarn shop. He did manage to catch up to her after the most boring S.H.I.E.L.D. agents in the nine worlds had asked him some questions. They claimed to be federal agents… he supposed that was a kind of truth. Frankly, he was intensely curious as to why investigating this building was such a low priority; he wondered just how much Stark hadn’t told them.

Sarah turned out to have some… unusual… friends.

According to her, at least one of her knitting circle was a professional dominatrix. Loki had a lot of trouble wrapping his head around that idea. She told him that of the usual crowd on Wednesdays there were a lot of interesting people. ‘Fannish’ she called them. Eric/Loki finally got that this meant ‘people who spend hours plotting interesting things to do to people they had never met, mostly fictional.’ One of whom played some sport called roller derby, one of whom was a professional dominatrix, and at least one she didn’t know exactly what they did for a living but she was fairly certain it was classified.

This ‘knitting’ was beginning to sound like a code word for some kind of would-be supervillain meeting.

Loki kept himself rather amused creating villainous acronyms for ‘K.N.I.T.’

If dominatrix was a profession; and this specific form of sexuality was a subject of study; and this was somehow involved with Sarah’s ability to see right through his interests ; then Loki assumed he had best research a bit of this before he went any further.

He regretted that pretty quickly.

The problem with researching BDSM on the internet was that he was flooded with contradictory information. There seemed to be people threatening violence over some fictional books on the subject… that at least sounded like the kind of ‘Fannish’ discussions Sarah engaged in. Perhaps these books could be of use understanding the Midgardian views on sex and violence? As he read the online arguments and reviews more thoroughly he became increasingly frustrated.

Loki was accustomed to having his way with his sex partners. He was no stranger to those who wished to be forced, or who took pleasure and pain together; in fact, he rather preferred it. He had broken not a few proud enemies and captured thralls to begging for his touch before as well. However, it seemed the Midgardians had rules and labels for THAT too.

What, by Hel, was a ‘safeword’ anyway? What was the point? You had someone at your mercy; you didn’t show them any… unless it suited you.

In any event it didn’t matter. Stark was Thor’s shield brother, therefore Sarah was, must be, mistaken. She obviously saw that Loki wanted to capture him and break him... and based on her Midgardian understanding of the rules, assumed he was consenting to this. This, of course wasn’t true at all, which was probably why Stark had not told anyone about Sarah yelling “get a room” at them, or the BDSM references. It was degrading to a warrior to be considered that way…..

Loki smiled.

Loki smiled viciously.

How better to play with his ‘pet project’ than to torment him with the fact that his subjects, the people who called him (and Thor, and the rest of them) “hero”, thought he would welcome Loki’s attentions. He would go and torment him with it. He didn’t think that, if Stark had hidden this so far, he would risk his reputation to call for help. Loki could even tell the truth about his interests. Tell him that he planned to break him into pieces and make him beg… and that people believed he wanted it.

The humiliation would be… delicious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said... Loki doesn't have any background at all in safe and consensual BDSM.  
> He also has a lot of cultural assumptions.
> 
> If you are interested in finding out more about the BDSM community, may i suggest Fet Life? Its a kink based social network. LIKE ANY social network there is a mix of good and bad advice there.  
> www.fetlife.com
> 
>  
> 
> In the Next Chapter we begin seeing Loki's Point of View on the discussion at the penthouse.


	12. The Balcony Scene- Loki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> End of Chapter 2, Loki's POV

Loki’s ability to cloak himself had always helped him plan mischief. He had been in Stark’s apartment for most of the evening, wondering how to get to him without a call going in automatically to the Avengers. Stark was alternately obsessing over some computer problem, talking to his automaton about repairs to the suit, and apparently brooding. Eventually brooding won, Loki supposed. Stark took his pants off, which based on the automaton’s words appeared to be a signal that he was done work, and he put a robe on and walked outside.

Stark stopped speaking to his servant. His servant stopped speaking to him.

Could it be that the servant couldn’t hear him out here? There were no obvious computers, no random works scattered about, not out here. Perfect! He could casually terrorize him, humiliate him, and then either take him immediately or leave him to the torture of a decision: leave himself vulnerable, or tell his warrior friends.

Loki walked up behind him and dropped the cloak as he spoke: “It is a splendid view…”

Stark spun. Loki could have lived forever in those eyes. To see someone so nakedly afraid, especially someone who never allowed his fear to show… it was more intimate than anything.

Then Stark threw himself backwards and plummeted out of sight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since this is such a very short chapter I am uploading it early.  
> Tomorrow morning's chapter is longer.


	13. Free Fall –Loki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Exactly the same time and events as Chapter 3. Loki's point of view

Loki jumped quickly aside, expecting the Iron Man suit to flatten him, again, as it raced to rescue stark.

No suit….

Loki reached out with his magic and realized with shock that Stark was still falling. Where was his blasted suit? He surely hadn’t damaged the last one, had he?

Loki crafted the magic to slow Stark’s descent and finally had him safely to a stop. He began to bring him back up again. He was mentally cursing the fool as he thought about him throwing himself off a building and nearly killing himself by accident.

By accident! His enemy nearly killed himself by… throwing… himself…out a window…

Loki began laughing as Stark slowly drifted up into view.

“What are you laughing about, Rudolph?!” Stark was evidently unharmed enough to snarl in his usual manner….

“Stark,” Loki said with no attempt to hide the laughter at all, “I appreciate you trying to make me feel welcome but I think throwing yourself out of the window was a bit much...”

“It’s a balcony, not a window”

Loki had to admire the fact that even hanging over an impossible drop, apparently without a suit coming to his rescue this time, he still snarled defiance. Loki felt much better about his decision not to kill him too quickly. He was going to enjoy every minute of this.

“Perhaps you should put on your armor before you jump over the railing like that?” Loki smirked.

“I didn’t jump, Reindeer Games…”

“Oh, yes you did… backwards… I saw you.” Loki started shaking helplessly with laughter. He finally looked up and wiped his eyes. How he had needed this. He couldn’t kill Stark; how could he? No one else could make him laugh like that.

“You spilled my fucking scotch, asshole.”

Loki’s grin became almost impossibly wide. Oh no, he certainly couldn’t kill him. Entertainment like this was beyond price.

Loki brought him back to the supposed safety of the balcony with a casual gesture. Stark stood very, very still. You could still see the fear in his eyes, despite his best efforts to conceal it.

Loki thought a peace offering might be in order; he held out a hand…

Stark tensed, and it took an effort of will not to start laughing again.

Loki held out a glass of scotch. He was surprised, and more than a bit impressed, when Stark walked over and grabbed the drink out of his hand.

“Last drink before you fry me, Princess? Unexpectedly decent of you…” Stark took a gulp without even bothering to check for poison. Loki might never understand these people.

“Do you honestly believe I am here to kill you?” Loki was about to add, and _yet you didn’t check the drink for poison_ , when Stark interrupted: “You do have a track record there, green eyes...”

“You are supposed to be intelligent…” Stark snarled, “I’m a fucking genius, Rudolph, and don’t you forget it!”

“Then had it occurred to you that I could have gutted you where you stood? Or just not caught you...”

“It did seem a bit odd, yeah.” “I actually wanted to talk, which is why I waited until you were outside.” Loki realized Stark was shaking and his teeth were chattering, even sitting in the chair… “Are you well?”

“It’s a bit cold to be sitting around in my underwear, not that you probably notice...” Stark was shivering more badly every second.

Loki blinked. “You are unexpectedly fragile creatures, I do keep forgetting that. You are usually in the suit, or inside, I suppose…” Loki looked dubiously toward the apartment. “Can we speak inside? Or will your automaton interrupt?”

“I could ask him not to…” Loki could see the consideration of rescue as though it were written in one of his books.

Loki smiled and unsheathed his threat: “IF you were to call for help, what would you say? That I showed up to talk about a strange woman in the park and you jumped?”

Stark flinched as though that had been a sharp blade indeed. “I don’t need any help, thanks… we’re just talking, right?”

“Right.” Loki practically purred… _Got you._

Loki made a point of being close enough to unsettle any sensible man… and possibly even Stark… as they entered the penthouse.

“Jarvis, no calls…”

“Are you certain, sir?” The servant’s faintly worried voice came from nowhere in particular.

“As certain as scotch and soda.” Loki assumed this was some code to his servant, but he could be certain of having time to talk now.

Stark stared at him, probably remembering the last time they met in this building. Then he shook his head. ”Ok, you didn’t come here to kill me; you came here to talk… what the HELL do we have to talk about?”

Loki smiled. He thought: _why, how I am going to snare you in words until you are lost, and bring you to heel, of course…_

But what he said was:

“Us.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loki is beginning to admit that killing Tony may not be what he wants at all.  
> This was, of course, true for some time, but... as his mother said, he is very observant about everyone but himself.
> 
> The reason i went over these events from both points of view is that later, when you only get to see one side or the other, i hope this will have set the character well enough for you to "get it".


	14. A Tangled Skein - Loki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A discussion.  
> This covers exactly the same time and circumstances as Chapter 4, but from Loki's point of view.

“What ‘us’, Sunshine?!” Stark stared at Loki in shock. “There is no ‘us’’ except in the sense of me being glorious me over here and you being admittedly impressive you over there, what ‘us’?”

Loki smiled lazily over at him, tossing the ball of yarn he had brought with him from one hand to the other. _You are already admitting I am impressive, Stark? Oh this was almost too easy._ Stark’s eyes were following the yarn with some alarm.

“I have a problem…” Loki began.  
“We know! We know! Serious daddy issues and somehow no one’s snagged you for a modeling contract yet…” Stark snarled, “You don’t have a problem, you ARE a problem!”

Loki had been having such a good time, and then the creature had to bring up his accursed false father. Loki reacted angrily, closing the distance between them in a blink: “Obviously I was mistaken; I guess I did come here to kill you…” He hissed. He wasn’t going to kill him, of course, just teach him a lesson.

Lifting Stark off his feet by his throat, he carefully measured his strength to merely throttle him.

“Hey there, Esmerelda, whoa…. I thought… you said… you wanted… to talk… talk… right?” Stark wheezed as Loki held him suspended in midair. Loki was counting how long it took him to make sounds. He was watching his eyes as they lost focus. He let him go when he expected he wasn’t quite unconscious yet. Then he wondered… _why hadn’t there been any alarms_? No weapons had appeared, and why was there no interference from the servant?

_Had he actually been such a fool as to dismiss the creature?_

Stark tried to scramble to his feet.  
Tried…

He hissed in pain as he put his weight on his left arm, and fell back down.

Loki was annoyed at him; clearly his arm was still injured. _Fool._  
“Arm still not healed yet?”  
“Apparently not.”  
“I thought not, that’s why I went for your right arm in the park,” Loki said as he picked Stark up off the floor and dropped him rather unceremoniously onto the sofa.

Loki draped himself over the matching chair and looked annoyed at Tony.

“What?”

Loki enunciated as though Stark was stupid, or drunk: “That’s why I went for your right arm in the park, Stark. You weren’t using your left arm properly. I did rather think I broke it last time.” He resumed idly tossing the ball of yarn in the air, and occasionally rolling it on his leg.

“You… went after my right arm… because you thought my left arm was still broken? What, did you want a matched set?!”

Loki laughed delightedly: “Wonderful idea! What a delightful excuse, I shall pretend I thought of it.”  
  
“Ok… I give up. I have absolutely no idea what the hell you’re talking about.”

Loki decided that Stark was just drunk enough that he might answer honestly. Why not test Sarah’s ridiculous assertions. “Do you find me attractive, Stark?”  
  
“Yeah, sure. You’re insanely attractive. You’re one too many bottles of scotch and a fast car and Decker Canyon Road all in one leather clad package, why?”

_He just…_

_He said…_

_He didn’t…_  
  
Loki sighed, “She was right…” and tossed the ball of yarn onto the sofa next to him.

Stark stared at it like he hoped it would blow up. He picked up the yarn somewhat hesitantly. “What, Ranting Hat Lady?” He asked incredulously.  
  
Loki smiled tiredly. _She was right, Sarah was right... it wasn’t possible but she was right_. “You know I could have killed you.”  
“Then why the hell didn’t you?!”

 _Good question._  
  
“Because it wouldn’t be any fun,” Loki said telling him at least a partial truth. “I probably shouldn’t have even shown up this soon after I broke your arm last time, but I was so damned bored.” _If bored was the term to describe it._  
  
“So I show up, and we spar, and you call me names I have to look up later, and I never quite get to paying you back what I owe you before the others show up, and then I leave… until next time.

“It’s gotten to be a bad habit, Stark.”

“There are worse habits…” Stark said slowly.

 _Indeed there are, Stark, I plan on introducing you to them_. He thought.  
  
“True,” said Loki,” but this one… this one is becoming obvious. I dislike a weakness becoming obvious enough that passing strangers can notice it.”

 


	15. A Very Dangerous Road – Loki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How is a Loki like a road in Malibu?

Loki was still puzzling over the lack of intervention by the servant, then his thoughts turned to what Stark had said: “You’re insanely attractive. You’re one too many bottles of scotch and a fast car and Decker Canyon Road all in one leather clad package, why?” Loki became lost in thought.

Loki knew that Stark was attracted to, perhaps even addicted to, scotch, but it was destroying him.

Fast car? Yes, Stark was known for his car collection… Loki vaguely recalled reading that he had been in quite a few accidents, and Sarah had mentioned that it was another dangerous habit he had….

But how was a road being compared to him? Loki was puzzled _. I’m like a road?_

“What’s Decker Canyon Road?” Loki asked as he looked over at Stark.

Stark looked up at the question, and Loki watched him change. His eyes become almost black as his pupils dilated. His breath became ragged. He flushed. Loki was utterly entranced… Starks eyes were locked on the blade in his hand in a perfect balance of desire and fear.

Loki had never thought of Stark as such a sensual creature. How had he missed it? He found himself losing all thought of ever seriously damaging him. _I want to watch fear and desire dance in your eyes like that forever_

Loki laughed softly, calling himself all kinds of a fool. “Apparently I am not as observant as I thought…”

Loki held up the knife and drew sigils in the air with it; not magic, just movement. Stark followed the motion and his body swayed. Loki watched as he tried to break free of one addiction with another. The man downed his scotch and fell even further…

“Decker Canyon Road?” Stark’s voice was softer than Loki had ever heard it, and shaking, “It’s a road, near Malibu… One of the most beautiful drives I know, but go too fast or let your attention wander while you’re driving and it’ll kill you.”

Loki had always known he had wit, wasn’t that what had interested him? But he never knew that Stark was a poet…. _He called me one of the most beautiful things he has ever seen, even if I was going to kill him._

“Not always   though, sometimes it’ll just play with you….”

_Oh, I am going to play with you forever…._

Stark broke into Loki’s reverie: “How?” Stark’s voice was hardened. He had lost the sexual throatiness that Loki had been lost in. Loki was extremely annoyed.

“How what?”

“This glass, it’s full… again….”

_What?_

Stark had interrupted this magical moment to talk about his drink? Loki resolved to teach him to concentrate a bit more…. “Magic, obviously. I made you a glass of scotch. It will remain a full glass of scotch until I choose otherwise.”

“Oh that’s not fair… that’s just not fair...” and Loki watched in confusion as Stark slumped to the ground as though he was poisoned.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS is the beginning of Loki calling him a poet.
> 
> Oh, as a side note: when people are at a party or something and get their drinks refilled without paying attention, it can lead to someone who normally doesn't drink a lot, over doing it. Tony was already on his (too many) scotch when Loki gave him an ever full glass of scotch.  
> Frankly its a fortunate thing that the story doesnt end here with Tony being dead of alcohol poisoning. 
> 
> These characters are not role models!


	16. What the servant saw… Loki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This takes place during the time period of Chapter 5, before Tony woke up, and covers the same conversation that Tony listened to the recording of in chapter 6.

Loki was utterly confused. His new-found poet was lying crumpled in a heap and he hadn’t even done anything to him!

The servant’s voice was suddenly speaking out of the air: “Mr. Stark appears to be in no fit state for guests, Mr. Laufeyson. Shall I show you out?”

Loki froze.

_Mr. Laufeyson? The servant had called him Mr. Laufeyson?_

_Wait… the servant was speaking. He was still active?_

An impressive, and truth be told, frightening, array of weapons appeared throughout the room.

Loki might normally have been more concerned, but he was dying of curiosity: “Why now?”

“I beg your pardon, Mr. Laufeyson? Did you wish me to call you a cab?”

“A cab…” How amusingly banal it all seemed: the servant offering to call him a cab as though he was just another houseguest… if you discounted the arsenal aimed at him, he supposed.

He moved away from Stark slowly. “No, no, you are a fine servant. I was just wondering why you hadn’t done anything while I throttled him.”

“Mr. Stark specified intervention if he was injured too badly, Mr. Laufeyson, and he was not injured too badly.”

 _Is that what the code meant_? “I, Loki, his enemy, lifting him by the throat until he choked isn’t ‘too badly’?”

“No, Mr. Laufeyson, it is not.” The servant cleared his throat. Loki’s world shifted a bit as he realized that an automaton had no throat to clear. _What a remarkable creation this was_ …

“However, Mr. Stark is now in no condition to entertain…”

Loki tried to repress laughter. _Oh, I assure you creature, your master is entertaining indeed…_

 _Wait… servants often know their masters’ will better than their masters do._ Loki had used that fact to his advantage before often enough. _Throttling his master wasn’t enough to get him to interfere?_

“I have apparently been as blind as Hodr!”

“Would you prefer to leave by the door or the balcony, Mr. Laufeyson?”

Loki looked at the ungainly heap Stark was in. He was certain that was not going to be good for his injured arm. Loki decided that, since the servant was being polite enough, he would see how far this could go.

“Can you move him, servant? He will be uncomfortable here on the floor, and if I am to pretend to hospitality I should at least offer to assist.”

The servant was quiet for a few seconds. “Indeed, Mr. Laufeyson, the mechanisms for moving things as fragile as a human body are not on this floor at the moment. If you would be so kind as to assist me in getting him to bed that would be appreciated.”

The assorted weapons moved to aim at the floor, or at least not directly at Loki. He picked Stark up and followed the directions to the bedroom.

_It let me… The servant let me do that. I wonder what else I am permitted?_

He peeled Stark out of his robe. Nothing happened.

Well, he certainly wasn’t going to try to get the rest of his clothes off that way; that was a servant’s task. Besides, peeling a drunk out of such tight clothing as this wasn’t easy; servants just had practice...

Loki thought, _I wonder, given its master’s fascination with the blade… I wonder if it will let me...?_

He pulled out his knife, half expecting to be fired on… nothing.

He cut off Stark’s socks… nothing.

He moved up Stark’s body, noting the number of scars. He had a lot of them, Loki realized. He cut off his shorts, exposing him completely. _Not bad,_ Loki thought, although one could never tell when they were soft. _Still, given those expressive eyes, he could be a eunuch and I wouldn’t care_.

Loki was off musing again, so he was taken by surprise when the laser swung up suddenly into a threatening position. Loki froze with his hand on Stark’s T shirt.

 _Oh, this has to be a jest on me_ … “I can strangle him until he passes out; I can remove his brók with a knife; and only when I go to cut his kyrtill is there offense?” _Seriously?_

“Mr. Stark is quite possessive about his t-shirts, Mr. Laufeyson. I believe he will simply have to sleep in it. However, if you could carry the remains of his other clothing to that basket, it would be greatly appreciated.”

 _It was serious!_ The servant must know his master even better than most, as it was Stark’s creation. Loki could scarcely manage to walk, he was laughing so hard.

“Servant?” he called out weakly in between gasping laughs. “I am afraid I shall have to delay my leaving for a few moments.”

“If you are unwell, Mr. Laufeyson, we do have a small guest room…”

“No, no, just a moment’s forbearance….”

“Certainly, Mr. Laufeyson.”

Eventually, Loki pulled himself together. He made a decision: it didn’t matter that this creature was Stark’s creation. It… HE… was every bit the worthy servant. Once he had Stark tamed a bit he would carry off his servant too. Servant raids were an old tradition, after all.

“Servant, do you have a name?”

“Jarvis, Mr. Laufeyson.”

“Then, Jarvis, tell your master that you served him well, and are a credit to his house. Also tell him that I shall return to continue our discussion when he is… fit to entertain.” _‘Fit to entertain’ Norns! That phrase was just so funny…._

Loki thought rapidly about his schedule.

He obviously had reason to doubt Stark’s ‘fitness’ this evening, as it was well into Woden’s day by now… and he suddenly had much more interest in meeting Sarah’s friend. He would simply have to go to this ‘knit night’ now…

Thor’s day was out of the question. He had meetings with his informants and other matters to attend to.

He could come back on Frigga’s day… Loki barely stayed standing. He was going to come back to see this incredibly sexual creature… this man who had unexpectedly ensorcelled him with those naked eyes that showed everything…. on Frigg Day…. Oh, he couldn’t just say that; he would break his ribs laughing.

“I am available on my… my mother’s day… or just after it...”

“I do apologize, but that reference is not in my system. Your ‘mother’s day’?”

“Friday _”… Frigg Day… FUCK day…_ Loki grinned as if he would never stop. “Friday after noon, or later as you count time.”

“Certainly, Mr. Laufeyson. I will put it on his calendar.” __  
  


Loki didn’t have any nightmares that night. He dreamed of fuck day, and knives, and pleading eyes.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last time that you will read a completely "mirrored" chain of events from both sides.
> 
> From now on, you generally get one point of view, or another. (You may get someone looking BACK on an event, if it comes to mind.) 
> 
> The days of the week, in English, are mostly derived from the names of gods.  
> SATurns day is named after a Greco Roman god,  
> SUN day and MOoN day being the sun and the moon, obviously,  
> However TYRs Day (tuesday) , WODEN (ODIN) s day (Wednesday) , THORsday (thursday) , and FRIGGAs day (Friday) are all named directly after Norse gods.
> 
> Friday is indeed derived from Frigga or Freya, and therefore named after his mother, as i said in chapter 6 notes.  
> but i left something out.  
> Frigg is also slang for sex/love. which is why people say "Frigging" instead of "Fucking"
> 
> Yes, Loki realized he was coming back to have his way with Tony on "fuck day" which is why he could barely keep himself from falling over laughing again.  
> ...and we're off.


	17. K.N.I.T.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Loki joins the forces of K.N.I.T against F.R.O.G.... not really, but he does go to knit night.

Sarah had been delighted when Eric/Loki told her he had changed his mind about coming to knit night at the bar.   “Oh how wonderful, but I thought you weren’t going to?”

He decided that a bit of truth was in order. “Well, to be honest, Sarah, it… it is more than slightly about my… boyfriend.” Sarah looked a bit puzzled “You see he seems to be interested in some things…” he let himself trail off and manufactured a sheepish blush.

“Oh!” She nodded firmly, “You want to talk to Carol.”

“Well, there seems to be so much contradictory information… it is horribly confusing to me.” He ducked his head and looked faintly pained. “I… I can usually just look up whatever I need to know, but this time I don’t know what information is accurate.” _There. That was true enough, and completely misleading._

The bar looked like most of the restaurant and bar type places he had been in: a large central area, full of no one of any interest; some quieter seating areas, mostly populated by people being romantic; and some side rooms, where the interesting people were.   This place appeared to have a number of side rooms, small ‘party’ rooms and such, which to Loki implied a more interesting clientele.   The knit night was apparently in one of the side rooms just off the main room.

When Sarah came in with him, he was once again reminded that ‘knitting’ seemed to be a code word for some sort of super villain group. Everyone looked over at them and most conversation stopped. Loki had a moment where he expected to be challenged for a password or something. The password in this case appeared to be Sarah stating happily, “It’s ok, and he’s with me! He’s learning to knit!”

Some of the K.N.I.T. group immediately accepted him. A few, he supposed to be the equivalent of Natasha Romanoff, were clearly some kind of security personnel. They began politely interrogating him about his sincerity: What was he knitting? How far had he gotten with his first project? Why did he want to learn to knit?

Eric/Loki valiantly refrained from beginning an impassioned speech about how he would never betray the forces of K.N.I.T. and would support their endeavors to overthrow the…. _Hmm_ … _what was a good name for the opposition,_ he wondered?

They were a varied group: the usual wide range of skin and hair color you found on Midgard; and, just like in the yarn shop, a wide range of clothing styles. He was surprised to find that he wasn’t the only man present. The other fellow appeared to be teaching two fascinated women some kind of involved knitting technique.

_Seriously, why was this not on every dating advice site?_

An aggressive woman, obviously a warrior of some kind, cut through the crowd in a practiced style heading straight toward him. She was wearing what appeared to be some kind of stylized armor, at least on her elbows and knees. _This must be Carol_. Loki looked her over carefully: She looked aggressive, yes; and dominant, he supposed; but he didn’t see that it would be too difficult to take command of her. He was disappointed; he had expected someone more interesting.

“You must be Carol…” Eric/Loki   said, as she said “You must be Eric.”  
“Yes,“ he said, at the same time she said, “No...”

They both stopped. He cleared his throat a bit. “No?”

“No!” she said looking annoyed. “I’m Misti. Carol is over there with Sarah…”

He looked over to where Sarah was standing, apparently gesturing toward him to a… remarkably boring looking woman. She was wearing an oversized sweater and carrying an oversized bag -well in fairness, many of them were. Her hair was pulled back in a haphazard looking pony tail and was bleached blonde like so many women in the city. She looked… vague.

“That’s… Carol?” He blinked a few times.

“Yeah. Wouldn’t you rather chat with me?” Misti might have been trying to look flirtatious, but instead looked like she was trying to start a fight.

“Of course,” Loki said smoothly, “but I need to talk to Sarah for a few…”

He decided that he’d best leave on a gracious note, and turned that ‘shy smile’ look he had been practicing on her. She melted rather entertainingly. As he left, he heard her say to one of the interrogators, “He’s gotta be gay, no one that good looking is straight…”

Sarah enthusiastically introduced Eric to Carol. Carol shook hands with him politely and without enthusiasm.

“Sarah speaks very highly of you, I was wondering...”

“We can talk upstairs; there’s a smaller area they are not using right now,” said the colorless Carol in an equally colorless voice.

Loki excused himself from Sarah and followed Carol upstairs. He didn’t hold out much hope after meeting this woman, but he reminded himself that he never would have expected such insights from Sarah.

As they walked into a small party room with a single large table in it, Carol said, “The room is on camera monitors, and the bartender and manager are friends of mine.”

“Ah?” Loki put on his very best ‘bashful Eric’ voice: “I do hope you are not expecting me to cause trouble?”

The bland facade dropped with such speed that it took his breath away. Suddenly, her presence filled the room, and Loki took an involuntary step back with the shock.

Her voice was sharp, crisp, and commanding, “Drop the act, and keep your sociopathic paws off my friends.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a lot of contradictory information out there. a LOT. Sadly a lot of the most popular information is wrong.  
> As in "this can get you really badly hurt" wrong.  
> remember, you can enjoy fiction, and enjoy reading about stuff, without thinking the characters are right.
> 
> Misti is in roller derby. 
> 
> Tink and Frog are words used by knitters to describe fixing mistakes. "Tink" is undoing one stitch at a time, its 'knit' backwards... Frog is when you grab the yarn and unravel back by rows because you "rip it" (ribbit)


	18. All unmasked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It takes one to know one.

_How… what was she? How did she know?_    Loki thought quickly, _She had specified ‘camera’ not voice monitors._ He didn’t want to give the bartender any reason to call the Avengers….

He hoped she was bluffing. “I have no idea what you mean…” he tried his very best and most endearing smile.

She looked at him like he was something she’d found on her shoe. “You may have fooled Sarah with that shy guy act, but don’t you even dream of trying it on me. “

Eric’s appearance stayed in place, but Loki sighed and gave up the pose. “All right, conceded…. But I am not after any of your friends that I know of…” Loki wondered if she was a disguised god, or a supervillain, or if knitting just granted some women telepathy.

She looked unconvinced.

“I wanted to talk to you...” He began.

“Supposedly, you are a shy, inexperienced, bi grad student, with a new prospective boyfriend that’s into things your sheltered mind can’t process. Is any of that even close to the truth?” She said archly.

“Well… possibly there are a few words in there…” He smiled sharply. “I did want some advice, actually.”

“This has nothing to do with Sarah?” She asked pointedly. She somehow managed to give the impression that she had a weapon of some kind in hand, even though Loki couldn’t see one.

Loki decided that anyone this sharp might be able to offer some useful information, even for such an unusual problem as he had. That meant it was worth a great deal.

“The only thing it has to do with ANYONE here, including Sarah, is that Sarah seemed very observant, and insightful, and referenced you as an expert.”

“I take my work extremely seriously. I take my advice extremely seriously. YOU are here under false pretenses…”Loki could practically see frost forming in front of her eyes, but there wasn’t any.

“True, but ‘Eric’ attracts less attention.”

“I’ll bet.” She appeared to be thinking. She stood very straight and very still and then abruptly seemed to reach a decision.

“If you actually want me to consult, its office rates: cash. You never lie to me, you never hold anything back I need to know, and if you don’t take my advice you tell me that up front so I know what you’ve gotten into.”

“My, you ask a lot; and what do I get?”

“Expert advice; if I don’t have the answer, I know people who will. You also get complete discretion and privacy, and as long as you are not a threat to them, that includes the knitting group.”

Loki tilted his head thoughtfully. “What if, after discussing the true nature of the problem, you cannot help?”

She nodded at him. “You still get my absolute discretion; We part ways; I pretend I never heard of you.”

Loki smiled; it was entirely unlike Eric’s smile. He held it long enough to be certain that she’d noted it. “I take my word extremely seriously, and I don’t give it often. Deal. You break your side of it and I will get creative.”

“Understood.” She named a rather large sum of money per hour. Loki handed her twice that out of his wallet.

“I don’t have time to get the full case history right now...”

“How about the basics?”

She nodded.

Loki collected his thoughts and decided to be blunt: “The problem, Carol…”

“Mistress Vivienne. Ms. Vivienne in your case, since you are paying for a consultation.”

Loki nodded. “The problem, Ms. Vivienne, is that I am very interested in someone. He has reluctantly expressed some interest in me, but also a great deal of mistrust…”

“I wonder why…” she smirked.

“I have been told that he may have some experience in this type of sexual play.”

She looked puzzled. “So far, I don’t hear a problem.”

“I can guarantee he has some interest in it.”

“Again, I am not hearing a problem.”

“The problem is that I have no idea what rules you people play by. I need to know what they are, even if I plan on breaking them.”

Carol -Ms. Vivienne- stared at him for a long time. Then slowly her eyes widened and she put her hand over her eyes.

“Oh God, please tell me you haven’t started trying to play in my city yet…”

“Well, that depends on how you define play,” Loki said rather uncomfortably.

“When are you seeing him again?”

“Friday… Friday night.”

“Fine, in the interests of not having someone end up seriously hurt or dead, I can rearrange my schedule. Friday morning: nine AM. “ She handed him a card.

Loki nodded. This was obviously the correct person to consult with.

“If I may ask… what gave me away?”

“I saw the look you gave Misti. ‘Shy, little, inexperienced’? Not hardly.”

“Ah.”

“Knives?” she asked thoughtfully, as she headed to the door and the stairs.

Loki startled. He resumed wondering about knitting, telepathy, and supervillains. “Well, yes, actually, but you didn’t get that from my looking at Misti...”

“I got it from watching your hand go to your knife when I pushed…” The bland and colorless persona dropped back over her as she headed down the stairs.

“Besides, it takes one to know one. I’m a sadist, too.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh God, please tell me you haven’t started trying to play in my city yet…  
> Fine, in the interests of not having someone end up seriously hurt or dead...
> 
> A slightly less dramatic version of these lines has been said by several of my friends. Yes i am serious. I have friends who instruct in BDSM. Every couple of months i hear a (all identifies concealed) story about how this or that new person did (insert something really dumb) and (bad thing happened).
> 
> Ms. Vivienne's advice will be sound, based on the information SHE has to work with, because i have my friends checking it for me. Just remember that if Loki doesnt tell the poor woman something important, she ad no way of knowing....


	19. Cut the cards – Loki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki consults with someone who is very observant.

‘Eric Goodfellow’ arrived at his appointment at nine AM sharp. He was met by a receptionist who confirmed his appointment, then escorted him into a rather nice looking meeting room that would have been at home in any upscale lawyers office. The only thing missing was the view: the room had no windows. Loki was extremely perplexed. _What does this have to do with sex?_

He turned as Ms. Vivienne walked in. This was definitely Ms. Vivienne and not Carol, just from the attitude. Loki noted without any surprise that she had changed her appearance, then did a double take. There was no magic there, just artifice and clothing, but she looked completely different.

Her hair was in a stylish and controlled twist on the back of her head; not a hair was out of place. She was wearing quite a lot of makeup, and her eyes looked far larger and more dramatic. Her face seemed sharper and more defined, her cheekbones wider, her nose longer, and her lips entirely different. If Loki hadn’t stumbled over some makeup tutorials in his internet searching, he never would have believed it was possible. He wondered if she was doing something to change the color of her eyes, but he couldn’t detect any magic.

Just the fact that she was wearing a skirt instead of jeans would have changed the impression she made, but the demure ruffle at the hem added something… intriguing. The thing that seemed the most odd to Loki was that she was wearing some kind of peculiar vest over her blouse. A sudden image from some of his online browsing snapped into his head. _A corset; she was wearing a corset_.

“That’s… a different look…” He said

She laughed. “Yes, yes it is, but it’s what I get paid for. However, you are definitely not my usual client.”

She stood next to a chair and looked pointedly at Loki.

He could tell she expected something, but he had no idea what it was.

She frowned. “You are supposed to pull my chair out and then, after I sit down, help push it slightly in… and I shouldn’t have to tell you that.” She pulled the chair out and sat down, sitting stiffly and very upright on the edge of the chair.

“As stated, we didn’t get to the complete briefing, did we?” he asked.

“Before we do that… before we go anywhere,“ she said holding up a hand. “There is something I should have asked before: who’s your target?”

Eric/Loki raised an eyebrow. ”Does that matter?”

“Maybe. It really only matters if he is, or was, a client of mine. Conflict of interest, you see…”

Loki didn’t see, but he supposed he could tell her: “Tony Stark.”

She raised her eyebrows. “My, you don’t go for small game, do you…”

“Nothing less is worth my time.” He smiled sharply, watching her for her reaction.

“I think you may want to start a little smaller… maybe someone without, oh, the entire Avengers as his personal bodyguards?”

“Is he a client?”

She frowned and chewed her lip thoughtfully. “No. We have mutual friends, but it’s a small world.”

“Then our deal?”

“Is a deal, but if you honestly don’t even know the rules, I don’t see how you are going to get anywhere near him.”

“I already have. As I said, I have reason to believe he is interested in me and in this kind of sexual play...”

“Tony? Tony Stark? ‘Interested’ is a word. So is ‘crazy’. Mr. Stark has gotten himself banned from at least two clubs for taking too many risks, and not following the rules. He would be banned from more, but money talks.”

Eric/Loki blinked… a lot. _Stark had been thrown out of these places?_

“You have already met with Mr. Stark?”

Eric/Loki nodded. “It went… well, all things considered. As I said he expressed interest but a great deal of mistrust.”

She considered that for a moment. She said slowly, “You have reason to believe that Tony Stark is interested in you, and in this, but you haven’t actually talked to him about it?”

“We began to, but he passed out. Too much scotch.” Eric/Loki sighed.

“As I told Sarah, I tried to do my own research on this, but there is so much contradictory information. There is very little information on knives at all, and most of that made less sense than the rest.”

She looked pained at him. “You play with sharp edges, and you have no idea how to do it safely?”

“Well it’s perfectly safe, for me… but I don’t know your rules.”

She was looking intently at him. “Do you understand ‘safeword’?  

Eric/Loki winced slightly. “Well… I’ve been reading about them.”

She looked like something was troubling her. “Is the word ‘consensual’ in your vocabulary?”

He looked blankly at her.

She murmured a bit to herself, Loki only caught a few words: “Tony Stark…knives…dangerous…no clue…” her eyes widened, “Didn’t have any idea about the chair…”

Ms. Vivienne made some sort of gesture that Loki vaguely remembered as being religious.

“Loki…” she breathed softly.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The difference in appearance for some of my model friends between "hanging out" and "all made up and putting on their public face" is dramatic to say the least. Loki has not had much experience with it in person. It really would look like shape changing magic.
> 
> GOOD clubs, and good dominatrixes and etc, have rules. Those rules are there for safety reasons. Those rules are important. This is no different than if you were going to a club that did acrobatic work, or taught live steel fencing. There is safety equipment, and it has to be in good working order. everyone needs to know what can go wrong, and what to do.
> 
> Tony Stark apparently broke the rules at more than one place, and has a reputation, at least with Ms. Vivienne for being UNsafe.
> 
> Sadly when you are as rich as Tony is? you can make a lot of problems disappear. that isn't always good for you.


	20. Cards on the table-Loki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Loki explains his understanding of a deal....
> 
> This is a short chapter, so updating twice today.

Loki looked around thoughtfully. “Are there cameras in this room?” he asked quietly.

“Yes, but they’re turned off,” Ms. Vivienne said with a resigned voice, looking down at the table. “There’s just the panic button. I won’t use it.”

Loki dropped the Eric disguise. He walked over and sat down next to her. “Was it that obvious?”

She looked up far enough to see the green and gold sleeve on the table next to her and froze. “So now what?”

“I told you: I take deals very seriously. I don’t give my word often, but I always keep it.” He leaned down to look her in the eyes. “And if you break your bargain… I get creative.”

She laughed, with a bit of a hysterical edge to it. “You and your friends destroyed a good bit of downtown last year.”

 

He forced himself to stay calm and breathe five times before he said anything.

 

“That,” he said tightly, “was not exactly my idea. And they were never, ever, my friends.”

Her gaze recovered a bit of its usual sharpness. “No?”

“No.”

“What about the park outside Sarah’s…?” Her eyes widened. “You LIVE there?!”

Loki grinned. “I live there. Across the hall from Sarah, in fact. I moved in last month. For some reason, they had trouble filling the empty apartments that faced onto the park…”

Loki couldn’t help but enjoy the completely dumbfounded expression on such a normally very controlled woman.

She closed her eyes and pulled herself upright again. Loki admired her discipline.   She could be very valuable, if she would keep her side of the bargain.

She took a deep breath. “Ok,” she said, “let me get this straight: YOU want to get your hooks into Iron Man, and you want ME to help you?”

“No, I want to get my body, and a knife, and possibly a few other things into Tony Stark. The armor doesn’t interest me at all.”

She stared at him for a long few beats. “I need a helluva lot more coffee for this meeting.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok folks... rapids ahead, please fasten your seatbelts and return your trays to their locked and upright positions.
> 
> For the record? Ms. Vivienne is terrified.  
> yes this is her being terrified. 
> 
> IF you actually need/want to get good reliable information about general BDSM, or especially piercing and knife play, from someone who knows what the heck she is doing, please contact GoddessThain on Tumblr or on Fet Life (fetlife dot com). there is only so much i can put into my little story.


	21. The rules – Loki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Safe, Sane, and Consensual... are not really words Loki is familiar with. Ms. Vivienne attempts to enlighten him.
> 
> Ms. Vivienne's advice, in as far as you get it, is sound BASED on what information she is getting about the situation, and based on the fact that she is in a very tricky situation.
> 
> We are now heading into consent issues. please be advised.

Ms. Vivienne - Loki found he simply could not think of her as Carol – recovered amazingly quickly. Loki was relieved that he didn’t have to kill her: it would have cost him that identity and that sanctum.   He also had to admit that he hated wasting such intelligence. So long as she kept her part of the bargain, Loki had a resource worth drawing on.

She apparently considered Loki to be an extreme case of problems she had dealt with before. She spent all morning going over BDSM etiquette. She began with the phrase ‘safe, sane, and consensual’ which she spelled out as clearly as she could, given Loki’s lack of familiarity with any of it. He wasn’t certain he COULD keep to any of these rules, but she seemed determined to make sure he knew them.

The ‘safeword’ concept turned out to be simple enough: people yelled ‘stop’ and ‘no’ and other things like that all the time during sex; it didn’t mean they actually wanted you to stop. Having a word that was decidedly un-sexy to shout that ACTUALLY meant stop was useful. Apparently some people agreed on words that meant ‘I need a break but not a complete stop’ as well.

Loki was quite certain that he wouldn’t bother to use one.   He politely explained to her that Stark was going to be his toy, and he didn’t see why he should give him any choices.

She looked thoughtful. “It probably wouldn’t matter. Tony has a reputation. That’s what got him kicked out of at least one club. Damned fool didn’t use the safe word and almost died.”

“What?” His eyes widened. _That idiot_! “Frost and Fire! Just like the park…” In response to her questioning look Loki explained about how Stark had gone out to battle with his arm still injured.

“Yes, like that. That’s the problem. A safeword is a way for the sub to let the domme know when they have reached their limits. So you don’t break them or hurt them seriously. It only works, however, when the idiot sub will use it.”

She frowned at Loki. “I have seen consensual play end up with someone hurt, before, now consider how fragile any of us are compared to you. Even if you don’t think he should have a ‘choice’ don’t you want to know if you are actually damaging him?”

Loki resolved to TRY a safeword… but they both agreed that it wouldn’t be enough.

“That goes right back to the first word in the rules: Safe.” She said.

Safe. Since Stark was going to be unable to protect himself, and had a poor track record of it anyway, the top -Loki in this case - had to protect him. “You are going to have to be aware of how his breathing is, keep his temperature stable, make sure he isn’t bleeding too badly, and keep track of the sharps…”

She suddenly stopped and looked dismayed at him.

“Do you understand ‘sterile’?” she asked a bit desperately.

Loki looked amused at her. “I don’t think I have to worry about getting him pregnant…”

She groaned.

Loki was then treated to a one hour lecture on human susceptibility to infection. It terrified him. _Hel and Níðhǫggr!_ Apparently Midgard was a cesspit. How on earth did these humans stay alive when the slightest scratch could lead to death!

Loki stilled. Stark… HIS Stark... His pet… His poet with the beautiful eyes… was going out into a dirty city and bleeding? Why, he had cut him without thinking in the park… That damned fool. Loki resolved to have some words with him about the conditions under which he was allowed to break skin from now on.

He paid close attention to her discussions about sterilizing sharps, cleaning wounds, and follow up care. Apparently, once the skin was broken, great care had to be taken for cleanliness and healing. Fortunately Loki, had some knowledge of the healing arts from his studies.

Sane. Loki thought himself perfectly sane, and said so.

“Oh? You always keep your temper?” She smiled at him with an edge to it.

“Well… no...”

“The bottom can lose their temper, especially if they are tied up. That’s kind of the point. They can lose all control and not hurt anyone, but if the top loses control… someone will get hurt.”

She looked at him for a long while.

“There is another issue…” she said, frowning.

“Tony Stark was tortured.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ms. Vivienne has the problem that she is giving advice to... someone who is very powerful and has no need to follow her directions. she is phrasing this as best as she can to try to get this information across to LOKI, remember.  
> In actual fact she would normally shut down anyone with Loki's attitude to consent. full stop, do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars worth of bondage gear.
> 
> but this is going forward no matter what she says, and she KNOWS that.  
> so all she can do is try to get this into Loki's head.


	22. Into the dark -Loki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> PTSD flashbacks

_Tortured?_ Loki suddenly had trouble breathing. The room seemed to be very dark. He couldn’t move somehow. He heard noises, remembered pain, remembered being helpless. He remembered Thanos…

The lights went out and he screamed.

After a minor eternity he heard… singing?

There was a woman’s voice singing. He didn’t know the language but it was soothing and nothing at all like his nightmares. It… it was bright, almost uncomfortably bright. He slowly regained awareness of his surroundings: the singing had stopped; he was lying on his back on a floor; his legs were tangled in a broken chair; and he was staring up at some appallingly bright lights.

“Are you back?” Ms. Vivienne’s voice came from someplace not too far away.

“Yes.” Loki wanted to lash out, to destroy anyone who had seen him like this, but he didn’t have the energy to move yet.

“I’m going to turn the lights down just a little bit, back to normal, ok?”

He didn’t say anything but slowly the lights went back to what he was used to seeing in offices.

She came over with some kind of cloth and started rubbing his wrists and neck gently. She helped him sit up and gave him a cup of ice water. He realized as he focused a bit more that she looked frightened and angry. She hadn’t acted frightened or angry…

“What happened?”

“You had a textbook classic case of PTSD flashback. None of my textbooks prepared me for someone who could leave gouges in the table though.”

“I had what?”

“Post Traumatic…” she trailed off. She took a few deep breaths. “You really have no clue, do you?”

“Evidently not.”

“Your mind reacted to something that was in the past: something that hurt you. It took your body along for the ride.”

Loki could understand that. That explained so much of what had been happening. “So the nightmares?”

“Same thing,” she said. “Your mind tries to work through something and instead of working it through you get… stuck.”

“That makes sense.”

“I didn’t know that the dark was part of that. I turned the lights down after you started having an attack. You… didn’t deal well. So I turned the lights back up and started singing until you stopped wrecking the furniture and refocused.”

“Wrecking the…” Loki sat up. The table looked like it had been attacked by… a giant having a bad day, actually. The chairs on this side of the table were a lost cause. The rug didn’t look that great either.

“Normally, I would have come over and held you. Torture flashbacks rarely involve women holding men… but… putting it bluntly… I’m a lot more fragile than the table. I figured Dominican lullabies were unlikely to cause problems, though. Can you get up yet?”

Loki nodded. With some effort and help he managed to get up.

She got a chair for him and he sat at the ruined table and drank coffee. She looked at the room and said, “Well, that’s gotta be a new one.”

“I’ll pay for it.”

“YES. Yes, you will… now are you up to talking yet?”

“I think so…”

“Do you remember the terms of our agreement? Because one of them was you will NOT withhold any information I need to know. “

Loki nodded a bit sheepishly. “I presume this falls into ‘things you needed to know’?”

If looks could kill Loki would have been incinerated on the spot.

“I need to know that, yes. “ She glared at him. “Now let me spell this out: According to a biography of Tony Stark and Iron Man, Tony Stark was tortured…

“STAY WITH ME.” The words rang with command authority.

Loki flinched… ”Not going anywhere…”

“You did last time.”

“I wouldn’t dream of repeating it.” The woman was intimidating, but oddly comforting. _She reminds me of mother_. He shoved that thought away quickly.

“Good.” She adopted a lecturing tone, “That means he is going to have limits. Things that are likely to cause him extreme panic: ‘triggers’, we call them. One of yours is evidently the dark.”

He shuddered. “It doesn’t always...”

“Sure. Whatever you say.” She looked completely disbelieving. “Someone with phobias and PTSD has areas where they are NOT sane. They can’t be. At least not until they work through it in therapy. If you hit one of those stress points in play? They can break. They can break in ways that will take a very long time to heal.”

Loki looked worried. “So I need to do what?”

“First of all, you need to make sure that you aren’t going to trip over some of your own stress points. What do you think could happen if you had a sub tied up, possibly in an unsafe position, and you had a reaction like you did here?”

Loki looked around at the wreckage. He didn’t like thinking about that.

“Secondly, you need to know what your sub’s triggers and limits are. You don’t want to just be playing and have something like that happen to them, do you?

“’Sane’ also means knowing what you can and cannot handle, what your partner can and cannot handle, and respecting that.” She took a deep breath.

“I don’t think the two of you are going to be safe, Loki. I sure as hell have evidence that you have some areas where you are not ‘sane’ and from what I have heard Tony Stark does, too. I’m not sure consent is even in your vocabulary, although from what you told me you got some pretty clear nonverbal consent… but given your issues… you need to be pretty clear about what you two can handle.”

She looked firmly at him.

“As your expert, in my opinion you shouldn’t be playing with each other without supervision. God only knows who would be able to intervene though if something went wrong…”

Loki suddenly smiled. He sat up straighter. “I do...” he said happily.

“Jarvis.”

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for the record... yes Ms. Vivienne has her English go a bit... odd in some sentences. YOU try dealing with an incredibly powerful super, who has already invaded your city and etc, and who is demonstrating the ability to casually crush oak tables. "When this terrified you are, deal this well you will not".


	23. Study the game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony's POV starting early afternoon on Thursday,  
> ( after Natasha woke him up several chapters ago)

Tony pulled himself together. _Ok, let’s go over the problem._ He forced himself to look objectively at the situation: it was early afternoon on Thursday; he felt like shit; Loki had shown up in his apartment and NOT thrown him through a window or tried to kill him... he never thought that would be a problem, but oh boy was it; he had drunk himself into a near coma; and he had missed the Avengers meeting on Wednesday.

By Friday morning he needed to have some kind of story that would hold together   AND get the team off his ass for missing the meeting. Natasha would be the toughest to fool, but Bruce would be difficult as well. Oh, yeah, and he had to be useful for the meeting part they were supposed to have had already.

By Friday afternoon or evening he had to be prepared for an insanely powerful, completely unpredictable, psychotic god showing up in his apartment. Said god may or may not try to kill him. Tony found himself hoping desperately that Loki did try to kill him; it would be way easier to cope with and probably safer. If he didn’t try to kill him… Tony shuddered… the problem…

He gritted his teeth and made himself look squarely at the problem:

_The problem is he is sexy as fuck, always has been. He’s arrogant, intelligent, good looking… and unfortunately crazy as a bag full of cats._

_And he played my kinks like a fucking violin virtuoso._

“Jarvis….”

“Yes, Sir?”

“Replay the recording. I think I missed something.

“Rev up the research pages, get everything and I mean EVERYTHING we can find on Norse mythology, folklore, customs….

“Start the coffee… _Fuck, I am going to have to do this sober…_

“And get me the speed healer, my arm hurts.

“It’s going to be a long day, and something tells me this is going to be tougher than thermonuclear astrophysics.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Tony is well aware he has a very big problem.  
> he knows what his kinks are, he knows what his weaknesses are, and he knows that Loki is matching that to a T... but of course instead of , you know, getting back up... he's determined to fix this problem all by himself
> 
> sigh


	24. Stack the deck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the Avengers try to stage an intervention, and it does not go as planned

The Avengers would normally have been casually standing around, making small talk, waiting for Tony to breeze in late like he usually did. Except last time he hadn’t shown up at all. That hadn’t been like him. Late? Sure. Missing? No.

Natasha had told everyone that he looked really bad. Apparently he sounded normal enough, but he looked like hell and had apparently been out cold in a drunken stupor the entire day. He had been getting worse since the breakup with Pepper.

They were talking quietly about staging a serious intervention. Bruce pointed out that he needed to go into inpatient rehab, assuming they could get him to even admit he had a problem. Clint had just brought up the biggest problem with that, which was: “How do you keep a billionaire who can build super tech out of household appliances, locked up?”

So none of them were really prepared for what happened when he came in to the room…

Tony walked in wearing the medical device on his arm. Bruce looked much happier. “Tony, you’re going to start wearing that again? I told you it was too early to stop…”

“Ok... Before you all kick my ass, not that I don’t deserve it, let me say something?” Tony didn’t sound cocky, or like he was making a joke. He sounded serious.

“I did something really, really stupid.” Tony took a deep breath, “I have a problem, and I have to fix it.”

The shocked looks were painful, Tony thought, especially since they didn’t look like they disagreed with him.

Steve started talking happily about how glad he was… Tony held up a hand and said, “let me finish. _” Before I lose my nerve, because this is no fun at all…_

“I’m sure Natasha told you the condition I was in. Let me tell you what happened… and what steps I ‘ve taken to be sure it never happens again...”

He took a deep breath. He didn’t have to fake the shakiness. He suddenly found he was sweating, which annoyed him but would probably make this more convincing.

“First of all, yeah Bruce, I should have kept up on the arm. It wasn’t healed and I think I re-injured it in the fight with Loki…” Bruce tried to say something and Tony stopped him. “You know he hurt my right arm a little… not like last time, but … it hurt, my left arm hurt… so I had a few more scotches than usual to try to numb the pain…”

Natasha’s voice smoothly came into his narrative, “That looked like more than just a ‘few extra scotches’, Tony…”

“It was, unfortunately… “Tony looked everywhere but at the team. “Just remember, you can’t kill me until I finish telling you…”

Bruce put his most encouraging voice on, “Tony we’re just glad you ARE talking to us about it...”

Tony growled, “I’d frankly rather not, but…

“Anyway… apparently while I was a bit drunk I fell. On my arm.” _Well, I tried to pick myself up with it, same thing, right?_

There was a collective flinch.

“It hurt, I guess. I don’t have a lot of memory of it. I reviewed the security recordings with Jarvis….” Tony looked apologetically at Bruce. “I was drunk enough to be stupid and not thinking, and in pain, so I apparently took the pain medication the doctor prescribed for my arm.”

Bruce was a doctor; he knew exactly how bad mixing pain medication with alcohol could be. He also knew that what had been prescribed was pretty strong stuff.

There was babble as a lot of the Avengers started talking at once. Thor, of course, didn’t understand the interactions. Several of the group tried to explain it to him.

Tony cut in, “GUYS!!!! Look… the point is I was really out of it, and I did something really stupid…”

“You could have died...” Bruce looked like he was doing those deep breathing exercises again.

“Yeah, I could have. Which is why I’ve locked the pain medication up under Jarvis’s control with orders to not give me any if I have had even one drink.”

Bruce looked relieved. Natasha looked thoughtful and nodded.

Tony continued, “And…and I’m going to try to find someone to talk to about how much I’ve been drinking since Pepper….”

He sagged into a chair. That was the problem with this story. He had to be close enough to the truth to fool some of the best living lie detectors on the planet. He wasn’t faking the shakes, or the disgust, or the fear. He hated saying any of it.

He didn’t want to have to admit that: the drinking part? That was true. He was going to have to do something about it.

Tony didn’t really hear the rest of the babble. Lots of noises about “glad you admit it” and “first step toward recovering” and “I am so glad you are ok”.

Tony wiped his face with both hands in pain and relief. They’d bought it. Now he just had to live with it.

 

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> seriously, though, short of handing him over to S.H.I.E.L.D, which would be a very bad idea... how do you stage an intervention, or anything, for a billionaire (who doesnt trust most people) who can turn the rehab laundry room into a Iron Man Suit? Its.. not as simple as it sounds. Believe me, Pepper tried.  
> He is, as you can see, up to something.
> 
> PS. sorry for the late update, i have a migraine. migraines are evil.


	25. Hidden Ace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Tony's secret plan to handle it all himself is revealed.  
> He really should have asked for back up... oh well.
> 
> Dubious consent warning.

Once Tony had snarled at them to cut it out and get on with the meeting things more or less settled down. They went over everything again, and everyone agreed on the same things they had agreed on before, and disagreed on the same things they had disagreed with before.

He kept losing track of what they were talking about. Tony was edgy and frustrated, wanting to get out of the meeting as fast as possible. Luckily everyone ‘understood’ that. It set his teeth on edge.

Toward the end of the meeting Tony took Thor aside and asked a few very pointed questions about Asgardian law and custom. Thor was surprised, but happy to go on… and on… and on… By the time Tony managed to get away from that he barely had time to go to the liquor store and buy a very special bottle for tonight’s ‘guest’.

“Jarvis,” he said as he walked into the penthouse, “any sign of him?”

“No sir, nothing as yet.”

“He’s either going to show up early, or wait...”

“Those do seem to be the only two options, sir.”

“Smart Alek.”

“Indeed, sir.”

“I’m betting he figures I will just get nervous the longer this takes, and maybe drink too much again, so he’ll be late.” Tony only knew a few ways to keep his mind from worrying at an anxiety, and sex wasn’t an option in this case. _Hell, it was practically the problem_. “Bring up file H5, and hit the music, will you, Jarvis?”

“Of course, sir.”

In short order he was tearing into one of the more difficult technology problems, while music blared through the apartment at blessedly mind blanking decibel levels.

Jarvis had to address him twice to let him know that he had company. “I SAID, sir, that Mr. Laufeyson is on the balcony.”

He cut the music and shut down the files. He grabbed the two glasses he had set up on the way out.

Loki was leaning on the railing. He was leaning on the railing exactly where he had been laughing before, dammit. “Anyone ever tell you you’re a wise ass,” he snarled. _Oh God, so much for keeping control of the situation…_

Loki, fortunately, looked amused. “All the time, why?”

“So… you said you want to talk…”

“I believe, “Loki smiled and cocked his head slightly… and Tony started having a little trouble keeping his breathing level… ”that we have a great deal to talk about. More than I originally thought, perhaps.”

“And you say you are NOT just here to kill me?”

“If I was just here to kill you I would have done it already...” Loki sounded so very damn reasonable that Tony wanted to punch him.

“Yeah, well maybe I want to hear you say it, Reindeer Games, how about you humor me.”

“Stark, “Loki said, sounding bored, “I do not intend you any harm; I wish to speak to you. I have increasing reason to believe that this may end up being of mutual benefit, in fact.”

Tony grinned. _You lose, Loki… score one zero to team Tony…_

He handed Loki a glass. “Let’s drink to it.”

Loki looked puzzled and took a sip of the drink. He looked back down at it… ”Mead?”

Tony grinned his best ‘I’m a genius and you aren’t’ grin. “Then in accordance with the oldest laws, with the bindings of house and hearth, by the norns, and the foundation of the world… be welcome as a guest in my house, Loki…”

Loki looked shocked. Tony felt like he was going to bounce off the ceiling.

“The binding of Hospitality, Green Eyes: upheld by gods, giants and everything else in your crazy world. You hurt me now and odds are pretty good your own magic will turn against you.”

Loki looked furious.

Then he looked… grudgingly respectful?

“Oh, very good, Stark, very good… You are quite right. Hospitality binds the two of us, however. You are obliged to defend me while I am in your house, do me no harm, and provide for my needs, and I am obliged to the same… more or less”. Loki looked like he was thinking very fast. Fortunately everything Tony had studied, and everything Thor had told him, said there was no way around hospitality.

Tony turned his back on Loki in a show of pure bad ass cool.

“Yeah, well, since there isn’t anything further to discuss…”

“There is a great deal further to discuss…” Loki’s voice was much, much too close behind him. Tony refused to give him the satisfaction of turning around.

Thor had said this was absolute. No one could break formal hospitality and get away with it. Tony decided Loki was, however, not barred from yanking his chain. _He’s limited to trying to scare me, just stay cool._

He walked over to the bar and poured himself a scotch. He looked up at the bar mirror and caught his breath when he realized Loki was right behind him.

“Aren’t you going to tell Jarvis it’s as certain as scotch and soda?”

Tony did spin this time. Loki was so close… he could feel his own breath returning from Loki’s chest. He kept forgetting how tall Loki was. He could smell the leather; no surprise since it was inches from his nose. _Right, he had to have figured that was a code_. It was a prank, right? Just something to rattle him. Besides, that order would still get the team here in moments if Loki tried anything.

Tony put a bit of distance between them. He realized belatedly that the proximity and threat had started something that was going to be pretty obvious soon. He turned his back to Loki again, this time hoping he would take it as an insult, and not for what it was… an attempt to hide his growing erection. _Why did such dangerous things always have to be so attractive?_

 _Damn the bastard to hell_. “Jarvis!”

“Yes, sir?”

“No calls.”

“Are you certain, sir?”

“As certain as scotch and soda...”

And suddenly there was a strong hand over his mouth and an arm around his waist, and he was lifted cleanly off his feet.

“Jarvis…” said Loki, who sounded anything but defeated…

“I am taking him to the bedroom. I will not injure him too badly…”

Loki laughed, “... and I won’t damage his T-shirt at all…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last non explicit chapter for a while.
> 
> yes, hospitality is a thing, a big thing. i have drastically over simplified it for the purposes of this story. The problem is that tricksters, human or otherwise, are good at bending the rules.


	26. Chaperone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER alert: extremely dubious consent/non consent Bondage and threatening situation

It was bad enough that Loki was stronger than he was. What was sending his mind spiraling into pure panic was that he had been so sure this wasn’t possible. He’d done everything right… His plan had worked, damn it! Tony’s mind flailed against the situation as hard as his body did.

Unfortunately to exactly as much effect.

Loki carried him into the bedroom. He was humming in a sort of tunelessly happy fashion. Tony tried again to bite him. Loki pulled Tony back against his body with the hand over his mouth. Tony struggled harder as Loki's other hand reached off to the side for something.

“That… is remarkably inspirational…” Loki chuckled in his ear.

Tony suddenly realized that he could feel Loki hardening against his back.   _Oh shit_. What was it Nat had told him about some rapists? They got off on the fear…

Loki brought his other hand into view. It was holding the knife. Tony froze. _Fear… If only it was just fear…_ Loki moved the knife just off toward the corner of his vision.   Tony’s breath started coming faster.

“I know what you want… it’s alright…” Loki was murmuring into his ear.

 _Fucking hell NO it wasn’t alright,_ but he got pushed down into the pillows. Loki kept him pinned into the pillows with one hand. Just when Tony thought he was going to suffocate he was allowed up. He gasped for air, but when he opened his mouth to try to say anything he had something very firmly stuffed into it.

Loki fastened the gag quickly. He looked inordinately pleased with himself, Tony noted. He grabbed both of Tony’s wrists and pulled them overhead. In very short order he had tied both of Tony’s hands to the head board.

“Now I do hate to gag you, Stark,”   Loki said smiling down at him.

 _Sure you do, you psychotic bastard_ Tony tried to say anything intelligible, but all he managed was muffled gurgling.

“... but the adults need to talk.”

_The fuck?_

“Jarvis, can you hear me?”

 _What the hell?_ Tony tried to enunciate a command or cry for help around the gag.

“Yes, Mr. Laufeyson, can I be of some assistance?”

Loki began slowly, very slowly, cutting Tony out of his pants.

“Your master, Jarvis, how much alcohol has he had today?”

Tony was beginning to wonder that himself.

“Mr. Stark has only had a few sips of the mead, Mr. Laufeyson. Although I believe he was pouring a glass of scotch when you picked him up.”

“Really? Completely sober? How unusual.”

“Yes, Mr. Laufeyson, it is…”

Jarvis’s voice took on a note of some concern, “I believe Mr. Stark is trying to say something…”

Loki finished cutting off Tony’s pants and used the remains to tie his legs to the bottom of the bed.

“Oh, quite possibly, Jarvis; however, he is not damaged, is he?”

There was a pause.

_Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, I never programmed him for this, PLEASE come up with the right answer, just call for help and…_

“No, Mr. Laufeyson, he is not.”

Tony sagged into the bed. Of course. Jarvis couldn’t know… couldn’t understand…

Loki sat down next to Tony on the bed and began cutting him out of his socks and boxers. He smiled down at him and started stroking his leg with the flat of the blade.

“Hmm… would drawing blood be ‘injured too much’?”

_Oh, no… no you are NOT asking…_

Tony’s eyes widened. Loki looked him right in the eye and smiled that psychotic smile. He held up the knife and moved it directly between their eyes. _Oh my God, he knew… He knew…_ Tony concentrated on trying to breath around the gag.

“That would depend on the amount of blood and the location of the injury, Mr. Laufeyson.”

Tony realized with a certain degree of horror that he had gotten very hard. _Oh god, Pepper was right, this is sick…_

“I certainly would not wish to be a poor guest: Jarvis… please let me know if I appear to be doing anything questionable.”

“Certainly, Mr. Laufeyson.”

“Now, Stark,” Loki smiled at him and Tony felt the tip of the knife trace lightly up his thigh to his groin, “I wonder what we are going to do for a safe word with that gag in your mouth…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> do i need to tell you that in real life this is NOT ok? 
> 
> PS. In some consensual BDSM play you get situations that LOOK like this, but consent was established ahead of time, and there is a NON verbal "safe word" (or the two know each other so well as to read body language instead).


	27. Dubious Consent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dubious Consent: exactly what it says on the package.

“Thfwrd?! Wffl Fggn Thfwdrd?!” which was as clearly as the gag would let Tony say “Safeword?! What fucking safeword?!”

Tony stared incredulously at Loki, and promptly got distracted by the knife. Loki started waving it around in a hypnotic fashion. Behind the knife was the greenest pair of eyes in the world… and they were just as sharp…

“You know, I wonder...” Loki took the knife away, and Tony shook his head trying to clear it.

“Stark, you are such a sensual creature, really, but I am going to want you to focus a bit better.”

Tony groaned. _Oh God stop talking and do something… no, wait… that was wrong…_

Loki moved, ending up kneeling by the side of the bed at the level of Tony’s head. Tony had the most unsettling image of a sacrificial ritual….

Loki leaned in close to his ear. “Focus… You are very hard, my pet, and very eager...” His voice was so soft the words seemed to just exist, not actually be spoken, but he could almost feel Loki‘s lips on his ear.

“Do you think I could make you cum without touching you?”

_Oh no, you bastard…_

“I bet I could…”

Tony whined and thrashed against his restraints. He was so hard it almost hurt. He could feel his cock rubbing against his stomach as he moved. _He couldn’t just… not touch me._

Loki waited until he was still again. “You won’t be able to hear me if you don’t focus, Stark… you need discipline I can tell… Breathe and focus…”

Tony was convinced he would die. _I’m going to die right here from… not being touched. The bastard was a sadist…_ Tony closed his eyes and moaned.

“You want so much to be hurt… and I will hurt you… but this is on my terms.” Loki smiled up against his ear.

Tony felt himself getting very close…

“I want you to last a bit longer when I finally take you…”

 _Oh God, it had been so long_. Tony suddenly realized that he had never kicked the habit, never; he’d just been doing without. _Pepper was right; the suit was just a replacement high, like methadone._

Tony was making an animal whine in the back of his throat. He couldn’t stop. This was torture… this was hell… he wanted Loki so badly. He was fighting to keep still and quiet so he could hear him.

“I am going to carve my name on your skin…”

_Oh God, please…._

“I will draw runes of binding on you in your own blood…”

He pictured hands that could crush armor drawing lightly on him with a blade…

“You will be utterly mine…”

_I already am…_

“But before that…”

Tony was suspended in space and time, trembling on the edge…

“I will make you beg…”

The world exploded in pleasure so intense it was pain. He felt his body buck against nothing… and as he fell into stars and darkness, he heard Loki laughing softly in his ear.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes probably added later. sorry, filks, i have not been feeling well.


	28. Wintergreen and salt tears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aftercare, discussion, and the one thing Tony Stark will NOT permit.

As Tony’s mind began putting the world back in order, he realized that he was sitting up with Loki holding him around the waist. His hands weren’t tied to the head board anymore; they were tied behind his back. His fingertips brushed against Loki’s cock.

Loki leaned forward and murmured, “Patience…” as he brushed his lips against Tony’s ear.

Tony groaned and leaned back into him. He was still in that hazy state after an orgasm where he just… was. Some part of him was trying to be alarmed, but he couldn’t manage it right now.

“How utterly marvelous you are...” Loki breathed into his ear.

Tony felt liquid and warm inside. That alarmed part of him was calling himself names and yelling at him to do something, but it wasn’t important.

He heard a noise that he was very familiar with: the sound of ice in a glass.

“I am going to take the gag out, Stark. Be quiet.”

Tony didn’t think he could make any noise other than a low moan anyway. He tried to nod.

Loki removed the gag and started feeding him ice chips. It was incredibly intimate, feeling Loki’s fingertips in his mouth. He felt… cared for.

Tony realized the wet feeling on his face was tears; he tensed, expecting Loki to laugh at him.

Loki murmured, “What’s wrong, pet?”

Tony shivered. The last of that warm safe feeling left him in a rush.

He was naked except for his t shirt, with a psychotic god holding him nearly in his lap. Tony began to struggle, and turned his head away from Loki’s fingers. _It had just been so LONG…._

Loki pulled him across his lap and looked down at him. Tony closed his eyes expecting the worst: not physical pain; he expected Loki to humiliate him. Tony hated himself. He hated that he couldn’t stop crying. He didn’t even know why he was crying.

Loki leaned down and kissed his tears away.

Tony’s eyes flew open in shock.

Loki moved down to his lips and pressed his lips gently against Tony’s. Tony yielded immediately, opening his mouth to him. Loki tasted like wintergreen and salt tears. Tony swore he could taste the knife edge. He could feel power crackling behind it all, like licking a battery. He moaned and tried to move up into Loki’s kiss.

Loki’s hands moved down Tony’s body. _They were so light, like feather touches_. Tony wanted to curse in frustration but he was gagged by Loki’s kiss. Tony tried to bite, tried to force himself up into those hands, but Loki started to move away.

Tony realized there were words pouring out of him: “Oh God, oh god, please, oh god can’t... Have to... please...”

Loki kissed him again, this time with more insistence.

Loki pulled back and   moved his mouth to Tony’s ear. “I’m going to stop, Stark….”

“Nooooo…” Tony moaned. _No, no don’t stop, don’t ever stop._

“The only way I will touch you again, with my hands or an edge, is if we have a safeword… and Jarvis understands it.”

 _Oh thank God_ , _you’re not going to stop…“_ There’s… a… program... for that…” Tony tried to recover his breath.

“I thought there might be…”

Loki untied him, and rubbed his wrists and ankles with a damp cloth. He helped him move to the edge of the bed and gave him sips of ice water. Tony wondered if everything they knew about Loki was wrong. No one had ever cared for him afterwards… not like that.

“You need a safeword, Stark, and we need to discuss some limits. As difficult as it is to believe, I don’t want to harm you,” he laughed. “Hurt you, certainly, but not harm you…”

Tony wanted to melt into him, but he pulled himself up a bit straighter. “Damn straight...” His voice cracked and he swore under his breath. “Damn straight we need some limits.”

Loki traced a finger down the back of Tony’s neck and his thoughts derailed.

“And what limits did you have in mind, Stark?”

“The first thing...” Tony‘s voice gathered some strength as Loki stopped petting his neck. “The first thing is you stop calling me Stark, for Chrissakes, it’s Tony…”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> by the way, Loki is not accustomed to... being this gentle. or aftercare. 
> 
> if you notice, other than certain touches that are uniquely his own.... he is mimicking what Ms Vivienne did to him.  
> Loki learns fast and pays attention.  
> sigh. speaking as the author i wish Tony did.


	29. Limits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> more discussion, safewords, and limits  
> (see notes)

“Tony?” Loki arched an eyebrow at him. “No.”

“NO?! For fuck’s sake, Rudolph, you can’t just do that to a guy and still call him by his last name!”

“I can do what I want.” Loki smiled in a way that made the hair on the back of Tony’s neck stand up… and something else stand up, too.

“Oh, no… No, I can’t,” Tony whined, and started trying to grab sheets.

“Can’t what?” Loki asked lightly.

“You can’t have gotten me interested again this fast, no way.” Tony glared at him.

_No, really, I mean it’s been a long time but…this isn’t possible... is it?_

 Loki… snickered. That was the only way to describe that. He snickered. “Why, I’m flattered.”

“Fuck you,” Tony snarled, trying to   gather some shreds of his dignity, possibly from the remains of his pants.

“Not without a safeword… and some limits…” Loki pulled out his knife and tested it against a scrap of Tony’s pants. Tony froze and watched incredibly thin slivers of Italian suit wool start peeling off...

 “You were saying?” Loki said after… wait… where had the scrap of pants gone? _Oh… he’d cut it to slivers and I just stood here getting… really worked up._

“Jarvis,” Tony’s voice quavered a bit.

“Yes, sir?”

“Fuzzy pink unicorn program: run.”

“Working, sir. What is the stop code?”

“Armadillo.”

Loki smirked, “Lacking in imagination…”

“Yeah, well, I can remember it.”

“Very well, but what EXACTLY does this mean? Your ‘scotch and soda’ command means that I can hurt you, but not ‘too badly’. What does this command do?”

“Uh… basically you can do almost anything, as long as I’m conscious, and I don’t say that word.”

Loki looked at him and shook his head. “Unacceptable.”

“Unacceptable?! Fuck… what more do you WANT?!” Tony stared at him. _Seriously? Seriously?!_ He had to think Tony was an idiot. Shit, he shouldn’t have activated that program. Tony was opening his mouth to say ‘armadillo’ and then throw him out (somehow) when Loki interrupted:

“Oh, you misunderstand: I don’t want more; I want less.”

Tony blinked. “Wait... what?”

“The entire point of this is to set some limits. Right now, the only limit is ‘not unconscious’ and not saying that word. How, exactly, does this safeguard you?”

“I think… I think I am really lost here.” Tony sat down. _Safeguard me? He… he actually wanted... limits?_ Tony wished his mind didn’t feel like the ground kept shifting under him.

“Oh, you certainly are. You need a keeper,” Loki replied.

 _Pepper used to say that._ Tony winced, “Yeah, well, she left me.”

“Whereas I will never leave you; I may destroy you, but I will never leave you.”

Tony knew that shouldn’t be reassuring. It should feel like a threat. He tried to make a joke of it, “Promises, promises,” and cursed himself when his voice shook.

“I give my word very rarely, and I always keep it,” Loki said, and somehow THAT sounded like a threat. “We will get back to that. You have limits, Stark...”

He sprang to his feet. “TONY!” he howled at him, balling up his fists and incidentally dropping the sheets. His erection pointed proudly at the ceiling. Tony scrambled to reassemble his makeshift toga.

 Loki sighed, “Everyone calls you that. It’s a child’s name.” Loki looked thoughtful. “Antony would be the correct name… why do they call you Anthony?”

“Uh... I don’t know, that’s just the way it is.”

Loki smirked, “Will ‘Anthony’ be acceptable?”

Tony had a terrible feeling about this. “Sure, just not ‘Stark’.”

Loki started shaking with laughter like he had in the recordings.

Tony snarled, “WHAT?!” at him.

“Another time...” Loki said grinning at him. “Focus…. Anthony.”

 _Oh God_ , now _the word ‘focus’ is becoming a turn on_ …

“Limits,” Loki said firmly.

“Uh, like what?”

Loki sighed… “I assume, Anthony, that one of them should be about that delightfully vulnerable blue glow in your chest?”

Tony swayed slightly; he felt sick. _Loki had to point that out. Loki!_

“Yeah, totally off limits... right you are.” He sat down on the chair near the bed. “Shit.”

Loki looked at him thoughtfully. “Take off the shirt.”

“Uh, what?”

“Take off your shirt. I would like to see exactly what I am trying to avoid.”

Tony had to admit that was only fair.   He took off his t-shirt and stood in front of Loki. He was still clutching a sheet to his waist. Loki walked over and looked thoughtfully at his chest. He traced some of the scars with his finger and Tony shivered  Somehow this felt more naked than having his pants cut off.

“You will have to tell me more about that, so I don’t accidentally do anything… but for now we will just assume it’s off limits. Anything else?”

Tony sat back down in the chair. “Not that I can think of right now.”

Loki stood silently for a little while. “We may add some things then, as you think of them.” Loki was on him before he could react, hauling him from the chair and throwing him on the bed in one motion.

Tony landed hard on the bed. _What the hell?!_ He wasn’t hurt, but he did have the wind knocked out of him.

“But I believe I already told you what I was going to do…” Loki didn’t so much smile as bare his teeth.

 _Safeword, I have a safeword,_ Tony thought, and some part of him whispered _you’d never use it._

Tony was flipped face down on the bed with his hands over his head.

 

“Now, Anthony,“ Loki purred in his ear, as Tony had his hands re-cuffed and   attached to the bed, “I want to hear you beg.”

 

 

 

   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tony is an unsafe bottom. he had a clear cut chance to establish some "don't do this, do this only if its discussed, etc" limits and ...nothing. partly because tony really doesn't WANT any limits.  
> and truth be told partly because Tony doesn't trust this not to be a trick. (that part is reasonable)
> 
> if you ever have this kind of discussion in real life, please tell the top if there are any triggers or hard limits that need... special handling.


	30. Breath control - Loki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asphyxiation, knives, a brown eyed mortal and a green eyed god...

He flipped Anthony face down on the bed to avoid damaging his arc reactor. He moved fast, re-securing him to the bed. “Now, Anthony, I want to hear you beg.” Loki was certain that the shock of being forced would start his poet struggling again. It did.

“Fuck! What’s that about…?” Anthony snarled into the bed and struggled to get his head up.

Loki pushed his head back down into the pillows. The last time, his darling creature had shown an intense response to difficulty breathing; Loki wanted to see if he could repeat it. He held Anthony down into the pillows until his struggles lost coordination, then pulled him up by his hair.

Anthony’s eyes were beautifully unfocused. _What an insanely sensual creature Anthony was_. Loki held his head up by his hair with one hand and ran his other hand down the front of Anthony’s body from his throat to his cock. He jerked and thrashed like a gutted fish. He moaned throatily.

Loki thought the sound was entrancing; he wanted to do it again, but his pet seemed inclined to cum far too quickly _. You are going to have to develop some stamina…_

“What did I tell you about discipline, elskan mín hækkaði,” Loki purred into his ear. Then he let go of his hair and dropped his head back into the pillows. “Not so quickly…”

It amused Loki no end that, even half suffocating him and lifting him by the hair, Anthony didn’t really want him to stop; he was, after all, ungagged, and had only to say one word. Sarah’s voice echoed in his mind: _‘Tony Stark would let him…’_

Loki quickly stripped off his own clothing, folding it neatly on the chair. He reached under the bed and found what he expected: a mostly empty bottle of scotch.

“I am afraid I cannot permit you to drink as you have been,” Loki said, as he forced Anthony to look at the bottle, “but I have other uses for it.”

“What?” Anthony’s voice was blurred and rough. His eyes were still wide and dark, but slowly regaining some coherence.   Loki wondered how he could be such a ruler and a warrior and still be such a marvelous slave. _He would have fetched a good price in the right markets,_ Loki’s thoughts turned a bit dark at the thought of anyone ELSE seeing him like this. _All mine._

Well, now that he knew he would make certain Anthony never even thought of another master. “You were meant for this…” Loki said fondly. He poured a measure of scotch over his knife carefully, making sure Anthony saw it. He poured the rest over Anthony’s back and legs.

Anthony started making less than desirable noises. Loki pushed his head back into the pillows and counted. When he pulled him up this time, Anthony just hung limply and panted; his eyes were glazed and soft. _So obvious!_  Loki murmured, “Of course they could see it, of course they could… I only wonder that I couldn’t…”

Loki put the edge of the blade to Anthony’s upper arm, directly in line with his eyes. He waited until he saw Anthony’s eyes focus on the blade. “There, isn’t that what you want gæludýr minn? Hmmm?” Anthony made soft little whimpering noises.

Loki drew the blade across his arm gently; a curved line of blood followed it. Anthony moaned and tried to push his hips into the bed. “Ah, even less…” Loki reminded himself of how fragile his pet was: _even such a light cut had almost been too deep._

“No, not so fast, elskan,“ he said, pulling Anthony’s body across his lap. “Focus, pet; focus on the knife and your breathing…”  

He began to draw lightly with the blade across his back and buttocks.   Anthony moaned and shook and pushed his hips down into Loki’s lap, which rubbed their cocks together. _He was already lost in it,_ Loki marveled.

Smiling down at his new canvas, Loki decided to take his time with the design. His pet needed to learn that discipline and patience were worthwhile.   Loki moved the blade slowly, making delicate curves and lines. Some that drew a line of blood behind them, some that barely pinked across Anthony’s skin. He spent a while interlacing designs across Anthony’s back, his cheeks, his thighs. Loki was breathing shallowly, almost holding his breath; he had never had to be this delicate before.  

Slowly a stylized Yggdrasil took shape over Anthony’s back and legs. Deeper cuts formed the trunk and main branches, fading to barely pink scratches for the outermost leaves. Anthony’s moans and pleadings had subsided to silence and deep ragged breathing by the time Loki decided to stop. He would have preferred to spend more time on this, but he was trying to keep Anthony’s fragile nature in mind.

“Now tell me what you want,” Loki murmured in Anthony’s ear as he he lifted his head up and looked at his eyes.

“Wrr?” Anthony looked drugged: his eyes were so dark as to appear black; his breathing was rough and irregular. Loki didn’t think he was seeing much of Midgard right now, but those other branches of the tree where sex slaves sometimes went in spirit. He hadn’t thought his pet could go so far so soon…

Loki laughed softly, “It wouldn’t take much, would it?” He ran his hand across the marks on Anthony’s back and brought his hand down across his cheeks. Anthony gasped in pain, his eyes still unfocused, but opened wide. He arched his back away from Loki’s hand and thrust his balls onto Loki’s cock. Loki watched him arch and flex as he felt him cum, mouth open, breath coming in ragged gasps. _He is utterly stunning_.

Anthony collapsed and lay limply across him. Loki unlocked the cuffs and rolled him over to his side; he lay there as if unconscious, but his eyes were open. His cock was softening, twitching and pumping the last of his cum onto his thighs. “Elskan mín hækkaði , Hvað valda tilefnislausri þú ert.” _Mine, all mine._

Loki brushed the hair back from Anthony’s closing eyes. “Sleep,” he said, watching Anthony’s breathing slow and become gentler. “You can rest for now.”

Loki laughed at himself. If he kept on like this, he was going to spoil Anthony. He would simply have to be stricter next time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes to be added later:
> 
> sorry readers, I had a very scary incident here at my house last night. an attempted break in. Luckily i have a Caucasian Ovcharka dog. But i am still not doing that well, i hope i can edit in my notes later.  
> thank you for understanding
> 
> Oh, my second ever fan fic is now posted. not part of this universe at all.


	31. Silly - Loki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there is not quite a pillow fight.  
> no, really

While Anthony was still unconscious, Jarvis helped Loki find cream and bandages for Anthony’s arm. There weren’t enough medical supplies here as far as Loki was concerned. Jarvis assured him there was a nearly complete emergency hospital in the building, just not in the penthouse.

“Jarvis, once your master is able to discuss such things, we need to have more supplies here: something in between what he has now and a hospital. I have to be able to treat any wounds quickly.” Loki shuddered as he remembered Ms. Vivienne’s lecture on infection.

“Of course, Mr. Laufeyson. I shall attend to what I can, and arrange the rest with Mr. Stark.”

Loki stretched and lay down next to his poet. Anthony was merely asleep now.

“Shall I turn off the lights, Mr. Laufeyson?”

“No! Not… not completely, Jarvis. I want to be able to see him.”

“I shall turn the lights down, but not off, Mr. Laufeyson.”

“Good night.”

The lights dimmed. He could still see Anthony lying in the bed.  In fact, Loki realized, Anthony provided his own light. Loki lay down next to him and pulled him in close.

His dreams were jumbles of nightmares and pleasantries, but whenever he woke, shaking, Anthony was there in his arms. Loki murmured, “minn,” and went back to sleep.

Sometime late in the morning, Loki assumed from the light pouring in the windows, Anthony finally stirred. He stretched in Loki’s arms and then yelped, “Sonofabitch!”

“I think that’s what you yell when I peel the stabilizers off your suit, Anthony; surely, this is somewhat milder…” Loki grinned down at him.

Anthony blinked and looked around… ”Jarvis?”

“Yes, sir?”

“That IS Loki, right? I mean he’s really HERE, right?” Loki fell into the pillows laughing… _Oh, what a plaintive tone he had!_

 _“_ Yes, sir.“ Jarvis’s voice was dryer than usual. “Mr. Laufeyson has been here since yesterday evening.”

Anthony fell back onto the pillows. Loki   grinned down at him, “You think I am a dream? Should I be flattered?”

“Err… Well, the second… I mean, I’d dreamed…” Anthony trailed off.

Loki ran his hand down Anthony’s back over the fading marks left by his knife. Anthony moaned and shuddered and clung to Loki like he was drowning. “Careful, skáld mín , such eloquence could inspire me to more…”

Anthony started and looked up. His widening eyes met Loki’s. _Oh… Oh there, there it was again… those naked eyes… pleading desire and fear_ … Loki was suddenly very awake and very interested.

“I couldn’t… I’d die… I’m serious…” Anthony was trembling but still staring up at Loki with those eyes. “It had never been... not even in my dreams.”

“Do I come to you in your dreams, Hækkaði?” _I do? He dreams of me?_

“Yeah, you usually end up killing me though… at the end…” Anthony laughed kind of weakly. He looked away. “Still better than most of the other dreams I get.”

Loki wondered if that odd sensation was ‘sympathy’. It felt like… like he could feel echoes of Anthony’s pain. Loki knew about bad dreams. “Shhh… shhh…. It will be alright…” He pulled Anthony back into his arms.

Loki cursed himself for nine kinds of a fool. He had business to be about, and plans to make, and a hundred better things to do than lie here in bed with this enemy Midgardian with the poetry and the naked eyes. _Who dreams of me…_ Yet here he was, and here he stayed.

“So, pet, are you saying that you are not able? Your body disagrees….” Loki reached down and stroked him. Anthony shuddered and moaned.

Loki kept petting and stroking him, alternating between his knife marked skin and his intact skin. Anthony became incoherent in short order. Loki sighed, _Passion and desire he has in no short supply, but his discipline and stamina are lacking._

“Focus, pet.”

For some reason, Anthony groaned and buried himself in the pillows.

“What, kjánalegt maður?“

“You keep saying that.”

“Kjánalegt? You are…”

“NO!   ‘Focus’, you doof… Wait, what does kgen…kjr… that sneeze with pretentions mean?”

Loki laughed and hit him with what remained of one of the pillows. “It means ‘silly’, and you are! And you need to learn to focus: you cannot even focus on the word ‘focus’.” Suddenly, it was all too funny and they were both laughing back in the bed. Loki wondered how his pet had managed to unravel him so completely, so soon.

Anthony abruptly sat up. “Starving!”

“What?”

“Oh, my God, it’s been since yesterday afternoon! Aren’t you hungry?”

“I rarely notice. “ _I have been hungry too much, my pet._

“Well, if I don’t eat something quick, I’m going to bite someone.” Anthony frowned and trotted out of the room without dressing.

 _He’s like one of the small rat hounds! I swear, I need a leash!_ “It had best be me, pet, I do not share…”   Loki looked around and finally found a bathrobe; it was too short. He resolved to leave a few changes of clothing here.

By the time Loki got to the kitchen, Anthony had piled a haphazard heap of foodstuffs on the table and was busy assembling a sandwich, if you could call it that. Loki was certain that most sandwiches had some kind of… plan... to them.

“This? This is what you eat?”

“Is that a trick question?” Anthony stopped with the sandwich half way to his mouth.

“No.”

“Yeah, well it is. At least it is when I have been working too long and forgot to eat; this, and cold pizza.”

“Another thing that has to stop. This cannot be healthy,” Loki chided.

“It’s healthy! Look, meat, vegetables… I think this is a vegetable…”

“Perhaps we could go out? Or order something in?” Anthony had taken a bite and begun chewing. Loki was struck by an inspiration. “Do you like shawarma? I know a place not far from here.”

Anthony swallowed convulsively and froze, staring at him.

“Anthony?

“Anthony?”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He’s like one of the small rat hounds! I swear, I need a leash!... basically Loki has just realized that he had adopted a Jack Russel Terrier. ok a Jack Russel Terrier that can disassemble your kitchen...  
> wait, that IS a Jack Russel Terrier.
> 
> most JRT cant re build it into an iron man suit, though that would take a poodle.
> 
> (yes i have pets. can you tell?)
> 
>  
> 
> and Loki does know a shawarma place not far from here. Sarah took him there. (same chapter as the knit shop). yes it was the SAME shawarma place.


	32. Playing with his food - Loki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Humor and innuendo.

Anthony just stared at him.

“WHAT did you say?!”

“Shawarma? It’s a food style…” Loki wondered what on earth had gotten in to Anthony. Whatever it was, it was hysterically funny to watch.

“Shawarma, yeah, heard of it, didn’t know you had, when did you go to… anyway near here you say? No, I don’t think that’s a great idea, but, when did you go there, I mean get interested in shawarma anyway ...” Anthony was babbling.

 _Oh, this was just too good!_ Loki had no idea what Anthony’s past experience with shawarma was, but he just HAD to play with it.

“Eat your food, Anthony.” Loki put a stern tone in his voice. _You are SO going to need your strength_ , he snickered to himself.

Anthony ate in silence looking unsettled. Loki had a small sandwich.

As soon as Anthony had finished his food and drink, and started talking about dessert, Loki said, “Shawarma…”

Anthony practically squeaked, “Yeah, shawarma… had some… nice place…”

Loki resolved to find out every detail about this… later.

“Lovely meal presentation,“ Loki said smiling. “There is this large slab of meat…” Loki put a sexual tone into the word ‘meat’, “upright, restrained... basted in its own warm juices… and then you use a knife…” he gestured with his knife, “…and slice very thin slivers of meat off…”

Anthony looked like he might cum at the table. His body was swaying slightly and he stared at the knife.

“Focus….”

Anthony moaned.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> updating early because this is just a short vignette.   
> enjoy!


	33. knives or gravy?- Loki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki's Pov

Loki led Anthony out to the living area. “You need more places to be tied to…”

Anthony shook his head. “Not exactly high on my list of interior decorating needs there, Loki.”

Loki stopped and stared at him.

“What?” Anthony said.

“You DO know my name; I was beginning to wonder...” Loki said drily as he looked around the penthouse.

“What, I’ve called you Loki...”

“When?”

While Tony was distracted, Loki walked over and flipped the sofa up on its end and put it against the wall.

“Hey! Watch the sofa, Frosty…”

“My point.”

Loki pulled Tony over to the sofa and looked thoughtful. “It will have to do.”

Tony looked dubious. “It’s going to fall on me.”

Loki grinned and said, “Then don’t move…”

Anthony looked at Loki. “Um, not to pad your ego any worse than it already is, but… as good as you are in bed? That’s not possible.”

“Skáld mín , however did I miss you….”

“What?”

Loki went into the bedroom and came out with one of the sheets. He tore it into strips and tied Anthony, standing, to the sofa. Loki was pleased to see that Anthony didn’t struggle or try to move, although he did make sarcastic comments the entire time.

“So... uh... planning on pouring gravy on me?” Anthony asked, entirely failing to sound casual.

Loki had a sudden certainty that Ms. Vivienne would appear in the room if he did. He shuddered slightly. “No,” he said firmly, repeating one of the rules she had gone over, at length, “food never mixes well with piercings or cutting.”

Then Loki got an evil idea; he grinned at Anthony, who was tied tightly to the sofa. “Alright, pet… choose.”

“Choose?”

“I can cover you in gravy, or syrup, or something equally fun… or I can play with edges.” Loki’s grin widened. “And it is one or the other, not both.”

Anthony looked stricken.

Loki smirked. _I will make him say it… I suppose we will get to begging again sometime soon after all._

Anthony whined in the back of his throat and looked pleadingly at Loki.

Loki just stood there and grinned at him. _I am ten times your age, my darling rose, and you have no discipline. I can outwait you._

After what was an apparently tortuous five minutes, Anthony sagged against the bindings. “Knives,” he said very quietly.

Loki chuckled, “What was that, my pet?”

Anthony winced, “Oh, come ON Rudolph, do I have to say it?”

Loki started pretending to clean his nails with the knife. “Who?”

“Loki!” he wailed at him.

“Yes, Anthony: ‘Loki’.” Loki nodded at him. “And what would you like ‘Loki’ –not Reindeer Games or Rudolph, or any of those other names- what would you like LOKI to do?”

Anthony unleashed a barrage of curse words and insults. Loki made notes. Some of those were inventive.

Loki smiled and pulled up a chair. “Anthony, I am well over a thousand of your years old; I have absolutely no place I need to be until after the weekend; I have the knife; and I am not tied to a sofa. You have the patience of a child; a desperate need for discipline; a fascination with knives; and you ARE tied to a sofa. So tell me: who is going to win this one?”

Anthony stared at him.

Loki smiled patiently.

Anthony sagged. “Knives, please, Loki.”

“It needs work.” Loki got up and stretched. He came over and put the point of the knife to Anthony’s shoulder. Anthony shivered.

Loki suddenly stabbed the knife into the sofa just above Anthony’s arm.

“What?!” Anthony startled.

Loki leaned in and put his hands on either side of Anthony’s face. He kissed him, demandingly. He bit his way along Anthony’s chin, and down his throat. He sank his teeth into the spot he had touched with the knife. Anthony howled and tried to force his hips into Loki, but Loki had tied him so that he couldn’t move. Loki ran his hands down Anthony’s body and began nipping down his stomach. Loki slid to his knees.

_I am going to spoil you for any other if I have to kill you to do it._

Anthony gasped as Loki brushed his cock with his lips and then bit gently down. Loki softly ran his tongue over him, carefully measuring his response, then smirked and started teasing Anthony with his teeth.

The sofa rocked precariously.

“Focus, Anthony. Try to hold still.”

Anthony moaned and braced his legs. Loki smiled evilly and started nibbling gently down the side of Anthony’s shaft. Anthony bucked and whined. The sofa would have fallen if Loki hadn’t kept one hand on it pushing it up against the wall.

“Focus, pet… the longer you can last, the more I can do.”

Anthony gasped as Loki took his cock in his mouth; Loki dragged his teeth across the sensitive skin.  Anthony was shaking the sofa so badly that no one less strong than Loki could have held it up. Loki abruptly stood up and pressed himself hard against Anthony’s body. He bent his head down and nipped Anthony’s ear.

Loki pulled his knife from the sofa, and held it next to Anthony’s head as he leaned into him, holding his eyes with his own.

“I will have you beg, my pet…” Loki ground his hips into him, trapping their cocks between them tightly.

“I will carve my name on your skin…“ Loki smiled as he felt Anthony cum between them.

“þú verður að vera algerlega minn.“

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first of all: food (and unknown body fluid, and anything else non sterile) shouldn't mix with piercings or cuttings. its a major infection risk.  
> now that THAT's out of the way...
> 
> my very favorite scene in the entire story so far is the dialog about who is tied to the sofa.


	34. I will Make you Beg

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki has promises to keep. This is one of them.

Loki kept his body pressed up against Anthony, still holding the sofa against the wall. Anthony shuddered and moaned as his orgasm wrung him dry. Anthony’s eyes fluttered and he fell limply against the ties holding him in place.

Loki waited.

When Anthony’s breathing was even again, Loki started kissing him gently on the lips. Tony’s body responded without thought or volition, opening his mouth and yielding to Loki’s gentle insistence.

“Elskan mín hækkaði , þú verður að vera minn,” Loki murmured into Anthony’s ear.

Anthony began to moan.

“Are you here again?” Loki asked gently. “Do you need anything?”

“You,” Anthony murmured against him.

Loki startled and looked down at Anthony with affection. “Elskan skáld mín.”

Loki moved away slightly, now that Anthony could stand again.

Loki picked up a different knife. He had prepared this one in advance and it hadn’t just been embedded in a sofa.

“So, my Hækkaði, tell me what you want?”

“The knife, I want you to cut me, Loki…” Anthony breathed, looking at Loki with something approaching worship.

Loki smiled down at him. He put the knife edge to Anthony’s throat and watched him swallow hard. He traced the blade down his chest to just above the arc reactor’s blue glow. He lifted the blade and drew it down to his abdomen, passing a fraction of an inch over the arc reactor. Loki drew the edge lightly across his stomach. Anthony moaned deep in his throat.

“Focus, Hækkaði… breathe…“ Loki spoke quietly as he drew circles and swirls down his stomach to his groin. Loki settled himself down on his haunches in front of Anthony. It was difficult to keep the cuts as shallow as he needed them when Anthony’s stomach fluttered and shook with passion. Anthony was already hard when Loki began touching the knife like a whisper to his cock.

Anthony started murmuring quietly, hanging in his cradle of ties against the sofa.

Loki ran his fingertips along the scratches: mostly pink lines, but here and there blood welled up slowly. He painted the blood down across Anthony’s balls and moved his fingers back, while his other hand traced the knife down Anthony’s thighs.

Anthony offered no resistance at all to Loki’s probing fingers. His murmuring took on an urgent, pleading tone. Loki brought the knife up and held it against Anthony’s member again. Loki pushed a finger into Anthony, and watched him; he just moaned throatily.

_No, you are no stranger to this, my darling… but I think it has been a while…_

Loki smiled as he listened to Anthony’s increasingly desperate murmurings….

“Oh please, oh please, Loki… Oh God, please…”

A bare whisper of magic to slick his fingers more than the blood, and he moved another finger into Anthony, and then another. He didn’t think his pet could stand more at the moment. Loki pressed his fingers up into Anthony from behind and held his cock up against his stomach with the flat of the blade.

“I cannot hear you, my pet.”

“Please…” Anthony begged; and his eyes were all pleading and passion.

 _No, it’s far too soon._ Loki knew that, he KNEW, but still found himself saying words that shouldn’t have come for days, or weeks, yet, “verður þú að vera minn?” _No, it had to be understood, and freely answered, or nothing would come of it._ “Will you beg for me to possess you? Will you plead to be mine, my pet?” It was too soon, Loki knew, but at least the blade had touched blood willingly enough. Loki stilled himself to let Anthony speak, if he wished.

“What?” Anthony started making some light remark, and then seemed to focus on Loki’s serious eyes.

“Begging’s…not…my…style…” He was breathing hard still, and trying to push himself into Loki’s fingers.

_Too soon, far too soon, curse me for an impulsive fool…_

Anthony licked his lips, “but for you, green eyes, I could make an exception…”

Loki held his breath…

“Please, Loki, I can’t stand it. It’s been too long since… since anyone… I want to be yours...”

_“I want to be yours…”_

Loki lowered his head and began to lick and suck at Anthony’s cock, still held in place by his knife. He bit gently at the most sensitive spots. He started moving his fingers inside his pet: Anthony screamed.

Loki deliberately slowed his pace, feeling Anthony twist and writhe on him, trying to get more sensation.

He started alternating between his mouth and his hand, throwing Anthony into spasms as he tried to respond first to one and then the other. He nipped Anthony with his front teeth until he thrust forward against the knife, and then withdrew his mouth and moved his fingers inside him until Anthony moved back onto his hand desperately. Loki started curling his fingers inside him, slowly.

Anthony was begging in earnest now. “Please, please let me… Oh god, anything! How can you… I cant… please” He trailed off into gasps and whines, thrashing into the bindings.

“I told you I would make you beg,” Loki growled into his cock as he moved his tongue insistently into the glistening opening of Anthony’s member.   He began moving his fingers more rapidly inside his poet. Anthony was a hairs breadth from coming, when Loki smiled evilly and stopped.

“NOOOO!” Anthony was shaking and breathing in great gasping gulps. He stared down at Loki with his pupils completely blown. He was hanging limply in the restraints, his leg muscles shaking and unable to support him.

“Beg.” Loki smiled up at him. “Tell me what you want.”

Anthony didn’t seem to understand. Loki moved one finger slowly inside him, “Beg.” He hissed.

His poet begged. “Let me cum, I can’t stand anymore….I’m yours, I.. Please Loki don’t do this… I have to have more, it’s too much it’s too slow, you know I need it. “ he twisted desperately in the bindings. “Please! Let me cum, Loki… “

Loki nodded, “Góður Elskan skáld mín. When you please me you are rewarded.”

“Please… God… Loki…”

He turned the knife edge just barely into Anthony from the front, drawing a few drops of blood, and then he thrust his hand up into him from behind. He spread his fingers inside Anthony and made him howl. Loki found the spot he wanted and flexed his fingers against it. Anthony shuddered and shook and came.

Loki moved back, and watched Anthony’s cum cover the knife.

The knife he would one day use to bind him forever.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Throughout most of the world body fluids have magical significance.  
> words have power.  
> put the two together....


	35. Questions -Loki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Tony asks a delicate question. indelicately, because he's Tony

Loki had released his pet from the bindings and put the sofa back in place. He put the knife carefully back into its case. His Anthony… HIS Anthony… was unconscious on the now horizontal sofa. Loki was shaking. He took refuge in the precision of ritual, and put everything away.

He started mechanically cleaning Anthony’s wounds. Some of the cuts on his stomach had gone deeper than expected, probably because he kept moving, but none seemed threatening.

 _“Any infection can maim or kill…”_ Ms. Vivienne’s warning whispered fear into his mind.

Loki wanted to scream. He was fairly certain that if he had unfettered use of his magics he could remedy this weakness right now, but….

_Focus… discipline… breathe…_

His darling poet had asked; had begged. Loki didn’t know why he was concerned; even his desperate impulsiveness hadn’t done any harm.

But he would move more slowly from now on.

“Loki?’ Anthony’s voice sounded weak. Loki looked worriedly down at him.

“Yes, gæludýr minn? Are you well? Do you need anything?” He reached down and stroked Anthony’s hair back.

“Just… just stay…“

Loki slid onto the sofa with him and pulled Anthony’s body on top of him. “I am not leaving yet, my pet.”

They lay there like that for a while. Loki found the hum of Anthony’s chest against his body oddly soothing. Anthony was very quiet, too quiet.   Even in bed he was loud, maybe especially in bed. In Loki’s opinion the only way his pet could be quiet for long was if he was gagged, and even then he made wet protesting noises. Loki grinned at the memory. Maybe he should try gagging him again; the outraged eyes over the gag were so FUNNY….

Anthony’s head was resting on Loki’s chest and he tilted his head up to look at him, “Got a question, there, antlers…”

Loki stared down at him. “Antlers!” he snorted, “I am not wearing my helm, and they look nothing like antlers…”

“There isn’t any good way to ask this, I bet,” he said frowning.

“But you will ask anyway,“ Loki smirked down at him, and petted his hair.

“I know you’ve been interested, I mean, I can SEE that...” Anthony shifted on top of him and grinned wickedly, “and feel it…”

Loki WAS interested: Anthony was lying on top of him, naked, with his marks all over him; how could he not be?

“Ask. I expected it eventually.” Loki sighed. He had hoped this would be later. His Anthony would notice, of course. Loki was inordinately pleased with the mind on the man, even if it was incredibly annoying.

“You … you haven’t done anything… yourself, you know? I mean... not that you’re any slouch with your hands...” Anthony became distracted, apparently thinking lusty thoughts from the way his body hardened.

Loki laughed,“ Focus, pet.”

Anthony swatted at him. “God damn it, stop SAYING that.” Anthony looked firmly at him. “Why?”

“Why? Well, if you focus, pet, I can…” Loki got just that far and Anthony bit him, hard, on the nipple.

Loki growled happily, “You shall have to do THAT some more, pet.”

“You like... uh… sure…” Anthony shook his head, “Later…” He frowned at Loki. “That’s not what I mean and you know it. At this point I’ve cum enough to make this place look like a rave party under black light, more times than I would have thought I COULD… but you haven’t, not once.”

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> since this is a short chapter i may post the next installment this evening, depending.
> 
> no, he hasn't. go back and re read it.


	36. Taking it all in

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony's POV  
> Loki answers Tony's questions. Tony gets more than he bargained for as an answerr
> 
> also Tony is an idiot

Tony held his breath. _Not exactly the easiest question to ask any guy, you know, much less …_ _Much less the guy who can break you in half without trying._

Loki didn’t exactly look shocked at the question, though; he said he’d been expecting it.

Tony watched Loki’s face get very guarded. He felt Loki’s body get… not stiff, just really still. It reminded him of the way Natasha and Clint got still when something really bugged them.

“Do you remember when I threw you out the window?” Loki asked him softly.

Tony stiffened, and not in a good way. “Yeah…” _Was that a threat? It kind of didn’t sound like a threat, Loki was weird though, it was probably a threat…._

“It was not something I should have done. You… you were useful… even if I couldn’t use the scepter on you… I was going to be punished for that…”

_Punished? Wait, what?_

“But your words hurt, pet. I have heard such insults to my manhood too often. Given my argr -my womanly arts- and my choice of weapons…“ Loki wound his fingers into Tony’s hair. “... And that was before…”

 _Oooh, shit. The performance jab? About the scepter? Maybe best to come at this obliquely_. “Womanly arts?“ Tony tried to choose his words carefully. “I know Asgard is kind of different, but… I hadn’t noticed you… wait… is this about the knitting or something?”

Loki started laughing. Thank God it was his “Tony is a great comedian” laugh and not his “I am going to kill you slowly” laugh.

“NO! Knitting is something I had little knowledge of before I came here, although apparently if one wishes to meet women it is an excellent skill.”

“Ok, then what womanly arts are we talking about?”

“Magic.”

Tony could NOT have heard this right. “Magic? Magic is a ‘womanly art’? Uh… you mean like the idea that all witches are women, or something?”

“In Asgard, men fight. Preferably with large and fearsome weapons…”

“Overcompensating for small dicks, so?”

Loki choked; then he started laughing; and then Tony got thrown off of the sofa because Loki was laughing so hard.

Tony glared up at him from the floor, and stood up.

“Thor never said anything bad about magic, just that you were a powerful wizard, and I know your illusions messed us up more than once… you’re telling me they think that’s sissy stuff?”

The mention of Thor’s name seemed to have blunted some of Loki’s amusement, but not all of it. He sat up.

“It’s… considered dishonorable for a man to fight with such things: daggers and illusions and tricks…“ Loki looked at him as if he were expecting Tony to… _He’s expecting you to diss him, because his people did…_

Tony shrugged carefully. “It works, doesn’t it? And dishonorable? I could sure say a few things you’ve done are not very honorable, but it wasn’t about HOW you did it, it was what you did.”

Loki looked relieved. “Come here, sit with me?”

Tony was a bit concerned but… he asked. _He asked, not ordered; damn, something is really bugging him._ Tony re-joined him on the couch, sitting this time.

“Your comment on my manhood would have outraged me beyond words… before.   However, some time ago I angered Odin, again, on a matter involving the dissolution of my marriage, and… what he felt was inappropriate attentions.”

Tony hadn’t meant to interrupt but, “You were married?”

“Hmm? Oh, yes. A political arrangement, it was... peculiar. And the politics best left to another time.”

“Oh, right, sorry… just... didn’t know that.”

“In any event there was an… unfortunate… incident involving myself, and …Thor… and several other people. It was ‘damaging to the reputation of our house’. Odin had us both punished, and several of the others. I don’t know what punishment the great oaf received, probably not much, but I was… you might say caned? Hit with a switch. Which sounds like a punishment for a child... but it isn’t.”

Tony was beginning to get a very bad feeling about this. No scratch that, he was past having a bad feeling about this.

Loki pulled Tony onto his lap. “As you said, you can tell my interest…”

Tony could tell all right, he was sitting on it. “Yeah.“ Tony found himself rocking back and forth on Loki’s ‘interest’ .

“For several years after that punishment you would not have.”

Tony stared at Loki in shock. Loki looked… angry. No... Loki looked like he was humiliated, and that was making him angry. Tony understood that.

“I... I was just...” Tony took a breath, “Loki, you were terrifying me. When I’m scared I tend to… um... talk.”

Loki laughed, and it only had a tiny bit of ‘I am going to kill you slowly’ in it, “YOU, my pet, tend to talk no matter what.” Loki looked off away from Tony. “It took me several years before… before I could. Even after that, it takes me a great deal more than it once did to... find release.“

Tony couldn’t think of anything to say so he just leaned in to Loki’s chest. He’d pretty well figured out that Asgard wasn’t the rainbow sparkly unicorn land that Thor had painted it before , and no way do you get a guy like Loki from the ‘perfect brothers relationship’ Thor described. But he had never even once imagined anything like that.

Tony wanted to get Loki’s mind off his problems, and he certainly had his ‘interest’ up. _I think I know just how to get your mind off your problems, and solve a few of mine at the same time._

“You… certainly don’t seem to have any trouble that I see.“ Tony moved and felt Loki pressed up against exactly the right place. “Mmmmm.” _No problem getting hard now, anyway_.

Loki seemed to enjoy the moan. He grabbed Tony’s hands and captured them behind his back. “Oh, I can now, pet; I have been able to for some while. I am no longer incapable, but I think you need more time to prepare, and more focus.”

_If he didn’t stop saying ‘focus’…._

Tony raised himself up in Loki’s lap and grinned at him. Loki’s cock, released from the weight holding it down, certainly didn’t seem lacking in interest…

“I take... more time.” Loki looked annoyed at him. “My stamina is already far more than yours, Anthony… You would be hurt, and not in a way you would enjoy.”

“Oh yeah? You don’t know me very well.” Then Tony forced himself down onto Loki with one sudden movement.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tony is an idiot.  
> Tony is a painslut adrenaline junkie idiot.  
> also this is intruding onto LOKI's Stated limits.


	37. Crystal Clear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony's POV  
> subspace

The first few moments had been mostly Loki yelling at him, but he didn’t care. He’d been going crazy, wondering why... why Loki never... did… anything. It had been wonderful, Loki had been wonderful, but his addiction was screaming underneath his skin. It just needed more: more pain; more craziness; more.

 _God, he was long and slim everywhere_. This was too much, it hurt, he needed the pain, but it hurt and he hadn’t done this in too long, it was too much and… it hurt… and he was almost….

His head snapped back as the endorphins hit him just like flooring the accelerator in his fastest car. Pain fell away like it was burning. He needed more, dear god he needed more… His skin was on fire, he was impaled, and the most dangerous green eyes in the world were looking at him in fury and lust.

Loki’s arms wrapped around him and pulled him in as if the seatbelt had locked. He was blazing and burning and his only thought was _more!_ He thought he heard an engine whine as it red lined, but it was just the noise he made through locked teeth. He drove himself further onto Loki.

Something was tracing the curves and cuts on his skin as if they were road maps. He pulled himself away and up and drove himself back down.   Tony barely registered any of the sounds he was hearing as words anymore. It was pure sensation and he was kicking in everything he had to keep going. Black spots danced in front of his eyes like they did when he took a turn too fast, and he growled and sank his teeth into Loki’s shoulder and willed himself to hang on.

Heat flared in the base of his spine as the adrenaline kicked in like a shot of nitrous oxide. His body spasmed and he could finally stop thinking and it was all so crystal clear… and time… stopped.

He was floating in that familiar haze, the place where nothing hurt and nothing mattered and he turned his thoughts over slowly and looked at them without concern.   _The calculations for the dimensional stabilizers were wrong,_ he could see that now, and _the arc reactor could be improved by a few more percent so easily. Loki was afraid of being punished for acting incorrectly in the invasion, which meant he wasn’t the general at all, just another pawn- of something that was unknown and malevolent._ _My father was a broken man looking for redemption and unable to approve of his son, who so resembled him, because, after all, he hated himself. The Avengers need me, but don’t understand me, and how could they when I never trusted any of them with the truth. The suit was such a pale pale imitation of the drug I was after._

Then his body was spasming again, and his mind fell from the crystalline thoughts into a warm nothing.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so for the first time since this started we get Tony's POV on overload.  
> I am not saying every time was like this, it wasn't.... but he's been here before.
> 
> next chapter is, more or less, Loki's POV on the same chapter. since both chapters are short, i should be able to load that tonight.


	38. Crystal Clear-Loki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki's POV on Chapter 37

Loki had been talking to Anthony. He had, of course, expected that such an intelligent creature would… notice. He had been so intensely uncomfortable discussing it that he had not even begun to realize what Anthony was about to do until he did.

He had been enjoying his poet rocking gently on him; it was certainly pleasant, but if Anthony thought that would distract him he was sadly mistaken; of course, it did seem to be distracting Anthony. _Perhaps I should take him off my lap for this?_ _Ah, good, he seems to be doing that himself._

“Oh yeah? You don’t know me very well,” Anthony had said and suddenly forced himself down onto Loki.

Loki gasped. He’d been wanting this, but Anthony was so damned fragile… “You IDIOT! Get off me!”

Anthony just gave him the most sexually charged look Loki had ever seen- ever, and he included this weekend - and started pushing himself further down.

Loki fought with his own desires and tried to stop. He tried threatening him. He tried to pull Anthony off. He quickly realized that Anthony would be severely damaged before he could accomplish that. As it was, he was going to show bruises. _It had been so long, and this felt so good…._

His arms locked around Anthony of their own accord. “Hækkaði, this… will... damage... you… idiot!”

Loki gave in.   He hoped he could stop once Anthony collapsed _. It felt so good; it had been so long…._

He was cursing himself for a fool. Anthony could have safely done more with his mouth, but this was heaven, and his poet made the most beautiful noises….

Anthony had Loki completely inside him. _He’s so small, I hadn’t thought I could!_ Loki could see his pet beginning to collapse, he would stop… somehow… then Anthony leaned forward and sank his teeth into Loki’s shoulder.

Loki loved being bitten. He couldn’t stop, Anthony would be hurt, but right now Loki didn’t care because _His teeth are in my shoulder and I’m in him and I haven’t felt this good since before…._

When Anthony came the first time Loki didn’t realize it. _It felt so good, he was so tight_ , and Loki couldn’t stop.   He was almost there, and this was better and his poet was perfect and he….

 

Loki was coming back to himself when he realized Anthony was limp in his arms _. I’ve killed him! No... he’s breathing… he’s… cumming? … again... but he’s breathing._

Loki carefully removed Anthony, and moved him to the bed. That took a while; Loki’s legs weren’t working well. “Jarvis!” he managed to rasp out before he collapsed on the bed next to the most infuriating, precious being in the universe.

“Yes, Mr. Laufeyson?” Jarvis’ voice was exactly as it always was: perfectly calm and polite _. How could servants DO that?_

“Is… is he damaged?” Loki remembered they had a hospital in the building.

“Not excessively, Mr. Laufeyson, although I believe his ribs may be broken. Mr. Stark’s speed healing pack may be of use.”

With a great deal of instruction from Jarvis, Loki got the pack onto him. He sat down on, or rather collapsed onto, the seat next to the bed.

“I’d kill you, but you would enjoy it too much!” he snarled at Anthony’s unconscious form.

“You are not the first person to express such sentiments,” said Jarvis drily.

“Does he need a… doctor?”

“Very likely, Mr. Laufeyson, but I doubt he will accede to one.” There was a pause. “Once he regains consciousness, I will be able to suggest that he call an associate who has assisted him on previous occassions.”

“He will be… alright… for now?”

“I believe so, Mr. Laufeyson.”

Loki tried to regain his composure and restrain himself from throttling some sense into Anthony. His pet clearly needed more discipline than he imagined, but he wasn’t going to be able to NOT kill him if he tried it right now.

He found a pad of paper and a pen, and wrote a note. “Jarvis, tell him to read this when he wakes up.”

“Certainly, Mr. Laufeyson.”

Loki got dressed- for the first time since Friday, he realized- and walked out of the bedroom. He stared at the bar: he studied the variety and quantity of liquors that Anthony kept on hand; then a slow, wicked smile spread across his face.

“Do you have any boxes, Jarvis?”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> seriously? LOKI is having to be the sane one here?
> 
> Tony should be very grateful that Ms. Vivienne (over) sold the fragility of mere mortals to Loki, otherwise Loki would have tried to discipline his wayward pet while he was still upset.  
> it may also help that Loki is sort of mellow right now.
> 
> he I still a trickster, however.


	39. A dry hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony wakes up the next morning

Tony woke up hurting all over. _That had been incredible._ He suddenly realized he was alone in the bed. The bathroom door was open, _not there…_

_Great going Tony, you scared him off._

He could feel crushing depression gathering, when Jarvis spoke up: “Mr. Laufeyson left you a note, sir; he requested that I inform you when you awoke.”

_A note? I never thought he was the sort to dump me in a note._

The note was on the bedside table, under the gag. Tony wondered if THAT was a message.

 

‘Anthony,

You could have been seriously hurt. We are going to have words about this.

L’

 

Tony blinked a few times… then he smiled _. If we are ‘going to have words’, then he didn’t dump me…_

Tony took a quick shower in an incredibly cheerful mood. He was thinking about arc reactors as he washed up and toweled off.

_Arc reactor 5-X6C % ratios… have to order in more palladium and maybe some ….and WOW those are some bad bruises!_

Tony whistled as he stared at himself in the mirror. _Damn_. The cuts were bad enough, no way were those accidental. He turned in the mirror, looking at himself. _Loki had a hell of a hand, those curves were precise._ He spent some long moments staring at  his back in the mirror and thanking everything Jarvis had this recorded. The bruises, though… If there hadn’t been the cuts he could have claimed a lab accident for most of them, but with the cuts? _Turtlenecks for the rest of the week_. He got dressed.

_Dimensional stability could be improved now that the co-efficient could…. and they would need testing room… might be able to rig up a sensor…._

Tony wandered out to the bar and took a tumbler from the rack. He reached out a hand for a bottle and… where was his bottle? Tony finally looked at the bar. Where were ANY of his bottles?! Empty, every last spot was empty. Plenty of glassware, lots of mixers, ice, lemons, the works, but no BOOZE!

‘Ding’

The elevator door opened and Bruce walked in. He frowned, seeing Tony at the bar, and then he looked again. A smile spread over his face. “Tony? You actually got rid of the alcohol?”

Tony cursed Loki to an endlessly dry hell, and pasted a sheepish smile on his face. “Yeah, figured if I was going to try to do without I’d better clean up a bit… I just don’t know what to drink without, you know, any booze.”

Bruce dragged him out, babbling happily about Tony’s health. “Let’s get you some healthy options then!”

_I am going to get you for this, Loki._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated notes.
> 
> There are some very painful chapters coming up.  
> Some funny ones too...
> 
> Trust me, but brace yourselves for some hard chapters.


	40. put some pepper on it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony and Pepper have a talk.

Once he got home with a disgusting array of fruit juices and healthy snacks, Jarvis suggested he call Dani, which seemed as reasonable an option as any. Unfortunately, Dani couldn’t come over until Tuesday night.

Tony glared at the bottles of not-booze where his booze should be.

‘ding’

He turned to face the elevator. “Forget something, Bruce, because I’m not…” _Oh shit, it’s Pepper._

He forced a casual tone: “Hi, Pep. Thought you were sticking strictly to CEO stuff. What’s up?”

“Bruce told me you got rid of all your…” she trailed off and stared at the bar: at the fruit juices and cream soda; at the big bowl of fruit; at the bottles of distinctly nonalcoholic sparkling cider.

“Well, yeah, I can’t not drink, or even just cut back, with a whole bar here…” he coughed. “Then Bruce decided to ‘help’, and I got all this… stuff. ” He glared at it again. “I mean in the lab, sure, I always have healthy stuff in the lab…”

Pepper walked over and put a hand on the side of his face. It didn’t hurt as bad as he thought it would to have her touch him again. He balled his hands up to keep from reaching out and running his hands through her hair.

“Please don’t, Pep.”

She dropped her hand. “I’m glad. About the bar… I was getting really scared, Tony.”

“Yeah well, its fine. As fine as it can be.”

She started talking to him about business matters, and his chest stopped hurting as much. They went over a lot. He told her to buy some new property, a long way from everything, for a new testing lab. She went over some idiotic PR nonsense.

After a few minutes he walked over to the bar. “Want some... uh… root beer? Apparently Bruce likes root beer; who knew?”

“Sure.”

He came over with two glasses of root beer and handed her one. He was turning to sit down when she grabbed his hand.

“Jesus, Pep, what?!” He lost his balance and spilled some of his drink. He looked back at Pepper and froze. She was holding his hand and staring at the ring of bruises around his wrist. She pushed his sleeve back, exposing the fine tracery of Loki’s knife work.

“Tony…”

He yanked his hand away and pulled down his sleeve. He sat down with what remained of his root beer. “Not your problem, Pep, not anymore.”

She looked aghast at him. “Oh Tony, oh no… not again, it’s not safe!”

“Ok, great, Pep, it’s not safe… your point?”

“You promised!”

“So did you.” He said coldly.

She looked like she’d been slapped. “Tony, I couldn’t…”

He cut her off, “We’ve been over this before: You can’t handle what I do, what I need, and you’re the only person I can trust to run the company, especially with S.H.I.E.L.D. and the government looking for any excuse. It all makes sense, yeah I know. I managed to do without while we were together, Pep, but I’m not sure how much longer I could have gone anyway.”

“Tony, you need a therapist, this isn’t healthy.”

“Like the last one?” he snarled. She had the good grace to wince; that had been expensive to shut up.

“Maybe I need a therapist, but this is all I’ve got.”

Pepper pulled herself together. _She looked so damned regal_. Tony once again mourned the fact that she couldn’t handle his kinks.

“Have… have you talked to a doctor? Bruce?”

“I called Dani…”

“This… this new girl, get me her name; I can run a discreet check on her.”

Tony sighed, “It’s a guy this time, and... I don’t want you involved, Pep. You can’t cope.” _Especially since I am NOT telling you who it is._

Pepper looked down at her root beer and computer pad.

“Someone has to.”

“I’ve got it covered, Pep.”

“No, no you don’t.   If you knew you would be telling me about their clean security check. Either they haven’t had one at all, or they flunked and you’re doing this anyway. It’s the risk, Tony; you keep chasing bigger and bigger risks.“ She gathered up her things and   headed for the door. Tony was pretty sure she was crying, but he knew better than to say anything.

“I’ll be ok, Pepper… I always am.”

“No, no you’re not, and you never are.” She said over her shoulder.

She didn’t turn around until after the elevator doors closed.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so...  
> Yeah, as you may have surmised from Tony's earlier thoughts "pepper was right, this is sick" etc... Pepper is well aware of Tony's type of play.  
> and she isnt into it.  
> Pepper thinks he chases high risk, adrenaline, life and death situations (she's right) and she wants him to stop, or at least be safe.  
> BEFORE they were together, Pepper had to pick up the pieces after a few of his dates.
> 
> "I managed to do without while we were together, Pep, but I’m not sure how much longer I could have gone anyway.”  
> and there you have the reason why Tony was JUST SO EASY for Loki.
> 
> When a type of sexual interest/kink is a huge part of your sex drive, denying it just makes it get ... worse.  
> He was doing without the BDSM while they were together, because Pepper most emphatically isnt into his kink. she wants to take care of him and keep him safe.  
> he wants anything but.  
> they COULD have come up with a workable compromise, MAYBE, but its tough when one person thinks the hardcore S&M kink is "sick".
> 
> (I've seen more than one relationship blow to smithereens over this)
> 
> EDITED TO ADD:  
> Please note: Tony's behavior is UN safe... that doesnt mean you cannot be SAFE with his specific interests, you can. he isn't.   
> A person with hardcore BDSM interests, dating someone who thinks that is inherently sick, or unsafe, is ...not good for either of them.


	41. Orders

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony's POV  
> Introducing Dani

Tony made it through the rest of Monday, barely. He wanted a drink so badly, but, every time he tried to go anywhere but his lab, he kept running into Avengers who kept ‘congratulating’ him on sticking with his resolutions. If this kept up he was going to punch someone just to start a diversion.

He went to bed early on Monday and got up before even Steve would be awake on Tuesday. If he left RIGHT NOW he could get out of here without anyone seeing him, and find something to drink somewhere. _Am I really that desperate for a drink?_ Well, maybe he wouldn’t get any booze, but... yeah, just getting away from everyone for a bit…

He was dressing to go out when Jarvis interrupted. “You have a message, sir.”

“Later, Jarvis.”

“It’s from Mr. Laufeyson, Sir.”

Tony spun on his heel and came back to the table. He opened up his pad and checked… yeah, there was a god damned email. Tony started a trace program running before he even opened it.

 

‘Anthony,

you have an insufficiency of restraint points in your apartment, and a distinct lack of restraints. Correct this.

L’

 

Tony got hot just reading that.

The trace program reported that the e-mail had been sent from an internet café in New York City, very close by. _Probably just to taunt me._

Tony spent the rest of Tuesday morning looking at and ordering bondage gear, imagining what Loki could do to him with it, and trying to rehydrate.

Over lunch he started considering the matter of restraint points. Tony could see several places to PUT them but… _you don’t want other people to see them._ Tony started working on the problem; with the end result that he was taking apart one of his walls when Jarvis told him Dani had arrived.

“Dani! Come in, man! Have a drink!”

Dani pursed his lips and cooed UP at Tony, “Oh snuggums, you know I don’t drink,” Dani purred in his soft New Orleans patois. Tony loved having someone shorter than him around, and Dani was a riot.

“No worries my man, I am on the wagon, like it or not. It’s all booze free.”

Dani looked over at the bar and his mouth dropped open. He somehow made that look like an invitation. Tony laughed. Dani was the exact OPPOSITE of his type.

“Sugar daddy, you? Seriously? Ok, come sit down and tell Baby all about it.” Dani sat down and patted the sofa next to him.

Tony grinned. “You wouldn’t sit there if you knew what I’d been doing there.”

Dani placed a hand dramatically over his heart, “Oh, no… no, tell me you aren’t cheating on me… or tell me he has a brother, or is into threesomes…”

Tony sighed. “I need some professional time Dani.”

“So it is a he?”

“Yeah.” Tony couldn’t help but smile. “He. Tall, dark hair, green eyes… great hands…”

“Oh NOW you just teasing me.” Dani mock pouted. He crossed his left leg over his right knee and folded both hands on top. “So? Dish.”

“I… kind of got crazy on him.” Tony sighed. “Luckily, I didn’t scare him off, but…”

“You didn’t? Damn… You sure he doesn’t have a brother?”

Tony laughed himself almost sick as he thought about introducing DANI to Thor. “Yeah, he does, but bad idea man, the guy is touchy as hell and straight. Probably thinks his little brother is too.”

“Oh ho” Dani pursed his lips. “The plot thickens… so? How bad?”

“The broken ribs were an accident, but they’ll be ok; that’s why I have this thing on. The knife work… aw, hell, Dani, it’s beautiful. Seriously. He took really awesome care to treat everything too…”

“I’ll fight you for him, sweetie; loan me some money and I’ll take him out to dinner.” Dani smirked at him. “So, strip, beautiful... Let’s have a look see.”

“Jarvis.”

“Yes, Sir.”

“No Calls.”

“Are you certain, Sir?”

“Absolutely.”

Tony nodded at Dani and took him into the bedroom.

Tony stripped. Dani made the usual lewd remarks when he started but stopped before Tony got his pants off. From the pursed-lip admiration on Dani’s face, Tony could tell he admired the work.

After Tony was completely nude, Dani walked around him and whistled. “Oh, Daddy… You were not kidding me… that’s ART… but those bruises look like hell.”

Dani picked up his bag. “Internal check, I assume, or you wouldn’t have called me.”

Tony made a face, “Yeah I kind of forced myself on him.”

“Kind of? Sugar you don’t DO ‘kind of’. What happened?”

Dani waved at him, “Assume the position, Honey buns.” He did.

Tony always felt weird talking to someone with a view scope up his ass, but… “He was upset about some stuff in his background, seemed to be of the opinion that all he was going to be able to do was… you know… mmph…” Tony hated exams. “Hands and knife work? So… he was all up and ready to go and I went for a ride.”

“Dry? If you don’t have any consideration for your OWN ass, sweet cheeks, how about him? “

Tony winced, and only part of that was the exam.

“Don’t make me staple a tube of lube to your back, snuggums, because I will.”

“So? How am I?”

“No horseback riding for a few days, and don’t see your boy before, say, Thursday, and you’ll be ok. Don’t do that again, though, or Baby here may have to swipe him from you for his own safety…”

Dani told him to stay put and started treating a few things. “Now, what’s this about you being on the wagon, finally?”

“My... boyfriend. Apparently while I was unconscious he packed up all my booze. He’d said he didn’t want me drinking…” Tony glared at Dani because Dani was laughing his fool ass clean off.

“Oh, you got a GOOD one.”

Tony grinned. “Oddly enough, yeah. Maybe I do.”

Dani finished and let him up. “Now I am not even going to have to tell you that you need to see his clean blood test, and that if you don’t get one you need to have ALREADY come down to the clinic for some post exposure drugs, right?”

“It’s cool,” Tony smiled down at him.

Dani shook his head, “Sweetie, I hear that every day, usually from guys that have a full blown case already. Don’t take that risk; it’s not one of the fun ones.”

“My infirmary has the fast blood test; you know that.”

“It’s like you and safe words, sweetheart: it don’t do you any good if you don’t use it.”

Tony dressed and told Jarvis to re-open the communication links.

Within minutes the elevator dinged.

“What? Do you have nothing better to DO?” Tony stared incredulously at Bruce coming off the elevator.

Bruce was looking uncertainly at Dani. Tony suddenly realized that Bruce was seeing… Dani. Effeminate, adorable, short, swishy, over the top, pastel-colored DANI in his apartment and … Tony started laughing.

When he could speak again, he said, “Bruce, this is Dani. Dani is one of my most trusted friends. Dani this is my science bro, Bruce… Dr. Banner.”

Dani came up to Bruce and put a hand on his chest, “Ooooh… what a big… BRUCE you are.”

Bruce looked stunned and embarrassed. Tony fell over laughing again.

Dani took a bit of pity on Bruce. “I’m Dani. I run a string of clinics here in New York City. Tony funds them. Are you a medical doctor?”

Bruce glared at Tony and then answered, “Kind of. I have a lot of medical knowledge, although I’m not an MD… I work with medical teams in Africa and India a lot, though.”

“Really? My friend Celeste works out that way, Dr. Jhermaine?”

Tony interrupted, “Hey, why don’t you two go have a bonding date over some coffee and the infirmary, I have work to do. Dani? Tell me how much to get the 3rd clinic repaired again to city specs and I’ll have the money in the bank by the next morning.”

“You’re an angel, sugar daddy…” Dani waved at Tony, took Bruce by the arm, and walked off into the elevator talking HIV transmission rates …

Tony grinned, shook his head, and went back to work. He tried to ignore how badly his hands were shaking.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dani is an original Character of mine. Dani is based loosely on a composite of several people i know, or have known, so if you think its you? nope.
> 
> That said....  
> just to be clear, there is absolutely NOTHING between Tony and Dani. as Tony said, Dani is like the polar oppsite of being his type. They are, however, very very good friends, and Dani is one of the few people Tony trusts with details of his actual sexual interests.


	42. The talents of Midgard- Loki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki goes shopping and discoverers the specialties and talents of Midgard.

Loki woke up in his apartment late on Monday morning. After finishing his meditations, he came out of his bedroom and stared at the array of piled up boxes. Anthony had certainly had more alcohol than he had expected. Fortunately, he had thought to ask Jarvis for the location of any remaining alcohol, or he likely would have missed half of it.

 _Whatever am I going to do with it all?_ Loki wondered. _It takes up too much room to leave it here_.

He made himself a cup of tea and sat down at his computer. _Infuriating_. He was beginning to think he hadn’t paid enough attention to Ms. Vivienne’s warnings about Anthony’s unsafe behavior. He sent off a quick email to Ms. Vivienne asking to meet. He went back to his research.

Several hours later, he received a reply: ‘Have you read those books yet?’

 _Oh, right. The books._ She had given him a suggested reading list and several places in the city to buy them. He’d purchased one of them when he picked up the gag. Well, he had to go out for other reasons…

When he came home that evening he had a small number of books, a small number of new toys, and a significant wish list.  Loki was rapidly reevaluating everything about this planet. Vanaheim had their specialties, Aelfheim had theirs, and apparently Midgard specialized in sex. Even in the most debauched corners of the other realms he had visited -and he had visited quite a few- he hadn’t seen anything to rival his shopping trip today. When you combined what he had found today in his shopping trip, with what he had already seen on the internet, he wondered how they found the time to do anything else.

After reading through a few of the books, he wondered why they BOTHERED to do anything else.

 _Oh, Anthony would look so delicious bound like that_. Loki was mentally replacing each of the models in a rope bondage book with his poet. _That looks like it takes practice though_ … _hmmm_ … the knots looked like knots he already knew, but…

He sent another email to Ms. Vivienne assuring her that he was reading the books, and casually asking if there was anywhere to learn how to properly apply some of the more ornate rope bondage depicted.

When he went to sleep that night, he dreamed of his Anthony again. He woke early with a difficulty he hadn’t been in in some years. _Damn him, how had he gotten under my skin so fast!_ After spending some time in the shower, using his hands and fantasizing about Anthony, he stalked off to make tea.

 _Well if he was going to be such a distraction, Anthony could at least provide some of the toys_ , he decided. Loki dressed, walked out of the building, and went to the internet café on the other side of the park. He sent Anthony a terse email telling him to deal with the lack of restraints and such. _At this rate I won’t last to Friday…_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Given that porn and sex have driven scientific and cultural development for millennia... he isn't far wrong.
> 
> rope bondage is really pretty looking, even if its not your thing.
> 
> since this is an ultra short chapter i will try to update again this evening.


	43. Progress report - Loki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki's POV.  
> Wednesday Knit night, and consultation with Ms. Viviene

After storing most of the boxes of Anthony’s alcohol, and gifting a few bottles to various contacts of his, Loki tried to get back to business. His mind kept wandering, when his attentions were not fully occupied, to how he was going to manage Anthony. Anthony desperately needed discipline; that had become obvious. What he began to consider was that Anthony was also in desperate need of attention.

 _Indeed better to be hated, than ignored_. Loki winced and forced himself to look deeply at his own thoughts. _We are too much alike in some ways…_

He would not wish to make mistakes in disciplining his darling poet. He wanted him tamed a bit, but not to take the fire from him. _And when did I decide that…._ He would have to speak about proper discipline with his consultant. Immediately.

Loki arranged to meet with Ms. Vivienne on Wednesday, directly after knit night, since she planned to be there. Eric/Loki arrived with Sarah, as before, and other than a slightly different mix of attendees it was much the same.

The security personnel of K.N.I.T. –as Loki couldn’t help but think of them- were displeased that he did not have a password, err, knitting project, to show them. Eric/Loki sheepishly pled a busy week and difficulty casting on. He idly wondered, as he was dragged off to a table and ordered to ‘show them his cast on’, if S.H.I.E.L.D. would be easier to infiltrate; he suspected it might be.

Carol, the bland and boring shell that Ms. Vivienne hid behind, arrived late. Loki decided that she was the secret head of K.N.I.T., and obviously the forces of F.R.O.G. were supposed to overlook her and be surprised in the last scene of the movie. A stern throat clearing made him put his attention back on his knitting. He was rewarded with an approving noise after a while.   Sarah wandered by, beamed at him, and told him he’d be up to hats in no time.

Eric/Loki decided that he actually liked knitting. Not that he’d admit it, but knitting reminded him of magic: there was structure, and patterns, and a remarkable number of ways to achieve the same ends. No wonder women practiced it.

By the time knit night broke up, Eric/Loki had made significant progress on his scarf.

Carol took him to the smaller room they had spoken in before. “Taken up an interest in string, have you?” she smiled, the wicked look cracking Carol’s bland façade.

Loki looked down at the scarf. “It’s... interesting.”

Carol pulled a book on rope bondage out of her bag. “It’s addictive, and very attractive.” Loki hadn’t seen this book; it wasn’t the one he had purchased. She opened it up to a well-worn page, and Loki gasped. There was a picture of a man suspended by some of the most artfully tied ropes Loki had ever imagined.   He was completely helpless, suspended in midair and accessible from any angle. Loki had a momentary flash of insight into his pet’s difficulties with focus as his breathing quickened and certain items of clothing became far too tight.

“I. Certainly… can see the appeal.” Loki cleared his throat.

“IF you are seriously interested, there is a seminar –a class- on rope bondage in a few weeks. It’s already sold out, but I know the instructor and I could get you tickets.”

Loki was fairly certain that his pretense of nonchalance wasn’t fooling her as he handed over the ticket money.

“So… I assume from your emails that your ‘date’ went well?” she asked.

“An urgent request to discuss matters is ‘went well’?” Loki looked very confused at her.

“Let’s see, shall we: no reports of explosions; no reports of Tony Stark being hospitalized or dead; and no Avengers looking for revenge. So far that alone would be a fairly good result, given the circumstances…”

Loki snorted. “I told you I could get to him, and I TOLD you he was interested.”

“You also wouldn’t have waited until after the weekend to send an ‘urgent’ request unless your Friday night date went overtime…”

Loki had to admit that was true; of course, the grin might have given it away too.

Loki explained at least some of what had happened. When he got to Anthony forcing himself on him, she just shook her head.

“I warned you: he has no sense of self-preservation when he gets going. I spoke to one of my older friends in the scene, and it sounds like it’s worse than I thought. He’s apparently into asphyxiation as well, and with his track record it’s a miracle he’s not…” she trailed off staring at him.

“Err… is… that a problem?”

Carol developed Ms. Vivienne’s posture and took a deep breath. She smiled in EXACTLY the same fashion his mother smiled in when she was dealing with a particularly drunken ambassador. Loki suddenly felt like he was three hundred again. “Right, it’s a problem…” Loki said sheepishly. “Can you explain why? I rather liked the results…”

“It’s not a problem _per se_ ,“ Ms. Vivienne said tensely, “The problem is that since he seems unable to take care of his own safety, it’s entirely dependent on you to safeguard him.“ She pinched the bridge of her nose, “and you are still learning.”

“Ah, you think I might misjudge?”

“I think it would be very easy to, yes. If you are going to play those games be very careful.”

They spent several hours talking and going over questions. Now that he had played with Anthony, he knew more questions to ask, and had a better grasp of some of the issues. It made this session far more productive than the first one.

Ms. Vivienne handed him a small invitation as a last thing before they left and the bar closed for the night.

“What’s this?”

“A play party: a get together for masters and their slaves; it’s run by an associate of mine. I suspect they may know Mr. Stark, but since all I could tell them was that I had a new student, I couldn’t mention who might attend. This would be a relaxed event, and if you wanted to you -well Eric- could attend. Even if they know Tony Stark, no one at this event would breathe a word to outsiders.”

Loki turned the card over in his hand. “I will consider it…”

“Do. It would give you a chance to see other couples interact.“ She looked very seriously at him. “I’m trying to help, Eric. You are evidently working very hard at this, and I suspect, based on hearing more about Tony Stark, that having a full-time master may be what it takes to keep him alive.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> better to be hated than ignored.  
> there are a LOT of children who act out because its the only attention they get, and a lot of adults. If you can NEVER measure up in your parents eyes (captain America v Tony Stark or Thor v Loki) then the only way left to get attention is to rebel, to push.
> 
> both Loki and Tony have this issue. They dealt with it in different ways, but there it is.


	44. Delirium

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony's Pov, more or less

 

Tony woke up early Wednesday morning and barely made it to the bathroom in time. After he finished puking his guts up, he tried to go back to bed.

…

There were Chitauri warriors trying to drag him off.

…

He was in the hospital: the smell was distinctive. For some reason, everyone was wearing clown masks. One of them had little tears painted on her face. Then the face paint dissolved into Pepper, crying.

…

He hated that beeping noise.

…

Natasha was saying “…but those are cuff marks...”

….

He woke up screaming: they were going to drown him, and his battery was wet… they held him down, and he heard one of the terrorists say, “More diazepam”.

….

Bruce was talking -had been for some time- mostly apologizing. “…I didn’t know, Tony, I’d never dealt with it, I thought you could just quit…”

…

He really, REALLY hated that beeping noise.

…

“Anthony? Hvað er að? Hvað ertu að gera hér?” Then a hand was on his forehead, and everything went cool and green.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, but this - or some thing like this- was inevitable.  
> take a deep breath and hang on


	45. Spirit of the law - Loki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Friday afternoon  
> Loki' POV

 

Loki arrived at the penthouse on Friday afternoon, much earlier than he had originally intended. He made himself visible on the balcony and waited. Loki had a very uneasy feeling; there was no music playing, no sound at all.

“Jarvis?” he called.

“Yes, Mr. Laufeyson?”

“Is Anthony not here?”

“Mr. Stark is in the infirmary, Mr. Laufeyson, and unable to entertain.”

“What?! What happened?!”

“That information has not been released, Mr. Laufeyson.”

Loki’s mind spun. _Fire burn the man! If he is seriously hurt I am going to murder him_. He entered the apartment and the weapons suddenly appeared.

“Mr. Stark cannot entertain at this time, Mr. Laufeyson.”

Loki took a deep breath and prayed that his words would serve him well enough: “Jarvis… Anthony made a formal offer of hospitality to me. Do you understand what that means?”

“I believe so, Mr. Laufeyson, I assisted him in the research.”

“Then you understand that, as his guest, I am obliged to assist him?”

There was a pause; then, “Yes, Mr. Laufeyson, that was stated.”

“I cannot assist him from here. I might be able to assist him if I can get to him.” Loki waited, nearly holding his breath.

“I would not normally change your access status without Mr. Stark’s approval; however, I believe this qualifies as an emergency.” The weapons retreated to their hidden positions and the elevator door opened. “This way please, Mr. Laufeyson.”

“Can you get me to Anthony?”

“When the rear of the elevator opens, Mr. Laufeyson, you will be in the access corridors. Follow the lights and you will arrive in the service access for Mr. Stark’s infirmary room.”

“Thank you, Jarvis. Please do what you can to keep the others busy.”

Loki wondered if he was imagining the devious tone in Jarvis’ voice: “I believe I should be able to do that, Mr. Laufeyson.”

Loki moved quickly out the back of the elevator, following the lights through tunnels lined with cables and equipment, into the infirmary. There was a single figure in one of the beds, with a terrifying array of equipment and a monitor making irregular beeping noises. There were two people in medical clothing standing watch.

Loki cursed quietly. They were likely supposed to be here, and killing them would violate hospitality unless he was very careful. He prepared a seeming of a bland person in medical scrubs. He was about to say SOMETHING to the watchers when there were suddenly alarms.

Had Jarvis decided to report him!? No… apparently there was a small fire in the other medical room. Loki smiled. _Brilliant, Jarvis._ He leaned on his words with magic as he assured the two that he would stay with Mr. Stark while they dealt with the alarms.

“Anthony?” He looked horrified at the array of tubes and fluids running into a barely recognizable Tony Stark. “Hvað er að? Hvað ertu að gera hér?” He placed his hand on his Anthony’s forehead, and was aghast: Anthony was dying.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jarvis was programmed by Tony Stark. he has more than a few tricks up his sleeve.  
> There are a number of things that have more leeway if Tony is incapacitated. In this case a good thing.


	46. Mine - Loki

Anthony was dying. Anthony was dying and Loki didn’t even understand WHY he was dying. This was going to take far more power than he should really expend…

 _This is a waste of time and power_ , a part of him snarled. _So? He dies and you find another._

 _You will never find another_ , whispered another part of himself.

He made a decision.

Loki took out the ritual knife he had charged with Anthony’s blood and semen. He pulled the sheets from Anthony’s body and crouched down to his ear.

“Elskan skáld mín, can you hear me?”

Anthony’s eyelids fluttered.

“You said you would be mine, gæludýr minn , hold to that thought. Focus and breathe, and hold to that thought… You are MINE. Do you understand? Focus… Focus on the knife… and on breathing… and the fact that you are mine.”

Loki prayed it would be enough. The illusions he was cloaked in vanished as he marshaled all the power he could spare.

He touched the blade to Anthony’s skin in the only place he could easily reach. Loki almost fainted in relief when the magics of the blade flared. He had Anthony’s consent, at least enough with a charged blade.

He carved quickly, trying not to go too deeply; Anthony moaned.

Loki steeled himself and cut a matching rune in his own arm.

“What the HELL are you doing here?!” Dr. Banner stood horrified in the doorway.

Loki cursed whatever fate had brought the creature here, now.

“Saving his life.” He said as he touched his bleeding arm to Anthony’s bleeding chest.

There was a flare of green light behind Loki’s eyes, then darkness.

 


	47. Tony wakes up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony wakes up. (Just what it says on the box)

 

Tony woke up: that damnable beeping noise was worse; the lights were too bright; and his throat was burning. He had a sudden memory of waking up in a hospital in Malibu, and realized he had been intubated. He sat up. There was a blurry figure in front of him. They tried to stop him as he began pulling out his tubing.

“Tony? Tony! Calm down! Please God…”

_That was Bruce. What was Bruce doing in Malibu? Wait, I’m not in Malibu, I’m in New York…_

He got the tubing out of his throat, and focused on the figure in front of him: _it WAS Bruce_. Bruce was staring at the monitors in shock.

Tony coughed, hard, and hoarsely said, “Bruce? What the hell’s going on?”

Bruce tracked back to Tony, and said shakily, “You’re alive… “

Tony wanted to say something flip, but all he managed to do was cough more. He gestured at Bruce, _Go on._

“You ... you passed out on Wednesday... the medical alarms went off… you’ve been here since… the S.H.I.E.L.D. doctors… they said you were dying… it was my fault.” Bruce wailed the last part.

Tony grabbed Bruce and shook him. He managed to croak out, “What DAY is it?”

“Friday… it’s Friday…” Bruce looked back at the monitors. “Tony, my God, it’s like there was nothing wrong.”

Tony was trying to make sense of it all. _Wednesday? Friday?_

Tony swung his legs out of the bed and stood up. He… seemed to have gotten taller? He looked down in confusion; he was standing on Loki’s chest.

“SHIT!” he yelled without thinking and then started coughing uncontrollably as his throat objected. He did manage to get OFF of Loki, at least.

When he could talk again he rasped out, “Jarvis.”

“Yes, sir?” Jarvis said as Tony reached down and tried to lift Loki off the floor. No such luck; Loki was HEAVY.

“Distract everyone.” Tony glared at Bruce and pantomimed getting the unconscious Loki up on the bed he had just vacated.

“Already in progress, sir, which is how Mr. Laufeyson got here unnoticed.”

Bruce helped him get Loki up on the bed. Tony was getting a bit worried about the ‘maybe I’m dreaming this’ shocked look on Bruce’s face.

After they’d put Loki on the bed, Tony brushed Loki’s hair back. As soon as his fingers touched Loki’s bare skin, he knew: _Loki had saved his life; Loki was pretty badly hurt, although there was nothing much medical science could do; Loki needed to be protected, and to rest._ Tony had the impression that there was more, as if he had just sat in on a lecture that -somehow- he didn’t completely understand.

Tony was thinking as fast as he could, which was pretty damned fast, and pantomimed firmly at Bruce to turn OFF the monitors. “Jarvis, institute ‘Light Show’; however, start on our roof and then move it further away.”

“Yes, sir; and, if I may say so, sir, I am pleased to see you well.”

“Thanks, Jarvis. Within the building, use security program ‘long division’, but allow people to move away from here, and from the route to the penthouse.” His throat hurt.

“Yes, sir.”

Bruce was staring at him again, as he pulled off the monitor leads and the IV. Tony spotted a familiar looking case, and an eerily familiar looking knife. He put the knife in the case and put it on the bed next to Loki.

“So,” rasped Tony, grinning over at Bruce, “can you help me smuggle a wanted fugitive up to my bedroom?”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> luckily the fact that Loki was on the floor, unmoving, and TONY was getting up, threw Bruce into stunned shock. Otherwise lots of smashing later we wouldn't have much story.


	48. Bargains

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isn't it funny how the people you least want to catch you, are the people who show up?

Bruce kept alternately staring at Tony like he was a ghost, muttering about how it was entirely his fault, and plaintively whining about Loki, and didn’t stop until they slid Loki off the hospital bed onto Tony’s actual bed in the penthouse. Loki hadn’t moved or made any noise; he’d just been heavy at them. Tony put the knife case down on the bedside table and rubbed his hand through his hair. “I’m going to need a really good story for this one.”

Bruce suddenly grabbed Tony and spun him to face himself. “You were DYING!”

“Yeah, you keep saying that. So? It’s not like that’s the first time… why was I dying THIS time _?” Ice_ , his throat was on fire and he needed ice. He rolled the hospital bed back out to the living room.

“It was MY FAULT!” Tony realized he was hearing a dangerous lowering of Bruce’s voice. He spun and sure enough Bruce looked a bit agitated.

“Bruce, Bruce my throat isn’t up to telling you science jokes…” he rasped. “It’s ok. I’m ok… my penthouse is ok… can we keep it ok?”

Bruce took a couple of deep shuddering breaths and sat on the floor. Tony came over, hugged him, then helped him onto the sofa. He got up and walked over to the bar. “So, root beer?”

“Explain,” said a very low, cold voice. Natasha was leaning into the wall near the elevator, arms crossed.

Tony stared at her.

He looked up plaintively, “Jarvis?”

“My apologies, sir, I was unable to distract Ms. Romanoff, and she used the override code that was provided in the event that you became disabled.”

Natasha stalked over and reached out to grab Tony by the throat; for once, Tony flinched back and whimpered. She stopped, hand just shy of closing on his throat, and narrowed her eyes.

“Intubated, Nat, hurts like hell,” he rasped out quietly. “Can I get some ice?”

She nodded and moved her hand away. Tony walked over to the bar and got himself a large glass of ice water and poured Bruce a root beer. He raised an eyebrow at Natasha.

“Ginger ale,” she said flatly.

He handed the drinks around. Bruce just looked lost. Natasha was studying him with her least readable annoyed expression. _I better make this good_. Tony put a smile on his face and started to talk, “So…” He had to stop and drink because his damn throat was on fire.

Bruce just said quietly, “I don’t understand.”

Natasha smiled icily and said, “I don’t like not understanding.”

Tony looked back and forth between them. “I swear, I will tell you guys anything you want to know if we can just cover up the fact that he’s still here. I have an idea.”

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its amazing how much MORE those override codes let you do if Tony is very ill or incapacitated...
> 
> (Please note spoiler warnings)
> 
> Natasha used those over rides, which boost her USUAL clearance to insane levels....while Tony was dying. because she is the senior security person in the tower.   
> she has been in Tony's penthouse for far longer than Tony thinks.  
> she didn't just use it to get here, she's been doing other security minded stuff.


	49. Reunited for Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony gets everyone back together

Natasha grumbled in Russian – Tony thought it was Russian- the entire way back to the infirmary. Bruce mostly looked stunned, although for some reason he was smiling slightly by the time Tony finished explaining his plan.

“What?” he rasped out, staring at Bruce as they entered the infirmary.

Bruce just grinned more and hugged him. “You’re insane. I’m glad you’re ok.”

They rolled the bed back in place. Tony looked back and forth, “So… you’ll back me on this?”

“Yes,” said Bruce.

“No promises,” said Nat.

“Jarvis?”

“Yes, sir?”

“Bring them back in, and open a comm link to the rest of the team… and Pepper.”

“Yes, sir.”

“So,“ he rasped into the open comm, “I heard I was dying again. Anyone want to tell me what from THIS time?”

He managed to count to 2 before the comm link exploded in babbles, screams, and demands for clarification.

One voice higher than the others cut through the chatter: “TONY?!”

“Ms. Potts.“ He couldn’t help but grin into the link. “Sorry about missing… what meeting did I miss? Anyway, sorry. Forgive me?”

The noise of everyone talking at once was becoming unbearable and he needed more ice, so he just said, “I’m in the infirmary, Stark out,” and cut the comm.

Natasha swore at them and grabbed their glassware. Tony pointed to the access corridor door, and she shoved the glasses into the corridor and closed the hatch.

“Ice?” he pleaded hoarsely. She went and got an infirmary cup of ice.

After that it got crazy: the entire team tried to pile into the infirmary at once, and the S.H.I.E.L.D. doctors were trying to get him to lie back down and be hooked back up to all the monitors. Tony was fairly certain the older one of them would have been MUCH HAPPIER if he had died because Tony obviously messed up his reports.

Bruce left to ‘get himself together’, although it was actually to watch Loki at Tony’s request.

The more the doctors tried to deal with him the edgier Tony got _. I don’t trust you…_

“Let me get this straight,“ Tony said in exasperation, “I was dying because of alcohol withdrawal?”

The older doctor spent quite a bit of time discussing the effects of alcohol withdrawal on damaged heart tissue. The younger one chimed in with discussions about seizures. He really knew his stuff, and had a very ‘professionally polite’ warmth to him, as opposed to the ‘patients annoy me’ vibe of the elder.

They both wanted him transferred to a better medical facility.

It took him two solid hours to get the S.H.I.E.L.D. doctors to admit that he absolutely was not dying. They insisted that he should be subjected to various tests; he told them where they could go and how they could get there. Unfortunately several of the team thought ‘more tests’ sounded like a wonderful idea. Luckily, Natasha communicated -apparently by eyebrow semaphore- with Pepper, and they both backed him up and got the doctors thrown out.

Eventually it was just Pepper and the team. Thor took up a LOT of infirmary space, Tony noted.

“I am NOT having this discussion in a hospital, or a hospital gown. Penthouse?”

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alcohol_withdrawal_syndrome  
> withdrawal from any drug can be difficult. yes you can DIE from alcohol withdrawal syndrome, usually from seizures and heart issues. its rare mostly because of modern medical treatment.  
> Tony, however, has existing medical issues that makes treating him very very difficult


	50. Trust Issues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Doctors, Team meetings, and why Tony is alive right now.

After they all got to the penthouse, Tony excused himself to get dressed. Bruce was sitting in the bedroom next to the bed. Loki hadn’t moved.

“How is he?” Tony whispered as he started getting dressed.

“I don’t know. He’s breathing; his heart rate is really slow, but that may be normal; and he feels cool. The cuts he made in his arm are all healed and look like really old scars.”

“Cuts in HIS arm?” Tony stared at him and then stared down at his own arm: nothing, not a mark on him except from the IV.

Bruce said slowly, “He cut your chest. Up near your shoulder.”

Tony threw off the hospital robe, since he’d put his pants on first, and stared in the mirror. None of Loki’s knife marks remained, none of the bruises; the only new mark was a scar on his upper chest. Tony traced it with his finger. _It was Loki’s hand, all right_. Tony flushed. _I wonder if it says, “Loki’s”_

“I missed it?” he said, staring into the mirror. _He carved his name on me and I MISSED it?_

Natasha slipped into the room. “Hurry up, they’re getting restless.”

“Jarvis?” Tony said as he pulled on a t-shirt.

“Yes, sir.”

“Let me know if he shows any sign of waking up, or getting worse.” Tony strapped on a watch that had a small computer display on it.

“Certainly, sir.”

He finished getting dressed, then they all walked out of the room.

Everyone was looking at Tony as he rasped out, “Ok, first of all, I’m going to be sucking ice throughout, sorry if it bugs you. Secondly, I’m asking all of you to keep this in confidence.”

“Of COURSE we keep confidences with you,” Thor rumbled. “How is that in question?”

Tony held up a hand. “Because, Point Break, what I am about to say is kind of weird, and I don’t want people blurting this out to anyone, especially Fury, until I’m well enough to handle it. Right now, Jarvis has orders to keep outsiders away from me, including S.H.I.E.L.D., because I need to sleep for a week, and they won’t let me.”

Bruce said quietly, “You said you were going to tell the doctors.”

“Yup, I was. Which is why I’m NOW saying: no one tell Fury anything until I settle this.” Tony took a deep breath and immediately regretted it when he started coughing again. After some more ice he continued, “I WAS going to tell the doctors this, but… ever had a really bad hunch?”

Most of the Avengers looked puzzled, but both Clint and Natasha nodded.

“Yeah, you had one?” asked Clint.

“Yeah,” Tony nodded. “The senior doctor was just a jackass. I mean, I think I messed up his paperwork but… that’s just being a jackass. Everything I am about to tell you was supposed to include the two doctors, and go straight up from there, but…” Tony frowned.

“Look. Don’t ask, ok? But the younger doctor, the guy who absolutely wasn’t doing anything wrong and wasn’t being a jackass and had really good bedside manner? Him? Yeah, I don’t trust him. So, even though I was GOING to tell them too… I won’t; just you guys.”

Bruce started talking patiently about hospital psychosis but Tony cut him off hard: “Bruce, no. Just no. It may be paranoia, but no way in hell.” Bruce just nodded; he had his own issues with doctors.

Tony took a deep breath and locked eyes with Thor. “Because the reason I am alive right now is Loki.”

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow. chapter 50! i know most of my chapters are insanely short. ( thats because i break them at scene shifts in my head) but still, chapter 50.
> 
> I know i implied in the last chapter that Tony didnt trust the older doctor. the truth is Tony never trusts doctors, but... for whatever reason the younger doctor set of his alarms, hard. i hope we will get to see why and all, but... IF we do it will not not for many chapters i am afraid.  
> because  
> right now there will be a full team of Avengers in his penthouse... and an unconscious Loki in his bedroom. kind of a volitile mix.


	51. By Omission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> well in all honesty, its not JUST by omission.... Tony lies way more than Loki

“WHAT?!” Thor surged to his feet, knocking tables, cups, and a few Avengers over.

Clint scrambled up fast and went for a weapon. “Loki?!”

Tony held his hands up. “Chill, he’s gone.”

“My BROTHER was HERE?” Thor grabbed Tony by the shoulders. “Where is he?! Are you all right?!”

“Thor…” Tony said slowly, “Your brother SAVED my life. Please don’t switch jobs and break me?”

Thor released Tony’s shoulders and stepped back, looking confused.

Tony went over and helped replace a few cups, including Pepper’s. She looked lost, but managed a smile for him.

Steve looked at Tony, “Tony, you were seeing things in the infirmary, we all know that…”

Tony looked annoyed. “Yeah? Do hallucinations take me from ‘please fill out this morgue paperwork’ to ‘you’re fine’?“ He glared at Steve. “Besides, Bruce saw him.”

Everyone looked at Bruce. “Yes, I did. It was Loki, and I have no question that he saved Tony’s life.”

There was a mad babble of “why?” and “what’s he up to?” and similar questions before Tony managed to get them to shut up.

“All I can tell you is that he started a lot of distractions, set off some security alarms, and showed up in the infirmary.” Tony put a puzzled note into his voice and tried to avoid looking at Natasha. _Please back me up Nat, Clint and Thor won’t cope._ “Then he did some weird green sparkly stuff, and I woke up, and he vanished.”

Bruce then related what he had seen, minus the knife- Tony didn’t think that would sell well- and changing ‘passed out on the floor and smuggled into the bedroom’ with ‘vanished’. Tony and Bruce pretty much repeated what had gone on when he woke up; they just implied it had happened a bit later than it did. Natasha , bless her, backed them up by claiming to have arrived at the infirmary not long after Tony woke up, but obviously after Loki left.

Tony started breathing again.

Several people said things that more or less equated to: “But WHY?!” Tony could understand the question, he just couldn’t answer it; mostly because Tony was NOT going to say ‘He hadn’t had a chance to try out the new restraints yet?’ to Thor.

“Beats me,” Tony grinned to himself at the pun, “You see him, you ask him. Meanwhile, I have to rest.”

Natasha, bless her, came to his rescue, asking Clint and Thor to look around for issues on the roof, and asking Steve to find out if any of the building staff had seen anything unusual.

“I’ll debrief Tony and Bruce,” Natasha nodded at the other Avengers.

_Bless you, Natasha, you really are a good teammate._

“Pepper…” Natasha continued, “Could you stay for a bit?”

_Romanoff, you traitor!_

“Pep,“ Tony said, trying to sound casual, “I don’t think you need to be here for this…”

Natasha had gotten behind him somehow and had her hand on his neck. “Oh, I think she does… moral support.” Tony had the certain knowledge that none of the Avengers leaving the floor could see whatever implement she was casually holding between his shoulder blades in her other hand.

“Natasha…” he said quietly without moving his lips. Pepper looked over at him with some alarm. Bruce mostly looked confused.

Natasha looked down at Tony with an expression of concern and understanding, obviously for Clint’s benefit since he looked back out of the elevator about then; what she SAID was: “Tony, nod your head or I will nod it for you.”

Tony nodded and looked down at the ice in his cup. Pepper was starting to look much more alarmed when the elevator doors closed.

“Pepper, Stark here didn’t want you in on this; I do, and right now he OWES me,” Natasha said firmly, letting go of Tony’s neck and going back to her seat.

“What’s going on?” Pepper turned big eyes at Tony, which narrowed at him suddenly. “Tony, what are you hiding?”

Not for the first time Tony wondered if Pepper was a telepath. _No, calm down, this time it was obvious_.

“Jarvis.”

“Yes, sir?”

“No calls.”

“Are you certain, sir?”

“Absolutely.

“Ok, Nat. I DO owe you.   Right now you could kill me and get a fifteen minute head start before Jarvis pulled the alarm, so go ahead... Why did you want Pepper here?”

“I was wondering that myself,“ Bruce asked quietly.

Natasha looked straight at Tony. When she spoke, her voice had a faint hint of a Russian accent, which Tony knew meant she was mad as fuck. “I wanted Pepper here as an expert on your behavior, Stark. She’s known you the longest.”

Tony tried to make himself look small and harmless. “Sure, Nat, I just really…”

She cut him off, “You just? Don’t even start.”

Bruce looked at Natasha, “What… what don’t I know? You were already angry when you showed up… what’s going on?”

Pepper looked pretty frantic.   “Ok, I don’t know what you’re talking about. Natasha, can you please clue me in?”

Tony put his hand on Pepper’s. “Just… it’s ok, Pep. I’m alive, right?”

Natasha looked at Tony as if she might be about to remedy that.

“Loki apparently did heal him, Pepper, but he didn’t vanish afterwards. He passed out,” Natasha said in a flat voice. “Bruce and Tony moved him to the bedroom. Tony said he would tell us anything we wanted to know if we helped cover this up. We did.”

Pepper stared at Natasha, then Bruce- who nodded- and then stared at Tony. “He’s still here… and you …” She looked thoughtful. “Clint would kill him.”

“Yeah, he would. And Thor would drag him off to Asgard, and Steve would have S.H.I.E.L.D. here in 10 or less. He saved my life, Pep, it’s the least I can do.”

Bruce nodded, “I... get that. I didn’t at first, but I get that. What I don’t understand is why he was here, and why he helped.”

Tony sucked on some ice to delay the inevitable.

“We… had been... working on a truce, Bruce.” Bruce looked startled. Natasha looked… odd.

“He was expected sometime this weekend. There is this thing called formal hospitality, it’s a Really Big Thing.“ Tony tried to get them to hear the capitals and underscores on those words. “It’s a contract, and all the Asgard and hoo ha folks take it really seriously. It meant I could talk to him safely. It’s a truce; a temporary truce.”

Tony rubbed his forehead. “He still shouldn’t have been able to get to the infirmary. Jarvis, how did he…?”

“Mr. Laufeyson stated his intention to assist you, sir. Since it was an emergency I changed his access level.”

“Mr. Laufeyson?” Pepper asked, a bit dazed.

“Yes, Ms. Potts, he had previously been insistent that he was not a son of Odin, and therefore I addressed him as Mr. Laufeyson. He did not object.”

Natasha nodded. “So Jarvis was behind the distractions and security problems?”

“Yes, Ms. Romanoff. Time seemed to be of the essence in assisting Mr. Stark.”

Bruce looked relieved. “So, that’s why? When can we tell the others?”

“After he wakes up and is able to stand up for himself, I guess.” Tony sighed. He got up out of the chair. “I should keep an eye on him.”

“Sit. Down.” Natasha’s voice had an edge to it. “When you were admitted to the infirmary, you were a mass of bruises and cuts, including some very specific KINDS of bruises and cuts.”

Tony suddenly felt chilled. “Uh... yeah, but... I wasn’t dying from that.”

Pepper looked pained. “Certainly that’s not an issue to be addressed right now, Natasha, he was suffering from alcohol withdrawal…”

Natasha looked at Pepper firmly, “Yes, it is to be addressed right now. I need to know if this is NORMAL behavior from Tony Stark. There is nothing about this in any of his profiles.” Natasha narrowed her eyes at Pepper and Tony, “Although it sounds like it might be not unexpected.”

Pepper’s “I have no idea what you mean…” trailed off when Tony squeezed her hand.

Tony looked at Bruce. “This gets ugly, bro.” Bruce looked so confused.

“Natasha, if I got stripped, I guess you... saw a lot?” Tony asked.

Natasha nodded, and glanced at Pepper.

Pepper bit her lower lip. “Yes, it’s… normal for him. Or it was, before we were seeing each other. He stopped while we were together.” Pepper looked like she might cry. Tony hugged her briefly and sat back.

Bruce suddenly looked enlightened, and then embarrassed. “Oh.”

Tony winced.

Bruce looked at him, “Tony, is THAT why Dani was here? For a medical check?“ He made a clucking noise. “Why didn’t you just ask me?”

Tony stared at him. Pepper stared at him. Bruce looked back and forth between the two of them and then over at Natasha. He shrugged. “How badly marked up?” he asked Natasha.

Natasha shrugged, “Knife play, lots of it. Well treated and clean. The bruises were bad, but that’s not the issue. The issue is I had no way to know if any of this was voluntary.”

“Wait…” Tony’s head was spinning. “You… are ok… with this?”

Natasha snorted, “Do you think you are the only man with such interests? I attract them despite my best attempts to avoid them, and I have worked undercover gaining information before. This was simply not in your profile. It SHOULD have been in your profile. It’s an exploitable weakness.”

Tony really didn’t want to be having this discussion. “Can we leave this for another day? Please?” he pleaded.

“No.”

Pepper looked at Natasha. “Look, I agree it’s a problem, believe me I agree, but can we please deal with the Loki problem first?”

“We are,“ Natasha said in a tone that could have been used to discuss the weather, “because Loki was here last weekend as well. It’s an exploitable weakness, as I said, and I am concerned because it was Loki’s hand on the knife.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i can't blame him for NOT wanting to tell the Avengers that a helpless Loki is lying in the next room, really.
> 
> Also... Tony is so used to "nice people" freaking out over his kinks.. that he just kind of assumes that Bruce will run off puking if he ever found out. Dude has been on the run for years, and worked in some pretty strange places. i dont think "freaked out over sex other people have voluntarily" would shock him. That said Tony has been heavily conditioned to think of this as "never tell anyone" time


	52. By Commission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seriously, Tony lies a lot. Natasha doesn't like being fooled.

Bruce just stared at Tony with his mouth hanging open. Tony winced and looked at Natasha-who was staring levelly at him- because anything had to be better than Pepper’s reaction.

Pepper’s voice, low and a bit shaky: “Oh.”

Tony looked over at her expecting the worst, but she just sat there looking down slightly. She looked up at Natasha, not Tony.

“Then, Natasha, I’m afraid it very likely **was** voluntary.”

Bruce stared at her. “You think… it was LIKELY to be voluntary… with Loki?”

Tony managed to close his mouth, which had been hanging open since she said that. “You DO? Why would you think it was likely?! I didn’t think it was likely!”

Natasha muttered something that sounded like, “…not in any of my files…” and cleared her throat. “Can you please explain, Pepper?”

Pepper looked sadly at Tony. “Sorry,” she said. Tony knew her well enough to read the rest into it: she knew everything, maybe more than he did, and she was going to have to tell them.

“Its ok, Pep.” He smiled at her. “I told them I would answer any questions, and you have my power of attorney anyway.”

She took a deep breath and looked at Natasha. “It’s the risk. The life and death risk. The adrenaline and the ‘I can handle anything all by myself with no back up’. It… It’s like an addiction.” She smiled sadly over at Tony, “The only addiction bad enough to make you forget about the drinking, I guess.”

Tony flinched. _I mean there’s honesty and there’s dissecting a guy, you know?_

Tony grumbled, “You forgot about the endorphins.”

Bruce coughed a bit, “Well, Tony, I think we all know most of the Avengers are adrenaline junkies…”

Tony sighed and rubbed his head. “Yeah, but for me it’s worse. I get off on adrenaline, sure, like I wouldn’t have the suit if I didn’t, but… endorphins do it for me too. The combination? It’s… heaven.”

Natasha nodded slowly. “That… makes more sense. I knew I was missing something, but there was never a hint…”

“It cost a fortune to hush some of it up,” Pepper said, “but there hasn’t been much to hush up for a while… Tony promised...” she looked away, “while we were together.”

Tony put his arm around Pepper. “It isn’t your fault, Pep. God knows you tried.

“Let me just start at the beginning,” Tony sighed. “Remember the last time… Loki and I were fighting… in the park…”

Natasha nodded. “Loki versus Iron Man, and you wouldn’t wait for back up… again. Yes?”

“Yeah. Remember the risk thing Pepper said?” Tony looked over at Pepper sadly. “You were right. Anyway, it was going really really bad. My left arm was still hurt from last time. ‘Luckily’ he didn’t hit that.” Tony looked down.

“I hear something there.” Natasha raised a very expressive eyebrow.

“Yeah, I’ll get there, bear with me, ok?”

Tony, for the first time, seriously thought about just how badly that fight had gone.

“He took out my stabilizers and my main targeting system. He got my comm link… I mean it looked really bad. And he was right there up against me just about in my face.” Tony felt the color drain out of his face. “Shit! He really had me!”

Natasha stared at him oddly. “Do you mean to say this is the FIRST time you realized that?”

Pepper was sipping at something, and Tony could see her hand shake. “He didn’t care, Natasha. He never does. He never HAS. Not at the time. It’s the same thing that let him take a nuclear warhead into a wormhole, and get up cracking jokes. The same thing that let him sit there and talk to me while he had bruises and cut marks from someone tying him up and taking a knife to him.”

Bruce looked a bit shook. Tony mouthed ‘ugly, bro, I warned you’ at him.

“Yes, Tash… that’s the first time I realized that,” Tony winced. “Anyway, so stabilizers, targeting, comm link, all gone… and then I realized someone was screaming.”

“Don’t people normally scream during these sorts of things? Even in New York?” she asked drily.

Tony winced. “They don’t normally scream ‘Get a fucking room’…”

Everyone looked surprised. “What?” That had been Bruce, but they all looked like they were thinking it.

“There was this Ranting Hat Lady… she stood there and screamed at us about...” Tony couldn’t quite manage to finish that.

Pepper stared at him. “About?”

“About how we should take our BDSM foreplay back to Stark tower or go get a room and stop trashing her park and raising her rent.” Tony said in a rush, and then looked down and flushed.

Pepper just stared at him.

Bruce covered his face with his hands, hiding any expression, though Tony suspected he was laughing.

Natasha looked thoughtfully around the penthouse, “So you decided to take her advice?”

“NO! I mean… not exactly… I mean _I_ didn’t take her advice…” Tony fidgeted.

Everyone just stared at him some more.

“Loki did,” Tony finished in a near whisper.

“He came here and attacked you?” Bruce asked slowly.

“No! I thought... I thought he was… attacking, but he wasn’t. He just showed up on the balcony. He said he wanted to talk. I was kind of freaked out. The suit was out of commission, and the next one in series was down in the lab. So… we went inside and… talked.” Tony managed to get it all out in one breath. He winced. “Anyway I passed out from the magical scotch.”

Bruce blinked a few times. “From the magical scotch?”

“When he showed up I spilled my scotch. I kind of yelled at him about it.”

Pepper put her drink down. “You yelled at LOKI? Because he made you spill your SCOTCH?”

Tony sucked on an ice cube, suddenly realizing how REALLY dumb that sounded.

“It’s… really good scotch?” He hurried on at the look on Pepper’s face.   “Uh, anyway. Loki made a glass of scotch. I was already kind of buzzed and I didn’t notice that it never emptied. So I was drinking... a lot... more than I thought.”

Bruce nodded, “Yes, there are studies about how people eat and drink more if they can’t measure it.”

“Anyway we talked. I mostly know about it from the security recordings. It’s all kind of fuzzy. I passed out, and I didn’t wake up until Natasha came in and yelled about missing the meeting. I thought maybe I had hallucinated it, actually, but once I was able to, I reviewed the recordings… and... um... yeah. We talked.”

“What did you talk ABOUT Tony?” Natasha’s voice sounded friendly, and that was usually bad.

Tony looked desperately around, but none of them looked like they were going to give him an out.

“Uh... well, I was really drunk…”

“Don’t make me repeat myself.” Natasha was SMILING. _Crap._

Tony spoke very fast. “About how he knew my arm was hurt. He’d gone after my other arm deliberately to avoid my left arm…. And he said that I was a bad habit… and don’t kill me, Nat.”

Bruce looked tired. “What?”

“Basically, we both said we were interested in each other,“ Tony said, sighing faintly.

Natasha looked pointedly at Tony. “He’s a dangerous guy who uses a knife.”

Tony looked a bit distant. “Yeah. That.”

“DO go on, Tony,” Natasha said pleasantly.

“Err… He apparently had a nice chat with Jarvis, and helped Jarvis get me to bed.” He looked at the worried look on Bruce’s face. “No… he just put me into my bed. And left.” Tony sucked more ice cubes. “He told Jarvis he could come back Friday evening... ish. Of course, I didn’t know any of that until after Natasha woke me up.”

Natasha smiled at him. In comparison to that smile the ice cubes suddenly seemed a bit warm. “We were supposed to have a meeting Wednesday. You didn’t show. When no one could get anything from Jarvis, except to say you were incapacitated, I went in on Thursday.”

Tony sighed, “Yes, and for a minute I thought those were Loki’s boots I was half puking on.”

That got her to pause, anyway. Then she went on, “We re-scheduled OUR meeting for Friday morning.”

Her smile could have cut armor.

“And you lied to us.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a short bridge chapter, i will try to upload the next this evening.
> 
> When i first wrote this i thought pretty hard about what Pepper would say when she got told who it was that Tony had been with. Under any other circumstances she probably would have not believed it, or tried to noot believe it. but ... Tony has been dying. She's been trying to run the business and (God help her) get a press release ready for announcing to the world that Tony Stark died.  
> she's been doing a LOT of thinking.  
> and right now she's almost numb.  
> So... she's all cried out, really. she's grateful that he's alive, ad grateful to Loki for him BEING alive (which she nevver thought she would think) and she looks at what Natasha says and....  
> tall, knives, attractive, dangerous...just how crazy is Tony? and her mind just puts the puzzle pieces together and goes "yeah, if he thought he could do it and get away with it safely..."


	53. Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Confession is good for the soul. It also may yet keep Natasha ( or Pepper) from killing him.

_It wasn’t entirely a lie._

“It… wasn’t entirely a lie, Natasha...” Tony started to say.

Bruce looked levelly at him. “You said you accidentally took a pain pill, that your arm was hurt.”

“Ok, Bruce, I didn’t FALL on my broken arm tripping over anything while I was drunk, but I DID hurt it again in the apartment. I didn’t take a pain pill on top of scotch- it was the magical scotch glass- but I HAD done that before, and the solution I told you was what I actually have worked out with Jarvis for when I get serious pain meds.”

Tony took a deep breath and continued, “I hadn’t had anything to drink since you woke me up, Natasha. I **was** drinking too much since Pepper and I broke up, and I was going to get some help quitting. “

“Why didn’t you tell your teammates that a wanted criminal was going to be showing up at your apartment Friday night?”

Natasha had asked a very reasonable question; Tony wished he had a better answer: “I thought I could handle it.”

Natasha rubbed her forehead and looked off at the wall. “No one should ‘handle’ any business they have personal involvement in, Tony. Once you knew you were interested, especially after he brought it up, you should have called us in.”

Tony looked at her, “Nat, I’m taking a lot of this kicking in good grace because frankly I deserve it, but don’t try that ‘You don’t handle stuff you’re personally involved with’ crap with me.”

Natasha looked at him and nodded ever so slightly. “So how did you think you were going to ‘handle’ this?”

“Loki had mentioned, on the recording, ‘pretending to hospitality’.   I looked it up. Hospitality is a really ancient tradition. It’s basically a truce. And a mutual defense pact… I asked Thor about it after the meeting. It’s a big deal. No one can break it. Not gods, not giants, not anyone, without major bad shit coming down on their head.  Like i just said: a truce.

“I thought that would do it. I’d make him come out and say that he just wanted to talk, and he wasn’t going to hurt me, I’d get him to drink mead -that part is important, sharing mead- and then announce hospitality. Just like Thor said.” Tony paused, swirling ice around in his glass.

“I figured he’d leave once he couldn’t do anything, you know? Then we could go back to trying to find him, and capture him, and I swear I wasn’t going to get anywhere near him ever again. I mean, I think I’d managed to scare myself a bit.” Tony put his head down. “Except it didn’t work.”

“What do you mean ‘it didn’t work’?” Natasha frowned.

“Oh... Yeah, well THAT worked… I mean he couldn’t hurt me, and Jarvis said that’s why he could be sure Loki could be let in to the infirmary, what I mean was it didn’t work, because he didn’t leave.”

Tony looked off as he remembered the fear creeping up the back of his neck: the uncertainty; the smell of leather.   _Aw, fuck, I’m getting hard again_. “He came in and... asked me if I wasn’t going to run the scotch and soda program…”

“The what?” Pepper and Natasha said together.

“How did he know THAT?” Bruce stared at him wide eyed.

“I had said it when he came in the first time... He’s quick, Bruce, really fast. Intelligence is such a turn on.” Tony smiled a bit. “After I passed out, he asked Jarvis why Jarvis didn’t interfere when he kind of throttled me.”

“Throttled you? Loki THROTTLED you? You said you ‘just talked’?!” Bruce looked shocked.

“Oh, yeah...  well, it wasn’t serious… lots of people throttle me, ask Nat.”

“True...” said Natasha, looking as if she might do just that.

Pepper sighed, “So, the dangerous insane knife wielding lunatic ALSO hit that damned ‘breathplay’ kink?”

Bruce looked REALLY worried, and Natasha stared at Pepper. “Breathplay kink?” she asked carefully.

Pepper looked pained. “Yeah, it’s why we have full resuscitation and airway gear in the infirmary.”

Tony hurriedly started talking, “So Loki got it from Jarvis that that program allowed for some leeway. It’s mostly meant to keep Jarvis from interfering in...”

“The scotch and soda program,“ Bruce interrupted, “wasn’t intended for BDSM. It was meant to keep things from escalating if I... changed… and Tony had to talk me down. It meant Jarvis shouldn’t interfere unless Tony got badly hurt.”

Tony continued, “Anyway… he asked if I was going to activate that program… I was trying to be cool... and not let him rattle me. I mean he couldn’t do anything, right?” Tony looked around desperately. “So I activated that… and then the bastard gagged me.”

Bruce stared at him. “Gagging you doesn’t violate hospitality?”

“I guess not.”

Natasha just said, “Noted,” which kind of worried him.

“Anyway, he tied me up, and I was expecting a lot, but not what happened.”

There was a very uncomfortable pause.

“He... um… ended up talking to Jarvis, actually. He asked him how much I had been drinking, which was zero, and he asked him about… about whether the scotch and soda program would let him cut me, or just strangle me a little… And then… Loki started talking about a safeword.” Tony looked off wistfully, “But I kind of got distracted.”

“Did he…?” Bruce looked concerned at him.

“Oh he didn’t TOUCH me...” Tony looked down. “He didn’t have to. He just talked. Afterwards, he ungagged me, and… was actually really nice.”

They were all staring at him.

Pepper finally broke the silence with “A bit lost here, Tony.”

Tony took a deep breath. “Look, I was tied to the bed, wearing nothing but my t shirt. He didn’t touch me, he just talked... And that was the best sex I ever had… until later.”

Natasha snorted, “You need to get out more.”

Tony looked at Natasha. “I get out plenty. I’ve done this before, a lot. I’ve been kicked out of at least 5 BDSM clubs for playing too hard… and that was still the best sex I’d ever had.”

Natasha said firmly, “Our background checks need work. If I had known THAT I never would have trusted you around him…. And I would have been a lot more alarmed at the way the fights were going.”

Tony sucked more ice cubes. ”Anyway… Loki insisted on a safeword. He asked me about any limits I had. Hell, he even pointed out that I hadn’t said hands off the reactor.”

“You didn’t?“ Pepper stared at him.

“I was kind of... not thinking. Anyway, yeah, once he pointed it out I said it was off limits. He never touched my chest after that.” Tony rubbed absently at the new scar on his chest.

“That explains why most of the injuries were well away from it,” Natasha said thoughtfully.

“Everything was going great; ok maybe I didn’t get quite enough to eat... And he knows about the shawarma… but other than that it was great. Until…”

“Until?!” Bruce looked like every time he got a grip on this it got weirder.

“Seconded, until?” Natasha said.

“Um… I… I was afraid I had scared him off.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Natasha, incidentally, after figuring out a way to suitably punish Tony for all this, is going to be having WORDS with the background check people at S.H.I.E.L.D. (or she thinks she will)  
> however it doesn't matter because Pepper is slowly recovering enough that she just may help Natasha to murder Tony (Not really, but seriously Tony is asking for it with all this)
> 
> of course you do understand that all three of them are trying to figure out how you "scare off" a Loki.


	54. Nearby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki kind of wakes up.

Natasha blinked several times and repeated what Tony had just said: “You were afraid YOU had scared LOKI off?”

Tony fidgeted, rubbing at his chest. “I didn’t pay attention and I pushed past a few of his limits…” Tony looked up and started talking more hurriedly, “But he said we were going to talk about it next time and he asked me to get more restraints in that email so he hadn’t dumped me and he was going to see me again…” Tony trailed off when he realized everyone was staring at him again. “What?”

Pepper just groaned.

Natasha looked stunned at him. “You think… YOU pushed past HIS limits?”

Bruce laughed a bit weakly and said, “Only you, bro, only you.”

“Actually, Nat, I KNOW I did. I was going to start out by apologizing the next time I saw him, but... um… apparently I was dying and then he healed me and he was unconscious… so I haven’t had a chance.”

Jarvis chose this moment to beep his wrist computer. Tony glanced down to see ‘activity’ flashing on his screen.

“Look, I think he’s waking up, I have to go.” He kissed Pepper on the cheek. “Be right back.”

He heard Natasha actually whining at Pepper as he left the room, “Why haven’t you KILLED him?”

“He’d enjoy it too much.”

The door shut behind Tony. Loki was lying on the bed: he hadn’t moved much, but Tony was sure he was awake. “Loki?” He sat down next to him on the bed. “Please tell me you’re ok.”

Loki’s eyes opened but they didn’t look very focused. Tony took Loki’s hand and…

_Contact_

Loki’s eyes had closed again and he lay very still.

_My darling poet…_

“Loki?” Tony whispered. “That’s you, isn’t it?”

_Yes. I have to get back to my sanctum. Now. My shields are crumbling._

“You need to rest! And heal!” Tony hissed at him, urgently clutching his hand.

_I will only heal there, my Rose. You have to get me there…_

Tony staggered back out of the bedroom, interrupting whatever the three of them had been saying.

Bruce jumped to his feet. “My God, Tony, what happened!?”

“Loki… healing me drained all his reserves. He has to get back to his home or he won’t heal… and someone... someone bad… will find him.” Tony felt panicked.

They tried to get him to sit down, but he shook them off. “He saved my life. Whatever else you think, he saved my life.”

Bruce nodded. “I owe him for that.”

Pepper looked at Tony, “We owe him that much. Do you need the Quinjet?”

“I have an address.” Tony shook his head and wondered what he looked like. He didn’t think it was that funny, but he felt like he might start laughing and not be able to stop. “We don’t need the Quinjet; we barely need a car. He lives next to the park.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes i know this is a very short bridge chapter. i will try to upload the next one this evening if i can.  
> as always comments, kudos, and bookmarks make my day.


	55. Loki's Apartment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They get to Loki, err... Eric Goodfellow's... apartment.  
> (One of my longer chapters)

If it hadn’t been for Natasha they never would have gotten in.

She had them all dress way down, and found Tony a baseball cap. “Thank God a lot of guys are still wearing your beard style,“ she’d said. “Otherwise you would have had to shave.”

“Look, I already figured out how much it would cost to buy that building, wouldn’t it be simpler?” Tony asked.

Pepper looked confused. “Why would you be buying his apartment building?”

Tony looked back at her, “Because that’s where I saw Ranting Hat Lady go in, and I was trying to figure out how to NEVER run into her again, ever, anywhere. I figured I could buy the building and pay for everyone to move to California or something.”

Pepper starting laughing.

Natasha looked at Tony, “You don’t think small, do you?”

Tony coughed slightly, “Never have, never will.”

“We need a coat big enough to drape over Loki.”

Everyone looked at each other.

Bruce asked, “Does Thor have any coats here?”

“Not that I’ve seen. He doesn’t seem to care what the weather is.” Tony replied.

Bruce blinked, and looked at the bedroom and, by inference, Loki, “He’s not built as big as Thor… Steve has a trench coat...”

Natasha said, “Perfect, get it, and apologize to Steve. Tony will buy him a new one.”

Tony looked warily at Natasha, “Why am I going to need to buy him a new one?”

\---

They wheeled Loki into his apartment building wrapped in the beer covered- and possibly vomit covered, Tony refused to ask- remains of Steve’s coat, in a wheelchair. They staggered in past the lobby, smelling of beer, laughing and unsteady on their feet. They were just a bunch of friends back from a Friday night; a Friday night that was probably just getting started. They all piled into the elevator. Natasha, without once changing expression, hissed at them to face the door and keep looking down. “Cameras.”

They got out of the elevator; fortunately, at this hour, no one was in the hallway.

Tony stopped in front of the door and stared, trying to remember.

_‘Sorry, magics... only my hand… on the key… or yours.’_

He fumbled with the key for what seemed like forever, before the door opened and Natasha shoved them all inside.

Loki fell out of the wheelchair and lay sprawled on the floor. He was still unconscious, but oddly looked better than he had outside. Natasha was muttering, “This is a lot less stressful if you’re allowed to kill someone.”

Bruce looked up from Loki, “Er... It is?”

“Sure, this way I have no idea what to do if we get caught. Normally, if someone were to see us, I’d have more… options.”

Tony looked at her, “Have I told you lately how glad I am you’re on our side? ‘Cause I am.”

Bruce said, “Help me get him to a bed...” He looked around, “assuming he has one.”

Tony looked at the apartment for the first time. They were in what he supposed was a living room/dining room combination: spacious by New York standards, but maybe it just looked bigger because it was mostly empty.

There was a table with two chairs near a window that Tony supposed must look out over the park when it was light out. The table had a laptop, a few books, a coffee cup, and a magazine sitting on it. The rest of the room had two bookcases full of books, a leather recliner, a side table with a lamp and a few more books, and that... was it.

Natasha looked around, “How long ago did he move in?” She looked puzzled.

Bruce said, “Not long by the look of it.”

Tony said thoughtfully, “I’m not sure, moving books takes a while.”

Natasha moved slowly to one of the doors. She opened it. “Bathroom,” she said. She opened the other door. “Bedroom… I guess?”

All three of them hauled Loki into the bedroom. Tony looked around. “Wow. Not what I would have expected.”

There was a king sized bed, plain, no head board, just a box spring and mattress, two pillows and plain sheets. There was one bedside table, with a brightly lit clock and a lamp. That was it. The bed took up most of the space. They laid Loki on it. It suddenly didn’t look like such a large bed.

Tony walked over in a daze and opened the closet door. There was a ruthlessly organized closet. Two pairs of dress shoes, one pair of loafers, three suits, several dress shirts and ties, and some shelves with casual clothing folded and in boxes.

“Who LIVES like this?” Tony exclaimed.

Natasha glanced at the open closet. “Usually?” she said, “Men whose wives organize their clothes for them.” She frowned, “Or people with really serious control issues.”

Bruce was tending to Loki. He remarked over his shoulder, “Or OCD.”

Natasha cocked her head thoughtfully for a moment and said, “That too.”

Tony closed the closet door and looked around. “Where’s his STUFF?”

Bruce asked, “What were you expecting?”

Tony gestured helplessly; he groped for a word, “Decadent? Opulent? Bond villain?”

Natasha nodded, “I was expecting a more dungeon-like atmosphere.”

Tony choked and flushed slightly. “Bond villain, like I said.”

Natasha turned to Bruce, “How’s he doing?”

Bruce answered, “Actually, better. I want to get him out of these clothes, though, so I can monitor his condition better.”

By the time they were done getting Loki out of his clothes, Tony understood why Loki had used a knife undressing him: apparently, undressing someone who is unconscious was difficult.

Tony asked Natasha to help get Loki’s clothes folded up somehow. “I don’t think he’d like my usual folding methods.”

“Wadding them up in a ball in the corner?” Natasha asked.

“Like I said, he wouldn’t like it”

Natasha took Loki’s clothing to the closet and did something organized to them. Then she said something that sounded delightedly surprised in Russian- at least Tony assumed it was Russian.

“What?” Tony asked as he came over.

“He has a wallet!”

“Uh... duh?”

Natasha patted Tony on the head. “Wallets mean information, Tony.”

“They do? What does my wallet mean?”

“That you have too many credit cards, eat out a lot, and haven’t picked up your dry cleaning since you broke up with Pepper.”

He stared dumbfounded at her. “Stop reading my wallet.”

Bruce said, “Can you two try to find some food, or at least some water? He looks stable; in fact he’s looking better every minute, but he’s pretty thoroughly unconscious.”

Tony and Natasha went back out of the bedroom. The kitchen was just across from the table: it was tiny, although not unexpectedly so for a city apartment.   The only things on the counter were a coffee maker, which smelled of tea, and a plug-in flashlight. Natasha started going through the cabinets and Tony went into the fridge.

“There is nothing in this fridge, except fruit… and one Danish,” Tony said in disgust. “How do you live on just fruit, and one Danish?”

Natasha said, “Lots of New Yorkers don’t cook Tony, they eat out. But this is weird. He has over a dozen kinds of tea, and tea makings, and that’s it. One set of dishes, one set of utensils, one drinking glass, and I guess that one coffee cup over there.”

Tony stared at her. “He’s a god of the golden realm! How does he manage to survive in such poverty?”

Natasha snorted at him, “This isn’t poverty, Tony, this is just weird.”

Tony walked out of the kitchen muttering, “Looks like poverty to me.”

He walked passed the table and stopped. “Hey! This is me!” he said to Natasha, pointing at the magazine.

Natasha came over. The magazine was some paparazzi rag, opened to a page full of photos of Tony Stark at various events.  

Tony picked up one of the books. “This… this is a book on electronic communications…” He grabbed another book, “This is a Stark Industries Trade Book! We hand these out to potential buyers… where the hell would he get one of these?”

“Do you hand out a lot of them “asked Natasha.

“Sure,“ he said.

Natasha just looked at him.

“Hmm…” he said. “So what’s in his wallet?”

She said, “Let’s look”

She was going methodically through the limited contents of Loki’s wallet, and studying a photo ID carefully, when Tony yelped: “Hey! I know that card! I’ve been thrown out of there.”

Natasha looked over, “Does that narrow it down?”

He was holding a card that had an address and contact information on one side. The other side said ‘Ms. Vivienne’.

“This,“ Tony said incredulously, “is a very expensive, and I do mean EXPENSIVE, BDSM club downtown.”

Natasha looked blankly at him, “so? I got the impression you approved of his interests.”

“First of all, I approve of his interests in ME. Not in anyone else. Secondly, this says MS. Vivienne.”

“So?” Natasha was trying to look sympathetic; it wasn’t working.

“That usually means a domme.   That’s just... wrong.” _If anyone was going to tie him up, it was going to be me_. “I didn’t get the impression he was into that.”

Natasha looked thoughtfully at the card, then at the computer. “You could email her from his account, ask her to call.”

Tony grinned at her, “It’s probably secured.”

She grinned back, “Yeah, it probably is.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> now might be a good time to go back and re read the scene with "eric" and "ranting Hat Lady" in HER apartment, where Loki was mentally noting how *different* it was.
> 
> also try to read " a bowl of fruit... and one Danish" in Robert Downey Junior's voice, i cracked my husband up with that one.


	56. ...in bed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki and Tony are in bed again... no its not like that... exactly.

Tony had been impressed. Loki’s laptop had some pretty impressive security on it. He broke it into with his cell phone. Natasha had wanted to start digging right then and there, but Tony insisted on emailing first.

“Apparently his identity is an Englishman here on a visa… it looks really good,” Natasha said. “He’s using the name Eric Goodfellow.”

“Eric? ERIC?!” Tony stared at her. “He looks nothing like an Eric.”

“I don’t know; his photo is cute.” She handed Tony a photo ID: a man with blonde curly hair, and a shy smile, looked out at him...

“Six foot two, blonde hair, blue eyes… kind of looks like Loki, a little, I guess, maybe? You’re right, he looks… ‘cute’, “ Tony said dubiously. “Loki doesn’t look ‘cute’.”

Natasha said thoughtfully, “The dominatrix could be for his cover. You said his photo looked shy…”

“Huh…” Tony blinked. “I didn’t think of that.”

He pulled up the email program, and sent a quick email: “Ms. Vivienne, Please call me immediately. It’s important. Eric.” Tony put his own cell phone number in.

Natasha started going through the files. Tony went back into the bedroom to check on Loki.

“Ok then, I take it this is a good thing?” Tony stared at the faint green light surrounding Loki’s body.

“I guess so?” said Bruce. “At any rate, it doesn’t seem to be a bad thing.”

“Great! I’ll sit with him. You go see if you can figure out the kitchen. It’s pretty bare out there. I think we’ll have to order in, and for the sake of his cover, maybe send someone out.”

Tony moved up next to Loki. “Loki, can you hear me, its Tony… Anthony…”

Loki murmured something unintelligible: it sounded like he said ‘gerbils’.

Tony frowned. “I have no idea what you’re trying to say, and I don’t WANT to learn Asgardian.”

Loki muttered something that sounded vaguely obscene, and moved suddenly. He threw an arm across Tony and dragged him into bed.

“Right. Bed, right. I’m still fully dressed here, Rudolph.”

Tony tried to get up.

Tony decided that he didn’t need to get up, especially since Loki’s arm hadn’t budged.

He lay there, trapped, for a short eternity, until Bruce came back into the room.

“Tony, I think he needs to rest,“ Bruce said.

“Great! Tell him.”

Bruce tried to pry Loki’s arm off him. The reaction was immediate and a bit startling: Loki started thrashing, crying rather piteously, “Nei, láttu mig halda það, ég ætla að vera góður!” Bruce let go immediately.

Tony started talking soothingly into Loki’s ear. When that didn’t seem to help, he started calling him names. Oddly, that helped: he stopped thrashing and lay still. Unfortunately, his arm was still locked around Tony, if anything a bit more tightly.

Natasha spoke from the doorway, “It’s your voice, Tony. You didn’t sound like you when you were trying to be soothing. Just talk normally.”

“What should I say?” Tony asked somewhat desperately.

Natasha looked at him, “Well what do you normally say in bed?”

“To him?” Tony stared at her incredulously. “Not much, I mostly make…“ he moaned in the back of his throat.“…Noises.”

Loki murmured, “Hvað valda tilefnislausri þú ert,” and started nibbling on Tony’s neck. Tony made a noise remarkably like the one he had just made earlier.

Bruce started biting his fist and wheezing.

Natasha said drily, “Yeah, that works, go with that.”

Several hours later, Tony still found himself being chewed on occasionally. In between losing all coherence when Loki hit the right spots –apparently he could do that without conscious thought- Tony could tell Loki was healing. He didn’t know how he knew; he just knew. They were safe, here.

_Assuming I don’t piss the bed._

Natasha came in and stood, arms crossed, near the door. Bruce had taken one of the two chairs from the table set into the bedroom and was sitting on that.

Natasha spoke up, “That laptop is weird, too.”

Bruce shook himself awake. “What? What laptop?”

“Loki’s... or rather ‘Eric Goodfellow’, that’s his cover. ” She handed the ID to Bruce.

“What’s strange about his laptop? I mean, other than the fact that Loki has one.”

“Do you want the creepy news, the bad news, or the really bad news?” Natasha asked.

“Start with the creepy news.” Bruce replied.

“His laptop has apparently been used extensively for research. He wipes his browser history, but we cracked that. Anyway, his research fields are bizarre.   The stuff on esoteric lore, and magic I could expect, but other than that? Lots of BDSM and sex related stuff, medical, scary amounts of research on injuries to the human body, broken arms, infection, everything Tony Stark related you could imagine...”

Bruce asked, “Given what we know about him, why is that bizarre?”

“Combined with instructional videos on how to knit, a complete summary of all the episodes of Doctor Who, the TV Tropes links for ‘Firefly’, and all the episodes of Good Eats by Alton Brown?”

Bruce looked thoughtful. “Ok a little strange, I’ll grant, but the knitting could be because of that incident with the yarn.”

“I’m RIGHT HERE guys,” said Tony.

Natasha looked over at him, “You looked busy.”

“Anything else?” asked Tony in an irritated tone.

“Yes, bad news: more information on the Avengers, public and private, than I’m happy to find out is available. It’s kind of spooky. That information should be locked down.   Addresses, associates, photos in places I wouldn’t expect. Based on his laptop information? I could nearly tell you the public whereabouts of each one of us minute by minute.

“It’s no wonder he knew we wouldn’t be in the park in time, Tony. He knew where we were.”

Tony looked appalled. “Yeah, we need to look into that.”

Natasha looked at him. “Tony, it gets worse.”

Both Bruce and Tony said, “How?”

“According to his laptop, Nick Fury left the Helicarrier at about the time the doctors could have called him, and arrived at Stark Industries Tower about thirty minutes ago.”

Bruce looked stunned. Tony couldn’t believe it. “How could Loki find that out? How? Wait… he wasn’t even here!”

“Right, Tony. He obviously had spies. He has that feeding into an automatic program that’s being updated, tracking each of us, and several senior members of S.H.I.E.L.D.”

“That... is a problem...” said Bruce slowly.

“Friggin’ understatement award...” Tony broke off as Loki murmured, “Frigg,” in his ear and started chewing again.

Natasha looked at Tony, “We’re going to have to tell the Director.”

“We can’t; hospitality, right?”

Natasha stared at him. “You didn’t worry about that when you helped me break into his laptop.”

“So? What’s that got to do with it?” Tony was confused again.

At that moment, Tony’s cell phone rang.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in my head Loki looks like Loki... and "Eric Goodfellow" looks like Tom Hiddleston in a suit. you can tell why his "shy smile" tends to melt people.
> 
> if Bruce had ANY doubts about Loki and Tony's relationship (or that loki was at least not just playing interested to get at Tony) this would have taken care of it. he damn near bit through his hand with that whole "i mostly make (moaning noises) at him" and reaction.
> 
> Tony gets no information unless they are in skin to skin contact, and Tony was/is fully dressed.  
> the touch telepathy is not nearly as clear , of course, when Loki is unconscious. It mostly told Tony that they were safe and Loki was healing.   
> (and that Loki was sexually interested in him, but i think he knew that already. if he didnt already know that the chewing all over tony's neck might be a clue)
> 
> and for those who celebrate: Happy Hallloween/ All Hallow's eve /Samhain


	57. The Phone Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ms. Vivienne

Tony took out his cell phone and stared at it. “Oh, shit. It’s a New York number I don’t know. It might be her.”

Bruce looked questioning, “Her? Her, who?”

Tony looked over at Loki, who had momentarily stopped gnawing on him.

He answered the phone, “Hello?”

Natasha stared at him in complete and utter disbelief. Bruce mostly looked confused.

“Hello,“ said a crisp and professional voice, _probably a receptionist,_ Tony thought, “I’m trying to reach Mr. Goodfellow?”

Natasha was gesturing in such a way as to suggest insults to Tony’s parentage and his intelligence.

Tony lowered his voice and said, “Eric is not available, but I hope this is Ms. Vivienne?”

Loki muttered two words, clearly, and in English for a change, “Alcohol wipes.”

Everyone stared at him.

The voice on the phone said, “Who is this?”

Tony, still keeping a corner of his eye on Loki, said, “Look, this is Tony Stark, THE Tony Stark, I need to talk to you about Eric; I’ll triple whatever he’s paying you.”

Bruce muttered, “Mr. Smooth strikes again…”

and that was the last thing in the room Tony heard for a while as a positively blistering commentary on Tony’s heritage, size, disease status, possible relation to various animals, and capability to form coherent relationships came through the phone.

“… plutocratic nightmare of a civilized human being…”

What stunned Tony more than anything was she didn’t use profanity once.

 

“I’m sorry?” he interjected as soon as she stopped for breath.

“I have ethics, Mr. Stark. I understand that you, having none, find this difficult to comprehend…”

“I’m really sorry?” Tony said pleadingly. “It’s just that Loki is sick and…”

Natasha smacked her forehead. Bruce, who’d been watching Tony’s expression with open curiosity, just shook his head.

“WHAT did you say?”

Tony froze. “I... uh... said that Eric was sick...”

His ear practically froze from the chill in her voice. “You are a terrible liar, Mr. Stark.“ He swore he heard a ruler coming down on a desk.

“Ok, Ok… I said that Loki was sick, sorry, slip of the tongue, never mind.”

“Is it dark?”

“What?”

“Is. It. DARK.”

“Uh… no. Should it be?” he glanced in confusion at the window.

“No, Mr. Stark, absolutely not. Unless you like having a disturbed god rip apart your penthouse.”

“No… not particularly… I think I’m a bit lost.”

“Can Loki come to the phone, I thought I heard him.”

“No, he’s unconscious, and kind of muttering.”

“You cannot hire me, Mr. Stark; Not for any sum of money. However, I am concerned about both Loki’s safety and your own.”

“And it shouldn’t be dark?” asked Tony.

“No.”

“Well, we’re in his apartment, but it’s not...”

“Stop.” she commanded. Tony stopped.

“You… and LOKI, are in his apartment?”

“Yes.”

“An apartment which overlooks the park you were in last Saturday?”

“You’ve been here?” Tony looked in disbelief around the bedroom.

“No, Mr. Stark, I haven’t. I’ll be there in ten minutes… make that fifteen. When Loki wakes up, you can tell him this is going to cost more than the office.”

“You charge more for outcall?” Tony said, trying desperately to make sense of this conversation.

“No, Mr. Stark. I mean it will cost more than the charge he already paid to replace a rather expensive office.”

_Office?_

“Keep the lights on, Mr. Stark, and try not to startle him.” She hung up.

 

 

 

 

 

 

  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Plutocratic nightmare of a civilized human being..."   
> This is one top that the bratty sub isn't putting one over on because of his money.   
> grin
> 
> i love writing Ms. Vivienne, but she is exhausting to script because frankly she's way smarter than i am.


	58. Ms. Vivienne

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony finally meets Ms. Vivienne in person.

Tony put down the phone.

Natasha immediately asked, “What’s going on?”

“That was her. She says she’ll be here in fifteen minutes. “She apparently knows that he’s Loki, knows where he lives, and won’t let me hire her.“

Natasha said, “It’s not good she knows that he’s Loki, but as to not letting you hire her? Good, she’s intelligent.”

“Actually she went on at some length about it being a question of ethics. The lady’s scary.”

“You? Scared of someone with ethics?” Natasha looked amused. “That’s novel.”

Bruce muttered, “I’ve been up for too long.”

Tony said, “No, I’m scared of someone who can insult me every way anybody has ever been insulted, while being frightfully polite, and apparently using the entire thesaurus. It was like being taken down by Noah Webster.”

Bruce asked, “What was the part about it being dark?”

“I was getting to that. She said to keep the lights on, she was VERY firm about that. I may never turn the lights off again. She also said to try not to startle him.”

Bruce looked around. “Keeping the lights on shouldn’t be a problem. I don’t know how well we can manage not startling him, although if your phone going off didn’t do it, I don’t know what would.”

Natasha looked thoughtful, “We have to let her in. I’ll take the key card and meet her in the lobby; Bruce can open the door once we get up here.”

Tony spent the next ten minutes alternately cursing under his breath and trying to convince Loki to at least chew on a different part of him.

Tony heard voices in the living room.

He heard Bruce say, “The bedroom is this way… Ma’am.”

Natasha came in first. Tony had never seen her look so careful.

The new arrival’s hair was pulled up into a sweep that Tony was fairly sure was professionally done. She had on tasteful gold earrings, an expensive blouse, a custom tailored pinstriped skirt suit, and what appeared to be a matching corset vest. Tony noted the expensive watch, and top end briefcase, and with a pang he realized that she wore the same brand of shoes that Pepper did.

The voice from the phone call said, “Well, Mr. Stark, you appear to be in one piece.”

Tony really wondered what this looked like.

“I’d get up, but I can’t. We tried to pull his arm clear but he got kind of hysterical,” Tony said.

“Well, he looks comfortable.” She walked over and casually pulled up Tony’s sleeve. She looked confused. She raised an eyebrow at Tony.

Tony turned bright red. “Yeah, um... Yeah, I guess you know?”

Ms. Vivienne stated coolly, “I expected to see knife marks.”

“I... had some, a lot, actually, up until earlier today… anyway weird magic stuff happened.” Tony tried to continue, but Ms. Vivienne simply looked at him and his throat sort of dried out a bit. _God, she reminds me of Pepper. No, she reminds me of my fantasies about Pepper…_

“Did he keep everything clean, Mr. Stark? Were they properly treated or did he just magic them away when he was done.” She sounded like she might be upset, although Tony wasn’t sure why.

“No, no… he disinfected everything really well, cleaned everything afterward, made sure he treated anything that broke skin… he was always very careful about that. He took good care of me.” Tony looked at Loki, lying with his arm still wrapped around him. “I’m pretty worried about him right now, though.”

“Good.” She seemed to relax a tiny bit. She gave Loki a measuring look. “Well, I never saw him without his clothes before, but he looks well. What happened?”

“You haven’t?” Tony suddenly felt MUCH better.

“No, Mr. Stark, I have not. However…” she smiled icicles, “I asked you what happened.”

Tony started babbling, “I had a seizure and a heart attack and anyway I was sort of dying... and he showed up and did SOMETHING magic I guess and I was suddenly fine and he was unconscious and I couldn’t even find out what happened or how Natasha knew about it or anything…”

She raised her eyebrow. “So. If this happened at the Stark Building, then what is he doing here?”

Bruce said, “Loki was unconscious as soon as he healed Tony, and it took some time to get everything settled down, but… he wasn’t any better. Loki previously healed very fast. Tony said there were magics on the apartment that would help him heal.”

She nodded slowly.

“So you brought him here, and then what.”

“He started looking better as soon as we were in the apartment, but he hasn’t woken up.“ Bruce looked thoughtfully at Loki.

She flicked a glance at the bed. “And Mr. Stark’s current position?”

Natasha answered as though she was giving a report to Nick Fury. “Loki seemed calmer when Tony was nearby and… talking to him. But when Tony got close enough, Loki threw his arm around him and hasn’t let go,”

Ms. Vivienne looked thoughtful. “While it might be better for Loki to have a comfort object… if he is having any distress, it might be dangerous for anyone breakable to be too close. A quandary.”

Tony blinked at her, “You know, I’ve never heard anyone actually use the word ‘quandary’ in a sentence before…”

“Perhaps if you kept more erudite company, the experience would not be so novel,” she said drily.

Bruce snickered.

“What are you laughing at?” Tony asked. “She just insulted you.”

“No, I’m pretty sure she just insulted YOU.” Bruce continued snickering.

“In any event,“ she said, “I have never been to Mr. Goodfellow’s apartment. I know he drinks tea. Does he have any soup?”

“He somehow survives on fruit… and one Danish, but no soup,” Tony answered.

“There’s a twenty-four-hour buffet around the corner. Someone should get some food for him.” She frowned slightly, “Since he likes tea, if there are any strongly scented teas in the house, we can put on a pot. The smell will be familiar.”

Natasha nodded.

Bruce volunteered to go get the food. “I could do with a bit of fresh air.”

Ms. Vivienne looked at Tony, “Try to keep talking.”

Natasha raised an eyebrow, “That shouldn’t be difficult.”

Tony was once again left in the bedroom with Loki. _Trapped in a bed with a nude Loki sounded a lot more fun than it was._

Unable to think of anything better, Tony began describing his latest project to Loki. Eventually he got into it. Usually his audience wandered off or glazed over; Loki might not say anything, but after a while Tony was a bit wrapped up in explaining it to notice.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "God, she reminds me of Pepper. No, she reminds me of my fantasies about Pepper…"  
> possibly the saddest line i have had to write so far in this series.
> 
> Oh, Ms. Vivienne was annoyed that Loki could apparently just "wish away" any cuts. if thatts the case why was he wastig her time and all the lessons on taking care of things! she was happier once she found out that wasnt the case.


	59. Loki wakes up - Loki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki wakes up in his Apartment and is understandably confused.

_Ugh! It smelled like a stale brew house. No, the… person in his arms… smelled like a stale brew house._ He had a momentary memory of going out drinking with Thor in his youth, or being dragged out drinking with Thor anyway. _No, too small to be Thor… What ?_

_Anthony. This is Anthony._

He opened his eyes reluctantly. He found himself staring at Anthony. Anthony stared back at him. Things started coming back in a rush, although not before he had asked Anthony why he smelled like a cheap brew house.   He had a dizzying moment of half seeing – through Anthony’s memories- himself being smuggled into his apartment.

He had a sudden shock of realization: _Anthony was in pain!_

“Princess, unless you want to be peed on, LET GO!” Tony sounded desperate.

 _Oh._ He let go and Anthony bolted out the door of his bedroom and around the door frame into the bathroom.

_Bedroom. Bathroom. I’m safe. Anthony got me… us… back to my sanctum. Anthony was safe and well._

Loki got up out of bed _. I feel as weak as a newborn_. He was naked, but his clothing appeared to have been folded and put away. _When had Anthony learned to fold anything?_ He leaned on the door-frame to the closet and took several deep breaths…

He got dressed in one of Eric’s suits, rather by habit. He was trying to put his thoughts back together, when his mind focused on an incongruous detail: there were noises in the bathroom –Anthony- but there were also noises in the rest of the apartment; someone besides Anthony was inside his sanctum. He still felt weak, but he was gaining strength quickly. He extended his sanctum’s awareness.

One mind, body, and soul tied to his own: Anthony. _I actually did that? What kind of fool…?_ He shook his head. _Time for regrets later._

One who was brave and sharp and… loyal, but at a distance... with kindness and cruelty woven together in a similar fashion to his own: they had the discipline of a magus, but no power contested against his own. _Who?_

One cipher. A stranger even to themselves, with a desperate need to reach out and a desperate fear of any weakness. Their mind running calculations of death and escape. _Familiar?_

One who loved his Anthony /joined soul more than he loved himself -not only because he did not love himself- and contained within that love was RAGE. _Banner._

_Banner? Here?_

_Then the cipher must be Romanoff._

Anthony. Unknown. Banner. Romanoff.

No, not entirely unknown... he just... couldn’t place them.

_They were inside his sanctum. He was still weak. They could kill him easily._

_They hadn’t killed him. He wasn’t in chains. He was in his sanctum. They must have brought him here._

_Anthony._

_Somehow, Anthony._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just as a heads up, my life continues to be a soap opera and there may be minor delays in posting for the next few days.
> 
> As you might imagine, Loki is a tad confused about why he isn't dead, or in S.H.I.E.L.D. custody, given who seems to be inside his wards.


	60. Introductions - Loki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which everyone is awake and introduced, more or less.
> 
> PRETTY please read the chapter notes.

Loki stood there for a moment after he finished getting dressed. _If they hadn’t killed him or chained him as he slept and healed, there was no reason to think they would now._ He still couldn’t quite bring himself to leave the bedroom. It just felt wrong for anyone else to be in his sanctum, anyone at all.

Almost anyone at all.

Anthony chose that moment to return to the bedroom, banging into the door frame as he did. “Ow! Ok, I have to tell you-“

Loki wondered what the problem was; Anthony was staring at him as though he didn’t expect to see him in his own bedchamber.

Anthony coughed. “Right, I keep forgetting how good you look in a suit.”

 _Oh?_ “I hadn’t realized the effect it had on you, Anthony, I merely dressed in my usual attire.” Loki was unable to keep a grin from stealing over his face as he looked at Anthony’s reactions. “But now that I know, I shall have to take advantage of it.” He moved into Anthony’s space. His pet backed up reflexively, right into the door he had closed behind him.

“You REALLY have to stop backing up without looking, Stark, or were you hoping for another balcony?” Loki purred threateningly at him. He really didn’t have the energy just yet to follow through, but the way Anthony’s pupils blew wide and his breath shattered, he wished he did.

“Damn you, Rudolph…” Anthony breathed out shakily.

“However, gæludýr minn, it is rude to keep our guests waiting.” Loki pulled him gently away from the door and led them out, Anthony’s submission giving him the confidence to face the others.

“Wait, you were out cold, you know other people are here?” Anthony demanded as Loki steered him out of the bedroom.

“Yes, Romanoff and Banner, and one other,” he said and then stopped because his apartment seemed to have shrunk: no, it was just that he wasn’t used to having anyone else IN it.

Romanoff was off to the side near his book case. It made his jaw tighten to think of her so much as LOOKING at his books. _Ah, well, the most dangerous would not open to her touch in any case, but still._ Banner was standing frozen near the kitchen holding a tray with… a lot of tea cups. A lot of very eccentric tea cups… including a few that looked suspiciously knitting oriented.

Loki narrowed his eyes and grated out, “Where did those come from?” at the same time Anthony said, “Ok, now, we’re all friends here…”

Banner was looking a bit ill at ease. Loki immediately put his arm around Anthony protectively. _This room is too small and Banner is on the wrong side of the wards_. He realized Anthony saw the stress as well; apparently Banner seeing him up and well was different than unconscious and a patient.

“Take it easy, Kent; keep the glasses on.” Ms. Vivienne walked calmly out of the kitchen.

_Familiar. Magus level will, but no magic… what was SHE doing here?!_

Banner snorted a laugh and relaxed as Ms. Vivienne walked around him and up to the two of them as though she was walking up to some late arrivals for a board meeting.

Anthony started talking, of course. “So, Ms. Vivienne I’m glad you were able to come over but it turns out we didn’t need-“

Ms. Vivienne held a hand up and Anthony stopped instantly.

Loki ran through about a dozen things to say, but the first thing that came out of his mouth was the most sincere- and truthful- thing he had not intended to say. He looked from her hand to Anthony’s suddenly silent attentiveness.

“How utterly fascinating. Do you think you could teach me how you do that?”

Anthony looked indignant at him. “Hey! I don’t-“

“Possibly. However, more immediately…” she began ticking items off on her fingers: “I have been dealing with a very serious conflict of ethics. While people could certainly make a number of assumptions -based on my replying to an email sent from your address- the emergency nature necessitated my coming here directly, which does rather make it obvious that we have some kind of association. In addition my concern for safety – which I have discussed- overruled my continued silence on a few matters. Do you understand my situation?”

Loki certainly did, unfortunately. While their contract wasn’t magically binding this situation had put her in an impossible position. She had clearly done her best, and he had no intention of letting her believe him angry over it.

“Anthony, Dr. Banner, Miss Romanoff,” Loki began, “I would like to introduce you to my consultant, Ms. Vivienne.”

He sighed slightly. “Ms. Vivienne is my consultant on not killing anyone accidentally.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Ms. Vivienne made a Clark Kent/Superman reference to Banner. In the Marvel Universe, i don't see any reason they wouldn't have comic books about the DC characters... even if i bet some of the details are different.  
> Remember they (Natasha, Bruce, Ms. Vivienne/Carol) have had a bit to talk while Tony was babbling about his latest project into Loki's unconscious ears.  
> yes i may write that up as a separate story in the series, it was fun to script.
> 
> WARNING: heavy psychological /emotional chapters coming up soon. I'll try to give more heads up in the summaries. 
> 
> I am going to do my best to keep the updates on schedule despite my being hurt, but i wanted everyone to know it was possible it may bee delayed.


	61. Given enough rope - Loki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki finds out some unpleasant news. Loki is upset.

Ms. Vivienne nodded. “Unfortunately, Mr. Stark is subject to problems that do not plague Asgardians and denizens of some other realms.” She smiled at Anthony in a distinctly unfriendly fashion, and then turned to Loki. “However, there are some more immediate issues.”

“More immediate issues?” Loki asked, wondering what kind of trouble Anthony was in this time.

“I received an email, from your email address, asking me to call immediately. This implies that your email is no longer secured. I was asked to call a cell phone number that turned out to belong to Tony Stark. Now admittedly he seems to have called me in the hopes that I could offer some advice on dealing with an emergency situation, which I was pleased to do; however, you still needed to know that.”

Loki looked darkly at Anthony. “Indeed I did. Anthony, how did you even get her email?”

“It was in your wallet. What?! You always go through someone’s wallet if they are sick!”

Loki smiled sharply at him, “Do I need to point out that I hadn’t been carrying my wallet? That my wallet was in my closet with my Midgardian clothes?”

Anthony’s glance at Romanoff told him all he needed to know. Of course, she had folded the clothing; he didn’t THINK Anthony knew how.

Loki ran his hand through his hair in frustration. “Thank you, Ms. Vivienne, I shall deal with it. Anthony means well, but he lacks discipline.”

“Oh, I expect you are going to need to deal with a great deal of discipline. That may be the most serious issue to… people outside the lifestyle; however, it is not the most serious problem to me.”

She smiled icicles at Anthony. “Your PET tried to hire me away from you. He offered me triple ‘whatever you were paying me’. I told him no, of course.”

Loki yanked his hand away from Anthony’s shoulder. “You did WHAT?” _How dare he! After everything I’ve done how DARE he._

“Wait, what? THAT’S got you angry?!” Anthony looked bewildered at him.

“It’s not bad enough you went through my wallet; it’s not bad enough that you somehow used my email to get her to call you; you then tried to offer her money to break confidence with me?!”

Anthony was finally looking as if he understood that he was in a small apartment with an angry god. Banner was back to looking alarmed and faintly green. Romanoff had some kind of weapon in hand; Loki didn’t care. He grabbed Anthony by the throat and shook him.

“Loki!” Ms. Vivienne’s voice was crisp and commanding. “WHAT did I tell you about losing your temper?”

Loki growled out, “This is intolerable.”

She stood there, arms folded across her chest, looking annoyed at him. “Put. Him. DOWN.”

Loki reluctantly put Anthony down. He noted sourly that Banner and Romanoff were looking back and forth between them with shocked expressions.

Anthony, who had fallen to the floor, got up and opened his mouth-

Ms. Vivienne poked one exquisitely manicured, and sharp looking, nail into his chest. “Unless it’s your safeword, I don’t want to hear a word from you until Loki gives you leave to speak. Are. We. Clear?”

Anthony opened his mouth to say something, but apparently thought better of it. He nodded.

“Это чудо” Romanoff sounded awed.

Ms. Vivienne turned and smiled pleasantly at Banner. In an entirely different voice than she had been using she said, “I think this may get a bit loud, and you did say you had sensitive hearing.” She walked up to him and said in a firm, soft voice, “Look at me, Bruce.” He did. She stood there looking at his eyes and not apparently doing anything. Eventually, Loki realized that their breathing was falling into synch. She brushed a stray strand of hair out of his face. “Bruce, can you get back to your apartment by yourself? Or do you need someone to take you home?”

“It’s not safe, Loki-”

“Is upset. Yes. I’ll handle it. No one will get hurt. Tony needs to learn better, but I won’t let him get hurt.” She steered Banner to the coat closet and helped him get his things.   He looked almost endearingly worried at Anthony. Loki remembered the impression of him he’d gotten when he woke up, and how much he cared for Anthony.

“Dr. Banner,” Loki said as gently as he could. “I didn’t save his life just to harm him now.” He nodded at Ms. Vivienne. “That’s why I hired her, so I wouldn’t damage him.” He saw Banner’s eyes clear a bit, looking between him and Anthony.

Banner nodded slowly. “I think I’d better go back to the tower.”

He saw Ms. Vivienne hand Banner a card. “I may be able to help you with some breathing exercises, and someone to talk to.” She smiled at him. “Don’t worry about it right now, just keep it in mind.”

She stood by the door, relaxed and smiling softly, until Banner left and the door closed behind him. Loki watched in admiration as her posture stiffened in the time it took her to turn around.

Romanoff said quietly, “That was beautiful.”

“For once, Miss Romanoff, we are in agreement.” Loki was impressed; she had no magic, yet she’d calmed the beast without incident. This needed a great deal more study.

Ms. Vivienne addressed Romanoff in an almost sisterly fashion, “I believe that you understand that Mr. Stark stepped over the line, repeatedly, and needs to face consequences for that?”

His Anthony was about to open his mouth, he could tell. Loki put his hand on his shoulder and squeezed. Anthony decided to hold very still and be quiet. _Excellent decision._ He let Anthony hear him on the link, along with just HOW upset he was.

Natasha smiled at her with a look of wicked anticipation. “Absolutely. May I add that he repeatedly lied to his team mates, endangering his own life by doing so, and concealed a life threatening illness until it was too late to help him? All of this after concealing his sexual activities from anyone on the team, including Bruce, making himself vulnerable to blackmail or worse?”

Ms. Vivienne nodded solemnly. “I’m not surprised. A lifetime lack of structure and discipline won’t be remedied in a weekend, but I shall do my best to assist. I think it would be better if you could wait outside for just a few minutes?”

Natasha nodded. She then turned and looked narrowly at Loki. “Don’t make me regret this more than I already do.” She smiled at Ms. Vivienne, “Let me know if you need something like a cattle prod. I’d already decided he deserved it, and I happen to carry a pair with me.”

Romanoff stepped out into the hallway. Loki felt much happier without those two inside his sanctum.

Ms. Vivienne looked up at Loki. “Never try to administer discipline when you are too angry to do so safely. We discussed that.”

Loki sighed, “Indeed we did. You are quite right.”

Anthony opened his mouth again: Loki wrapped his hand around Anthony’s throat and gave the barest squeeze.

Ms. Vivienne rubbed her forehead. “Is this apartment soundproofed?”

“Completely. Sound can come in, but no one outside can hear anything from us.”

Anthony froze in his grip. Loki could feel genuine fear across the link. _Oh NOW he gets it? Really?_

Ms. Vivienne looked thoughtfully at Anthony. Then she smiled pleasantly at Loki.

“I believe you had asked for a classroom demonstration. Do you have any rope?”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear readers, straight up warnings:  
> you simply CANNOT ave characters this messed up without psychodrama. its right there in the tags. welcome to it. if you are just reading for the smut, please skip to the chapter labeled "Authority Issues" otherwise assume that the next couple of chapters are pretty intense. (although hubby laughed at a few so... there is humor in there.)  
> also lots of exposition explaining stuff, so... there's that.
> 
> as to THIS chapter:  
> why YES Natasha is pissed off about this. she's a pro and can keep her personal interests out of it, but she really has not forgiven Tony for managing to fool her, to LIE to her, (oh yeah and teh team) about expecting LOKI to show up... or about the attraction.. or about the rest of it.  
> left to herself there are some really not sexy fun at all things she would be doing to him to get back at him.
> 
> oh, and a clue? in more than a few chapters she just might get to. snicker


	62. Descent - Loki - Tony

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This begins in Loki's POV, but becomes a combined POV toward the end.

“Hey! What?! First of all I am RIGHT HERE, you know, and secondly I emphatically did NOT agree to anything.” Anthony tried to move away from Loki’s hand. Loki sighed. _This was embarrassing_.

“Anthony Edward Stark, stand still and listen!” Ms. Vivienne’s voice could have sent Thor cowering into a corner. Loki wondered if she actually sounded like HIS mother, or if it was a tone common to many mothers. Anthony did exactly what he would have done upon hearing his full name in that tone of voice: he froze in place and listened. Some portion of Loki’s mind wondered if it was actually a minor true name, or just conditioned response.

“I do hope you will forgive me for my giving orders to your sub, Loki, but I do not believe he actually understands the severity of his actions. Do you think you can explain this, or would you prefer that I try to.”

“I… believe you are better suited to get this across to him, at the moment.”

“Very well.” She narrowed her eyes at Anthony. “Loki has been working with me to ensure that you are safe. Part of my warnings to him have been about you being thrown out of BDSM clubs, and WHY.” Anthony flinched, but she continued. “While both of you have apparently very little concept of boundaries and consent, Loki at least TRIED to respect your boundaries, did he not?”

Anthony opened and closed his mouth a few times. “Ok, yes. He did.”

“Can you honestly say you did the same?”

All the fight went out of him and his shoulder slumped under Loki’s hand. “No. I was going to apologize this weekend but I got sick…”

She continued, “And Loki saved your life, right?”

“Right.”

“Even though that was at considerable risk.”

Anthony had the decency to look guilty, at least. How such a brilliant man could be so stupid Loki could not imagine. He seemed to alternate between being cunning and witty, and being Thor.

Ms. Vivienne put some more presence in her voice, “And while he was unconscious, after saving your life, even after you had behaved very badly last weekend, you went through his things, and then you tried to get me to break my contract with him. “ She looked like she was choosing her words carefully.

“You were asking me to betray his trust.”

Tony’s head came up with a snap and his eyes went wide. “Oh God, no…”

He abruptly collapsed on himself and Loki had to struggle to shift his grip and hold him up.   Anthony was shaking and beginning to sob? _What?_

“Not like them… Oh God… no…” Anthony moaned

Ms. Vivienne nodded as though she was confirming something to herself. “Now as it happens I have been… informed… that your bad habits extend to MOST of your friends and relationships. You have routinely not merely pushed, but run over, others’ limits and ignored their needs. Your behavior, in this case alone, could have very easily cost several lives.

“Note: not just your own, but the lives of your friends… ”

Anthony was hanging completely limp in his arms: nodding in guilty agreement. Whenever their skin touched he could feel guilt and agreement pouring off him in waves. Loki was having trouble keeping his own face impassive. His poet hated himself, at least at this moment, feeling himself to be a monster unworthy of friendship or love. It was like holding up a mirror to his own shame. He disciplined his mind to try to keep any of his own thoughts from leaking through the link.

“Now. Don’t you think you deserve to be punished?”

Anthony just nodded dumbly. Loki was fairly certain he had nodded slightly too, he prayed Ms. Vivienne didn’t look up from Anthony’s face.

“Do you think you would actually learn better WITHOUT being punished?”

Anthony shook his head. _We are far too much alike, my Rose._

“Then are you going to submit to the punishment that Loki decides on, so that you can settle matters between you two? Bearing in mind there will likely be problems involving other people that you will have to deal with separately.”

Anthony just nodded. He looked completely broken. Loki wasn’t certain what more any punishment could do.

Ms. Vivienne took a deep breath. “Now, before this goes any further I am going to clarify something. I am doing this as a responsible adult…” Loki swore he could hear the ‘unlike you two’ underneath the words “… and I am trying to keep everyone informed enough to actually give consent.”

She pointed to a chair. “Please sit down, Loki.” When Anthony looked around for a chair she simply stated “On your knees, on the floor, next to Loki.” He looked uncomfortable, but complied. Loki wouldn’t have been surprised if he had done that in private, just the two of them, but was a bit surprised he would do so in front of a witness.

“I have a mutual confidant in a related field. We meet occasionally to discuss our work, under confidentiality. In order to ensure actual confidentiality we do not mention names, and in some cases we deliberately misstate genders or details. There should be no way for either of us to recognize the client the other is speaking about.”

Loki had a very unsettling feeling about this. “You spoke about our arrangement?”

“Mostly I spoke about how difficult it was to deal with a potentially unsafe client who was into dangerous play…” she took a deep breath, “and how much he reminded me of myself, after some consideration.”

Loki blinked. _I wasn’t expecting THAT_. “I do?”

Anthony was staring back and forth between them in surprise as Ms. Vivienne continued: “Yes, in a few ways. I spent most of our very private meeting coming to terms with how my client’s situation reminded me of the first time I confronted the fact that I BOTH cared about someone, and wanted to hurt them. It’s a very difficult thing to realize your nature, who you are as a person, is something that most people will never accept.”

His Anthony might have flinched, but Loki didn’t notice. He felt the room spinning.

Monster... Unworthy... Never good enough…

He distantly heard Ms. Vivienne’s voice, but it didn’t matter. He deserved nothing better than the void, and pain.

 

He slowly realized that there was someone else in the empty darkness with him. Their pain had been so like his own he hadn’t realized they were there at first.

_Loki?_

_Anthony?_

_Loki? Oh God, you TOO?_

He reached out and brushed against another’s thoughts:

_A father who could never stop comparing him to his perfect elder ‘sibling’. The ‘brother’ –Rogers- constant praise and pride in the father that loved him. Him, never me._

_Never good enough._

_No matter what._

_Dirty inside. Broken. Weak._

_I could do so much, have so much power... uncertain, afraid, because his judgment was always wrong. Except sometimes he forgot, and he ran ahead in certainty and he WAS wrong, he was selfish, he hurt people…_

_He was no hero._

_Damn it, Yinsen…_

_You need discipline, yes, but you ARE a hero._

Loki pulled him in closer, and let him see.

_A golden brother… the father who never saw any fault with Thor… he was never good enough... no matter what. Even when he was put justly on the throne, his perfect brother’s friends betrayed him, and even after all that they went unpunished._

_After all he wasn’t really a king, he never would be._

_Dirty inside. Jotun. Unworthy._

And then it was the void… Anthony had gotten a glimpse of that in the battle, at the end.  

 

Their thoughts merging…

_Thanos making him into a weapon, a tool for destruction._

_Raza and Stane making him into a weapon, a tool for destruction._

And then their thoughts were one…

 

_YOU ARE SO MUCH STRONGER THAN I AM…_

_Never again._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> seriously Lki and Tony are so much alike. Both desperate for their father's approval. Both betrayed by their second father's (Obie, Odin). Both used as tools along the way, Both tending to be arrogant and self centered (and mostly as a defense mechanism since you CANNOT trust anyone else), Both insanely talented geeks (tech/magic) with super jocks for older brothers ( Rogers/Thor) and both with personal kinks and interests that are considered unacceptable by anyone else.
> 
> oh, it was the last line spoken by Ms. Vivienne: " It’s a very difficult thing to realize your nature, who you are as a person, is something that most people will never accept." that sent BOTH the over stressed, high tension, linked together boys into a baad crash. it might not have done it but it hit BOTH of them at once.


	63. And then they woke up...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Both Loki and Tony's POV are represented here.

“I think they may be coming around…” Natasha’s voice came from a long way away.

Tony groaned and opened his eyes. He was lying on his side, his hands clasped in Loki’s hands. A groan came from Loki and his hands twitched.

Loki opened his eyes to see a pair of high heels, next to Anthony’s head. He was holding Anthony’s hands. He groaned and tried to sit up.

They both looked around in confusion. Ms. Vivienne was right there, looking relieved, and Natasha was just a bit further removed, also looking relieved.

“If I had to tell Dr. Banner that you got killed by accident while I was here, I was going to dig you up and kill you again,” Natasha said firmly to Tony. “Are you ok?”

“Yeah.” Tony looked over at Loki, “That was really dumb, you know.”

Loki stood up, not letting go of his hands.

He looked at Anthony and pulled him up to his feet, “No, it was foolish. There is a distinction.”

They stood there for a moment looking at each other. Loki finally coughed and pulled his hands slightly away.

“As glad as I am that nothing got broken-this time- would anyone care to let me know what happened?” Ms. Vivienne was watching them intently. “You both evidently had some kind of a breakdown, and then went under completely. I called Natasha back in, but neither of you were responsive at all.”

Loki sat back down in the chair and gratefully accepted a mug of tea.

Tony took up a standing position just behind Loki and looked at the tea he was handed in dismay. “Tea? You sincerely drink just tea? No coffee?”

Loki shook his head and then smiled amusedly as he sipped his tea. The two women were looking at each other in only barely readable confusion.

Tony patted Loki’s shoulder and put his tea cup down on the table. “Loki, as a coffee drinker I gotta tell you this: I love you deeply and our kinks match up to perfection, but mixed marriages never work.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a very short chapter, i know. I will try to upload the next chapter tonight if i can, but no promises.
> 
> oh, and its not true... i know several mixed coffee/tea drinker marriages, but it does mean you need a lot more trust and a great deal of willingness to adapt. (only partly joking, although yes thats a poly joke)


	64. Assent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony's POV

Tony kept his hand on Loki’s shoulder as long as he could. _It was going to be really weird NOT being in link with him after this._

“Natasha, you said we had company at the tower, right?”

She frowned slightly, “Yes, we do… very annoyed company.”

“Tell Nicky boy that I’ll be home in -“ he looked over at Ms. Vivienne, “How much time do you think your class demo and recovery is going to take?”

Ms. Vivienne looked slightly perplexed; judging from Loki’s impressions of her, that was saying a lot.

“Several hours at least.”

Tony lost track of what he had been going to say. The images in Loki’s mind of him tied up in rope… _hours… oh my_ …

“Focus, elskan mín.” Loki smirked into his tea.

 _God damn his green eyes, he knew what ‘Focus’ did to him._ “I hate you,” he snarled.

Loki reached up and patted the hand resting on his shoulder. “Yes, I know. And I’m in a suit with a tie on that can be used in SO many interesting ways…”

Tony swayed slightly and moaned in the back of his throat.

Ms. Vivienne looked very amused. “Loki, I believe there was some information we were trying to exchange here.”

“Ah, my apologies. Do go on, Anthony,” Loki said calmly.

_He was SO not sorry._

“Right. Nat, tell everyone that I will be there in several hours. If anyone needs a nap, go get it.   Have Thor or someone go out and get at least two bottles of mead.   I want this under formal hospitality, tell Thor if you have to, but do NOT tell him why, or who.”

Tony looked thoughtfully at Ms. Vivienne. “Unfortunately you have now gotten involved with super-secret spy shit. This is not exactly safe.”

Natasha spoke up, “I was going to arrange to do her debriefing myself…”

“Yeah, that might help, but it might not. Loki?” Tony handed off the conversation.

Loki smoothly continued, “Ms. Vivienne, Anthony and I agreed that it would be safer for you if you were an official employee of some company that he has strong interests in. It would enable you to have Stark Industries security, among other things. I have been greatly impressed with your capabilities, and think you would be an asset to almost any company. Stark Industries also offers a comprehensive educational package, and I know that graduate school is not inexpensive.”

Ms. Vivienne looked like she had been knifed.

Before she could protest Tony picked up, “You wouldn’t be working for me directly, just some company I own or have a strong interest in. I was thinking, however that Pepper would probably be the best person for you to talk to about that. You see, Loki is still going to want advice, and frankly it seems like you might be the first therapist I could talk to who could actually handle the things I have to talk about.”

Natasha looked much happier. “A secure job, where I could keep an eye on you, would go a long way toward keeping everyone happy about this… and having a therapist who isn’t a security concern would be ideal. Tony has refused to speak to any S.H.I.E.L.D. therapists…”

“That’s because I like my therapists to NOT be handing off reports to someone.” Tony felt his mood souring already.

Loki stood up. “In any event, no decision is needed immediately. What IS needed immediately is for Ms. Romanoff to get things under way back at the tower for Anthony to return.” He looked at his watch. “If it would be possible, try to convince them to wait for an early lunch meeting? That should allow for Anthony getting some sleep.”

Natasha looked back and forth between the two of them. “I know you didn’t discuss any of this before, but right now you two are acting like you’ve been working together for years.” She frowned. “It’s eerie at best, and highly suspicious.”

Loki sighed faintly. “Yes well, that’s partially my fault- in the sense that I knew better and did it anyway- and partially an unexpected complication. IF you will kindly get Anthony a cup of coffee so he will settle down, I can try to explain.”

***

Tony sipped his coffee and contemplated the fact that Loki drank tea. It didn’t make sense, really, but there it was: the guy actually disliked coffee. _He must never have had a good cup of coffee, that’s all_.

Loki was saying, “This will likely be explained in more detail to everyone later, but since I doubt Ms. Vivienne wants to be dragged into this, I will give the short summary for the two of you now.”

“Hey, Reindeer Games, short means short. Like human short, not Asgard short.”

“I still have a gag, Anthony, and it will be shorter if you don’t interrupt.” Loki sipped his damned perfume scented tea and went on, “The magics I used to save Anthony’s life were not simply a healing magic. That would have taken far too much time, and when I got there we didn’t have any to spare. In brief, I linked the two of us, which also gives us some measure of communication.”

Loki turned his head thoughtfully back toward Tony. Tony immediately put his hand back on Loki’s shoulder. It was more comfortable anyway, touching him.

Loki continued, “When we both collapsed, we were in skin contact. I can explain more later, but suffice it to say that when BOTH of us lost our mental defenses, at the same time, over the same kind of issues, the contact became almost unbearably complete. It’s fading now, but for however long that was we were sharing thoughts. “

Natasha looked like she was thinking.

Ms. Vivienne tilted her head to the side and asked, “So that’s why you apparently regained consciousness with a working plan to hire me as a therapist or an assistant to Pepper Potts?”

Tony nodded. “Pepper is a wonderful woman, and any guy would be lucky to have her.” He sighed, “Any vanilla guy.”

“Ah.” said Ms. Vivienne. She looked sincerely sympathetic.

Natasha nodded, “Her reactions earlier told me a lot. I should have known before, really. “

Tony shrugged. “We’ve gotten REALLY good at covering up, but as it happens one of the things I have to talk to dear old Grandpa Nick about is the stuff Loki knows about some problems inside S.H.I.E.L.D. That’s all stuff we don’t need to bother Ms. Vivienne with, however.”

Natasha nodded. She got her things and went to the door. “I’ll head back to the tower then and get things started.” She went out the door with a quiet, “I’ll call you later, Vivienne.”

Ms. Vivienne looked back at them after the door shut and smiled. It was entirely unlike the smiles Tony had gotten from her before: this one was warm and genuinely friendly.

“I really like her.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well Tony certainly seems to have gained a lot of confidence. its amazing what a kind of intense group therapy session for two will do, isnt it.
> 
> and among other things, as mentioned, Tony has been seeing Loki's images of him all tied up in rope.... so looks like there will be a shibori/rope bondage session before they go back to the tower. grin.
> 
> and yes, the title "Assent" is a play on the word "ascent" which is a pun based on the prior chapter heading. its also true, LASt time rope was mentioned Tony said he most emphatically did NOT give consent. this time he did.


	65. Correlation is not Causation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there is discussion about confusing correlation for causation. Also knitting.

“You…LIKE? Natasha?” Tony was trying to decide if that was a good thing or not. I mean, Nat was a teammate, and she had backed him up with this whole mess, but it seemed like a bad idea somehow.

“She’s very warm,” Ms. Vivienne said, nodding.

Tony choked on his coffee. Loki was staring at his tea like it was responsible for that sentence somehow.

Loki cleared his throat softly. “Warm is not the word I would usually think of with Ms. Romanoff. Although I am pleased that you seem to be doing well with both of the Avengers, since they assisted Anthony in getting me here.”

“Bruce is a teddy bear, and Natasha needs to come to knit night,” Ms. Vivienne said firmly. “Actually, maybe they both do.”

Loki had apparently tried to inhale his tea, and was trying to breathe; he wasn’t laughing, though.

Tony wasn’t sure what ‘knit night’ was a code for... then he froze. “Wait… do you mean like actual KNITTING? No, no, that’s a bad thing. That’s a very bad thing. Natasha has enough sharp pointy things without giving her skewers!”

“Why,” Loki asked in a strangled voice, “do you think they should come to our knit night?”

“Wait… what do you mean ‘our knit night’?” Tony dragged his mind over the shared thoughts and memories; nothing about knitting except… _Ranting Hat Lady? And… infiltrating something? And Ms. Vivienne was there… and her name was Carol._

“You don’t look like a Carol…” Tony tried to bring himself back.

Ms. Vivienne was staring at him. “That bond must be fascinating.” She sounded like fascinating was a code for ‘annoying as fuck’. “Yes, my mundane name is Carol. I take it your shared information doesn’t cover knit night?”

Tony shook his head and looked at Loki, who was dabbing tea spots off his tie. “No,” Tony said, “just that you were at something with knitting, your name is Carol, and it has something to do with Ranting Hat Lady.”

She arched an eyebrow expressively.

Loki sighed, “Sarah. He didn’t know her name so he called her ‘Ranting Hat Lady’. Apparently the Jayne hat stood out.”

“You women and your eyebrows,” Tony huffed. “Seriously, do they make you take a course? Or is it like a second language you pick up?”

For some reason Loki and Ms. Vivienne were both staring at him.

“What? They communicate by eyebrows, I’ve seen it. I may be male but I AM a genius. Pepper and Natasha have had whole conversations by eyebrow semaphore. That’s how they got me out of the infirmary.”

Loki was still just staring at him, but Ms. Vivienne was covering her mouth and starting to giggle. Nervous from him figuring out the secret language, he guessed.

“So do Asgardian women do that too? Or is it a Midgard thing?”

Loki closed his mouth finally and said, “I believe that some women in Asgard have also perfected the secret language of the eyebrow- my mother among them- but it was one of the few things I was never instructed in.”

Tony knew he was joking, playing along with him, but he had such a deadpan, dry delivery when he wanted to. _Man, they were going to destroy the next big charity gala between the two of them._

“I’m serious, Dancer.” He wasn’t, exactly, and he knew Loki could tell. “Women are like a different race… they have this whole eyebrow language thing- some of them anyway- and if they learn to knit they develop telepathy. Natasha doesn’t need telepathy.”

Ms. Vivienne actually laughed out loud at that.

Loki got that deranged glint in his eye and grinned, “You know, Anthony, you have just hit on the one thing I think I have to agree with.”

“That Natasha doesn’t need telepathy?”

“That knitting induces it.”

Ms. Vivienne was smirking; it was a pretty impressive evil smirk, too. “You’re both wrong. It’s just that only gifted, intelligent, potentially telepathic, advanced members of the race are attracted to knitting.”

“Ah? So I’m mistaking causation for correlation?” Tony was once again reminded of the fact that he was attracted to intelligent, witty people, damn it. At least with Loki right here she was only being mildly distracting.

“Somewhat. Either it’s simply correlation or, at the least, you have causation in the wrong place, Mr. Stark. It’s superior people who knit, not knitting that causes superior people.”

Loki held up his hands. “If I surrender, will you stop?”

“Sure, sorry,” said Tony immediately.

“That depends.” Ms. Vivienne looked at them both with a sadistic gleam that made Tony’s dick sit straight up and beg. “Have we established that as your safeword?”

Tony hung onto Loki’s shoulder for balance. Loki reached up and patted his hand again and stopped. He looked over his shoulder at Tony and grinned. _Oh dear God, I know that grin: that is a very, very bad, evil, wonderful, grin._

“Why, Anthony,” he purred, “Are you possibly thinking of anything you shouldn’t be? I already told you, gæludýr minn, I don’t share.”

“Maybe,” Tony gulped. His erection was painfully hard.

“What a shame. Do you suppose you need to be tied up to keep you from running off like the untrained pet that you are?” Loki pulled him casually around and into his lap.

Tony thought that sounded incredible. “Well, you did say something about ropes. A lot, actually, about ropes…”

Loki pulled Tony’s head back by his hair and growled into his ear, “I will have you begging and pleading in my name until you cannot remember your own, much less anyone else’s.”

Tony felt himself sliding down into a warm haze. “Th-that… sounds…” He closed his eyes and moaned. _Fuck talking_. He turned his head and sought out Loki’s mouth as if he could drink that voice and those threats right down. Eventually, Loki pulled his lips away but his hand was doing wonderful things and Tony simply couldn’t bring himself to move.

Loki was asking Ms. Vivienne about ropes. _That sounded like a wonderful idea._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you go back many chapters you will find out that Loki had indeed wondered if knitting caused telepathy.  
> the secret of K.N.I.T. and what it stands for is still safe....


	66. Authority Issues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> be careful what you wish for.  
> Tony, unfortunately, has a lot of bad habits going along with his kinks.

After a very short amount of time, Tony changed his mind: this was a horrible idea. Ms. Vivienne spent an eternity demonstrating various ties. Tony had to stand still, or lie still, or… bend over really oddly still, while she showed Loki pictures in books and demonstrated knots. It didn’t take long for Tony to lose his patience.

“Anthony, please, I am attempting to learn this.” Loki had started out sounding calm a few different leg bindings ago, but this time he was growling.

“And that,” said Ms. Vivienne, who sounded suspiciously cheerful, “is where we stop, because you are both getting far too upset.”

“I’m not upset!” Loki snarled.

“I am! It’s been forever and it isn’t any FUN!” Tony totally did not yell.

“Well, I had wondered, but while it’s obvious your bonding exercise helped you both, you still have some issues to work on.” Ms. Vivienne smiled pleasantly at them. Tony wondered how the hell he had ever found the smug harpy attractive.

“I suggest that Mr. Stark take a quick shower, while Loki makes a fresh pot of tea. Then we can go over some safety rules and get down to some more… fun.” She managed to make that sound vaguely threatening, but Tony didn’t care.

He stalked off to the bathroom.

_God damned pushy… how dare she order me around as if she was Pepper or something?... Why does Loki even listen to her?..._

It wasn’t until he was drying off that he realized: _Loki hadn’t told him to take a shower._ He hadn’t objected, but he hadn’t said to do so. She ordered him around because he let her. _Oh._

“Should I bother getting dressed?” he called out.

Ms. Vivienne called back, “No.”

Tony put his hand on the door knob and stopped. _I’m doing it again._ Tony gritted his teeth. “Should I bother getting dressed, LOKI?”

Loki’s amused voice drifted back through the door: “No… And you’re learning.”

He stalked out with as much dignity as he could muster while wearing nothing but a towel. Luckily he had practice at this, so he stalked with a lot of dignity- at least he did until he saw Loki, because then he had to stop.

Loki was standing in the middle of the room. He had pulled off his tie, and loosened the top button of his shirt. Tony would have been dazzled by him just like that, but there was one added thing that brought his adrenaline up and sent a wave of heat to his crotch: Loki was holding a bundle of rope, with one end swinging lazily by his side like a whip.

“Where do you want me?” Tony managed to ask, even though his mouth felt dry.

“Kneeling at my feet, of course,” Loki flashed that psychopathic grin, and then he lowered his voice and snarled, “where I’ve always wanted you, Stark.”

Tony honestly couldn’t remember how he got from standing near the bathroom door to kneeling at Loki’s feet.

Ms. Vivienne walked over from somewhere; Tony had completely forgotten she was there. “I’ll be taking some of things back to Sarah’s apartment. That will give you some privacy and also keep me nearby enough to assist if there is a problem. However, I need you both to listen to me for a moment.”

She looked back and forth at them both, and then addressed Loki directly. “Tony has a very bad track record of not using his safeword. I HOPE that he has learned a bit better, but you cannot count on that. I am trusting that the connection you explained to me will let you know if he has any trouble breathing, or undue pain.”

Loki nodded. “It will, since I know to pay attention.”

“Since I know you have a knife, you DO understand where to cut the ropes for a quick release?”

He looked amused. “Certainly.” He gestured with a knife in his other hand.

Tony was glad he was kneeling already.

“This is partly for his benefit, so he knows as well,” she said.

Tony just wanted to get ON with it. _There was a suit-wearing Loki with a ROPE and a KNIFE here, dammit, stop yammering on about stuff!_

“You both have serious trust and authority issues, you know, and whether you like it or not, rope bondage is going to make you work on that.”

Tony bit back a remark about not having any issues, because honestly he DID have trust and authority issues, and so did Loki, and they both knew it.

“How will this help both of us?” Loki asked her curiously.

“Well,” she said carrying a tray full of utensils and coffee mugs to the door, “Tony has to learn to trust someone who has absolute authority and control over him…

“And you have to learn to be trusted with it.”

The door closed behind her, and Tony was alone… in Loki’s sanctum… naked… on his knees… with Loki holding a rope and a knife.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> do i need to tell you that the next two chapters are explicit?  
> still some dialogue, mind you, you can't shut those two up, really.  
> oh, and in case you hadnt noticed... YES Loki reverts to calling him "Stark" when he wants to trigger Tony's fear/adrenaline response. It works. he did it when he first woke up in the bedroom , too.


	67. Assumptions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki has always been very clear about what he wanted...

Loki smiled down at him and said, “Hands behind your back.”

Tony put his hands behind his back the way Ms. Vivienne had been demonstrating: forearms crossing behind his back, each hand at the opposite arm’s elbow. She’d gone over it enough times that Tony could do it in his sleep. It was the safest and easiest behind the back arm restraint, after all.

“No, I have something different in mind.” Loki’s voice purred. He loved it when Loki purred like that, it was a growl that was swallowed in the back of his throat and it was the sexiest thing ever. It was sex over scotch.

“Clasp your hands behind your back, and hold your arms straight.”

Tony did just that, of course. _He was just going to tie his wrists?_ Loki looped a rope around his chest several times. That was as they had practiced, trying to get a supportive halter tie that didn’t put pressure on his arc reactor, or cut into his already limited breathing. Then he took the rope and started on Tony’s arms.

 _Oh!_ Tony could feel him lacing the rope between his arms, anchoring his arms to the chest bindings-somehow without limiting his motion- lacing back and forth, and pulling snug with every knot. That… that was advanced work; Tony had seen pictures. He knew Loki loved that look, but … “I thought Ms. Vivienne just showed you that for decoration, not…” He was having trouble talking, what with all the blood rushing to his crotch. His arms were immobilized from his wrists to above his elbows.

He had decided to take a minute to catch his breath when Loki grabbed the trailing rope and lifted his arms up; since Loki wasn’t letting him get off his knees, he ended up face down into the carpet. His arms being pulled up behind his back should have hurt, but it didn’t. Most of his weight was still on his knees, but the rest? Tony’s arms were only taking some of it; the rest was being supported by his chest and shoulders.

Ass up in the air; face into the carpet; arms immobilized behind his back and slightly lifted: he was completely helpless. Tony tried not to panic… or purr.

Loki moved his legs further apart and started working on Tony’s ankles.

“What… what are you doing?” Tony finally managed to put words to his questions. Not great words, but words.

“Is that a trick question?” Loki sounded amused. “I’m restraining you so that I can do whatever I want without you being able to do anything to stop me.”

 _That really shouldn’t be such a turn on. Really_. “Yeah, well you’re doing it all behind my back.”

“Yes. I may do more behind your back soon enough.” Loki was doing something behind him, and, no matter how he twisted, he couldn’t see what it was.

His ankles were spread apart by rope way more than Tony liked. _Ok, a rope based spreader bar, simple enough._ “Um… can you maybe let that off a bit, it’s too wide for me.”

“No.” Loki sounded so damned amused.

Loki reached between his legs and slipped a rope around Tony’s cock.

“OK! Stop.”

“Whatever makes you think I’m going to STOP?” Loki sounded as if he was genuinely puzzled, then spoiled it by snickering. He was lacing the rope around some very sensitive areas, repeatedly, and tying KNOTS. Lots of knots… in a ladder down Tony’s cock.

“I thought you didn’t know how to do this, this isn’t safe, we were just supposed to do basic stuff-“ Tony stopped talking with a yelp as Loki brought the rope ties behind his balls and bent his erection painfully over backward. “FUCK!”

Loki pulled the ropes between Tony’s ass cheeks, spreading him apart, and tied the ropes off somewhere on his back. Tony tried to twist and shuddered to a stop, gasping for air. Any attempt to move that way was pulling his dick further down, and pulling his balls painfully. Tightening the stranglehold on his erection. He whimpered.

Loki walked around in front of him; all Tony could see was his shoes. He tried to lift his head and immediately stopped. THAT kind of motion pulled his ass cheeks further apart.

“Loki… Loki this isn’t fun.” Tony could move, but every movement made his predicament worse. “You didn’t know how to do this…”

“Ah, I see your mistake, elskan mín; it’s the same mistake you made when you invited me to your penthouse.”

“What?” Tony tried to lift his head again, and dropped his head back onto the carpet when the ropes spread him open again. “Not having a good time here, seriously.” Unfortunately, a very traitorous part of his body WAS having a good time, and, as he got harder, the ropes got tighter.

“You ASSUMED that by tricking me into hospitality I couldn’t get what I wanted, and I would go away. Just like you assumed- and I suppose so did Ms. Vivienne- that because I didn’t know how to tie the ropes in such a pleasing fashion, that I wasn’t familiar with bindings or knots.”

Loki walked back around him out of sight. Tony fought to stay still.

“I am quite familiar with ropes, bindings, and knots. I admit to being new to their use in such a decorative fashion, but I learn quickly. This is quite simplistic compared to the images I have seen… but I think you saw those in my mind…”

Tony’s mind flew back to the images Loki held of him tied, with diamonds and spider web patterns biting into his skin, spread apart to be taken or restrained tightly in patterns like snake skin or fish scale _. Ok, compared to that this was pretty basic._

Tony panted into the carpet, “Everything is getting tighter.”

Loki suddenly sounded like the old Loki again. “Oh it hasn’t even STARTED to get interesting, Stark…” Cool liquid dripped over his ass, and Loki started exploring his butt hole. He pushed a finger in and started doing insanity inducing things to him.

Tony moaned and pushed back into the finger, and the ropes tried to pull him apart. “AAAGH!”

“Then hold still,” Loki laughed at him. _He had to be kidding, right?_

Loki moved another slick finger into him and started making scissoring, twisting motions.

“I’m sorry, I’m really sorry, you have to stop, seriously. You have to-“ Tony cut off with a whine as Loki added a third finger, and then spread them slowly apart. Tony bucked in the ropes and the ropes SQUEEZED him.

Tony started cursing. He called Loki every name he could think of. Loki just continued stretching him apart; he wasn’t even doing anything fun anymore, it was almost clinical- like ‘how far apart can I make these ropes pull Tony’s butt cheeks, while I spread him open with my fingers’ clinical.

Tony was alternating biting the carpet with suggesting that Loki had engaged in unnatural acts with badgers, when he suddenly pulled his fingers out.

His relief was short lived when Loki started adding more lubricant to his ass.

“You… you can’t screw me like this… you can’t!” Tony cringed when he heard how he sounded: meek and spooked.

“Oh, I’m not.” Loki said calmly. _Thank God, right. He just wanted to teach me a lesson, ok, good job…_ ”Not yet.”

Loki slid some kind of dildo into him and strapped it in place. Tony held very, very still.

Loki moved around to the recliner and sat down. Tony could just see him out of his peripheral vision- just. _The bastard had a tea cup. He was sitting down in his recliner with a tea cup!_

Tony started cursing him out again: “You God damned cheating –“ He stopped with a yelp as his arms were pulled higher.

“Oh, I always ‘cheat’, Stark. I play the rules, sometimes exactly. I told you, I give my word very rarely and I always keep it.

“So let me explain exactly what’s going on, shall I? Since you, my dear genius, seem to be appallingly dense sometimes.” He sipped his tea. Tony hated him, and hated his tea, and hated ropes, and…

“You made several serious mistakes, Stark. First, you assumed that hospitality would chase me off. As I explained, it simply meant I couldn’t kill you, or do you serious harm. Luckily for you, I had already decided my interests were more… personal. Then you assumed that hospitality would still be in place when I would come back the next weekend; It wasn’t, and it isn’t. Even your clever Jarvis missed that fact.”

 _Wait, hospitality wasn’t in force?_ “You can’t break Hospitality-“ Tony started yelping.

“Oh, I could, but I WON’T. However, I had been your guest for our discussion… last weekend. And I abided by those terms, and then I LEFT, Stark. I left your home, and your hospitality, and I was gone from Sunday-Monday at the latest- to Friday.   No one expects formal truces to last forever, do they? They usually end once your guest leaves the house. In our case, I was gone for far longer than three days.” Loki finished his tea and put the cup down. “Three days away from my host being the longest that even the most stringent rules could expect hospitality to bind me for.”

Tony felt his last shreds of safety dissolve _. No, of course hospitality ended when he left, or at best a few days later. It would HAVE to be renewed when he returned._

He clung to the one thing he was certain of: “You… you wouldn’t harm me. You care, I know you do.”

“Oh, let us be blunt, Stark: I love you.” Loki picked up something from next to his tea cup.

Tony never knew confusion could have a palpable feel. In this case, it felt like ropes pulling him apart and wrapping around his balls.

“Then… why…” Tony tried to shift, to ease the pressure of the ropes, and it drove the dildo deeper into him.

“Because you need to understand just how foolish you are. I wanted to kidnap you, skáld mín, to bring you to my stronghold where no one could ever take you away from me. To have you for my own, only my own. To take you apart until you were utterly mine, until you writhed and begged and pleaded with me to take you because you would die without me.   I couldn’t do that under hospitality. I couldn’t take you away from your home, or your servant with the alarms, or your heavily armed friends, or my… or Thor.”

He leaned forward, putting himself more into Tony’s vision. Tony dragged his face across the carpet to clear his eyes. He was sweating already, his muscles tensing under the strain.

“Oh. I see. You… you couldn’t do that. Right… but you saved my life.” _He didn’t have to do that. He had NEVER had to do that. Hospitality wasn’t the reason…_

“You’re mine, Stark. If you’d been safely kidnapped and bound by me, you would never have become so ill. I should never have had to bind us as I did. I can’t regret my actions, though; you’re worth it.”

Tony was sure he was missing something; something important. “Then… why?”

“I wanted you bound and helpless in my absolute possession, Stark. I wanted to have you where no one could hear you scream, and make you scream my name. I wanted to have you where no one could rescue you from me.”

He pressed a button on the little object in his hand, and Tony felt a vibration start inside him. _Oh dear God that was a vibrator?_

“I wanted all those things, Stark, and you thought you were so clever with your tricks and your mead, and then…” Loki laughed and turned the vibrations up again, “and then you DELIVERED yourself to me.” He turned the vibrations up yet again, and Tony felt an orgasm building, but he couldn’t move and the ropes were straining against him in every direction. He was being forced open, and the vibrations were driving him insane. His cock was bent over and swollen and demanding and the ropes wouldn’t give, and every time he moved he was squeezed tighter.

Loki had gotten up and moved behind him again. Tony could just feel Loki’s hand on his ass. He wanted to kick, and buck, and twist; but he couldn’t move, and he wanted to scream…

“Go ahead and scream, Elskan skáld mín. No one can hear you except me.”

Tony’s world dissolved as he came and screamed and the ropes wouldn’t let him find release.

“Just scream my name.”

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> everyone makes so many assumptions... really.
> 
> P.S. thee is a lot Tony can't see, owing to his position. like the fact that the rope is anchoring to mid air over his head (magic, isnt it wonderful? they are in Loki's sanctum) and yes, i assure you, Loki cleaned his hands off before he sat down with his tea!


	68. One at a time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony's POV... which may be a bit incoherent.

 

Tony screamed Loki’s name. He tried to curse but Loki simply turned up the vibrator. He orgasmed over and over, but never actually came. Some distant part of his mind managed to scrape up the idea that he should beg; he begged.

“Tell me what you want, Stark.” A coolly amused voice floated past him.

The problem was, he couldn’t figure out what to say. Every time a thought drifted by he grasped for it and it slithered away, leaving him with nothing but “Please… Loki… please…” and whimpering. He couldn’t remember what he was asking for anymore.

…

Sparkling crystal and honey syrup moved through his mind. His body was somewhere else, and he was thinking…

_‘I am going to carve my name on your skin… I will draw runes of binding on you in your own blood… You will be utterly mine… but before that… I will make you beg…’ Those were the first things Loki promised. Tony wondered if he just hadn’t had enough begging. No… ah, utterly mine. No, no, he hadn’t been. He was obeying someone else, he was attracted to someone else…and Loki was right there. Loki had said he didn’t share. Tony knew Loki didn’t share. He was far too insecure. Trust issues, they both had trust issues._

_…_

Tony vaguely realized something was touching his lips. Through the crystal haze he realized: _Loki_. He parted his lips and took Loki into his mouth. His mouth was dry from begging and his throat was sore from screaming, and Loki was like ice-cream in his mouth.

He realized that he’d never done anything while he was this far down, before. Loki wanted him to do something, to participate somehow; others had just used his body while he was far away. He tried to make his body obey, if only just his tongue.

_Time moved so slowly…_

Loki stroked in and out of his mouth- it took hours, or seconds- Tony balmed his aching throat with Loki’s cock: it was cool and wet. He ran his tongue over it, and tasted wintergreen and syrup. He lapped at it moistened his lips. Loki pushed into him, and Tony let him move down his throat, soothing the ache from the screams. Loki pulled away and Tony tried to follow, but he couldn’t. He felt a brushing contact by his cheek: _Loki_. He rubbed his cheek against him and took him back into his mouth. He pulled Loki in with his tongue and his mouth, and tried to form words as Loki soothed his throat again.

Some eternity later his arms were let down. Someone was rubbing circles on his back and arms, down his sides, and across his back. It felt wonderful, but he didn’t remember where he was. He thought it was important somehow, and then that drifted away too.

He was just beginning to remember that his name was Tony Stark when the pain returned from the haze. He tried to arch away from the strangling pain around his cock, but that made it worse; he finally curled up around it, which spread him open but relieved some of the tension.

“Can you hear me again?” _Loki… That was Loki._

He managed a semi-articulate whine.

“Do you remember forcing yourself on me last weekend?” Loki was asking him. Tony wanted to curse and scream. Tony bit his lip until it bled.

“Do you know why that was a very bad idea?” Loki was rubbing his fingers around Tony’s asshole, he just shook his head.

 _Words, he could remember words_ : “Sorry…” came out, and “Please…”

“I told you that my stamina was more than yours, didn’t I? And that because of some unpleasantness it now took me even LONGER to find release?”

Loki was petting him down there. Tony was convinced that his dick and balls were going to explode. “Loki…”

Loki leaned forward and whispered, oh so very quietly, in Tony’s ear: “This isn’t half the length of time it usually takes me.”

Tony was still trying to process that when Loki pulled the bindings from his ankles. He immediately curled into a ball around his cock. The ropes were trying to split his ass apart, but he didn’t care- until he did, because Loki squeezed more lubrication into his gaping ass and pushed into him. Slowly, very slowly.

Tony begged again, very sincerely, if incoherently.

“More… please… god… Loki…” he pleaded, until he forgot how to form words again.

…

He could feel himself filling up, an insanely slow movement, becoming full.

…

_He was going to dissolve._

…

Loki was pulling back,

…

_Ages passed, worlds crumbled, he was empty._

…

He was filled again; it only took forever.

…

_‘I will have you begging and pleading in my name until you cannot remember your own, much less anyone else’s.’   Definitely. Words._

…

Loki wrapped his arms around him and murmured, “Did you want those ropes off, kjánalegt maður?”

…

_Something shifted inside him and there were galaxies of pinwheeling lights._

…

Tony was alternating between waves of endorphins and dizzying crashes, but he managed to nod and beg: “Loki… please, Loki… beg… God…”

…

_Loki. No one else could be Loki._

…

And Loki started untying the ropes around his balls and his crotch.

…

_Pain_

…

One

…

_Pleasure_

…

Knot

…

_Loki_

…

At

…

                _Only_

…

A

…

                _Loki_

…

Time

…

                _God_

…

Each knot untying sent a spasm through his whole body. Each spasm sent him spiraling into and out of subspace. His mind was shattering like a crazed windshield… And God help him, he felt new waves of sensation clamoring for attention as Loki continued to move in and out of him in time with the pounding in his crotch.

…

_Stars exploding and he could feel the equations of mass and energy_

…

All he could do was ride it out: Loki filling him, the knots untying, the building waves of sensation. He was certain he should have passed out long ago. He was certain he was going to die _._

_…_

_Into the warm crystal haze_ ,

…

Out into sharp perfect clarity.

…

_Back into the warm crystal haze._

_…_

Then Loki was turning his head to the side to kiss him from behind, and he pulled the last knot

…

And Tony fell down so deep he knew he would never come back up.

…

               

…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tony is a bit of an unreliable narrator. no stars exploded in the writing of this scene.  
> YES, really this is a consensual experience.


	69. lessons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony's POV. "and what did we learn today?"

 

“Anthony…”

…

_It was lovely here. Everything moved so slowly, and the lights were so beautiful._

…

“Anthony?”

…

 _His name was Anthony, wasn’t it? Someone had said something about forgetting his own name_. He giggled.

…

There was someone petting him. He rolled into it and purred.

…

“I’m afraid you have to get up, Anthony.” _Pretty voice._

“I am up,” he slurred.

“I doubt the Avengers want to have a meeting in my bedroom,” the voice said unreasonably. _The voice was green; no, it had green eyes. A bedroom was a perfectly good place._

“Why not? It’s nice here.”

The voice kissed him. “I am sorry to do this gæludýr minn, but you have to get up.” And someone pulled on him somehow. Pulled him up back into consciousness as if they were hauling in a fish.

Tony felt like a landed fish, lying breathless across Loki’s lap. They were in the bedroom. Tony couldn’t make his muscles work. He lay there, sprawled bonelessly across Loki. “What?”

“You have to get up, Anthony, your friends are waiting.” Loki looked down at him upside down; it was disorienting. Tony struggled to sit up.

“Bones. Muscles. I had them. Where are they…?”

Loki laughed. “I think you left them in the ropes.”

Loki pulled and pushed and half carried him into a shower. Eventually he regained the ability to stand up without slumping over.

“That was the most amazing, wonderful, incredible thing that’s ever happened to me. Never do that again?”

Loki just smirked, “I could promise, but I won’t lie to you.”

...

Tony was trying to get dressed. “I did, didn’t I?”

“Did what?”

“Deliver myself to you. End up kidnapping myself.”

“Oh yes, Anthony, you did.”

“Why wouldn’t you STOP?” Tony was sure Loki could tell his other question was, ‘Why did you stop… ever?’

“Because you hadn’t learned your lesson.”

“What lesson?”

“Try to figure it out.”

Tony tried to force his mind to think of unimportant things like ‘before the ropes’; it was difficult.

“Never let Natasha go through your computer, or talk to Ms. Vivienne ever again?”

“Probably good ideas, but no.”

“Uh… never try to trick you?”

“Excellent idea, but that isn’t it either.”

Tony dredged through the syrup that was masquerading as his brain. “Never visit your apartment without getting hospitality first?”

“Oh. Yes, yes that’s very good, you are quite correct, Anthony, even if I had been under hospitality at your tower, you were never under hospitality here… but not what I had in mind. I can see this isn’t getting you anywhere, would you like me to tell you?”

“Please?” Tony didn’t have to fake the desperate sincerity in his voice.

“First: I am not some purchased pretender that you can ignore when it suits you. You are MINE, and I expect you to behave. I don’t expect, or want, you broken. I happen to enjoy arguing with you, but I have limits and you will not cross them. Is that clear?”

“Yes. Absolutely. Got it.” Tony nodded emphatically.

“And second… when you need me to stop?” Loki smiled cruelly, and Tony shivered. “You need to use your safeword.”

Tony just stared at him. “I didn’t?”

 _Oh, dear god, he hadn’t._ Somewhere in the back of his mind a voice just purred, _Loki_ , and thought pleasantly about buying him lots and lots of ropes.

“No,” Loki smiled evilly at him. “You didn’t.”

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a basic rule in BDSM: If you didn't use your safeword, you didn't want them to stop.  
> Luckily there is an Avengers meeting to take Tony's mind off things, or Loki might be buried under the rope order.....


	70. Back in Black -Loki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And back to the Avengers... plus Fury.

Loki hadn’t planned on accompanying his skald back to the meeting; Anthony had assured him that he could handle it himself. However, given his current state… _I took him down too deep. He can scarcely be left alone to face this._ So Loki was following him back to the meeting- invisibly, of course.

“Jarvis will know you’re there,” Anthony said as they approached one of the less busy entrances to the tower.

“I doubt it,“ Loki said, amused by Anthony’s faith in his creation. “But in any event I am fond of him.”

Anthony stopped, leaning against the building wall, and looked up at him-he could see and hear him, of course- “You are? Really?”

Loki blinked in confusion down at his skald. “Of course, could you not tell? He is a fine servant, very honorable. After I kidnapped you and had you tamed, I was going to go back and kidnap him, too.”

Anthony looked pleased. “Oh. That’s ok then. I think he likes you too.”

Some of the passersby were looking at them. Loki snickered. _No, they were looking at a disheveled man, whose clothes were rumpled and stank, leaning on a wall and talking to himself._

Anthony went up to a locked door and it opened for him. They walked across the lobby toward an elevator and a guard came over to stop the scruffy, smelly, man before he could reach the well-dressed people who belonged here.

“Stop right there!” The guard had his hand on his weapon. Loki itched to turn it into a serpent.

“Oh you have got to be kidding me. You’re new, right?” Anthony sighed. “Call Miranda, your shift supervisor.”

The guard looked confused, but thumbed a communications device and spoke into it. “Ma’am, this is Lobby4, there’s this smelly homeless guy who just walked in from the secure door?”

Anthony just grinned at him.

A voice came from the communicator, “No homeless guy just walks in past a secure door, Lobby4, S.H.I.E.L.D. can’t just walk in past a secure door. It’s either one of the Avengers or it’s a really big supervillain.”

“Hey Miranda,” Anthony called out. “How many times has S.H.I.E.L.D. tried to get one of those doors open? Eight?”

“I should have known… Hello Mr. Stark, I hope you enjoyed your night out. Please forgive him, he’s new, that’s why we have him on Lobby4.”

Anthony grinned at the guard and resumed walking toward the elevator. “It’s your newbie, Miranda, have fun.”

Loki still wanted to turn the guard’s weapon into a serpent.

Most of the people in the lobby stared at the strange man who smelled of alcohol and whose clothing was rumpled and dirty. Loki was once again wondering why Anthony had told him not to bother to clean it up. He began to understand as he noticed how many people gave him a wide berth, for the sake of their noses, which conveniently ensured that there was plenty of room for Loki to walk along side of him.

“You are much more clever than you are decorative, elskan mín hækkaði , and you ARE decorative.” Loki smiled at Anthony as he pressed the button on the one elevator which bore his colors. It opened swiftly.

The doors closed and Jarvis’ voice came from the ceiling: “The Avengers, and several S.H.I.E.L.D. operatives, are waiting for you, Sir. Welcome back, Mr. Laufeyson.”

Anthony just smirked.

“Can you hear me, Jarvis?” Loki was deeply concerned about his invisibility spell. Jarvis did not answer.

Anthony coughed. “Hold elevator, Jarvis.” Loki felt the movement stop. “Jarvis can’t hear you, Rudolph; he can detect your energy signature. I… I’d been working on some protections against…”

“Me?” Loki was impressed, and rather glad he hadn’t known this to begin with.

“Not just you, but yeah. I… may have taken being thrown out a window a bit personally…”

Loki kissed the back of his neck. “Good. I am glad you were working on defending yourself.”

Anthony relaxed and started to press back into him.

“My apologies, Ástin mín, but now is not the time; we need to deal with this.”

“Yeah,” Anthony sighed, “But you owe me elevator sex later… I’ll bring the music.” He took a deep breath and said, “Go on, Jarvis.”

“It will be well, Anthony. Just do as we planned.”

The elevator door opened onto the penthouse; Loki followed Anthony out. There was a large table placed in the room, and the sofa had been moved against a wall. The Avengers, all of them, were there. Loki hadn’t quite anticipated the pain at seeing Barton; it hadn’t been so bad in combat, although admittedly he had usually left when the others showed up. His…Thor was there as well, of course. He looked well. Fury was there, and the woman he recognized as Virginia Potts

“Jarvis? Damn, man, it’s dead in here, put on some music.”

“Belay that,” Fury said, “I want to hear what you have to say, Mr. Stark.”

“Yeah?” Tony smirked, “As much as I love to hear myself talk, I need to get out of these clothes because I stink. Trust me you DON’T want to sit next to me right now; I don’t want to sit next to me right now. MUSIC!”

Jarvis started playing something that made Loki’s teeth set on edge as he followed Anthony to the bedroom. A driving beat filled the air followed by raucous screeching noises: ‘Back in black - I hit the sack - I've been too long I'm glad to be back ‘… Loki clapped his hands over his ears and hurried into the bedroom.

Anthony ducked back out and said something Loki couldn’t make out. He came back in, shedding his shirt as he did so.

Anthony stared at Loki. “It CAN’T be too loud; it’s like on medium volume.” He walked over and took Loki’s hands away from his ears… ‘Back in the back - Of a Cadillac - Number one with a bullet, I'm a power pack…’

Loki could feel Anthony trying to share something he enjoyed. Loki didn’t think it would work, but watching Anthony’s body starting to move in time to the music, he supposed he could try.

 

 

 

‘

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loki has concerns because of how deep down into subspace he took him, and how recently he pulled him out, that he just hasnt recovered enough o handle this without back up. so he's risking himself to come back with him.  
> Yes its very sweet.  
> Yes, thats "Back in Black" by AC/DC and yes those are in fact the lyrics.


	71. Drinking Games - Loki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuing with Loki's POV.

 

Natasha came in as Anthony finished changing clothes. She pulled a small flask out of her pocket and handed it to Anthony. “Ok, why?”

Anthony turned to Loki, “We don’t have time to explain, yet. Loki, be welcome as a guest in my home, you rules lawyering weasel.” He held out the flask.

Loki smirked and took a sip of the mead. “I accept, my darling poet. Does that mean I can’t carve my name on you for three more days?”

Anthony was still flushing and stuttering when Romanoff stared at the spot her flask had vanished into and hissed, “Loki’s HERE?”

Anthony replied, “Yes, the guy who better NOT wait three days is here. He didn’t think I was in shape to handle this yet. The music was to cover any slip ups. Come on.”

Anthony walked back out, leaving Romanoff no choice but to follow after him.

“Jarvis, cut the music.” The noise blessedly stopped. Anthony had left the door to his bedroom open, by design, so that Loki could stay well out of the way but still see and hear them.

“Ok, so there’s something we need to do first-“ Tony started.

“Do you know,” Fury interrupted, “that the most likely explanation for Stark being on the edge of death, and then there being all sorts of fires and distractions that gets everyone to leave the area, and then his suddenly being perfectly fine, but refusing any and all follow up medical care or tests, is that he died and was replaced?”

Anthony looked shocked, but Loki had to admit it was a reasonable supposition: possibly the most likely answer, in fact. Thor, Barton, and Rogers looked alarmed. Loki was amused to see that Rogers was looking from Fury to Anthony and back, but Barton just looked at Romanoff and relaxed.

“I wouldn’t go along with that,” Pepper answered calmly.

“Oh? If it became known that Tony Stark had died, SI stocks would plummet.”

“Fuck you, Fury,” Anthony said heatedly. “I’m trying to tell you something important and you have to throw a grenade into the meeting, don’t you?”

“He wasn’t replaced,” Banner said calmly. “He had medical follow up, just not from them.”

Thor, the idiot, spoke up, “Stark said it was Loki…”

“Oh? And just when did he say that?” Fury drawled out.

Everyone started talking at once. Loki leaned his forehead into the door frame. _How had he ever thought he was related to that oaf?_

Anthony grabbed the bottle of mead and the glasses and slammed them down on the table. “You can accept formal hospitality, all of you, including Fury, and let me save your damned lives, or you can get the HELL out of my home.”

In the next moment it got worse. Rogers was on his feet, shouting. Fury was demanding answers. Barton retreated quickly only to find the highest location in the room to take up a position, as usual; Loki smiled sadly. Banner and Romanoff were both trying to calm the others down. Thor was staring at the mead as though he’d never seen any before.

Loki was about to intervene when Ms. Potts calmly reached over, poured herself some mead, drank it, and said, “I accept. Are any of the rest of you staying? Or should I call security?”

Loki watched the rest of them trail off and stare at her. He felt a smile tug at the corners of his mouth. _No wonder Anthony trusted her. Well, he did have excellent taste._

Romanoff poured a shot of mead and threw it back. “Accepted.”

Banner held his hand out. Ms. Potts poured him a glass and gave it to him. He drank it slowly, watching Anthony with a faint smile. “Accepted.”

“The hell, Nat?” Barton called from his position behind the counter. She mouthed something- Loki couldn’t tell what, as she was facing away- and Barton came over and asked, “What’s this mean?”

Thor’s voice rumbled, “Is this why you asked me about hospitality, Stark?”

“I had reasons. I didn’t expect to have to ask my own team.”

Thor stood up. “Before you accept, you should understand: Hospitality is your oath. Break it, and you are forsworn: your word means nothing.” He poured a glass for himself- Loki hoped they had more mead; it was a big glass. “Do YOU understand this, truly, my friend? It binds you to offer it.”

“I get it, Point Break, believe me.”

“I accept, then, to my host’s health!” Thor drank it down, and Loki began breathing again.

Barton walked over and took a glass from Romanoff; she leaned close and said something to him. His expression was serious. He nodded. “Strictly business, then. Accepted.” He sipped a small amount and handed the glass back. _Ah, of course, he never drank on duty unless needed. Interesting that Romanoff didn’t abstain._

“You have GOT to be kidding.” Fury, of course.

Rogers looked around at everyone. He stared at Anthony very intently. “You mean it?”

“You have no idea how important this is.”

Rogers shook his head and smiled slightly. “It’s not just an Asgardian thing, so you better know what you’re getting into, Tony. The Folk take it seriously, my family always said. We use beer, but mead will do.” Everyone looked confused, Loki included. He raised his glass, said, “Glacaim,” and drank it down.

Everyone was looking at Fury after that.

Anthony glared at the man. “Some of what I wanted to talk to you about is directly your business, but I don’t trust you enough to tell you, because some if it is MY business and you have a really bad track record with me about keeping those two separate.” He shoved a glass at him. “So accept, or get out.”

“And you think my drinking a glass of mead will somehow force me to do anything I wouldn’t do otherwise, Stark?” Fury sounded incredulous.

“No. But if you accept it, and then you break it, everyone in the room will know they can never trust you, have never been able to trust you, and your word with Asgard will be worth mud.”

 _His Anthony was so fierce._ Loki smiled despite himself. He hoped Fury refused; he would love the excuse.

“For the record, Stark, I didn’t think you were replaced. A phony Stark wouldn’t get mysteriously healed, tell everyone Loki fixed them up, and then sneak out of the building overnight, much less walk back in late for this meeting and act like an ass. ” Fury smirked at Anthony, “I don’t think anyone could fake being as much of an ass as you are, Stark.”

Fury took the bottle and polished off the dregs of it. “So tell me, Stark, where’s Loki and how did you rope Romanoff and Banner into this?”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "rules lawyering weasel" being said with an undertone of affection, at least the two of them think so.  
> reminder: no one can see or hear Loki except Stark, at least thats the idea.


	72. Spelling it out - Loki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which we get a summary of the situation.

Romanoff looked completely calm and composed. She was probably the only one who even looked calm, let alone composed. Loki was trying to gather his wits; they seem to have scattered like startled birds.

Anthony mostly looked incredulous. “First you accuse me of being someone else, and now you say I know where Loki is?”

“No, Stark. I said the most reasonable, logical answer was that you had been replaced. It still IS the most logical answer, but I have long ago given up on the reasonable answer always being the correct one.” He smiled but it never reached his eyes- or eye, in any case.

“Shall I spell this out to you all?

“According to all reports- medical, personal, and professional- Tony Stark was dying of alcohol withdrawal and heart problems. He was not expected to survive the night. There were suddenly a lot of alarms, explosions, and fires that drew everyone away from our star patient.” He folded his fingers together and surveyed the room.

“None of which injured anyone. Suspicious as hell.”

Several members of the team exchanged looks indicating that this was not exactly a new idea.

“Then Stark is alive and well and perfectly healthy, and not willing to go anywhere near a medical exam. Call that suspicious, too, shall we?

“At some point later, you all get told that Loki- LOKI! - showed up, healed Stark, and vanished.” He drummed his fingers on the table.

“Now that’s so damnably unbelievable that I am forced to assume it’s true, because frankly, I cannot come up with any other person healing you where THAT would be preferable.” His fingers stilled from drumming. “But there’s a problem.” He held up one finger.

He pointed at Banner. “Banner says he got there just in time to witness this. All well and good. Fine.”

He gestured toward Romanoff. “Romanoff says she arrived after Loki left, but she’s backing you two up, and she was there when everyone else showed up, and that,” he brought his hand down flat on the table, “is a lie.”

“Romanoff wouldn’t take someone else’s word for it that the sky was blue. Alright, she might take something that simple from you two… but just BELIEVE you that Loki showed up, healed Stark, and vanished… before she got there? And she just takes your word for it? And helps you evade medical?

“Not. A. Chance.

“Which means she was there.

“Which means she saw him, or someone where LOKI is a better answer than the truth, so I’m gonna go with ‘She saw Loki show up and heal you’.”

He put his fingers back together as if to pray, Loki noted. “So why lie?

“Why not just say that?”

He had everyone’s attention: guilty attention from those who knew the answers; suspicion from those who didn’t. Fury sipped his coffee.

“I gotta admit that was a sticking point. We’ll get back to that.”

Loki had to admit the man had presence. No one had dared to interrupt.

“And THEN after your meeting, Stark, Banner, and Romanoff- the three that apparently all absolutely saw Loki, and believe this – along with Potts, who we’ll just go with ‘is loyal to Stark’ and leave it at that…

“Get everyone else out of the way. They send every single person who wasn’t already hip deep in this conspiracy off chasing wild geese, or on guard duty someplace out of the way.”

Barton was apparently communicating somehow to Natasha. Loki had the feeling she was waving him off with a ‘later’ even though she hardly moved.

“And then the three of you cover yourselves in cheap booze, dress down, and sneak out of the building.

“And wherever you go it’s close enough to take a car, and close enough for two of you to walk back. WALK back because Stark wouldn’t be caught dead in a cab, and we would have seen it because we were watching. He walked.” Fury sipped more coffee.

“Now at this point I have to admit that up until now I just assumed that you three went off to talk to Loki, to meet up somewhere, and get this settled, or get your story straight.”

 _‘Until now’?_ Loki really didn’t like how this was going.

“So now let’s go back and deal with some of the problems.

“The scepter is still safe in custody; I checked. None of you have blue eyes, no bluer than usual anyway,” Fury nodded at Banner.

“But there could be some other form of mind control I don’t know about. And ‘under Loki’s mind control’ might make sense of some of it: the mead, the hospitality…”

Thor interrupted, “If it was given under sorcery it would not...”

Fury continued as though Thor had never spoken. “But I’ve been watching this… and I have been forced to revise my earlier theory.”

Fury sat back in his chair. “Romanoff came back and shut down. Not a word until this meeting. There are only a few things that explain that, other than mind control, and among them are ‘too hot to be transmitted’ - but I’m here already- and ‘needs to have confirming data before she says anything’.”

“It’s the latter,” Natasha said drily. “This report was going to be difficult enough to believe with all three of us backing it up. Also, I wanted to see if Stark came back in one piece: it would verify things.”

“Uh huh,” he nodded.

“But the one piece of this puzzle that didn’t make sense before came together when I realized WHY you had to get everyone else out of the way and sneak out.” Fury paused- Loki had to admire the style of the man; everyone was hanging on his next word.

“He didn’t vanish after healing Stark- he was still there. Romanoff didn’t arrive after he left- he left with the three of you. You weren’t going out to meet Loki out there- you were TAKING him out there. You needed a car for four people, not three, and that’s why Romanoff lied about arriving after he left. He was here that whole time, right up until you three smuggled him OUT.”

Fury leaned forward and asked Anthony conversationally, “So where was Loki while you were getting out of medical, and having your little meeting here, Stark?”

There was a rising murmur from the others, but no one quite had the nerve to break the détente between Fury and Anthony.

Anthony met his gaze without flinching. “Unconscious, in my bedroom.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just as a heads up... when i re wrote a few scenes, we ended up with some really nasty words being thrown around.  
> so a warning for the next chapter at least: the opinions of the characters, and of the cultures, are not those of the author.


	73. Culture Clash -Loki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The discussion gets personal. Trigger warnings for stupid opinions and hurtful words.

Anthony was being defensive already: “He healed me and passed out, ok? He was out cold on the floor of the infirmary.”

 _There was a surprising lack of shouting_. Anthony seemed unnerved by the silence as well. Barton was opening and closing his mouth and looking at Romanoff a lot _. Poor Hawk, I wish you had been elsewhere this week._ Anthony kept looking at Rogers; apparently his quiet listening was unexpected.

“We smuggled him up to my room. Natasha showed up in the penthouse somehow-“

Fury cut him off: “Why don’t you start at the beginning.”

“You seem to think everyone is going to be shocked and horrified, Tony,” Banner said gently.

“You’re dealing with LOKI? Yeah, I’m shocked and horrified,” Clint stuttered.

Loki winced. _Hawk didn’t sound very convinced. Perhaps the others would put it down to shock._

“Professional, Clint. Shove it aside.” Romanoff was using her neutral voice again.

“Fine. Fine! You want the short form?” Anthony sounded rattled and was already tense.

“It’s no secret that I’m sexually active. Hell, if you actually follow the gossip you know I’m bi,” Anthony practically snarled.

Loki winced again. _Indeed, Anthony was too raw and too stressed to deal with this_. Loki moved carefully from the room…

“What a whole lot of money, time, and effort has been keeping under wraps is that I’m into some pretty damn hard core BDSM.” Anthony was tense; Loki could see him clenching his fists.

“To say our background checks missed something, Director, is the understatement of the century,” Romanoff said drily.

“Thor, Steve, just… later, ok? Besides, I don’t think I can stand being responsible for Steve dying of embarrassment,” Anthony sighed.

Rogers was flushing already. “Um, actually… “

“Hold it.” Fury pinched the bridge of his nose. “Start over. From where Loki gets involved in this. Because otherwise, I have the feeling I’m getting this all backward.”

“Fine. It all started with the yarn.” Anthony sagged. Loki had crossed the room to stand behind Anthony’s chair.

 

Rogers looked more than slightly bewildered. “The yarn?”

Fury drawled out over his coffee cup, “Would that be the perfectly ordinary ball of wool yarn our labs analyzed? The ball of yarn that you said you had no idea where it came from?”

“Um. Yeah. That ball of yarn.”

Fury closed his eye and sighed, “Someone get me more coffee.”

Loki took advantage of Fury’s lack of sight to place his hand gently on Anthony’s shoulder. He felt the tension start to bleed out of him.

 _It will be well._ Loki let his fingers brush against Anthony’s neck.

...

“So after Ranting Hat Lady and then the debriefing at S.H.I.E.L.D., I was kind of surprised when Loki showed up here. I already went over this with Natasha and Pepper and Bruce, but to put it briefly: he didn’t hurt me- not deliberately- but there WAS a problem. He had handed me a glass of scotch. It was magic, and it just kept refilling. Yeah, that sounds like a trick, but it wasn’t; it was an accident. I was already buzzed when he showed up, and then I got completely plastered. During that conversation we both ended up admitting that there just might be something to what Ranting Hat Lady said.”

“Ranting Hat Lady?” Fury sounded like he was developing a migraine. Loki was finding it hard not to snicker.

“Yeah, the Ranting Lady, with the weird Hat - I didn’t know her name- anyway, that we were attracted to each other. That there was some interest.”

Thor looked very uncomfortable.

“Look, when I go for guys I tend to like the tall, lean, looks good in a suit, male model types or rockers; Look it up, it’s not hard to find out. Loki had the look I go for, PLUS the snark. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find people who can keep UP with me in a conversation?”

“It’s coming to me, Stark; I think most of us are having trouble following this.” Fury stared down into his coffee cup. Loki was biting the hand he didn’t have on Anthony’s shoulder to keep from laughing.

“I KNEW he was sexy as fuck. I hadn’t realized he was hitting on my BDSM kink, too.”

Thor interrupted, looking flustered: “You are my shield brother, and we are under hospitality, but there is no need to give insult to my brother’s reputation…”

Fury said, “If it’s going to explain this, then I want to hear it.”

Pepper took Anthony’s hand. “They’re going to keep this quiet.”

“Fine! I didn’t even want to go there, but it’s part of this- it’s MOST of this- and if it will get you all to shut up… I got the information on hospitality out of Thor, and some of my research, because Loki was going to show up on Friday… last weekend… and-”

“Did he?” Fury asked.

“Yeah.”

Thor asked slowly, “He accepted hospitality?”

“Yes. Yes he did. And we both had an incredibly good weekend and he didn’t leave until sometime Sunday night or Monday morning.”

“You’re telling me you had Loki tied up in your penthouse all weekend and you DIDN’T call S.H.I.E.L.D. or even THOR?” Clint howled at him, at the same time as Thor bellowed, “Must this be discussed, Man of Iron? Very well, you wish to claim rights over my brother because of his actions, but-“

Loki’s world whited out with rage. He was too furious to think, to move, to breathe. _Hawk was confused and hurt; he could forgive him, but THOR?_ _Thor once again insulting him? Belittling him? Not defending his honor before his warrior friends…_  Loki couldn’t see anything but murder, and the echoes of taunts rang in his ears.

Anthony reached back and grabbed Loki’s hand as he went for his blades. Loki felt himself frozen in place by Anthony’s demand: _No. Not in my house. Let me handle it. Let me TRY._

Anthony inhaled deeply and yelled, “SHUT UP!” and glared around the room.

He continued in a conversational tone: “As flattered as my PR people, my scandal cover-up team, and Pepper may be that you have all apparently bought into my public image… I’m not usually the top.”

Loki winced: to have to admit that in front of his shield brothers was a pain he could scarcely imagine. _Anthony was so very strong._ He looked over at Barton. _Yes, indeed, he had his carefully neutral face on. This was going to be difficult._

Thor stammered out, “Do you understand what you are saying?”

Anthony looked darkly at Thor, “You REALLY don’t know your brother very well, do you? Do you have any idea how much he’s dealt with those kinds of insults from your friends without you believing it too? Just because he isn’t a big guy with an overcompensating weapon doesn’t mean everything you think it does.”

Ms. Potts and Romanoff both snickered.

He spared a look at Barton: “I couldn’t have called anyone even if I wanted to: hospitality, ya know? But in any event, what makes you think I was coherent long enough to use the phone?”

Anthony shook his head, looking back at Thor. “I’m pretty insulted that you think it’s that bad to be the bottom; I wish I was surprised. We have the same sort of prejudices here on Midgard, sometimes- most of the time, I guess.

“It’s why I could be public being bisexual, but I can’t be public being a sub. As long as the stock holders and the news think I’m on top I could probably be fucking anyone, but God forbid it get public that I like my partner to tie me up.”

Anthony made it clear that this was meant for him, not just for them. _Anthony UNDERSTOOD, even if his culture wasn’t as cruel about it._ He felt his rage cool, a little… enough.

Thor was staring at Anthony. “You… are… argr? But you LEAD! You COMMAND!” Thor sputtered.

Anthony gripped Loki’s hand more tightly by his side and leaned back against him. “Loki explained to me that in Asgard, like in a lot of places, it’s a deadly insult to be accused of that.”

“Did you not just say-“

“What I AM SAYING, Thor, is that you first insulted the one you claim is your brother-who is my guest and the man who saved my life- and then insulted me.”

“Is it an insult if it’s true?”

“In my case?” Anthony shrugged. “It’s an insult to assume I can’t be a warrior, I can’t be worthy, I can’t be a leader, just because what I like to do in bed offends Asgardian macho.

“In LOKI’S case, however…” Anthony’s voice was calm and sharp as steel. “In Asgardian culture what you said about him is a deadly insult. Especially since it isn’t true. It COULD be taken as a breach of hospitality…”

Thor paled, and bowed his head. “Indeed. I… find the ways of Midgard strange, but… I have faced you in battle Man of Iron, and whatever else, you are not weak of will or lacking in courage...” He swallowed, “I ask your forgiveness: as your shield brother, and as your guest.”

“I’ll think about it. Meanwhile you may want to thank me for saving your life, while you apologize to LOKI for the insult and for permitting your friends to insult him, just like you did in Asgard.”

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These notes got way too long, please go to the resource list in this series and read my essay....  
> "Vikings, Asgard, warrior cultures and homosexuality" http://archiveofourown.org/works/5045194/chapters/12062192   
> and then '  
> "BDSM and the cultural perception of a submissive".


	74. scene and unseen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> still Tony's POV.

Tony was expecting Fury to say something, or Thor, or really anyone except Steve; so, of course, Steve was the first one to speak up.

“So, is Loki under hospitality right now?” Steve asked, looking around as if he might suddenly find Loki lurking in a corner- which he might, actually.

“Yes. I brought the mead into the other room for that,” Natasha said. Tony was pretty sure she kicked Clint under the table, too.

Steve relaxed a bit. “Thor, even if it WAS true, you just don’t SAY things like that about your brother.”

_Ok, of all the people he expected to be playing peacemaker on this topic, it wasn’t Steve. The only person less likely was CLINT._

Thor honest to God looked embarrassed. “I… I just thought…”; then, with a sort of dawning horror, he said, “My brother is here?”

 _He has always thought that of me, or joked of it, or permitted his friends to make sport of me…_ Tony could hear Loki bitterly across the link.

Tony looked around at everyone. “I am really tired of getting shit thrown at me because of how I like-“

“PLEASE can we not talk about this?” Steve was apparently trying to shrink into his chair.

Fury sounded a bit amused, “Well, as much as I love this little group therapy session, I suspect it would go better without me, so can we get back to ‘things Stark said I needed to know’ sometime soon?“ He then added, “And why not invite Loki to come out of the bedroom? Although I still want to know how he got back IN here.”

Natasha sighed. “He’s invisible. He can apparently become invisible. He walked in when Tony arrived.”

Fury just pinched the bridge of his nose and muttered, “…of course he can….”

Everyone else was shouting things like “Invisible?!” and getting upset. Then Thor looked confused, and said,   “Of course he can become invisible…” and the room pretty much exploded in “Why didn’t you TELL us!?” noises.

 

Tony, meanwhile, was dealing with more important matters, now that everyone was distracted. He got up and walked away to the bar and kitchen area, holding Loki by the hand until they got there.

“So, no one’s going to hear us over THAT racket…” Tony said, as he poured both of them a non-alcoholic drink.

“True,” Loki replied. “I apologize for thinking you were not up to this. It seems I am the one who is not yet recovered enough.”

Tony shrugged. “Family. No one else can hurt you that bad.” Tony didn’t need the link to hear the ‘He’s not my brother’ in Loki’s thoughts. He smiled darkly, “Obie wasn’t blood to me, don’t even try.”

It was oddly comforting- the two of them sitting glumly together at a bar, even if it was sadly lacking in booze.

 _Ah, Natasha just told the director that Loki could change his appearance._ “Want some fruit? Bruce got me fruit.” Tony didn’t like the way Loki looked right now. He re-captured Loki’s hand under the guise of refilling his drink. _Hey, Lo, its ok._

 _No, it’s not, but thank you for saying it, my Rose._ Loki pulled his hand away.

Tony saw Clint first. He had retreated to a corner again and was leaning up against the wall. The problem was he wasn’t looking at the rest of the Avengers; he was looking at them- well, at least at Tony, since he couldn’t see Loki.

Tony moved his hand until it touched the back of Loki’s. _Clint._ Tony did his best to visualize where Clint was across the link. Then he moved his hand away.

The damnable part about the link was that, when Loki wasn’t seriously hurt, or furious, he could control how much information Tony got WAY more than Tony could. There were whole big topics Loki wouldn’t let him see: Clint was one of them. All he really knew, from their deeper contact in the sanctum, was that Loki didn’t care much anymore one way or another about most of the other people he’d held under the scepter. Clint wasn’t ‘most other people’.

Clint walked over to the bar as if he was walking to his execution.

“So he’s here?” Clint asked him, looking carefully at the bar, and finally staring at the spot where Loki was, in fact, standing.

“Yup. And yeah, right about there.” Tony didn’t know what else to say, so he fell back on habit: “… Want a drink? Err… ginger ale? Root beer?”

Loki started to quietly move away.

“Don’t you dare walk away,” Clint said with some real venom in his voice.

 _Well that was interesting_. “How did you-“

“How much did he tell you, Stark?”

“First of all, if you call me Stark again, I’ll assume you are Director Fury and start being obnoxious at you: really obnoxious, not friendly obnoxious. Secondly: nothing. You happen to be one of the few topics where Loki won’t tell me a damn thing.”

Tony was often accused of being clueless about other people, but it was more accurate to say he didn’t usually pay attention; right now, he was paying attention. Clint started to relax when he heard that. Tony suddenly realized Clint’s tension hadn’t been the kind of anger he’d always assumed- it was familiar. He’d seen that kind of anger before- a lot. He glanced at Loki, who, despite being invisible, was sort of hunched over his ginger ale ‘not looking at Clint’ rather intently.

Tony pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Geez, stop that, you look like Fury,” Clint sputtered.

“Do you have any idea how often I’ve been here?” Tony groaned. Loki and Clint both looked confused.   _Damn, it was getting quiet over there._

Tony looked over at the table. _Yup… all looking over here_. He waved, “Drinks? I’ve got root beer, ginger ale, cola, various mixers, and enough fruit to make smoothies.“

Bruce, bless him, immediately asked for a root beer. That broke the ice and some of the others started asking. Tony started putting together orders and handing the first round to Clint.

“Clint, can we talk AFTER the business? Because it’s bad- really bad,” Tony said quietly as he handed him the tray.

A muscle jumped in Clint’s jaw. “Strictly professional until we’re done.” He nodded. He carried the tray over and sat back down.

Tony put together another tray of drink orders, and started the blender for a smoothie. The noise made good cover, but he kept his face turned away from the spies- he figured they all read lips. “You know, I knew this was going to be difficult, since Clint clearly hated you for the whole mind control thing, but-“

“It would have been easier if I wasn’t here, I know,” Loki said. Tony messed around with fruit and started the blender again.

“It would have been easier if you’d told me he was your ex.”

Any hope of keeping this quiet shattered with the glass Loki dropped.

“He ISN’T! It was never like that!” Loki stared at him wide eyed.

Tony gave up and turned off the blender; everyone was looking this way anyway. Tony poured himself the smoothie.

“So, everyone done yelling over there?“ Tony called.

Loki put his hand on Tony’s arm; Tony rather firmly reached over, in plain view, and took an invisible hand off his arm. _This must look so weird._ Tony got Loki a replacement drink and shoved it into his hand. Now everyone was staring at the spot where the drink vanished.

Loki glowered at him, “You’re a menace.”

Tony just grinned, “There’s the evil overlord I know and love. So, drop the invisibility and let’s tell them the bad news.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just as a note: we have a major holiday coming up here in the States (and i will be busy for a day or two)... so from November 26-29 i may not be able to update anything.


	75. The Table Hit Him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which events conspire to delay this discussion, but its a short chapter.

Several of the team were mouthing ‘that’s the evil overlord I know and love’ when Loki simply faded into view next to Tony.

Thor, in an echo of the last team meeting, leapt to his feet with a shout of “Brother!” and everything went flying.

Tony grabbed Loki before anything drastic happened, and moved to place himself between him and Thor.

“Oh no you don’t, Thor.” Tony frankly wanted to punch him, but: A, it wouldn’t do any good; and B, he was busy keeping Loki from finding out how many knives he could stick into Thor’s appendix or something.   “After what you just said? You CANNOT be dumb enough to think you can just go on like nothing happened.”

“Yes, he can,” growled Loki behind him. “He has centuries of practice.”

Steve was doing his best to get in front of Thor; most of the others were getting out of the way.  The table had gone flying, as had everything on it; Tony hoped no one was hurt _._ There was a menacing growl. _Oh shit no, Bruce was going green_ … “Jarvis! Protocol poppy fields Emerald City – override now!”

A series of something that looked like fire sprinklers dropped out of the ceiling and a mist began filling the air. Tony noted with some relief that it was thinner near the bar. He grabbed Loki and dragged him further away. There was a crash and a shriek that Tony dearly hoped wasn’t Pepper.

“What is it?” Loki seemed like he was trying to see where the Hulk was through the mist.

“Mild sedative plus a gamma absorptive mist. We never got a chance to test it.”

There was a heavy sounding crash.

“Report!” Fury’s voice cut through the noise. _Well, HE didn’t sound sedated._

“Loki and I are up,” Tony called back. “It’s an anti-Hulk measure. Not yet tested.”

“Mildly injured,” Natasha called from the other side of the room somewhere. “Pepper’s out, but seems ok.”

 _Thank God_. “There’s a sedative in the mist, too.” Tony called.

“Here, but I feel…” Steve trailed off.

Fury yelled “Quiet!” There was quiet for several seconds. “Stark, can you clear the air?” Fury asked.

“Jarvis?”

“Yes sir?”

“Snow.”

The sound of ventilation fans was startling in the otherwise quiet room. The air cleared in moments, and then the air conditioning started bringing the temperature down rapidly. Condensation started forming on the windows.

Tony turned to Loki and said quietly, “It’s going to be chilly in here, but not cold, cold. Will you be ok?”

Loki looked at him with wide eyes; he had knives in both hands.

“Loki?”

Loki shook his head and looked at him again; he finally smiled. “Minn sváss, remind me never to annoy you.”

Tony grinned, “Just getting that memo, Rudolph?”

Clint was lying face down near the overturned table. Bruce was lying, mostly nude, on the opposite side of the table from Clint; he looked marginally more awake. Thor was sitting up with a groan, having somehow ended up tangled in an overturned chair.   Fury was well out of range, over near the elevator. Natasha was in a guard position near an unconscious Pepper. Nat had what was probably a small cut on her scalp; those always bled like crazy. Steve was sitting up, looking a bit woozy, just a short distance away from Thor. _Everyone alive and reasonably intact. Go team._

“So, great! That was a successful test. Can we not test anything this way again? Ok, thanks.” Tony staggered back to the bar and sat down. “Don’t drink anything that was open!” he called out. “The mist will have settled in it.”

Thor was already looking more awake; he was looking around the wreckage ruefully. Steve had decided to lie down, but seemed to be awake and recovering.

Loki walked over and checked Clint briefly, then moved over to Natasha and Pepper. “Agent Romanoff, Agent Barton seems uninjured, merely sedated. You appear to be bleeding, and I cannot tell how Ms. Potts is faring without touching her.”

“Tony?” Natasha questioned.

“Let him, he won’t hurt anyone… except Thor, probably; God knows I want to.” What Tony really wanted was some hot chocolate, a sweater, and a full body Loki pillow right now. Instead, he got up and went over to Bruce.

“Hey Bruce.” He sat down next to him. “Guess what? It worked.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bruce hulked out because, as the title says, the table hit him (and h was already stressed)  
> I know a few people who are big, and strong, and tend to knock stuff over when they get upset or excited. i figured if Thor's reaction the First time was to jump to his feet , it would be again.  
> yes its all Wizard of Oz references. go put on Pink Floyd and relax. (we have a mirrored chapter coming up, first Loki's POV and then Tony's)


	76. How do you take your coffee? - Loki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki's POV on the aftermath and clean up.  
> (Tony's , with some different information, will be next chapter)

Loki couldn’t spare the energy and time to heal Romanoff completely, but he could seal the cut and stop the bleeding. Ms. Potts would be well enough when the sedative wore off.

“Anthony, I suspect it will be too cold for mor- Midgardians. Do you have any spare blankets?”

“Bedroom closet nearest the window, Babe.” Anthony went back to talking with Banner, quietly.

 

Loki went, picked up Barton, and put him on the sofa, before he went into the bedroom to get blankets.

_Thor was a complete and utter ass. How he could go from telling Anthony not to speak ill of him, to openly saying he thought he was the mortal’s subject…_

He opened the closet and grabbed every blanket on the shelf. After a moment’s thought, he got into Anthony’s dresser drawers and retrieved a sweat shirt and pants, as well as a pair of socks.

 _As if a mortal could hold him down and take him!_ Loki grinned slightly. _Although Anthony could probably talk him into it; skald’s were dangerous that way._

He laid a blanket over Barton and tucked it in on his way back out. Romanoff was standing near the sofa with a stunned look on her face, for some reason.

“Is there a problem, little spider?” Loki handed her a blanket, then another. “For Ms. Potts.”

“No,” Romanoff was lying, “no problem.”

Loki tossed a blanket at Rogers and then stopped at Anthony and Banner. “Dr. Banner? I have a blanket, but I thought these might be needed as well.” He held out the bundle of clothing.

Banner looked startled, and his Anthony looked grateful. They both said, “Thank you.”

“Elskan mín hækkaði, should we make something hot to drink? Let me guess: they all drink that appalling coffee you are so fond of.” Loki was ruffling Anthony’s hair- over his protests- when he heard Thor sputter and choke. Loki continued to ignore him. _Perhaps if I ignore him hard enough he will vanish._

Anthony nodded, “Probably a good idea, but we have to get cups that were wrapped up, and fresh grounds, and stuff. The mist is slightly hydrophilic.”

“Then I shall leave that to you, kjánalegt maður. Coffee,” he snorted. “See if you can find me some tea?”

Anthony got up to go make drinks. Loki helped Dr. Banner over to a more comfortable chair.

“Broth-“ Thor started.

Loki silenced him by throwing a dagger into the wall next to him. “That was a warning, Thor. Anthony has asked me not to kill you in his home, but if you keep provoking me, I shall happily oblige.”

“Mr. Laufeyson?” said Jarvis in his ever polite voice.

Thor opened his mouth to say something but was cut off when Rogers pulled him down into a chair and glared at him. Thor blinked in surprise but subsided.

“Ah. Yes Jarvis?”

“While no harm was done this time, I must inform you that I have a number of electronics embedded in the walls.”

Loki blinked. “Bölva mér fyrir heimskingja! My apologies, Jarvis, I am unaccustomed to thinking of the walls as being wounded. Are you well?”

Jarvis replied calmly, “As I said, Mr. Laufeyson, there was no harm done this time. In any event, my primary systems are not so readily accessible; at the worst, you would do superficial damage.”

Fury sounded bemused, “You’re apologizing to JARVIS?”

“Certainly, Director Fury. Jarvis has never been anything but a polite and faithful retainer. I had no intention of harming him.”

“What about all the civilians in New York?!”

“First of all, I have met a number of the civilians in New York, and many of them are impolite and unfaithful,” Loki smirked in Fury’s direction. _Let’s see you refute that_. “However, I would be willing to apologize to any that approach Jarvis in their worth.”

For some reason they were all staring at him. It was quite annoying.

Tony came in with a tray of coffee. “It wasn’t his idea.”

“What?” Rogers sounded bewildered.

“The invasion,” Tony said calmly. “It wasn’t his idea, and he wasn’t in charge.”

Barton, who had apparently woken up at some point, said rather fuzzily, “I’d wondered.”

Loki wasn’t at all looking forward to this. “Anthony saw a great deal of the facts while we were both in link in my sanctum-“ Loki began, but Anthony cut him off.

“Actually, no, Bambi, I got it before that. I mean, sure I got a lot MORE during the link, but I knew before.”

“What? How? I did everything I could to tell S.H.I.E.L.D.-to let everyone know- but no one cared. How would you have known?”

Tony shook his head at him, “When you were talking to me, that weekend, before I was really stupid? You said: ‘You were still valuable, even if I couldn’t control you with the scepter; I was going to be punished for that.’   Loki… if someone was going to punish you for throwing me out a window, because they thought I was valuable, and you messed up… then you weren’t running the show. I figured it out while we were having sex after that.”

The fact that everyone was paying close attention to Anthony’s reasoning meant everyone heard the last part as well. Rogers spluttered. Thor started to ask something, and shut up instead. _Apparently you CAN beat some sense into him; who knew?_

“TMI, Tony, seriously,” Barton muttered. “Is that coffee?”

“Yeah. I made up an assortment, including an extra sweet latte for Pepper.“ Suddenly Anthony’s face lit up. “Pep! You up?” Anthony grabbed her cup and went over to babble at her.

Loki searched the tray for Barton’s coffee and handed it to Romanoff. “Please give him his coffee before he starts whining.”

Romanoff was looking at him oddly but did so.

“I don’t whine!” Barton whined, and then grumbled a ‘thank you’ at Romanoff.

Romanoff was looking back at Loki with a very odd expression, then looked away.

“Yeah,” said Anthony, sounding tired, “He denies it, though.”

“What are you talking about Anthony?” Loki had the impression he was missing something.

“As much as I think this is FASCINATING, and needs to be discussed, at length,” Fury growled. “We were going to be getting an important briefing, before Thor decided to demonstrate the Asgardian sport of table flipping. Shall we get on with it?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the new Icelandic (the stuff he says to Jarvis) means "curse me for a fool"... more or less.


	77. How do you take your coffee? – Tony

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony's POV ... and some new information

Tony spared a glance from talking to Bruce and saw Loki do something green and sparkly at Natasha’s head. He just touched Pepper and looked relieved, so Pepper was ok.

“Anthony, I suspect it will be too cold for mor- Midgardians. Do you have any spare blankets?”

Tony grinned. “Bedroom closet nearest the window, Babe.”   Loki was really awful at this whole ‘I don’t care about any of you’ thing. Even if it was just for his benefit, he was trying not to sneer ‘mortals’ at them, and he actually thought about blankets. _It was so sweet! I mean, for a supervillain._

Loki absently picked up Clint and put him on the sofa. _No_ , Tony corrected as he really registered what he had just seen. _Loki picked up a dangerous Avenger as if he was comfortable with him, and pulled the pillows around so that Clint was slightly upright and tilted in exactly the posture he usually chose to be in on the sofa when he was injured._

_Sure, Clint was his worst enemy. Right. Like hell this wasn’t his ex._

Natasha walked over and stared down at Clint. She prodded at the pillow Loki had wedged behind Clint’s back, and then stared over at Tony

Tony mouthed back, counting on lip reading; “I don’t know, but… it sure looks like it.”

Loki came back out with an armload of blankets and something else. Tony pretended not to watch as Loki laid a blanket over Barton and tucked it in on his way over- tucked it around the semi-upright archer, leaving his arms free. As if he knew exactly how Clint liked things, and didn’t even have to think about it.

“Is there a problem, little spider?” Loki asked Natasha as he handed her a blanket, then another. “For Ms. Potts.”

_And there’s nothing special about Clint, oh heavens no, he just tucks in super archers who have sworn to kill him, and not beautiful red heads._

“No.” Natasha didn’t bother to hide her disbelief. “No problem.”

Loki tossed a blanket at Steve- _tossed, casually, like a bro, not an ex-boyfriend_ \- and then stopped at Tony and Bruce.

“Dr. Banner? I have a blanket, but I thought these might be needed as well.” He held out a bundle of Tony’s sweats.

_That was really thoughtful of him. Evil villain, my perfectly sculpted ass._

“Elskan mín hækkaði, should we make something hot to drink? Let me guess: they all drink that appalling coffee you are so fond of.” Loki was messing up Tony’s hair- not that he minded, although he had to protest; they both had great hair- when Tony heard Thor sputter and choke.

 _Oh,_ Tony grinned, _right, you just heard your brother call Iron Man ‘my darling Rose’. Nope, not explaining that one._

Tony nodded, “Probably a good idea, but we have to get cups that were wrapped up, and fresh grounds, and stuff. The mist is slightly hydrophilic.”

“Then I shall leave that to you, kjánalegt maður. Coffee,” he snorted. “See if you can find me some tea?”

Loki was helping Bruce over to a more comfortable chair as Tony went to make drinks. _Really? He helps the detestable man-beast get to a chair? The guy completely sucks at being an evil villain. How did I not notice this before?_

Tony tried not to eavesdrop as he was making coffee- and tea- for everyone, but apparently Loki threw something at Thor, and Jarvis was explaining about electronics.

He heard Fury saying something about New York, and then Loki was talking: “First of all, I have met a number of the civilians in New York, and many of them are impolite and unfaithful. However, I would be willing to apologize to any that approach Jarvis in their worth.”

Tony didn’t know whether to laugh at the rather appallingly religious idea of searching for ten righteous men-like Jarvis- for Loki to apologize to, or be insanely happy at how well he got along with Jarvis.

He settled for pointing out the obvious. “It wasn’t his idea.” Tony said as he brought in the coffee.

“What?” Steve sounded bewildered.

“The invasion,” Tony said calmly. “It wasn’t his idea, and he wasn’t in charge.”

Clint, who had apparently woken up at some point while Tony was busy, said rather fuzzily, “I’d wondered.”

“Anthony saw a great deal of the facts while we were both in link in my sanctum-“ Loki began, but Tony cut him off.

“Actually, no, Bambi, I got it before that. I mean, sure I got a lot MORE during the link, but I knew before.”

“What? How? I did everything I could to tell S.H.I.E.L.D.-to let everyone know- but no one cared. How would you have known?” Loki looked so confused.

Tony shook his head at him, “When you were talking to me, that weekend, before I was really stupid? You said: ‘You were still valuable, even if I couldn’t control you with the scepter; I was going to be punished for that.’   Loki… if someone was going to punish you for throwing me out a window, because they thought I was valuable, and you messed up… then you weren’t running the show. I figured it out while we were having sex after that.”

Steve spluttered. Thor started to ask something, but apparently thought better of it. _Oh, right, God forbid you actually spell out that we’re screwing. I get some of my best thinking done while I’m drunk, high, or in subspace; I really should start giving them a play by play, that would get them to stop asking._

“TMI, Tony, seriously,” Clint muttered. “Is that coffee?”

_Yeah, coffee- and a test._

“Yeah. I made up an assortment, including an extra sweet latte for Pepper.“ Pepper moved and looked up woozily. “Pep! You up?” _Oh thank God she was ok._

He heard Loki say: “Please give him his coffee before he starts whining.” Tony glanced over: sure enough, Loki had picked the correct one out of the tray full of cups.

_You won’t talk to him; you two avoid each other; he HATES your guts, loudly- very, very loudly, to the rest of us… I just thought it was the mind control…. You’re reflexively tucking him in with a pillow behind his back; you know to keep his arms free when you tuck in his blankets…._

“I don’t whine!” Clint whined, and then grumbled a ‘thank you’ at Natasha.

_… And you know how Clint takes his coffee. You correctly picked his coffee out of a tray full. You paid enough ATTENTION to him to know how he likes his blankets, his pillows… and his coffee._

Natasha looked over at Tony, and Tony could see she’d come to the same conclusion.

“Yeah,” said Tony, tiredly, “He denies it, though.”

“What are you talking about Anthony?” Loki genuinely sounded confused.

_Do you think I’m that stupid?...or… Oh dear God, did he actually think it wasn’t OBVIOUS? Maybe he WAS related to Thor. The idiot._

“As much as I think this is FASCINATING, and needs to be discussed, at length,” Fury growled. “We were going to be getting an important briefing, before Thor decided to demonstrate the Asgardian sport of table flipping. Shall we get on with it?”

Tony sighed, and dragged himself back to the topic at hand. “Well, the part Natasha knows about is that there is someone spying on you, Nick, and before you say ‘there’s always someone spying on me’, it’s more serious than that.

“Loki had a program running on his computer that kept track of all of the Avengers whereabouts; that was a simple aggregator, based on paparazzi, blog posts, and stuff like that. Natasha may be upset about that, but it’s a fact: we’re way too easy to track.”

Tony took a deep breath and continued, “The reason I needed to talk to YOU is that he also had an automatically updated program tracking several senior S.H.I.E.L.D. agents, including you. Tracking you well enough that, if he had been conscious and reading his computer, he would have known what time you left the helicarrier and what time you arrived here at the tower.

“The part Natasha doesn’t know is the part Loki told me later.   The part about HOW you have that kind of spying in S.H.I.E.L.D., Mr. Director. It’s Hydra.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and as if we were not canon divergent enough before (what with Loki being on earth again after avengers 2012)...
> 
> oh, and yes we will eventually manage to talk about Clint and Loki. but i hope you understand that some people have just been well and truly distracted by the revelation about Hydra.


	78. The big picture…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> something of an overview of the situation.  
> (After finding out that some of my dates were in error, this chapter has been edited)

“Hydra is dead, Stark,” Fury said slowly, staring at him like he’d lost his mind. “They’ve been gone for a long, long time.”

Steve was looking silently at him and was more than a little pale. The others of course just looked concerned about the information leak, but it didn’t hit them as hard.

Loki simply smiled. “Actually, Director Fury, I believe they have some saying about cutting off one head-“

Steve finished it for him: “-and two more will take their place.”

Everyone else was watching Fury for his reaction. _They didn’t know. They hadn’t grown up with Howard Stark and his endless stories about Captain America and Hydra. They hadn’t grown up seeing Hydra under the bed and in every shadow._ Tony wondered if Asgardian children viewed Jotuns the way he’d felt about Hydra; it might explain more about Loki’s attitude.

Tony looked straight at Fury. “Loki has been doing a lot of investigative work, and discovered that Hydra is alive and well, maybe better than they’ve ever been. He didn’t have the history and background to understand what he was dealing with, of course. Meanwhile, they only knew him as the villain with the scepter, who actually managed to make use of the Tesseract. You know, the tesseract that Hydra used to use to power their weapons?”

Steve asked, “Hydra? Hydra was telling you where Director Fury was?”

“Indeed.” Loki shrugged. “I believe they wish to have me take care of the Avengers, and possibly Director Fury for them. They get to blame a well-established opponent, and remove several problems before they unveil whatever plan they are about. I have encouraged them in this hope, of course. Because of this, I know that Hydra is quite thoroughly entrenched in S.H.I.E.L.D., as well as controlling several other influential positions. I have met several of their agents.” Loki sipped his tea. “They are quite tedious.”

“Tedious?” Fury sounded incredulous. “I wouldn’t call Hydra ‘tedious’. Insane, malevolent, destructive, nihilistic-“

“Oh no, Director, the Big Bad is nihilistic. Hydra is merely after power and rulership.”

“And what have they been offering you for your good work?” Fury sounded so patronizing; it set Tony’s teeth on edge.

Loki just looked amused and sipped his tea. “Money, power, pretty men and beautiful women-spies of course, but lovely- and the promise of returning my scepter.”

Fury snorted, “Well, as I said, I just checked on that. It’s not in Hydra’s hands.”

“The scepter is safe and sound, Director Fury, in a S.H.I.E.L.D. facility. I can tell you the address if you like; the problem you have is that every S.H.I.E.L.D. agent there is Hydra.”

Clint was on his feet, back pressed into the wall. “If you know where the damned thing is, why don’t you have it already?”

“Agent Barton, whatever makes you think I want it?”

Tony jumped in then: “Woah there, Legolas! Everyone… pay attention! You need to have the big picture to understand how this is going down. The very short form is this:

“Loki was found by a Big Bad, who forced him to come here to get the Tesseract. That’s where he got the scepter, from Big Bad. The Chitauri work for Big Bad; Loki was just acting as the completely expendable native guide, since, after Earth, BB is heading to Asgard.”

That got the first major response from Thor. He leaned forward and paid careful attention. _Asgardian defense being one of the few things he always paid attention to, according to Loki._

“Loki was constantly being watched. Clint can probably tell you that he was reporting to someone, since he says he suspected, but the main thing is this: Loki convinced them that Earth was a pushover planet. Since all their other information comes from people who haven’t looked at Earth since the renn fair days, it was a pretty safe story. However, Loki had caught up with the realities about Earth while Thor was here, so he KNEW about S.H.I.E.L.D. and our science, and even some of our heroes. He KNEW… and BB didn’t.

“So once he gets here, he has to make this good- remember, he’s being watched. He’s also trying to play to lose.” Tony nodded at Natasha, “As several of us have noticed, a lot of what happened during the invasion didn’t make sense; now it does.

“Loki could have done the whole thing neat, quiet, and clean. Never given us a chance to know what was about to hit us until the sky ripped open and it was too late. If he’d opened up a portal near any of the power stations out in BFN, the Chitauri would have had the majority of their forces through before we could respond. The ARC reactor wasn’t needed. He could have set up near any major power plant in the world. Hell, Three Gorges Dam has more than enough power for that, but if he wanted to work from the United States there’s Grand Coulee Dam, in Washington State. It’s out in the middle of remote country; they would have had their Earth base set up before we could have responded.”

Tony felt a chill as he thought about it again. He could see the strain on everyone’s faces as they thought about it. _If it had been HOURS before they could have responded to the dimensional vortex…_

“Instead, he pretty well hands us all the information we need; does everything he can to make it personal, and get our group working together; and in the end, he all but HANDS Thor the key to disable the gate.” Natasha and Clint looked at each other meaningfully. Thor mostly looked stunned.

“All while setting it up to happen at the home address of one of the Avengers, making certain we could find it and probably stop it. All of it at the center of the information and video network in this part of the world, where, even if they tried, the Earth governments couldn’t hush this one up. Everyone out there would know about the danger: every hero, villain, mutant, and gun crazed survivalist would know.”

Tony looked around at everyone. “And we had to know, because they WILL come back, or at least BB will.

“The really sad thing is: this was supposed to warn Asgard, too. I mean, someone would look at what happened and ask, right? He practically waved the fact that he wasn’t in charge under our noses, and we all missed it, but surely Asgard would realize, right? Help us defend ourselves; help Loki to recover; start the process of preparing the other realms for war, right?”

Thor paled. Tony and Loki both smiled sharply at him.

“Instead, they just shoved him in a jail cell, in solitary so he couldn’t talk to anyone, couldn’t tell anyone about the threat. Neither of us completely understands that one, but it’s not helping us right now. Since they wouldn’t do anything about the threat, or even talk to him about it, he escaped.”

Tony nodded to Loki.

Loki smiled his very craziest psychopathic smile and spoke up, “I’ve been hiding on Midgard- Earth- for a while, of course. Trying to figure out how to hide from the ‘Big Bad’ as Anthony so charmingly puts it. It’s easier to stay near New York; the remnants of the dimensional breach actually provide a surprising amount of cover. “ He shrugged. “In between acquiring false identities and funding, I have been investigating Midgard’s defenses. In the course of that, I discovered that S.H.I.E.L.D has been rather thoroughly taken over by Hydra.”

“How do you explain routinely showing up to blow things up and trash the Avengers?!” Yelped Clint, but only because he got it out ahead of the rest of them.

“I was bored?” Loki raised an eyebrow at him.

Clint started to go off on a blistering tirade, but only got the first few curses out when Tony interrupted.

“What Loki doesn’t want to talk about- and given Thor’s jackass behavior, I can sympathize- is that he’s been having worse PTSD from his run-ins with the Big Bad, the injuries he got escaping Asgard, and everything in between, than I have; maybe worse than all of the rest of us put together. He hasn’t been thinking straight, and messing around with us was his way of blowing off steam-which is why it was mostly property and Avenger damage.”

Tony took Loki’s hand, and squeezed.

Loki looked uncomfortable, but didn’t move his hand. “As to why I wouldn’t want the scepter, Agent Barton… It was used to control my mind as well, and going anywhere near it would likely tell my former captors where I was instantly.

“Besides, I sustained rather a great deal of magical damage escaping my cell. It wasn’t exactly minimal security, and I hadn’t been completely well to begin with. In my weakened state, contact with the scepter would likely renew the control over my mind.”

He looked down at his empty tea cup.

“After all, the control had only snapped completely after I had been out of contact with the scepter for a time, and the Hulk bashed me about the building.”

He smiled sharply at Natasha. “Cranial recalibration, I believe you called it.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes i know most of my readers know all this. but the avengers (and fury) do not. what theknow they only suspect and only in pieces, so they had to get the story about Thanos now.  
> oh, and thnk about it, even IN CANON... why did they shove Loki in a cell in solitary? with minimal stimulation and almost no outside contact... and they apparently are not preparing for war. even if they thought it was "just" the chitauri?  
> according to wikipedia three gorges was completed in 2012. however since it was apparently up to full power earlier i have edited Tony's comment about it "just being online" to reflect that it wasnt "just" online. the year of the invasion.
> 
> ps i edited my choice of phrase in a different location since its a colloquial Americanism and not understood by everyone


	79. Acceptable Losses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> so, lets talk about the invasion in New York....

Bruce looked a bit startled. “Wait… the... Other guy? Snapped you out of it?”

Loki nodded. “To be specific, the combination of not having the scepter in my hands, and being hit that hard, snapped the last vestiges of control. I was never as controlled as the others were.”

Fury looked dubious. “But you are not sorry about the loss of life from the invasion, and you say S.H.I.E.L.D. is infiltrated by Hydra? It sounds rather far-fetched.”

Loki just shrugged. “It’s irrelevant to me how far-fetched you think it is. My concern is that no one in Asgard saw fit to let me even TRY to explain, and thus they will be unprepared when the actual threat behind the Chitauri arrives.”

He glanced at Thor, “As to casualties? I suggest you ask Thor what the typical Asgardian attitude is to collateral damage in a war. A few thousand people, in one city, were killed. If I had done this properly it would have been tens of millions, at least.”

Pretty much everyone looked at Thor; he winced. “I do not imagine that any of the others of Asgard would be concerned for a small number of casualties in a single city. Especially if it furthered their aims in war.” He looked uncomfortable, “I would not have, before. I would only have been concerned of the… women. It’s dishonorable to deliberately attack women. I would not have wept over incidental deaths however.”

 _It’s one thing to have Loki say that, it’s another thing to hear Thor admit it_. Bruce looked shocked; Tony suspected that if the gamma dampening effect wasn’t still going on, he would have changed.

Steve stared at Thor. “You… wouldn’t have cared that they were attacking civilians?”

Clint and Natasha both had their business faces on; Tony couldn’t tell what they thought. Fury looked annoyed, and Tony never knew what that meant. Pepper, of course, was horrified.

Thor sighed and looked down, “If… If Asgard had needed to take the city… If they were taking the city… the civilians would be spared if possible, but any with arms are warriors and would be slain and likely anyone in the way…” He looked miserable. “And no, there would be no concern for how many were killed, as long as the city fell.”

Tony said flatly, “In other words, it’s a war. That’s what happens in war; any war. Asgard was never party to any of our treaties, and Loki DID try to minimize casualties. I don’t like it, but I suspect more civilians died from my weapons than from Loki’s.”

Loki patted Tony’s hand reassuringly, then leaned forward and smiled sharply at Fury. “Of course, if the nuclear bomb had gone off in New York City, Mr. Director, it wouldn’t have been thousands of dead in the city, it would have been millions: many of whom would have died slowly and horribly.”

There was something of a collective breath as everyone was forced to remember what almost happened. Pepper went pale again.

Tony said firmly, “Yeah, before anyone goes back to what a horrible guy Loki is for being tortured and controlled by someone else, and still managing to give us the chance to win, let’s talk about that. Nuclear bomb, a nuclear bomb! In New York City. That was S.H.I.E.L.D.”

Fury looked pained. “That was the WSC.”

Steve looked levelly at Fury. “Yes, sir, it may have been an order, but you know they cover that in the military- I’m not sure about S.H.I.E.L.D. In the military they tell us about something called an illegal order. There are some orders you aren’t supposed to obey. Dropping a nuclear bomb on a civilian target? Without a Presidential order- maybe even with presidential orders-that was obeying an illegal order.”

Tony looked startled at Steve; he honestly hadn’t expected him to back him up on this. _Since when did he have actual ethics?  i mean beyond 'Sir, yes sir!'?_ Tony followed up: “So, how many of the WSC are just malevolent stupid people who never watched an alien invasion movie- ‘cause nukes NEVER work on them- and how many, do you think, are Hydra?”

For the first time Fury looked stunned.

“However,” Tony looked around at everyone. “The fact is… either Hydra manipulated S.H.I.E.L.D. into dropping a nuclear bomb on one of our own major cities, or S.H.I.E.L.D. is evil enough to do it themselves. I don’t like or trust S.H.I.E.L.D., but I hope it’s Hydra.”

Tony looked at the team. _Ok, so it’s finally out in the open, what most of us have been worried about and thinking about: Bruce wondering when they would come take him away; me wondering when the next time they would come after my tech was; probably the assassin twins wondering when they’d get orders to kill me._

Loki cleared his throat slightly. “I know that Director Fury is not Hydra, because they track him, they hide from him, and they are trying to manipulate me into killing him. There are very few others I can be certain of.”

Clint asked, “How can you be sure these guys aren’t manipulating you about that, too?”

Loki smiled at Clint – _actually smiled, even if briefly_ -“They would not last ten minutes in the court of Asgard, my-Barton.” _What had he been about to say?_ “Their games are tedious, and childish.”

Natasha asked the million dollar question, “So why would you care? I mean, I know why WE would care, but why would YOU care? If Hydra exists, and they have S.H.I.E.L.D. doing what they want, wouldn’t that be just as effective to keeping the Big Bad off as S.H.I.E.L.D. would be?”

“I knew I liked you, little spider,” Loki grinned at her. “It wouldn’t matter to me at all.” He paused slightly, “But…”

 _Damned diva had to have the spotlight and the dramatic pause_. Tony spoiled it for him by rolling his eyes.

Loki looked exasperated at him. “Stop that.”

“Stop being a diva.” Tony said to Loki.

Tony grinned at Nat, “I’m irresistible. That’s why.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i think its important to mention- again- that the characters opinions do not always reflect my opinions. In addition my POV characters tend to have some pretty heavily held biases.


	80. The fire was accidental, though -Loki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> even if he was mad as hell, even if he kind of hates him, they still have way more time being brothers than enemies.

“Anthony’s ego hardly needs the help, but while he is certainly not irresistible, he IS the reason I have decided to work against Hydra.” Loki desperately wanted to throttle his pet right now, but he suspected the Avengers would take it amiss.

Fury looked curiously at Loki, “Why? Why would it matter whether it was S.H.I.E.L.D. or Hydra just because you’re sleeping with Stark?”

“Shall we, as you asked earlier, start at the beginning? The fact is that when I arrived back on Earth, I was trying to determine if your group was still capable of working together. It was by no means something I could just assume.”

Judging from the looks everyone gave each other, they at least understood that much.

“In addition, I found sparring to be… relaxing.”

“SPARRING?!” Banner, Rogers, and Barton managed to shout that in unison: Loki noted with some amusement that their voices complemented each other; perhaps they should sing together.

Fury drily asked, “That was sparring? You broke Stark’s arm pretty badly, you hit Rogers with a car, and buried Thor under about ten trees and set them on fire.”

Many of the mortals looked smug or disbelieving at him. Anthony just grinned, “So, Point Break, is any of what Loki has done to us in our fights since he got back out of line for friendly fights in Asgard?”

Thor looked confused, “No, of course not.”

“Burying you under ten trees and setting it on FIRE isn’t out of line?!” Barton had certainly woken up.

“Well, it might be a bit much…” Thor said slowly.

“Thank God, I was beginning to think you’d lost your-“

“…if he wasn’t my brother,” Thor continued. “He knows that wouldn’t bother me that much; besides, I did it to him a few hundred years ago.”

“It’s true, he did,” Loki added pleasantly. “Well, it was five trees, and I think the fire was accidental.”

“Truly! It was, I assure you! I had no idea the trees were that dry else I would never have-“

“ENOUGH!” Fury pushed himself up with both hands on the table. “As much as I think you need to have this conversation, I want to know IF Loki’s helping us, and WHY.”

There were a few moments of disgruntled silence as people got themselves settled again.

“In any event,” Loki continued, “As I said, I was speaking to Hydra about their interests, which included removing the Avengers and certain key S.H.I.E.L.D. personnel. I had not said that I would, nor that I would not… yet. The Avengers were potentially of more value against an invasion than they… but a larger force, especially with the technology that was already in existence, could be better prepared. I was debating.”

Romanoff stated, “Then you got obsessed with Tony.”

“Sadly, yes.”

“Sadly? Hey! That’s-“

“Hush, Anthony. Sadly ‘obsessed’, as in ‘not thinking clearly’, which is always an issue. As I said, I had not been well, and escaping injured me far more than I care to admit, or perhaps re-injured me.” Loki sighed, “I had about decided to take Hydra up on their various offers, since I had begun planning to act against Anthony in any case.” He turned to look at Anthony, “I DID tell you my intentions were… not kind, at first.”

“Yeah, I know. You were going to humiliate me and then kill me, or kidnap me, or something.”

“Oh no, I wasn’t going to kidnap you until AFTER I resolved not to harm you,” he said hurriedly. “Before that, I was just going to torment you a bit and then kill you!”

“Oh, right.”

“Anthony, really, I had no dishonorable intentions… err… by Asgardian standards.”

“Doesn’t anyone else have a problem with this?” Ms. Potts sounded distressed.

“Oh yeah,” Barton nodded.

Banner was muttering something about, “Addams family.”

“Faeries,” grumbled Rogers.

Anthony glared at Rogers, “Hey, this has got nothing to do with me being gay- and anyway I’m bi, not gay!”

Rogers blinked at him and then flushed deeply, “NO! No… I meant that literally. Faeries, you know: the folk? Um… they have…their own rules.” He waved his hands, “It sounds just like this. Killing you or kidnapping you is perfectly honorable as long as it’s done by the rules. The fair folk are great ones for rules… assuming you can figure out what the rules are.”

Anthony blinked a lot at him; his teammates mostly did likewise.

Banner nodded, “Kind of like what I was thinking about the Addams Family… how putting arsenic in the food is just part of the recipe, or something: It’s only a problem to outsiders. I think, seriously, that we may have underestimated how very different Asgardian culture is.”

Fury was speaking through gritted teeth, “So can you tell me how your current arrangement with Stark makes a difference?”

Loki pulled himself back on topic with an effort- he hadn’t realized Rogers was worth speaking to before, but this sounded fascinating- “Hydra wants all of you dead, although they would settle for ‘removed’. I COULD have simply removed Anthony-taken him away someplace- but I now understand that would harm him.”

Anthony moved to stand behind Loki again, and put his hand on Loki’s shoulder. “Loki got here just barely in time to save my life. That meant he had to use some magics that were… not what he had planned.”

Loki sighed, “Putting it bluntly, I had been thinking to bind Anthony to me, as a subject of sort; Instead, I had to use a stronger, and less controlled, magic. Anthony and I are bound as equals.”

Thor inhaled sharply.

Loki reluctantly rolled back his sleeve and turned his arm, showing a scarred rune caved into it. Anthony moved his shirt aside to show the matching rune on his upper chest.

“He was unconscious… he couldn’t …” Thor sounded very small.

“He had already consented to other bindings; the blade was charged; and I managed to reach him enough to consent. “ Loki felt tired, suddenly. “Enough, anyway… Leave it, Thor, it’s done.”

“What’s going ON?” Barton was looking back and forth between them.

Fury pinched the bridge of his nose, “I’d like an answer as well.”

“The part you need to know, Director, is that if anything too drastic happens to either of us, the other will likely suffer. If either of us is killed, the other is quite likely to die. In addition, being linked as we are, I have to consider Anthony’s mental and spiritual well-being as well, and therefore I cannot possibly ally with Hydra, even if it was the better tactic.”

Anthony shrugged, “The point is that as much as I dislike S.H.I.E.L.D., Hydra is a different order of problem. I won’t have Loki allied with them. I’d know, he couldn’t keep it from me, and at least one of us would end up dead.”

Romanoff nodded, “Alright, so do you know WHO the key people working for Hydra are?”

Anthony looked gratefully at her. “He knows some, but by no means everyone. Me? I’m kind of wondering if the doctor I mistrusted so much is Hydra; he might be, or it could have just been he reminded me of someone, or something. Loki doesn’t know.”

Loki was just tired. “I know a Senator, a few influential people here and there, and a few people in S.H.I.E.L.D., that are Hydra. I do not know how many others there are, but they cannot have too much control, or you would not be of any concern to them; you wouldn’t be alive.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> seriously, they have HISTORY together. lots of it.  
> that isnt erased in a few years. the problems aren't totally new, as i think I've made clear, but... sigh. i actually know people who would knife each other one minute and the next they are trading old stories and stuff. Family. its weird.  
> also a hint of "no one gets to kill him but me" in there....  
> and yes, Steve Rogers the over100 year old Irish man is talking about the fair folk...and the geek is talking about the Addams family. sue me


	81. Double Blind –Loki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is Loki's POV... in which you hear Fury begin to explain some of his secrets, and Tony explaining HIS POV.   
> (sorry if thats confusing)

Fury muttered, “Hydra. That’s why I couldn’t figure it out.” Then he looked up and his voice gained its usual authority: “Alright, all you clowns - and you, Ms. Potts- pay attention, because you get this once, and only once: one of the reasons I put the Avengers initiative together, over the objections of the WSC, was because I already knew some of this.”

Anthony fell silent. _Truly this was a day of miracles._ _If only he wasn’t so tired._

“It never occurred to me that the people behind this were Hydra. It figures: the best way to hide an asset is if the asset is dead, and everyone knows they’re dead. I’ve used that before- it’s an old trick- I just wasn’t looking that far back.”

“You… formed the Avengers... because you knew about THIS?” Anthony hated being behind on anything; Loki could feel his frustration battering at the link.

“I started forming the Avengers because I knew that there was something rotten in the state of Denmark, but I couldn’t find out who, or what. I needed a loud and obvious distraction: a red flag to wave at the bullshit.” Fury snorted. _Which he shouldn’t do after mentioning bulls; he sounded like one_.

“Then we had a real emergency- exactly the kind of thing I officially needed you for- and suddenly I not only had to put the team together FASTER, but I needed you to do something critical, not just be a shiny distraction.” He looked as though he was thinking about something distasteful.

“In for a penny, in for a pound,” he grumbled.

“I told most of you that I sold it to the WSC based on the idea of having a small, mobile team that could respond to the really unusual threats.” Everyone nodded, and he continued, “But only one of you ever really questioned it. That wasn’t how I sold it to the WSC.

“I sold it to them on the grounds of putting our least reliable-” he nodded at Anthony-

“our most public-” Rogers-

“our least controllable-” Banner-

“assets in one very public and flashy team, that would be on the frontlines to take the blame if anything went wrong.” He smiled tightly, “Backed up and guarded by two very competent, but questionable agents, who wouldn’t be too bad to lose if we had to take them out, too.”

Romanoff didn’t look surprised, Loki noted, although everyone else did. Barton’s mouth was a thin, hard line at the last part; he hadn’t reacted much before that. Anthony looked like he was very upset to be proven right- a feeling Loki knew only too well.

_Very clever, but you have judged him aright; his secrets have secrets, we are not yet come to the depths of them._

Rogers was speaking, “You… you put the team together because we were expendable?”

Fury shook his head, “No. That’s how I sold it to the WSC. Then I doubled down after the invasion, and pointed out that now even my covert agents were too public to do anything useful except Avengers work.”

Ms. Potts looked at Natasha in shock. “I knew you were originally here to spy on us... you mean you … you never stopped?”

“I’m sorry, Pepper,” Romanoff said gently. “No, I never stopped.”

Anthony nodded, “I couldn’t tell you Pepper, you don’t lie worth a damn when it’s personal. You do ok to the reporters and stuff, but… Hell, you came pretty close to telling people about my issues because you TRUSTED them.” Anthony shook his head and looked pitying at Ms. Potts. “I’m sorry, Pep, they aren’t just here to spy; I figured they were here to kill us if we got out of line.”

Ms. Potts looked shocked, and there were protesting noises from some of the others, but Romanoff just looked wide eyed at him and sputtered, “If you knew that, you idiot, why did you let us move into your HOME?!”

The evil grin his darling Anthony gave her warmed Loki inside like a fire. _They always underestimate you, don’t they Elskan skáld mín._

“Why does everyone forget that I’m a genius?” He paused in his declamations to look longingly toward the bar. “Damn, no scotch,” he muttered, then resumed in his usual voice, “Of course I knew you were here as our leash. S.H.I.E.L.D. has been trying to get people in here since forever. I figured Rogers was here as an obvious leash, the guy who would openly call S.H.I.E.L.D. or try to get someone to come in voluntarily. He’s the team leader relaying orders.”

Rogers protested, “I wouldn’t do anything…”

“Wouldn’t call in and tell Fury about my business if you thought it was something he needed to know? Wouldn’t ‘do it for your own good’ and turn Bruce over to S.H.I.E.L.D. if you thought he went out of control, all secure in the knowledge that they’re the GOOD guys and you were doing the right thing? You’re their obvious leash because you’d do it out of a sense of honor and duty and never even know you sold us to hell, Steve.”

Rogers folded into himself with a pained look. _You are so much like Thor: so certain; so noble; and so easily fooled._

“Clint and Natasha there are the spies, duh? They’re here to plant bugs all over my tower, steal my technology, spy on the team, drug us if needed, and kill us if we got out of line. Bruce and I- and maybe Thor when he’s here- we’re the prisoners. You’re the guards.”

Romanoff just sighed. Ms. Potts bolted toward the nearest bathroom. Banner looked sad, but unsurprised.

Anthony shook his head with a sad smile, “And after the number of times I’ve been betrayed, you think I’m that easy to fool?”

Barton looked… tired and wounded. “You knew? That’s horrible. I wish you hadn’t known. I’m sorry.”

Anthony looked startled. “You are?”

Barton sounded miserable, “Nat and I figured you could be managed; we shouldn’t ever have to kill you. I mean, if worst came to worst we’d be able to blame any tech thefts on a supervillain. We… we didn’t want to have to kill any of you, but I swear I never thought you’d see it coming.”

Romanoff nodded, “We had several plans in place, just in case; quite painless, and you were to have never known.”

Anthony raised an eyebrow at the two of them, “That’s… unexpectedly considerate of you, I guess.”

_Ah, the Hawk was not so close to you when last I knew him._

Bruce just shook his head, “Pepper and I may be the only sane ones here, I think.”

Loki fought to keep from laughing. _And what does it say that I agree with you? You are at least among the sanest present._

“So,” Anthony shrugged, “Why tell us now, Director? I mean, I kind of appreciate the honesty- I never really expected it- but why now?”

Fury had been watching his Anthony with an increasingly confused look. “I thought you were oh so concerned about your sex life getting out, even to your friends. Now you tell me you knew they were spying on you and maybe going to kill you? What gives?”

“Sad to say, Director, that I could at least trust them not to stab me in the back pre-emptively- which makes them the closest things to friends I have, aside from Bruce and Pepper. So sue me, I didn’t want to lose their respect. I also didn’t want S.H.I.E.L.D. to have that to hang over my head. It’s one thing to know you’re a back-stabbing asshole, Fury- it’s another thing to hand you the knife.”

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel sorry for Pepper. Yes she honestly thought Natasha was no longer spying on SI, herself, or Tony for Fury. (well no more than anyone who is "looking after his best interests"). It never crossed her mind that a couple of trained assassins might be there to KILL anyone. She means well, but she's really a muggle.  
> Oh, and honestly ? Clint is VERY sad that Tony knew that. that must have been hurtful, and Clint (especially) and Natasha kind of like Tony even if he is a jerk, so he shouldn't have known and should have been all happy and innocent, like Pepper. why does everyone forget Tony is a mildly paranoid genius? why?


	82. Let’s make a deal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Tony puts an offer on the table, but what he wants in exchange may be too pricey.

 

“If…” Steve spoke up, “If that’s true… if what both of you are saying is true… why offer us hospitality? If you thought that...” -he looked pained at Clint and Natasha, then back at Tony- “If that was true... how could you expect us to keep it?”

Tony grinned. “Oh, I didn’t… I expected THOR to keep it, and Loki.” He looked thoughtfully at Steve, “And I already trusted Bruce and Pepper. You were… unexpected.”

“You don’t trust me?”

“Why the living hell would I ever have trusted you, Steve? The first time you’ve given me any reason to trust you to side with me over S.H.I.E.L.D. was today, but we can have that discussion another day. I have to go pry Pepper out of the bathroom.”

“Let me,” Bruce said gently, “I think she may be mad at you right now.”

“Me?! Why would she be mad at me!?”

“For not telling her a good friend of hers was lying to her.”

“Oh.” _Tony felt himself starting to sink into darkness again. It was so easy to fall apart: he couldn’t trust anyone; no one understood; he messed up even when he was trying to protect people…_

 _‘You can trust me.’_ And Loki’s hand was on his, and suddenly everything was going to be ok.

Fury cleared his throat. “As unexpected as your side of this is, I re-iterate that I wanted the Avengers put together to deal with unusual and extra-ordinary threats.”

“Like me, Director?” Loki smirked, releasing Tony’s hand.

“Yes, like you. Like a lot of things.” Fury stopped and waited until Bruce and Pepper were back at the table. Pepper looked really crushed.

“Really, I do like-“ Natasha started.

Pepper cut her off, “Tony was right, and I don’t want to hear it.”

“For those of us used to working with deception, Ms. Potts,” Loki said, sounding slightly hesitant, “the fact that she was assigned to be here doesn’t mean she didn’t become fond of anyone. It’s even been known to… complicate matters.”

The discussion was interrupted by an anguished cry. “Brother!” Thor was looking desperately at Loki, “ You are the one who understands such things! I beg you, my head is spinning, please explain it!”

Thor was twisting his hand in his hair in a familiar fashion. _Where have I seen that… oh, Loki does that_.

Loki sighed, “Thor, we are deep in a game of layered meanings… and Director Fury has not even gotten to the reason why he showed this much of his arsenal of truths and lies. Be patient and I shall try to explain it.”

“But these are my FRIENDS, Loki!”

“No, Thor.” Loki’s voice was unexpectedly gentle, as if he was telling a small child that Santa Claus wasn’t real, “They MAY be your friends, or they may not. Their allegiances are not to you as Prince, nor to Asgard, nor to many years of comradery. They are warriors of another kingdom, allied to you for the moment. You have always been foolish that way, brother- it is why I did not, and do not, think you ready to be King.” Loki sounded very patient, “The only one I KNOW is your friend is Anthony.”

Fury looked calculatingly at Tony and Loki. “Like I said, this is not a situation I anticipated.”

“I’m sure it bugs you; I know I’m sure as fuck not happy with it.” Tony smiled, but it wasn’t a happy smile, “So. You guys have a ton of blackmail on me, now, that would HURT if it went public, but if you break hospitality you lose any chance of good dealings with Asgard, because no matter what colossal dicks they may be, hospitality is absolute to them. Stalemate. Next?”

“Next, Stark, is the fact that I upgrade you a good bit in my estimation of your capability. I had no idea you were capable of using that brain of yours for anything but inventing useful toys.” -he actually looked a little impressed, although who knew how genuine that was- “But the fact remains that right now, the people in this room, plus about ten others, are the only people I can be certain are NOT Hydra.”

Steve was startled enough to interrupt, “That few?”

“As I said, I knew there was some kind of power play going on, and a lot of stuff being hidden from me, and I won’t stand for it. The OTHER reason I put together this team is that you are NOT beholden to any faction in S.H.I.E.L.D other than me, if that. The main reason you got Romanoff and Barton is because   no one else has their loyalty. There are no other top level assassins in S.H.I.E.L.D. where I can be as certain that if they ever turn on me, it’s not because they owe their loyalty to another team.”

“You don’t… you don’t even trust them?! But I thought they were here to kill us?” Pepper was still shaking.

“First of all, they are not ‘here to kill you’: they are here to spy, gather intelligence, and help the team stay alive. They are only here to kill anyone if I order it, and only if I see no better way out of a bad situation.” He sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose again, “Ms. Potts, I do not completely trust anyone. There are people I find more predictable, and people I trust more, or less, but that’s about it. Barton has issues, but I have reason to think he won’t turn on me. Romanoff needs cover, and S.H.I.E.L.D., previously, and Stark currently, provide that. They both actually care about each other, which means they have even less reason to double cross me. Unlike some other options out there, they both know I have never tossed an asset out in the cold. I stand by my people as long as they do their job, and in this business Ms. Potts, that’s gold.

“ I actually trust Stark a lot more right now because he’s apparently capable of better planning and comprehension than I thought, which means I can appeal to his reason with more success. That’s about as good as you’re going to get.”

“Indeed,” Loki said smoothly. “So, while we are not all friends here, we all have reason to put aside our differences and deal with matters. Since Hydra wants you all dead, and will therefore not be useful to defense, they have to be removed, or suborned. From what Anthony has said, removed seems best. If this were anyplace but Midgard-Earth- I would have a better grasp on the politics, but in this case I shall have to defer to local expertise. My concerns are limited: Anthony must remain safe, and I must remain hidden from both the Big Bad, and from Asgard, or at least not be able to be more than glimpsed.”

Tony addressed Fury. “I can do a hell of a lot more than I have been, as far as local politics and spying is concerned. The main reason I HAVEN’T is that it was safer, and a lot easier, to be uninvolved and just worry about my tower, my friends, and my tech. So let’s make a deal.”

Tony looked at Fury firmly, “Now that we know what we’re looking for… I can take apart S.H.I.E.L.D.’s information systems- Hydra has to be using them to communicate- and find out who knows what. I can use, or build, tools to take any serious trouble down quietly, and I can give everyone here, and anyone else I approve, a secure, untraceable communication link that Hydra can’t touch.   Loki, meanwhile, can be out there as a double agent, or at least an information source into Hydra. He can also make sure that, if anyone needs to be removed from public view, Hydra thinks he got them, so they’re taken care of.

“In addition, I continue to fund the Avengers, I supply THIS group-not all of S.H.I.E.L.D. - with equipment, and I may keep building stuff for the rest of them, but that’s on a contract basis. That’s my starting offer.”

Fury nodded, “Impresssive. What do you want, Stark?”

“I want the Avengers, basically.” Tony looked around. Pepper was still pretty upset. Steve looked pretty shocked. _Well he was kind of a black and white guy, I guess_. Bruce just grinned, but then again, he’d had some time to get used to this. The assassin twins... that was worth it. Natasha actually looked visibly stunned before she put her face back together; it was quick, but Tony had been watching. Clint looked… hopeful. That was kind of sad, actually.

“I want everyone working for me, or at least not reporting on me. No one gives any information on me, or about my stuff, to ANYONE without my direct permission. I want S.H.I.E.L.D. and all their assets to leave me, my people- and that includes Loki- the fuck alone. You say you never leave an asset out in the cold? Well, from now on that means us, except I don’t answer to you: you ASK me if you want anything. From now on, everyone in this room, and a few other people I’ll list separately, is untouchable.”

“You want US?” Natasha asked him very slowly.

“I need to know you’ve got my back, Nat. I don’t expect to trust you for a long time, but before this it was good enough to just keep you- and any other S.H.I.E.L.D. people- where I could see them, but for this I’d be lowering my guard, and putting my hole cards on the table. If any of you acted against me after this?” He shook his head. “The only reason this might work is because of Clint; I think I could learn to trust Clint.”

“I thought you said you didn’t trust me?” Steve sounded all hurt and crap.

“Steve, seriously? Look at it from my point of view… You never met an order you didn’t like. You hate everything I do. You constantly talk about my father- and I heard enough out of him about how I don’t measure up; I don’t need it from you too- and you tattle like a school snitch. I’ve only ever heard two things out of you that make me even BEGIN to trust you: you actually managed to come up with the phrase ‘illegal order’ all by yourself; and you apparently take hospitality seriously. You may have other redeeming features, but you never showed ME any of them. Hell, I know more about, and spend more time with, Clint; which is why I trust him more, and he’s on call to kill me!”

Clint cleared his throat, “Um... not that I have any issues with this, actually, but… if you don’t trust us just saying ‘deal’- and I don’t blame you for that- how are you going to trust us with this?”

Loki smiled- he was looking pretty damned tired- “Once I recover a bit more -no more than two days at most- I can use magic to bind everyone to their agreements. As Thor can attest, such bindings are difficult- if not impossible- to break. If you betrayed your word, you would suffer and likely die. Everyone here could be bound to keep the bargain. “

Tony looked pointedly at Fury and the others, “I CAN’T let my guard down that far, show you everything I can do, and let you put a knife in my back. It would bind me, too, you know, and Loki.   It’s just giving the hospitality agreement some teeth, for the most part.”

Tony shrugged, “But as to the Avengers… If you three”- he nodded at Steve, Clint, and Natasha- “don’t want to be Avengers, that’s fine. You go back to S.H.I.E.L.D. and I hope you have a good life, but if you want… then I need you to be AVENGERS… not S.H.I.E.L.D., and not Fury’s leashes.”

Fury looked at his agents, and at the rest of them. “I won’t make that call for them: I don’t know where they want to be when this is all over with; but as to the rest of it? Deal.”

Clint nodded and got up and walked over to Loki. _Ok, so is he going to hit him? Kiss him? Scream about how he never calls? What?!_

A lot of the tension seemed to have gone out of Clint in the walk over. “Then, since we seem to be working together”- Clint scowled, looking down at Loki- “You look like shit, and you’ve exhausted yourself, AGAIN.   Are you going to let yourself be put to bed voluntarily? Or do I have to drug your damn tea like last time?”

 

 

 

%MCEPASTEBIN%

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, its Thanksgiving, and i wasn't going to update today... but i woke up early so i had time.  
> And i am sorry/not sorry for leaving you on that cliffhanger until Monday.


	83. Clint

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint has conflicted feelings.

It really was eerily silent after that, which was why everyone could hear the conversation so well.

“I thought you wanted to kill me, Agent Barton?” Loki sounded like it was just a matter of some curiosity; nothing important, just asking. _I’ve tried that trick; it doesn’t work when people know you._

“I do,” Clint glared down at him, “I also have an overwhelming urge to drag you away from the team, smack you in the back of the head for being an idiot, and find out the last time you drank anything that wasn’t caffeinated.”

Loki smiled again, and it was obvious- really, really obvious- that this was genuine. “I missed you.”

Natasha was looking as though someone had turned her world upside down and shaken it like a snowglobe, and that was absolutely not how Tony felt right now, not even slightly.

Clint KICKED him; Loki didn’t seem to notice much, or mind. “Yeah? Well maybe I miss the times you seemed sort of sane, but I sure as fuck don’t miss the rest of it. Did you even EAT today?”

“Clint?” Natasha didn’t sound like herself; she sounded... confused. _That was probably projection; I’m sure confused._ “Do I need to hit you over the head again? Or kill Loki? Or...” -she suddenly looked deeply suspicious, which was a WAY more normal expression on her face- “Is this some kind of joke?”

Clint just snorted. “Look at him. He hasn’t even gotten up and snarked at me. If this was TONY, what would it mean?”

Bruce was the first one to manage to answer that: “That he was in really bad shape, and had been locked in his lab for way too long, and hadn’t eaten or slept?”

Tony winced, “Well, we didn’t really get any sleep to speak of.”

“In the words of my poet, ‘I’m right here’,” Loki said drily. Tony noticed that he didn’t get up, or stalk out, or… move much. _Damn, he wasn’t just tired, he was exhausted._

Fury seemed to be having a concerted attack of disbelief right about now.

Thor, on the other hand: “It... it is viewed as... unmanly to show weakness.” -he had the good grace to look sheepish, so Tony guessed he wouldn’t have to kill him- “But probably all of us are tired, and in need of food, are we not?”

Steve continued to be replaced by a much nicer pod person: “Wow! It HAS been while, and no one is going to do well on just coffee, right? Order in?”

Clint headed to the kitchen, muttering something Tony couldn’t make out.

 _Right. Food, just because I routinely forget to eat… Thor ate like a blast furnace and even if Loki wasn’t really Asgardian he probably needed to eat._ “How about Shawarma? Catering order of protein? Sounds good, guys?”

Probably out of a desperation to NOT deal with what they just saw, everyone settled down to ordering side dishes, and what they wanted to drink- Natasha ordering for Clint- and agreed to dispatch Steve and Thor to go pick it up because it would be faster. Tony got both of their orders in and started making his way back to Loki.

Fury looked in the direction of the kitchen and rubbed the bridge of his nose again. “I have a couple of phone calls to make.”

Before any of them could leave, Clint walked back in and slammed down a full glass of milk, a bowl full of cereal, and an apple in front of Loki. “Eat.”

Tony tried really, really hard not to stare. _The fuck is going on here?!_

Natasha had sort of sunk onto the sofa. Tony noticed with some alarm that she was beginning- just beginning- to look amused.

“Everyone’s food will be here soon enough, Hawk.” Loki looked terribly touched.

Bruce and Pepper were standing in a frozen sort of fashion off to the side.

“And everyone else, SIR”-Clint managed to make ‘sir’ sound like a synonym for ‘asshole’- “has had breakfast at least… but you probably stayed up to make sure Tony was ok; and then, since Tony never eats breakfast, YOU didn’t eat breakfast.” Clint shoved the apple into Loki’s hand and snarled, “Now eat that or I’ll stuff it down your throat.”

Thor… Thor looked like he was… pleased? Proud? Tony wished he wasn’t so DAMNED confused.

Clint spun and glared at everyone, and took up a defensive pose. “What? He’s always like this. He insisted all the people on the team had regular breaks and meals and sleep, and meanwhile he worked himself into the ground. If I hadn’t put food in front of him on a regular basis, he would have fallen over into the equipment.”

Steve was staring at Loki-not Clint- with an expression of complete shock.

Clint grumbled, “Best damned commanding officer I ever fucking had, and a complete idiot.”

Tony managed to squeak out, “You’re… his… Pepper?”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, how do you think YOU would do if there is the horror of mind control, and the fact that people got hurt by your actions.. but the guy treated you with respect, never micromanaged, trusted your judgement, and was generally better than the people you have to work with every day at S.H.I.E.L.D.?


	84. Sharply worded memos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which there is more explanation, and Clint is proven right. also Loki plans on killing some people (in a good cause)

Steve cleared his throat, “I’d gotten the impression he was…“-he looked around at the others, and then nodded at Loki- “less reasonable.”

Natasha murmured something in Russian and then said to Clint, “You never told me that.”

Fury growled out, “Barton, he threatened to have you torture Romanoff.”

Loki spoke up, “I threatened ROMANOFF, Director Fury, when Barton was nowhere nearby to hear it. I never threatened my Hawk with any such thing.” Loki was frowning, “Romanoff didn’t work for me.”

“I’m lost.” Tony figured he may as well admit it; no point in trying to salvage any of his pride at this point.   He sat down next to Loki and took his hand. Tony was almost driven to the ground by the feelings of exhaustion, depression, and dizziness. “SHIT!” he yelped, staring at Loki. He felt the shields going back up.

Tony growled at him, “Don’t waste your energy, you idiot; it’s too late. God DAMN, Clint was right.” He yanked his hand back and glared at him. “Eat the damned apple or I’LL shove it down your throat.”

Clint looked over at Natasha, and his expression softened. “It would have been a hell of a lot easier to deal with if he’d been an abusive asshole, Nat. The… scepter part… that was a horror show, but he was a good commander.”

Tony was listening intently, while pouring milk on Loki’s cereal and glaring threats at him.

Fury scrubbed at his face with one hand, “So why am I only just NOW hearing this?”

“Because any sign of affection, respect, or positive regard toward Loki got you thrown back into the psych department for more ‘deprogramming’ until you hated him enough that they liked your answers?... Sir?” ‘Sir’ still sounded a little like ‘asshole’, only with a side of ‘are you stupid?’ thrown in for good measure.

Loki narrowed his eyes-Tony interrupted immediately: “Loki, you are NOT making any decisions about killing anyone until you feel better, AND discuss it with the people involved.”

Tony saw the confused looks and said, “He was thinking about killing the psych department.”

“No, I was planning HOW to kill the psych department. There’s a difference,” Loki said firmly.

“Shouldn’t that be, ‘Loki, you aren’t killing anyone’, Stark?” Fury asked curiously.

“I’m no hero, Fury; why do you think I have a problem with killing people?” _Besides, someone touched Loki’s stuff._ He wasn’t sure how he felt about Clint being Loki’s stuff, but he’d figure that out later.

“The whole ‘I’m not making weapons any more’ thing? You made that a pretty big deal, Stark.”

“I’m not making weapons anymore: I AM a weapon- I always have been. I used to be a weapon-making weapon, then I was a ‘don’t touch my stuff’ weapon, and now I’m a ‘Hydra tried to touch my stuff’ Hydra-killing weapon. I don’t want to kill innocent people, or even ‘not-so-guilty’ people, and I won’t make weapons like I did because other people aren’t me, and then I don’t know what they’d do with it.” _Really, why was this so difficult for people to understand?_

Pepper looked anxiously at him, “I... thought we talked about this.”

“We did, Pep. You just didn’t hear me. I get it, you’re kind and nice and it takes a LOT to push you to the point where you want someone to die, and even more to push you to the point where you’d actually do anything. The Avengers? We go out and fight people and some of them die. It’s what we do, and the only one of us that hates that is Bruce, which is why I try to keep him safe, like you.”

Clint came over and shoved a packaged cake of some kind at Loki. Tony blinked and then waved at him, “Natasha and Clint are assassins, for God’s sake! Do you think they send sharply worded memos to people?” -He glanced over at Pepper- “Well, admittedly one of your sharply worded memos can be pretty painful.”

Loki spoke quietly, “Anthony would be a poor ruler if he shied from bloodshed, just as much as if he reveled in it.”

Tony grinned at him, “Still no thrones here.”

Thor coughed, and… _was he wiping at his eyes?_ “Yes, well, the food should be ready; we shall go and get the shawarma.”

Fury sighed, “I REALLY need to make those phone calls.”

People started heading to the elevator, so Tony asked, “Pepper? Can you double check that everything out there is running smoothly, so we can have lunch in peace?”

Pepper suddenly looked at her watch and made that adorable huffing squeak she made when she was trying not to swear. “I have to go. This got started late and I have a meeting I can’t cancel.” She turned to the elevator and called back, “Send me a platter.”

Once they were gone, Bruce looked around at everyone with that half smile he had. “So, I’ll head down to my rooms and get a shower; I’d like to wash up and put some of my own clothes on.”

Tony blinked; he’d forgotten Bruce was in Tony’s sweats. “Oh! Right! Sorry, I forgot.”

Then it was just the four of them: Clint and Natasha and Loki and himself.

“Right.” Tony looked around and sighed, “I think we need to talk, so- since Bruce just abandoned me to a relationship discussion- let’s talk.”

 

%MCEPASTEBIN%

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thor is sniffling and wiping away tears because LOKI, his brother, was such a GOOD commander (important to Asgardians) as to develop this kind of loyalty. sniffle.  
> also Loki is talking about Tony in such high praises *as an Asgardian would understand*. Mom is gonna be so proud....


	85. OTP

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Relationship discussions would go better if they had longer between interruptions

Clint frowned, “What’s to talk about? He was a good commander; I have conflicted feelings about that; and I still want to kill him.” He shrugged. “Business first.”

Natasha just drily stated, “Seems like a bit more than conflicted feelings, Clint.”

Tony looked up from making Loki finish the cereal- _at least he was looking better_ \- “Look, I ran a sneaky test and I’m telling you both to cut the bullshit. Loki knows how to tuck you in with a blanket, he knows how you take your coffee-and he hates coffee- and you act like a dom Pepper. You act like lovers; Pepper and I were, even if it didn’t work out.” _What would Pepper and I have looked like if we’d only ever been friends, could that be the answer?_

Loki immediately protested again, “I told you, it’s not like that!” at about the same time as Clint made a face and pantomimed gagging motions.

Tony shook his head. “Ok, it’s ‘not like that’; then tell me what it’s like, because I don’t get it.”

“Ok, tell me how you two can work,” Clint snorted.

“I dunno, how do you and Natasha?” Tony retorted, and got a snorted laugh from Natasha and outright cackling from Clint. Loki just raised an eyebrow.

“See? See!? It’s that secret eyebrow semaphore thing; ok, it’s not just Pepper and Natasha… you do it too.” Tony felt vindicated. “I think I’m even learning to translate it: that means ‘I have no idea what’s going on but I refuse to lower my dignity enough to ask.’”

Given how annoyed Loki looked at him, Tony knew he was right.

Natasha tilted her head and said, “I’ll explain, if you’ll answer a question for me.”

“Shoot. Oh, shit, no don’t shoot I didn’t mean that literally…” Tony blinked a lot and tried to stop babbling. _Man this is way too much stress for one day._

“Given that you are a masochist with an interest in knife play-“

“SAY WHAT?!” Clint sat bolt upright and stared at Natasha with a stunned look.

“Remember I said our background checks failed?” She eyebrow wiggled at Clint, and Tony –who was getting good at this- read that as, ‘Later, let me finish’. He must have been right because Clint shut up, even if he did look like he was about to throttle an answer out of someone.

“GIVEN that,” Natasha glared at Clint before continuing, “Why didn’t you ever express any interest in me? You were interested when I was your PA, but… once you found out who I was-what I was- you lost interest. Given that you found out I was an aggressive spy with a lot of knives and other toys, I would expect you to be MORE interested.”

“That… is actually a good question, gæludýr minn.” Loki was looking like he had a bit more color in his face, and was sitting up straight again.

Tony looked at them, “Three against one? That’s unfair.” When all three of them just kept looking at him he gave up: “It’s not something I thought about much before, ok? Let me think.”

He thought for a bit and finally said, “I think… I think it’s not the way you think it is. I mean I was only really interested in you as my PA because you were hot.” He waved at Natasha, “I mean come on, look at you.”

Clint made an agreement noise; Loki just shrugged.

“I never thought of you as anyone I would do anything serious with; you were just hot, so I flirted. It’s… just what’s expected? It’s… just a reflex.” He sighed. “Once you stabbed me in the back, Natasha, it was over. Forget it. I couldn’t get it up around you if I had a hand full of Viagra. Frankly it’s been all I could manage to try to deal with you as a teammate.”

“Then why ask for us?”

“One, because you two ARE an ‘us’: if I want Clint I get you. Two, because you’ve been Nicky Boy’s pet Stark hunter, and I don’t want to let him keep you.” He paused. “I still don’t know why you helped get Loki out of here in the first place; I gotta admit that’s got me wondering.”

Natasha changed the subject by bringing back up the original one. “You asked how Clint and I work?” she smiled, “We don’t. I know it’s difficult for you to believe, Stark, but we aren’t lovers.”

Tony snorted, “Bull.”

Clint just grinned, “It’s true. I mean we’ve had to sleep together for cover, and more often we’ve pretended to be sleeping together, but … no.”

“You two are just friends with benefits?” Tony asked incredulously.

“No,” said Natasha, “More like friends with ‘Clint is one of the few men that doesn’t make me gag’. The only benefits are that it keeps the psych boys and the other agents at bay.”

Clint stopped grinning and just shrugged. “Natasha doesn’t have much interest in recreational sex after her background. Even if she did, I don’t think we’d be each other’s types… We’re partners, not sex partners.”

Fury walked back in from the elevator.

“So Natasha said you“- Clint pointed at Tony- “are a masochist with an interest in knives? That seems…”

Tony sighed, “Sick? Yeah, I know, Pepper said-“

Loki interrupted him, “Pepper thinks it’s sick: That doesn’t mean it is.” He pulled Tony into his lap.

Tony had the sudden realization that this was happening in front of people- in front of his team; in front of Fury- and started to struggle. Loki grinned and pulled his head back by his hair.

He leaned over and spoke softly into Tony’s ear, “I could conjure ropes, right now, and take you in front of them, but why should I share even that much of you? You’re MINE.”

Tony never even realized that he’d stopped struggling and dropped into Loki’s voice until Clint’s quiet “Damn” brought him back up just a little.

“Can we can the PDA?” Fury huffed.

Loki looked amused, “Perhaps. My Anthony seems to have the idea that Agent Barton and I were intimate, and I am trying to understand his assumptions.” He stroked Tony’s hair. _That felt wonderful._ “As well as to reassure him.”

“Were you intimate?” Fury asked, looking between Clint and Loki.

“Oh for FUCK’s sake, this is the same crap I got from the psychs-“ Clint snarled, at the same time as Loki shot a glare at Fury that should have cut the man in half and said, “Certainly not.”

_It sure looked like it._

The response came across the link, _We shall speak more later, but no. Now cease your jealousy; even if we had been, you are MINE and that will not change._

Tony settled further into subspace at the word ‘mine’.

Fury shrugged. “Based on how you two act toward each other, it’s a not unreasonable assumption.” He looked speculatively at Clint. “Although based on what I know of you, Agent Barton- which Stark does not-I cannot picture that resulting in anything like this behavior.”

“Clues please?” Said Tony _. Damn his voice sounded slurred, but he was so comfortable._

Fury raised an eyebrow at Loki. “Sure looks like you did something extraordinary to him.”

Loki smirked. “I did everything extraordinary; but for now I just reminded Anthony of a few things.”

Tony was in that weird in-between space where he wasn’t completely down-exactly- and he wasn’t clear headed and awake- exactly. He wanted to either come up, or finish going under, but he didn’t want it enough to actually- you know- do anything. It was weird.

Clint glared at Fury, and oddly at Natasha a bit, “Fine, so I’m compromised; it doesn’t mean I can’t do my job. I still want to kill him, but if we’re going to work together then yeah, I’m probably going to drop back to ‘loyal second in command’ behavior. I’m never going to forgive him for killing Phil, though, so stop it.”

Through the faint haze in his mind, Tony saw Fury flinch. He probably wouldn’t have seen it if he wasn’t under just a bit. He laughed. Everyone looked at him oddly; he supposed his laugh must have sounded strange.

“So, Dread Pirate Roberts,” Tony had this strange thought cross his mind of Fury rescuing Princess Buttercup, and smiled. “You mean you haven’t even told THEM?”

“Told them WHAT Stark?” Fury looked a bit rattled at him. _Yeah, I must sound pretty weird_. _My brain to mouth filter was never that great, but when I’m down it got worse_. He found himself just saying it with a smile on his lips:

“Agent Phil Coulson isn’t dead.”

Clint stared at him stunned, but it was Natasha who spoke up: “Loki killed him, personally, Stark.”

Tony just giggled. “Oh geez, Fury didn’t tell you. I was sure you two knew, my bad, no… he got sliced up pretty bad, alright. He was in the helicarrier trauma center within two minutes. He coded at least twice in surgery, but he made it. He had a lot of muscle and lung damage, but his heart was never touched. He was in rehab most of the time. He’s been cleared to go back to light duty for over a month.” He settled further into Loki’s chest and tried not to purr, while the three S.H.I.E.L.D. agents stared at him in shock.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the chapter title is indeed "One True Pairing" because, in THIS fan fic (and only this one, thanks) Clint and Natasha are ... well as much as can be when you do sleep together for cover, not in a relationship like that. neither Clint , nor Natasha are in a relationship like that with anyone else present. so the "only" slash here is Tony/Loki.  
> I never said anything about Clint's actual relationships, just what they are NOT. (or not yet, if you guys want to keep hoping)
> 
> ps. Tahiti is only an island. the project was shelved at Coulson's insistence and the trauma team managed to save him, so Fury never felt cornered into re-activating it.


	86. but my safeword was ‘Phil’ – Loki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki's POV, but not exactly Loki-centric here.  
> a longer than usual chapter

 

 _Who was this ‘Phil’ anyway?_ Loki twisted Anthony’s hair and forced an enthusiastically received kiss on him. He saw an image in Anthony’s mind of a man in a suit: a man who threatened him; a man he was afraid of; a man the others respected. Loki bit Anthony’s lip and was rewarded with a moan of bliss, and Anthony falling further into a comfortable haze. With a significant effort Loki pulled himself free of Anthony’s mind.

His Hawk and the other two were snarling at each other about the agent’s supposed death; apparently, it had been a deep blow to his Hawk to find out Loki had killed him _. Fury would pay for that, as would this ‘psych team’ when he had the chance._

“You refer to the terribly observant man who noticed that I ‘lack conviction’? He was the only one to see through my ruse, apparently, so I am glad to hear he lives. You will need observant people.”

All three turned to look at him; he had apparently been forgotten in their upset.

Romanoff stared at his chin, “Why do you have blood on your mouth, and”- she glanced at Anthony- “Oh.”

Loki smiled, “A fortunate side effect of the bond, Agent Romanoff, is that I no longer need be quite so concerned for Anthony’s health. He will heal quickly.” Loki wiped the blood from his chin and licked his lips. “So the only one observant enough to see the truth is an associate of yours, my Hawk?”

Barton was staring at him with an expression that Loki found difficult to read.

Fury spoke very tightly, “As I said, being dead is a useful trick: it means people aren’t watching you anymore. I just hadn’t thought to look back far enough for Hydra.”

Dr. Banner walked off the elevator and froze. “What happened?”

“There is an argument among the spies; nothing that need concern you at the moment,” Loki said calmly. _The last thing we can afford to do is upset him with Anthony unable to assist_. “Perhaps you could go find out what is taking Thor and Captain Rogers so long?”

Anthony waved a hand weakly at Banner, “I could use the lunch, Bruce, Loki too. Please?” As soon as he finished talking, Anthony settled back into Loki’s chest.

Banner stared at Loki and Anthony, then looked over at the three spies suspiciously. “Jarvis? IS Tony alright?”

Jarvis answered with dry amusement, “Mr. Stark is within acceptable parameters for his physical well-being, and his mental health is in no more question than it ever was. However, he has not eaten in far too long.”

“Right…” Banner said walking slowly back to the elevator. “Please don’t kill each other?”

“No promises.” Romanoff sounded amused, which oddly seemed to reassure the doctor. The elevator closed behind him.

Loki was preparing to say something to intervene in their dispute again when Barton spoke up, his voice calmer than expected: “Does he go into subspace that easily all the time? Because I never once saw it.”

 _My Hawk knows this term? When did Barton…?_ “No. I may have overdone his lesson; Agent Romanoff was there for the discussion of it. In any event, I had to drag him back to this world to attend the meeting. I doubt he would have been coherent this entire day otherwise.” Loki shrugged, “He slipped back into it once I reassured him that you were no threat to his place.”

Barton walked over- _his body language has changed_ \- and put his fingers under Anthony’s chin and lifted his head slightly. Anthony just blinked slowly at him. “You…”-Barton’s eyes slid to Loki- “must have taken him down pretty hard.”

“And you sound like my consultant. How very odd.” Loki looked curiously at him, “You are familiar with the ‘scene’, as it is said here?”

Barton snorted. “You could say that.”

Fury interrupted, “How would Stark have that information about Coulson?”

Loki just smiled at him, “Was not part of your bargain that Anthony would be able to find any information on S.H.I.E.L.D.’s computers?”

He looked down at Anthony and pitched his voice to a purred threat- _no point in bringing him out of it to get the answers_ \- “Stark, have you been breaking into your allies’ computers? Should I be upset, or pleased with you, I wonder?”

Anthony shivered in his arms; Loki smiled down at him in a clearly promised threat. _Pleased or angry, my pet?_

“This is knives or gravy again, isn’t it?” Anthony’s eyes were that delightful mix of terror and lust again.

“Yes, yes it is.” Loki could see confusion on Romanoff’s and Fury’s faces, but Barton was beginning to look amused and intrigued. _We shall have to have a talk, my Hawk_.

Anthony’s voice was softer than usual, but still fairly clear: “Any kill order on me… could only come from Fury directly… or the WSC, so I’ve been… mmmm… monitoring their private servers”- Anthony moved his head back, baring his throat-“for anything that doesn’t turn up in the regular S.H.I.E.L.D. computers.”

Fury swore quietly.

Romanoff looked impressed. “That’s sensible,” she nodded.

“Less than two weekends and you have him that…“ Barton looked over at Romanoff, “Apparently the background department AND the psych department are long overdue for a cleaning-not that I had a better impression of the psych department.” He shook his head again, “Mind you, we missed it, too.”

_And suddenly his confidence is back, and the Spider sees it, too._

Fury growled, “And how DID everyone miss this?”

Loki laughed. “He had apparently been going without his preferred outlet to please Ms. Potts. Anthony has stated that he has been getting his ‘methadone’ from the suit, and the Avengers conflicts.” He petted down Anthony’s back. “Isn’t that right kjánalegt maður?”

“That, and his usual party pickups and flirtations aren’t into BDSM,” Romanoff said flatly.

“Oh, certainly not!” Loki blinked at her, “He has the clear understanding that this would be disapproved of, as he has said, so he chooses his most discrete options for that. Even so, he has had those who tried to reveal information, or required money for their silence.”

Barton looked sympathetic, “Well, he isn’t wrong about the disapproved of.” He looked back and forth between Loki and Anthony; eventually, he said, “Given his addictive behavior, and the fact that he apparently has been avoiding his usual outlet, he’s going to be prone to some serious drops.”

“Explain,” Said Fury, who was looking unsettled; Loki smiled.

“Not everyone actually gets drops- that’s what I always heard them called- subs and doms sometimes get a bad depressive bout after… I dunno, like they spent too much energy in the kink? It can happen after an intense scene. That, and coming out of subspace can be a bitch. That’s why there’s aftercare.” -he pointedly looked anywhere but at the two of them- “Taking care of someone coming out of subspace, so it’s gentle and they don’t crash and burn, or end up in panic attacks, or something.”

“Ah, yes, both Anthony and I are all too familiar with that.”

“With what?” Fury asked.

“Panic attacks.” Loki sighed, “I see no point in pretending, since Agent Romanoff and Dr. Banner are well aware of this. Anthony and I have a great deal in common, including what Ms…. what an associate calls PTSD. It is alleviated somewhat by the bond, since we can support each other… and if you so much as breathe a word of that to anyone else, I will strangle you with your own entrails.”

“Noted,” said Fury

Barton coughed and continued: “Anyway, until he comes out of subspace he’s going to need someone to look after him”-Barton glared at Loki- “and it can’t be JUST you, because YOU are going to go get those two days of rest and food and whatever you need, not stay up longer looking after Tony.”

“Are you suggesting yourself?”

“No… maybe... I don’t know,” he frowned. “It would have to be someone who has the time, and who he trusts, and who isn’t going to say even one negative word about his kink… because coming out of subspace, you’re vulnerable as hell.”

Anthony abruptly began singing, badly: “I want you… I need you…”

“Anthony, hush.”

He continued singing, more quietly, into Loki’s chest.

Then the elevator opened: Banner was there with a number of bags, and Thor was helping Rogers to walk into the room. Captain Rogers was protesting that he was ‘fine’, but he looked anything but.

“Anthony, I am going to put you down on the sofa,” Loki said far more calmly than he felt. _If there has been an attack, I am not nearly recovered enough._

Anthony murmured “Gravy?” and tried to sit up. He ended up sort of sprawled on the sofa, amusingly in the same spot Barton had been.

Fury snapped out, “Rogers? Report!”

“It was nothing, sir, just… talking about Hydra. I got a bit tense and needed to hit something. I may have damaged the building.”

Romanoff looked curiously at him, “Which building?”

“This one. Outside.” Rogers sounded guilt stricken.

“Well, at least no one will sue,” Romanoff said pleasantly, then started unpacking the food.

Barton looked over at Banner, “Bruce? You have any clues about taking care of someone coming up out of subspace?”

“Uh, no?”

“Well, you get to learn, because Loki has to eat and then go get rest, and we need Tony working on the computers and tech here as soon as he is up and around, which means he needs someone to bring him out of it and be a support for the rest of the day. It can’t be Pepper if she’s so opposed to his kink. It can’t be me, because it would be a major conflict of interest; I’m going to be busy; and besides, he trusts you more.”

Fury looked perplexed, “Agent Barton?” _Ah, he also sees the change. Is this the Agent you remember from before, I wonder?_

Barton ignored him. “Nat?”

She grinned at him, sharp and predatory. “Clint.”

“Get Cap to eat, and help him deal. I’ll go over defenses and begin investigations with Jarvis.”

Loki suddenly felt the world turn oddly as he remembered exactly what Barton had said previously. _And now that that he is no longer uncertain, Romanoff will follow him._

“Agent Barton!” Fury snapped out. “Who put you in charge of this? We haven’t even started-“

Barton cut him off: “You did, when you lied about Coulson even after he was safe; even after I was cleared from psych. Stark said he wanted us, Loki and he both need someone to watch their six and make them eat and sleep, and none of us are safe until we know the people in our own organization won’t be gunning for us.”

Loki caught Anthony’s eyes and they both smiled. Anthony let himself fall back into the cushions.

Rogers said, “Coulson?” his voice a bit harsher than usual.

Thor was looking at Loki and beginning to go pale. _Good, the fool still had some wit. This was something he should recall: the court intrigue;, the treachery and spying- all my strengths; all my games._

Romanoff had wet a napkin in ice water and pressed it to Rogers’ wrist and hand. “Coulson survived Loki’s attack. Fury let us believe he was dead for his own reasons. Stark knew, and thought we had been told.”

Banner, Thor, and Rogers all looked at Fury with various expressions of shock.

Fury said, “I knew we had some internal problems. Coulson is one of the few people I can trust to have my back. He almost died; it was safer that everyone think he was dead.”

Anthony’s grin was softened by his current state, but should have been warning enough to anyone with wit. “Yeah, but I thought you would have told the assassin twins.”

“Two men can keep a secret if one of them is dead, Stark. I may not be able to play it that close, but I kept it on a strictly need-to-know basis.”

Barton-no, his Hawk- had walked over to the food and dished out a plate for Anthony and one for Loki.

Fury tried once more to regain control, “First we should-“

“No.” Barton said flatly. “First, you contact your people you are sure of, including Coulson, because Nat and I want to hear him; then you do what you have to do to get as many of them as you can back here in two days so they can get magicked.”

“I reiterate, Barton, you are not in charge here,” Fury snapped.

Anthony laughed, although it did come out as a bit of a giggle, “Yes he is. He works for us, and we need to be off duty, so as our second in command… yeah Nick, he’s in charge. Code that Jarvis.”

“Of course, sir. Temporarily re-coded. I shall revise the codes properly when you are not so indisposed.”

Loki let himself smile fully for the first time in this conversation. “Consider yourself lucky, Director, that I am myself again. Unlike my prior meeting with you, my mind is not clouded; I do not need to like you to understand your usefulness. I am still willing to work with you- as is Anthony, no matter how much he mistrusts you- but you are not in charge here.”

Rogers looked back and forth, “Maybe I’m a bit lost, but when did you two decide to work for Loki and Tony over Fury?”

Hawk nodded at him, “As I said while you were out, one of the things that I could never get past was the fact that Loki killed Agent Phil Coulson. He was more than our handler: he gave me a chance when everyone else gave up on me; and when I wanted to bring Natasha in instead of shooting her, he backed me up. Since the Battle of New York, I’ve dealt with psychs digging into me, my own teammates acting like it was my idea to work for Loki, no one trusting me except Nat… and Tony.”

Banner nodded, “Tony is one of the only people who trusts me.”

Hawk nodded, “Well, guess what? The one guy who could have made my life anything but a living hell for the past months was alive. The one reason I had to ignore the fact that Loki looked like hell warmed over every single time we fought, was a lie.” Hawk shrugged, “S.H.I.E.L.D. is apparently full of Hydra, and I don’t know who I can trust over there. I know who I can trust in this room, so until I actually get to talk to Coulson?” Barton smiled over at Loki and Anthony, “Looks like someone needs to handle things so that the two most dangerous guys on the planet can fuck up the bad guys.”

“Glad to have you on board, Clint,” Anthony smiled.

“Welcome back, my Hawk, under far better circumstances.” Loki smiled, “And welcome to our army, little Spider.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tony sings a few lines from "Two out of Three aint bad" by Meatloaf. its a direct reference to the three traits Clint suggests in someone to take care of Tony.  
> "Knives or Gravy" refers to the time when Loki offered Tony the choice of knife play or food play.
> 
> as to the title, and Clint's mindset: My husband came up with the title. you see, the main thing that Clint was ... hanging on to... to keep up as a shield (bad pun) or safeword... to keep all the kinder feelings, and the knowledge that Loki HAD BEEN tortured at bay... the same feelings that led hi to bring Natasha in? those? yeah the one thing he had to keep him safe from that sentiment was "he killed Phil"
> 
> oh, and once clint regained his center, and went back to the "i know what i'm doing and fck yes i'm CERTAIN" natasha, who owes him everything, followed his lead.


	87. Plans -Loki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which the plans to deal with Hydra infiltrating S.H.I.E.L.D. get started as much as they can be for right now.  
> PLEASE read the notes

 

Loki looked thoughtfully at his Hawk, then turned to Anthony: “Snjall elskan mín, how badly wounded is this Phil?”

“No, you are not risking yourself for him, he threatened to taze me!”

Loki smiled, “If I have time to prepare, and he is not moments from death, elskan mín, it need not risk me.”

It was Fury, unexpectedly, who broke in to ask, “You could heal him?”

“Possibly. My magics are reduced appallingly, and much of it must be spent to maintain my wards, but… under circumstances where there is TIME, Director, I can do a great deal with blood and rune magic.”

“Phil’s a complete bastard,” sighed Anthony, “but I suppose he has some redeeming features.”

His Hawk nodded, “He is a complete bastard, but he’s OUR complete bastard. He’s also the most loyal man I ever met.” He looked at Loki with his impossible gaze- which missed nothing- “Can you heal him?”

“Will it ease your heart, my Hawk?”

The archer nodded.

“Then if it is in my power, without risk to myself or Anthony, I will do it.” Loki nodded and went back to making sure Anthony ate enough.

Fury growled, “By bonding him to you like Stark?”

“Norns, no!” Loki spluttered.

Thor was coughing and turning red in the face, “You cannot be suggesting that!”

“I don’t think that means what you think it does, Fury. It’s sort of like ‘inconceivable’,” Anthony laughed, settling back on the sofa.

Loki sighed and looked around the table, “NO ONE else is getting bonded like Anthony. If I were to consider such a thing, it would be after a great deal of time and consideration- IF. I only did this with Anthony because he had become… unexpectedly dear to me… and I had no time: he was dying; he had moments only, perhaps. If there had been more time there were dozens of other healing spells I could have used.”

He looked at Fury, “IF I can heal this man- and I do not know how much good I can do for him- then I would indeed mark him with runes, but they would heal him slowly, over days or weeks, and give him no connection to my mind.”

“You’d have no command or control over him?” Fury looked thoughtful.

“I didn’t say that,” Loki said calmly. “First of all, I would insist he be bound to the agreement before I did any healing. After that? Likely I would have some small control over his body- I could force him to sleep, for example, if I chose.”

His Hawk looked unhappy, “Could that be broken?”

“After the healing is finished? Yes. To break it before then would –of course­- stop the healing magics.”

“Brother,” said Thor, “you… you have been speaking as though your magic is weak indeed. I know you capable of far more than-“

“I TOLD you: I was grievously wounded by the Chitauri and their master. It suited them to have me dependent on the scepter for much of my power, as it also kept me under their control. The cell in Asgard was designed to limit my abilities, and thus I never healed properly,”-he forced his hand to unclench- “as was likely Odin’s intent. In any case, I reinjured myself and nearly died escaping. At this point well more than half my power is taken up by maintaining my wards, which hide me from both the Chitauri’s masters and from Heimdall.”

Rogers cleared his throat, “I have a lot of public appearances to make- I think we all do. It’s important that we don’t act out of character. Just… everyone takes extra precautions against assassination, and now we have to be concerned about our own side, too.”

Dr. Banner nodded, “I’ll stay in the labs; I can help with the research, and no one expects me to go out much.”

Fury looked grudgingly at Spider and Hawk, “We’ll need to see if anyone is accident prone.”

The little Spider smiled happily, “It has been boring lately.”

His Hawk grinned back at her, “Yeah, it has been.”

Jarvis commented in a casual tone, “For the record, Agent Barton, Mr. Stark is an expert on cars. I am therefore able to integrate and control most automotive computers if I am capable of accessing them.”

Loki didn’t understand immediately what this meant or why it was important, but the spies suddenly seemed most pleased and intent.

Fury glanced at the ceiling, “Really? I always worried about Stark. Figured he’d have plans to take over the world somehow.”

Jarvis chuckled, “Mr. Stark has no interest in   taking over the world, Director Fury. He says he already has too much paperwork and too many meetings, and Ms. Potts has categorically refused to consent to run it for him. He does, however, have a number of contingencies in place to safeguard his life, and the lives of people he cares about. Agent Barton has been named as an acting second; I am merely alerting him as to some possibilities. Motor vehicle mishaps are a leading cause of accidental death, after all.”

Loki drew in his breath sharply. _Oh, you beautiful, clever, evil genius_. Loki leaned over the sofa and kissed Anthony. Anthony melted back into the sofa and made encouraging noises.

“I would truly wish to, but I must return to my sanctum and rest.” Loki turned to the others, “Shall we meet back here then on Thursday?” He snorted and glanced at Thor, “I have some minor business on Wednesday, if I am recovered enough for that.”

Little Spider smiled, “If I am not busy I may meet you there.” Her statement caused a number of the others to look curious.

Loki nodded, “And Director Fury? We need not have your entire potential loyalists meet here at once; I can add people to the bindings over time. In addition, we could arrange to meet some of them at other locations, so long as they are secure: the house in Malibu is one option, I understand. In the meantime, shall we exchange phone numbers and email? Pedestrian as it may be it is still the simplest solution.”

There was a brief flurry as various contact information was exchanged, the most critical being Jarvis’ direct lines. Loki had a pleasant feeling about being more technologically savvy than either Thor or the Captain.

Hawk nodded at him as Loki went to leave, “I’ll see if Pepper can put out a rumor about Tony being ill. It will give him an excuse to stay home, and keep up the cover in case any of the doctors do leak anything.”

Loki nodded. “I leave such things to you and Jarvis, and Anthony once he is rested. Until Thursday- or Wednesday evening, if you choose.” As he entered the elevator, he noted that the light for the lobby had lit without a touch.

“The rear of the elevator will open, Mr. Laufeyson, and I shall show you a less visible way out.” Jarvis said politely.

Anthony sat up suddenly looking entirely too coherent. “Oh, hey, I figured out how to get the scepter away from them without most of us touching it, and no one they know being involved so they can’t figure out it’s us… but I can’t contact them until a BDSM party this weekend, ok?” Then he slumped back down and went to sleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok, apparently i was not clear, based on a comment or two.... this is a psychologically driven work. while its got a fair amount of explicit, and a lot of humor (and knitting) it is not just fluff and porn.  
> its a serious question about how someone's kinks are perceived by society (earth or asgard) how their kinks or perceived kinks and etc effect how they are treated. *and what happens when two very broken people get together*. I tried to make that clear. 
> 
> its also about how people underestimate Tony. because seriously Tony should have been involved in so many of the other movies... AND i am getting rid of any possibility of Age of Ultron EVER coming to pass (or the Vision being what he is) because the scepter will NOT BE where it was in the canon continuum. 
> 
> THIS story ends soon-ish... with the functional beginning of the events of the winter soldier and iron man 3. then i go to the sequel. we diverged from canon as soon as Loki escaped the cells of Asgard, guys. remember that. In addition, since i am not bound by the "which movie studio owns what" YES i am in the same universe with mutants and the Xmen, *BUT* i am not going by either the movie canon for that, OR strictly the comic canon for that. In comic book canon the X,en and new mutants dealt with Asgard, and the people of Asgard there are NOT the same as the MCU, so i am creating my own AU for all the Xmen and etc side of this ( and because the comics are messed up, seriously, i used to follow Xmen religiously).


	88. to the rescue- Loki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Its knit night again, and Loki is telling stories....

 

Loki cursed Anthony for a brilliant madman most of the way back to Eric’s apartment. _What party this weekend? It wasn’t the one Ms. Vivienne had invited me to. He spoke of meeting someone there, who could help retrieve the scepter, but who? If Anthony was seeing any other attractive would-be world conquerors I would certainly know it… also they would have to die, slowly_. He ordered in food that should keep well for several days, waited for it, and put it away. Then he carefully arranged himself and deliberately fell into a deep healing trance.

When he woke up it was early afternoon on Wednesday.

He ate the food, not even tasting it until it was almost gone. He glanced at his messages. The majority were useless trivia and attempts to sell him things, but there were several messages from various would-be allies: some offering information; some bargains; and one requesting aid- that one looked intriguing. There were several messages from Anthony, of course, including one that was… inspirational… in tone.   Trust a poet to be able to inspire lust by a few short words. There was also a note from the little Spider:

‘I will attend, possibly with company.’

Loki looked at his watch and considered mischief. He sent a brief email to Anthony inquiring of his current health and well-being; he received an answer involving a detailed state of the lack of sex, abundance of healthy food, and rigorously enforced sleep schedules he had been subjected to by ‘that traitorous bastard Clint, who used to be my buddy’. Secure in the knowledge that Anthony was being well-cared for, Loki vanished in a sparkle of green lights.

\---

When ‘Eric’/Loki arrived-late- at knit night he had a cast on his left arm, was walking with evident stiffness, and was immediately absconded with by the K.N.I.T. security forces and Sarah-who was evidently back in town. Sarah was fussing at him and trying to feed him tea; they were demanding a full report of his injuries, so… Eric obliged them:

“… then the forces of F.R.O.G. sent one of their trained assassins after me, but I managed to hold them off with the double-points, until one of the accursed Moth Legions got behind me…”

“Hey! We have matching casts!” The roller derby player- _what was her name? Oh yes, Misti_ -waved her broken arm at him.

“Misti!   How awful, what happened?”

“You have to hear this one, Misti! Eric is telling us all about the epic battle he was in, it’s great!”

“Epic battle?” Misti asked in confusion.

“Epic battle?” a soft voice- _hello, little Spider_ \- asked.

He would scarcely have recognized Agent Romanoff. She was dressed in an ankle length skirt over boots, a long tunic with a high neck, and had her hair hidden under ornately wrapped scarves, all in shades of blue and brown. Given what she hid in a skin tight black bodysuit, he wondered how much weaponry she was carrying under that. She had come in with Carol.

“Well, truthfully I had a very boring incident with a group of ruffians bothering a young couple. I managed to frighten them off but not without injury, and when I fell I made it worse.” He smiled sheepishly.

Sarah brought over a platter of cookies. “Eric was telling us this absolutely wonderful, insane, creative story about his epic battles on behalf of K.N.I.T. against the forces of F.R.O.G.” Sarah smiled happily and carefully arranged Loki’s tea and cookies. “PLEASE keep going, please?”

“Certainly! So there I was, having held off the F.R.O.G. assassination squad and left them full of double points in my wake, but I had neglected to guard my yarn stash, and one of the Moth Legions had infiltrated.” Eric leaned forward, “I nearly surrendered at that point.”

“NO!” Gasped several of his audience.

“Indeed,” he said solemnly. “So there I was, facing what must surely be the end, when I recalled that my instructor“-he nodded at Sarah-“had always insisted that plastic zip sealed bags be part of my standard equipment. Now, some of my stash had been horribly compromised, but it might be possible to save… “

Eric glanced at the new arrivals: Romanoff looked like she was going to choke on her drink, but she looked amused; Carol was actually snickering; Misti looked enthralled.

Eric continued: “… so having sacrificed the double points, and quarantined my stash, I made my way past the guards and deeper into the fortress. There I encountered two of our allies, a pair of yarn dealers, being prepared for some vile experiments, possibly involving scratchy acrylic yarn and solvents.” He feigned horror.

Romanoff- eyes glittering with amusement- asked breathlessly, “What did you do?”

“I was certain that I could escape myself, of course, but I could scarcely leave an ally in the enemy’s vile clutches, so I resolved to turn their own evil against them. Please don’t think too harshly of me,“ he looked grim and tried not to snicker too loudly, “I opened the containment bags and unleashed the captive Moth Legion agents on them.”

Several of the audience cheered. Romanoff actually grinned all the way up to crinkles at the corner of her eyes; even Carol laughed.

“I’m certain they deserved it, Eric,” laughed Sarah.

“Live by the Moth, die by the Moth,” intoned Joanie, a well-dressed business woman working on a pair of the most lurid and sparkly socks imaginable.

“After that,“ said Eric, “it was mostly the difficulty of escaping with the prisoners. You see they had already been injured and were unable to fend for themselves, so I had to get them out of the fortress and to the top secret K.N.I.T. safe house to recover…”

\---

Eric made his apologies on the early side of things to leave. He managed to fend off Sarah’s insistence on accompanying him home by letting her call him a cab.

Romanoff, on her way to the bar, asked quietly as he waited, “You’re walking stiffly- are you actually injured?”

“Yes, but not severely, little Spider. The cast is to excuse my lack of knitting done this week.”

She glared promises of further interrogation at him, so ‘Eric’ made a point of chatting happily with the others until his cab arrived. .

\---

‘Eric’ walked into his sanctum and dropped the disguise. Loki’s arm was perfectly fine, of course, but he would sooner face Fandral in a sword fight before appearing at knit night without a project… or a good excuse. His ribs ached from the explosions; however, for all that they were no longer broken.

He checked his email before going back to bed, and more healing; sure enough there was a blistering reply to his pre-knit-night message and delivery:

_L- Who the fuck are these two geeky _kids_ and why do you want me to keep them in my infirmary until tomorrow? I expect a really good answer and you’re going collar shopping with me after the meeting. - T_

 

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sooner face Fandral in a sword fight... snicker.  
> oh, incidentally Natasha is wearing a tichel (Jewish) style hair wrap. go look up "wrapunzel" on the internet (or you tube) for an idea of what i mean. In that style of clothing with her hair wrapped she blends in pretty well in New York City, AND since her hair is one of her more identifiable features to the public, she is almost unrecognizable. Plus the actress who plays her in the movies is from a NY Jewish background.


	89. but I told you already - Loki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki's POV

When Loki arrived at the tower on Thursday, Jarvis greeting him with a warning: “Mr. Laufeyson, the Avengers are unhappy with Mr. Stark keeping prisoners in the infirmary. They have been awaiting your arrival-“

“Brother! What have you done?” Thor bellowed- at least looking more confused than accusatory for once- as soon as he saw him. “There are prisoners of yours here? From what battle? Why have we not been told?” _Seriously, did Thor even have an ‘inside voice’ when asking questions?_

Loki looked around the penthouse: Thor was, of course, standing in the middle of the room being Thor at him; a suspicious looking Captain Rogers was standing not far away, which accounted for both of the too terribly sincere blondes, at least. The elevator doors opened to reveal a rumpled, but well rested looking, Anthony, as well as Agent Romanoff.

“Hello again, little Spider,” Loki nodded at her –she looked unhappy. He turned to Anthony and smiled, “Halló, snjall elskan mín. Ég vil að ríða þér yfir þessum sófa, en bróðir minn er auðvelt vandræðalegur.”

Thor turned deep red and spluttered, “LOKI!!!!!!”

“As I said…” Loki smirked.

“Ok, Maleficent,” his Anthony grinned and walked over to him, “What did you say?”

Loki pulled Anthony into an embrace by his hair and kissed him. He watched the others out of the corner of his eye, and was rewarded by seeing Rogers flush and wring his hands, and Thor actually flee for the elevator. He had time to notice Romanoff looking evilly amused before his Anthony took his attention fully. _Say what you will about my darling, the man could KISS._

Anthony finally broke the kiss off for lack of air. “Uh… so… what did you say that set Thor off so badly?” He looked around, waved at Rogers-who covered his face-and continued, “He seems to be gone, now.”

“He fled to the elevator during our kiss, and what I SAID was ‘Hello, my clever darling, I want to fuck you over the sofa, but my brother is easily embarrassed.’ How convenient that he seems to have left,” Loki grinned.

“Not here!” protested Rogers, who had turned a truly spectacular shade of red. “Besides, we have people waiting in the conference room, other people arriving on the helipad soon and… and... can you guys just PRETEND you have some decency? Please?”

“Decency?” Anthony put on a confused frown, “De-cen-cy… hmmm… I’ve heard of that. Someone mentioned it when I-“

Natasha cut him off- unfortunately- “There are two prisoners being kept in the infirmary, and all Bruce will say is that they were only slightly injured physically- he emphasized the physically, which implied a lot- and that they seemed to be healing quickly. Video also shows that the man has some very runic looking marks on him.” She frowned at Loki.

“They are not exactly prisoners, little Spider: they were rescued. They simply cannot be allowed to leave and tell anyone unfortunate about who rescued them, now can they?” Loki smiled. “That would jeopardize things. So they are… detained.”

Romanoff nodded, still looking suspicious. Rogers, however, looked very relieved. “Oh.”

Anthony looked thoughtful, “OK that explains the cryptic email. I figured you’d saved them from something, but I wasn’t sure what. Can you explain the runes though, because it’s not the one I have.” He frowned, “If you wrote your name on him…”

Loki pulled his Anthony in close- his jealousy was endearing, if ridiculous-“No, Ástin mín, I took advantage of the opportunity to test some of the healing runes before Agent Coulson arrived.”

Romanoff suddenly looked less unhappy. “Is that what they are? Healing runes?”

“Indeed. The young man was grievously injured; I am not sure he would have fully recovered without magics. However, it was he who managed to send out a distress call, of a sort. They had stumbled over some manner of Hydra’s business and were being…”- he paused thoughtfully- “experimented on, I suppose? It may have been simple questioning, however. I retrieved them, and eliminated the base and the records; hence my sore ribs of the other evening.” He smiled down at her.

Anthony looked alarmed and gripped his wrist, apparently taking some comfort from his currently healed state.

“Do you know what group they belong to?” Rogers asked.

“S.H.I.E.L.D., I think, which makes them two more we can be certain are not Hydra. In any event, they owe me their lives, and I WILL force their repayment if they cannot be persuaded.”

“I’ll tell Fury when he arrives.” Rogers looked grim and left for the elevator. “He should be here soon, with Coulson.”

“You’re still going collar shopping with me after this,” grinned Anthony.

“You do understand it’s a collar for YOU, Elskan mín hækkaði?” Loki pulled Anthony’s head back by his hair and petted his throat. Anthony moaned.

Romanoff cleared her throat, “Why didn’t you say anything about the… detainees… last night?”

“Whatever do you mean, little Spider?” Loki smirked. “I told the whole story at Knit night: simply substitute Hydra for F.R.O.G.; real weapons for knitting needles; and the infirmary for secret K.N.I.T. medical facilities, and it’s generally accurate.”

Anthony just stared at them both. “Hydra frogs? Knitting needles?   Ok, you two are hoarding the GOOD drugs, aren’t you?”

Loki took great pleasure from watching the look of dawning comprehension on Romanoff’s face.

“You… utter… bastard,” She said, with no little admiration.

Anthony looked back and forth, “Ok, fess up, what? Come on, tell me!”

“Moth Legions? Plastic zip locks?” Romanoff asked. “What are those?”

“Some kind of enhanced dogs and containment spells, respectively.” Loki felt smug at having told the entire tale in front of her without being caught.

“You cannot just drop these kinds of hints and not tell me,” Anthony whined. “I'm volatile, self-obsessed, and don't play well with others… or, to put it in your terms, I have no patience and no discipline… or, to put it in MY terms, it’s my house and I’m heavily armed!”

Loki just smirked, “You shall have to get the story from Agent Romanoff. I’m quite certain she had a recording device. In any event, shall we go deal with our bargains?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> apparently i can now drop my husband in fits of giggles just by saying "hydra frogs?"


	90. Conviction - Loki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil is back  
> WARNING, the following chapter (and the next one) are fairly intense. I doubt anything is too graphic, though.

Anthony was still whining when they got down to the conference room. Loki saw Dr. Banner, Thor had arrived ahead of them, which, as he, Anthony, and agent Romanoff arrived left his Hawk, Rogers, Ms. Potts, and Fury of the group that had last met.

“Well met.” Loki nodded and then turned to Dr. Banner, “Since I understand you are dealing with them, how are our two detainees?”

“Remarkably well, all things considered.” Dr. Banner was looking appraisingly at him, “The young lady could be discharged at any time, and the young man pretty soon. Tony and I were talking to them earlier.”

Anthony nodded. “They seem torn between hero worship of the two of us, and concern that it’s all some kind of trick to get them to talk.”

Loki shrugged, “That cannot be surprising. Hopefully Director Fury will be able to sort thigs out.”

At this point the door opened and Ms. Potts and his Hawk arrived, head down together over a StarkPad. They were followed by someone that Loki did not recognize, with a cart full of food.

“Happy!” Anthony called out, “Come on in, I need you involved here.”

It took several blinks for Loki to realize that Anthony was calling the man ‘happy’ as a name, not broadcasting his emotional state for some reason.

“Babe, this is Happy Hogan. Happy is my driver, bodyguard, aide, and whatever other title you can put on it.”

“You know, I think I prefer almost any of your other names for me to that one,“ Loki grumbled, and then nodded to the man, “A pleasure. How would you prefer to be called?”

“He’s called ‘Happy’,” Anthony said frowning at him.

“Yes, and you say I am called all manner of things that I do not wish to be called by anyone else, and a few things I do not wish to be called at all. This is why I asked HIM what he wished to be called, and not YOU.”

Anthony opened his mouth and glanced around the room; he closed it again and nodded. “I… guess that’s fair.”

The man Anthony called Happy laughed, “Ok, I didn’t believe it before, but maybe I do now. I guess you’re going to be around for a bit, I never saw anyone but Pepper manage that. Please, call me Happy in casual circumstances. It’s only Mr. Hogan when it’s more formal.”

Loki nodded. He looked up with a smile as his Hawk returned to his side. _Norns, how I had missed him._ “Getting along well with Ms. Potts, I see.”

The rest of the room was descending on the food.

“Yes, sir. She’s pretty much the aide that runs the army around here. I only had to keep after you; she has to keep after Tony and the rest of the Avengers,”-he looked thoughtful-“it’s impressive. Pity she apparently has such a negative view of Tony’s outlets.”

“While a pity for Anthony, I am quite pleased for myself. I would not wish to battle her for Elskan mín hækkaði .”

“What does that mean?” Clint looked at ease, but Loki could see the tension coiled in his posture. He didn’t really care what Loki called Anthony, he was waiting for this Phil.

“Elskan mín hækkaði means, more or less, ‘my darling rose’.”   Loki watched his Hawk get a devilish gleam in his eyes that he had only seen flickers of behind the blue haze of the scepter.

“No shit? Ok… how does he end up with THAT nickname?” He looked like he might fall over laughing. “I NEED to know this, because prime blackmail material like this doesn’t come along very often…”

The door opened and Rogers entered. “Director.” he said, and Loki realized from the reaction that that wasn’t an address into the room as Fury strode in, long coat billowing behind him. _He really did have something of Odin about him._ He was followed by a man who looked thinner than he should, paler than he should, that had piercing eyes… _’You lack conviction’. Indeed._

“Phil!” and suddenly his Hawk was not the shield brother, or the aide- he was looking at someone who was closer than that. Loki didn’t know if the man was his Hawk’s lover, his brother, or his father, but he could see any of those being true. That man was the glove his falcon settled to; now to be certain no one else held the glove.

“Hey.” Anthony grabbed his arm and Loki jumped.

“I didn’t see you approach.” Loki could see that no one was getting close to their Phil without going through both the Spider and the Hawk, so he turned back to Anthony, “I know you are concerned for me, Elskan mín, but-“

“You think my reactor is like the tesseract, don’t you?” Anthony’s penchant for changing the subject was dizzying.

“… Yes, but I don’t-“ Loki began, and was cut off by Anthony pressing a glowing tube of power into his hand.

“I can’t use this one anyway- palladium core.” Anthony grinned up at him. “Think that might be useful to draw off of so you don’t fall down? Seeing as how you’re gonna heal the bastard up anyway.”

 _Every once in a while I underestimate this man._ “You are a genius, and you are far, far kinder than I, hækkaði min.”

Loki wrapped his hands around this strange thing, while the others were reunited with this man Loki had nearly slain. He could feel Fury watching him as he reached out and drew the power of this almost-but-not-quite tesseract to him. It resisted, twisting oddly against his magics.

“I do not think it LIKES me, Anthony.” _So sad, it would have made everything so much simpler._

“It’s not alive, Bambi, it doesn’t have likes or dislikes.” Anthony reached out and touched it, because of course it was a device, and it must bow to his will-

“That’s IT!”

Some few of the others turned to look at him. Phil was sitting in a wheelchair, looking like a desk should shortly appear before him.

Loki was grinning, “Anthony, it resists me, but it will not resist YOU: you made it.” _Makers’ magic, of course._ _As the smith always had a power over the sword he made_. Loki barely bit back a snicker. _Or as a forge that made the ring had the power to destroy it. Truths hidden in bards’ tales, of course._

“It’s not magic,” He shook his head, “It’s just-“

“A very advanced science, I know. I think you have synthesized something close enough. In any event what I do is magic. Magic, as I have tried to explain, is both an art and a science, it has RULES, my darling scientist; that you cannot comprehend the rules right now doesn’t mean they do not exist. Place your hand over mine on the device and let me use you as a key.”

Anthony looked baffled, but placed his hands over Loki’s around the reactor. Something… shifted. Blue-white energy raced across Loki before it changed and turned green.

Loki felt power sing through him as he hadn’t felt since before the fall from the bifrost. He felt wounds that had been left unhealed for too long break apart and re-knit. He had been so very weak, when he came to Midgard from his tortures under the Chitauri: scarcely able to accomplish much beyond illusions; dependent on the scepter; broken; pitiful. Odin had placed him under wards that inhibited his power-kept him from healing, kept him weak- and still he escaped, at the cost of a few more pieces of his magic, of his soul. Finding Anthony, being bound to him, had already done so much to heal the wounds-he was already so improved- and now the power Anthony had created completed it. This power was untainted, unscarred by torture.

He had fallen to one knee, Anthony standing stunned next to him, and as the energy storm abated Loki saw his Anthony: a smith, a maker, who held what was nearly an infinity stone of his own making in his heart, and Loki’s heart. He was, himself, cracked and crazed, and shot through with weakness, but what smith could repair himself? Wasn’t that the problem he had? What mage’s magic could heal his own wounded magic? Loki could see the jest the Norns played, for a beat of time. His healing had been begun by his Anthony’s heart, and concluded by the star he held in it. He would have to heal his Anthony in turn.

The dead and empty star casing fell from his hands and he stood up.

“Uh… that was BRIGHT.” Anthony stammered a bit, “Luckily I had my sunglasses. Everyone ok?”

“What the HELL was that?” _Fury, of course._

“Unexpected,” smirked Loki. “However…” He walked over to the man in the wheelchair. “Calm yourself little Spider, my Hawk; we had an agreement, did we not?”

Fury was very still. “Let me make this clear: ‘Real Power’ or not, Coulson-“

Loki waved him off. “Indeed, Director, your words are a familiar refrain; fortunately for you, I am not listening, if I were I would, destroy you and anyone you cared about for threatening me. I will not be threatened again… “

Phil Coulson looked up at him calmly, “Finishing what you started?”

It was perhaps unwise to do this as he did. He should have bound the man first, he should have taken his time, he should have… but he was Loki, the God of things uncontrolled and uncontrollable again.

“Indeed, I am.” He traced the path of the wound with his magic, saw the scars of the surgeons, saw the ties between him and everyone in this room, for good or for ill. Loki put up a momentary wall of green, blocking the two of them from everyone’s sight.

“What?” Phil startled as the room contracted to a green bubble around them.

Loki pulled the man up out of the chair with one hand. “They would interfere,” Loki shrugged, and cut deep into his heart and lungs with his blade making multiple slashes in the time it would take to draw a breath.

The light in Phil’s eyes had just begun to dim when power arced in the runes cut into him through all the scars.

Agent Phil Coulson stood blinking- whole, healed, and covered in blood.

“I no longer lack conviction.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDITED: my apologies i uploaded an uncorrected chapter. it's fixed now.  
> How can you use magic to repair yourself, if your magic is tainted by your injuries? also when you are running on fumes... as anyone with chronic illness can tell you (waves) you just don't recover from exertion well. (which is why Loki spends days passed out when he over exerts.  
> and for those who do not know the CANON back story:  
> Howard Stark studied the tesseract. he invented the ARC reactor based at least in part on his studies of it. the ARC reactor is, in fact, a result of studying the tesseract.  
> This is why Fury was trying to approach Tony Stark, as the only person who could make those Hydra weapons work again, help them develop more... and then the $%^&* announced a "no more weapons" policy... so he turned to Selvig.


	91. your friends and mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony's POV.

When Loki stood up, dropping the discharged ARC reactor, Tony had felt the difference through their link. Loki was… better… in some way.   Loki had been very clear that he was magically crippled, or at least still wounded; Tony suspected that was in the past tense now. For damn sure he was flying, the kind of flying that Tony knew intimately when everything just WORKED.

So when Loki put up a green barrier that cut off the view and shoved everyone back, Tony just laughed and said, “It’s OK everyone, seriously. It’s like any other delicate work: if you jump in and start interfering, you could damage someone.”

Natasha didn’t actually growl; Clint just looked worried; but Fury? Fury looked really tense.

Thor was frowning at him, “Man of Iron-“

“Iron Man, or Tony… yeah?”

“What happened here?” Thor said, picking up the spent ARC reactor.

“Good question,” Bruce said quietly, trying to stay calm.

“My dad invented the ARC reactor after studying the tesseract.” Tony shrugged, “Loki said he thought my ARC reactor had managed to synthesize something like it, kind of like magic- sort of. Remember he said he wasn’t –“

The green field dropped. There was blood everywhere, lots of it. Pepper shrieked. Half the room lunged forward at Loki before the other person standing there spoke up.

“So, the one eternal in this whole situation is that there will always be paperwork.” Agent Coulson sounded just like his old self- and looked a lot like his old self, albeit covered in blood with a shredded suit. “I take it I have to sign something?”

Just like that, Loki might as well have vanished. Pepper was screaming “Phil! You’re ok!”; the assassin twins were swearing in some language-languages, not the same one; and everyone over there was trying to suffocate the man with hugs.

“Hey guys?” Tony scowled, “Wanna go wash up, and let the robots clean up all that blood before we get on with this?”

Tony grabbed Loki and pulled him into a chair. “Clint the super babysitter is busy, so it’s up to me.” Tony looked at the feral grin on Loki’s face and felt like having sex RIGHT NOW on the conference table; instead, he said, “Sit your perfectly magnificent ass down and I’ll get you some food.”

Tony started loading up a plate full of things he thought Loki might like. “So, Bruce, as I was saying… Loki had been injured, a lot, by what happened to him before the invasion, and whatever kind of cell Asgard had him in wasn’t letting him heal. I figured if he could pull on the energy of the ARC reactor, he could fix up Coulson without damaging himself.”

He put the food down in front of Loki. “You look REALLY hot right now, you know.”

Loki grabbed him as soon as the plate was safely out of his hands and pulled him into his lap. Tony felt his hair being pulled back, then his brain shorted out as Loki bruised his neck with his mouth.

Tony heard “genius”,“snjall elskan mín”, and something that he couldn’t begin to pronounce but the bond link seemed to translate as “…fuck you right here”. Tony was in no mood to argue.

Thor was, however; damn his cock-blocking ass. “Brother, I thought you said your magics-“

“Are well recovered,” Loki sighed and moved Tony off his lap. Tony stood there blinking and trying to remember what room he was in. “I used a great deal of my reserves to heal the man, but I shall recover swiftly now, and need not retreat to my sanctum.”

Pepper, who really didn’t like blood, and REALLY, really didn’t like blood on her good shoes, repeated the suggestion that they move to the next conference room; which meant that everyone went to shower blood off, change clothes, and otherwise pull themselves together, and then reconvened in a different room.

\---

After Phil’s recovery, the rest was kind of anti-climactic.

Loki had a wooden staff- he carved runes on it, then one at a time people came up, swore to uphold all the other people in the bargain ‘as if we were under hospitality in my home’ for the purposes of defending the earth and defeating a common enemy. More or less. They had to bleed on the staff, just a little. Loki went first; then Tony; then Fury; and then Agent Coulson. Tony couldn’t help but comment to Agent Coulson that he should have done it before he cleaned up, with all the blood all over him already...

“Not an experience I want to repeat,” Agent said.

“No?” Tony grinned at him, “Tough.”

“I get the feeling you don’t like me anymore, Stark.”

“Agent, let’s get this straight: I not only don’t like you, I hate your guts.”

Tony wondered why he looked surprised.

“That seems a bit strong,” he said, sipping his coffee.

“You think so? You threatened me with torture and death in my own home if I didn’t work for your agency and hand over my designs. The last people who did that were Ten Rings.”

He looked genuinely confused. “When did I threaten you with torture and death?”

“When you threatened the guy with a pacemaker keeping him alive with a Taser, Agent. You may forget that; I never will.” Tony bared his teeth, smiling, “Among other things you’ve done.”

He was quiet for a moment. Loki was almost done with everyone.

“I hadn’t thought of it that way,” he said thoughtfully.

“Which is why I hate you, hate Fury, and hate S.H.I.E.L.D. You have absolutely no concern for who you have to threaten, who you have to hurt, what you have to do, to get what you want.”

“Neither do you.”

“Yes, I do. Another difference, Agent, is that what I want people to do is leave me alone. You wanted me to be a lab rat, a slave, and a prisoner- to make weapons for you just like every other terrorist. I only threaten people who threaten ME- you threaten people you think could be used by you.”

“If you think that, why did you let Loki heal me? I’ve been watching; you could have stopped him.”

“Because Hydra is worse than you... and because Clint is important to him, and you’re important to Clint.” Tony looked hard at Agent Coulson. “Just remember something, Agent: you’re alive and well because of Clint.”

“Wouldn’t be the first time.”

“Hey!” Tony raised his voice. “Just so this is clear, to everyone, Jarvis may not have any blood to put on the staff, but he counts. Fuck with him and I will END you.”

“Of course,” frowned Loki. “I had not considered the issue with Jarvis, but as your servant, and the servant of our house, he would be covered in any case.”

“Yeah, well, Coulson has messed with him before, and he’s a murderous bastard, so I’m making this clear.”

Loki looked around the room, and ended at Agent Coulson. “Agent Coulson, you were healed to please my Hawk, and because you are valuable in this war, but I will also not tolerate any action against Jarvis, and the bindings will enforce that.”

Fury looked back and forth at Loki and Tony, “I get that hacking your tower security system would be violating our agreement, but you make it sound like more than that.”

Jarvis spoke calmly from the ceiling, “I am neither solely at the tower, nor am I solely the security system, Director Fury. My responsibilities are varied, but primarily involved with taking care of Mr. Stark. I believe that he is concerned owing to S.H.I.E.L.D.’s, and Agent Coulson’s, inclination to harm him and threaten his associates, which would of course mean removing me and my defenses first.” A panel in the ceiling opened and a small weapon lowered. “After Agent Coulson overrode my protocols and gained access to Mr. Stark to threaten him, my defenses were upgraded, as were my offensive capabilities.”

Tony grinned, “That’s my boy.”

Loki smiled affectionately, and said to Thor, “Truly an amazing creature and an excellent servant; I was going to carry him off, if I had taken Anthony.”

“However, “ Jarvis continued as the weapon retracted in the ceiling, “I believe we are all supposed to be allies here. Agent Barton is viewed with some fondness by Mr. Stark-and more so by Mr. Laufeyson- and you, Agent Coulson, appear to be valuable to him. Therefore, in the interests of our mutual endeavors, shall we agree to, as it’s said, ‘let bygones be bygones’?”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know a lot of people adore coulson. I'll let you in on a secret, SO DO I... but the facts are he has never been nice to Ton. Tony, the guy with major PTSD? Tony the guyy with a major issue about threats or being forced to make things? yeah, that Tony.  
> Fury and Coulson and Tony are NOT on good terms, even slightly... Coulson just didnt know how much, he thought Tony was just an ass.


	92. You may not like the answer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony's POV  
> Tony talks to Clint a little.

Coulson and Fury went off to talk to the two kids in the infirmary. Frankly Tony felt a lot better without them there. Loki was talking to his brother about something on the other side of the room. It hadn’t involved screaming, knives, or explosions-yet- so Tony was inclined to think that was a good thing.

Clint walked up with an odd expression on his face. “You really dislike Phil that much?”

 _How do I explain this to him?_ “I’ll answer you if you ask me. Fair warning: you may not like the answer.”

“Fair enough,” Clint nodded. “I’m asking.”

“He terrifies me.”

“Well, yeah, I mean, he’s terrifying.”

“YOU don’t think he’s going to torture you to death; I do.”

“Phil wouldn’t do that!”

“Yes he would, if he felt it was for the right reasons. I have no idea what his right reasons might be, either, other than ‘Fury said to’, so I have to assume he’s going to turn on me at any moment.   I won’t ever let someone hurt me like that again, ever.”

“I… I thought you liked him.” Clint hesitated, “I mean kind of... as much as you like anyone.”

“I like lots of people… ok, I tolerate lots of people and I like a few people. I don’t like him, Clint. Frankly I was happier when he was dead- when I thought he was dead. He’s the nightmare that made me re-arm the whole tower. He’s the reason the elevators are death traps and that Jarvis has backups on his backups.” _As well as some systems that aren’t connected to Jarvis, just in case, but why mention those._

“Then… why let Loki…”

“Three reasons, not in any order:“-Tony shrugged- “because he’s really, really good at what he does, and we need him; because it gets Fury on our side better than anything else; and because you want it.”

“Not because Natasha wants it?”

Tony shrugged again. “I don’t like Natasha. I can admire her, but I don’t LIKE her. I think Loki likes her, though, so I guess I’ll learn to deal.”

“Pepper said he saved her life. I’m surprised that isn’t part of your reasons.”

“He did.” Tony looked at Clint, “No, it’s not on the list.” _Pepper almost got killed because I trusted the wrong people._

 

“Saving Pepper’s life… that seriously didn’t make the list of why you let Loki heal him. Why not? I know you love her, even if you two didn’t work out.”

Tony just smiled darkly, “You won’t like the answer.”

“Elskan skáld mín, you have been upset, what is-“ Loki put his hand out and touched Tony’s cheek. “Ah. I am sorry, Anthony, I didn’t realize Agent Coulson would trouble you so.”

“Yeah, well I didn’t think he would be that bad, either. Seeing him in person rattled me _.”_

_Coulson threatening him, ‘If you attempt to leave, or play any games, I will taze you and watch Supernanny while you drool into the carpet’._

Loki looked concerned, “He cannot harm you, gæludýr minn; the bindings see to that.”

Tony nodded. “By the way, I have to apologize.”

“For what?” Loki asked.

“Blaming you that bad for Agent’s death. I wanted him dead SO badly, and when you killed him and Pepper was so upset, and everyone else was in mourning, I felt guilty so I just shoved it all on you.”

“Understandable. I have done something very similar.” Loki suddenly grinned evilly down at him. “But indeed you have wronged me, and so you should be punished. I shall have to consider an appropriate punishment for you.” _And damn if the way he said that didn’t get me halfway there._

Tony suddenly remembered Clint was still standing there. “Oh, I never answered you about him saving Pepper, Clint; you sure you want the answer?”-he saw Clint nod just a little- “Do you remember me telling you that I knew Coulson was alive after I hacked Fury’s private servers? How he had multiple operations and a lot of medical treatment?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s remarkably easy to kill someone when electronics control the anesthetic, and the dose of every medication you get. I didn’t kill him- never even seriously considered it- even though he haunted my nightmares, because he saved Pepper. I figured I owed him that… and besides, crippled, he couldn’t terrorize me, and it’d be enough. That’s why saving her wasn’t on the list. It was already why he was still breathing.”

Clint looked stunned. _Just now realizing why Fury has his two best assassins on me?_

Loki wrapped his arms around Tony and calmly said, “My darling could be the best of villains, but he is not because he truly cares for people. Dr. Banner, Ms. Potts, a handful of others, are the reasons he has not to turn his rage outward; instead he turns it inward.” Loki looked down at Tony firmly. “I will no longer permit that. You are MINE, Ástin mín, and I will not permit it, understand?”

Tony sagged against him. “We’re all mad, here.” _Who’s the real monster?_

“Is that another quote, Anthony?”

“Yeah, it’s from Alice in Wonderland. The Cheshire Cat says it.” Tony was starting to shake.

“Ms. Potts?” Loki raised his voice pleasantly. “Could you step over here, please?”

Tony vaguely saw Pepper come over and eyebrow wiggle at Clint. Clint shrugged back with an ‘I dunno’ kind of vibe.

Loki pulled him in and kissed him, and he felt himself falling into a warm and sparkling green haze. _Wasn’t sleeping beauty supposed to have been kissed awake? Not asleep?_

“Ms. Potts, can you keep watch over Anthony? I need to speak to some people…” he heard distantly, as the sparkling green haze got deeper and deeper… and deeper….

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was tempted to skip over this, but honestly i felt like it told everyone things they needed to know.  
> We'll be switching POV for a couple chapters. i SWEAR we get to some lighter stuff -or at least more fun- in just a few more chapters.


	93. I have to kill something -Loki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki's POV   
> in which he talks to Fury and Coulson about their interactions with Tony, and regrets it.

“Ms. Potts, can you keep watch over Anthony? I need to speak to some people…” Loki said, keeping his voice pleasant while he put Anthony into a deep trance.

“What happened?” she asked worriedly.

“Sir?” His Hawk put his professional expression back on.

“Flashbacks and panic,” Loki said quietly.

His Hawk looked puzzled as Ms. Potts simply nodded. “Normally, I would get him out of sight and on the floor and talk to him until he came out of it,” she said quietly.

“This… happens? I’ve never seen…” _My Hawk was unaware of Anthony’s struggles?_

“He usually plasters his media face on and leaves the room making jokes,” Ms. Potts said quietly

“He is in a deep trance and calm.” Loki altered the spell just slightly. “There. Now he will go with you if you direct him. He will also wake if you kiss him: he was thinking something about that. I need to speak to some people so that this does not happen again.

“Hawk, fetch your little Spider. We will go find your Agent Coulson and Director Fury.” Loki nodded at everyone else as he left the room.

It didn’t take long to reach the infirmary. The two spymasters were speaking to the two ‘yarn merchants’ he had rescued.

“I do apologize, but I need to speak to these two for a moment,” he said, indicating Fury and Coulson.

Loki firmly directed them to the conference room on this floor.

When he had all four of them-Fury, Coulson, his Hawk, and the Spider- he began: “Jarvis?”

“Yes, Mr. Laufeyson?”

“This is a private discussion, and Anthony shall only hear of it or see it if he directly requests. IF he directly requests, please inform him that I have asked that he speak to me first?”

“Of course, Mr. Laufeyson.”

“Not going to tell Jarvis not to tell him?” Fury asked him, raising an eyebrow.

“For the first, that would be pointless, and secondly it would worry Anthony if I did,” Loki said calmly. “Now let me put this succinctly: the bargains and bindings we are under protect all of you; however, if you are acting- knowingly- in a way that does Anthony harm, or breaks confidence with him, then YOU have broken the agreement.”

His Hawk looked puzzled at him, “Sir? Wasn’t that the point of this?”

“Yes. The key word is ‘knowingly’.” Loki smiled at them, and was gratified to see that all four of them knew a threat when it showed its teeth. “I am therefore informing you of some facts. These facts are private, and to reveal them without absolute need would violate our agreements. Is that understood?”

Coulson nodded. “You’re saying we are currently UN-knowingly hurting him, or may be, and that after you tell us we would be knowingly hurting him. Right?”

“Correct.”

Natasha nodded. “Like Pepper being allergic to strawberries. Accidentally giving her something with strawberries isn’t going to trigger the bindings, deliberately doing it is an attack.”

“Indeed.” Loki blinked. “I had not known she was allergic.” –he shook his head- “In any event you are correct little Spider. I am telling you something of that nature.

“Anthony and I have both experienced multiple occasions when we were grievously harmed, or betrayed. In both of our cases, it left us wary and mistrustful. It also left us both suffering from what is called here PTSD.”

Fury nodded, “No surprise, based on what I know.”

“All of you, save possibly my Hawk, cause him alarm to some degree. If you wish us to be able to work together, you must do what you can to ensure that he is NOT sent into nightmares by you.”

Coulson looked thoughtfully at Loki, “You feature pretty prominently in my own nightmares.”

“And if you tell me how I can alleviate that I shall attempt to do so, although my suggestion is that we simply not work together unless needs must.”

Romanoff looked thoughtful, “What can I do?”

“Likely much of it is time, little Spider. However, I would advise you to be very clear as to your intent around him, especially if you approach him from behind. It would help if you could make amends in some way with Ms. Potts.”

She winced, slightly. “I have been trying.”

Loki shrugged, “Then likely that is all you can do. However,” -he turned to Fury and Coulson- “You two are a different matter. You have been the source of his fear for too long. Time alone will not do. I would suggest that you apologize, and reassure him. You also likely should spend as little time in his presence as you can unless others are present, such as myself.”

“Apologize? For what?!” Fury looked indignant.

“He mentioned my threatening him with the Taser as ‘torture and death’ because of his reactor. I hadn’t thought of the implications,” Coulson said thoughtfully.

Loki stilled. Judging from the subtle movement away from him by the others, his opinion was clear.

“Yes, Agent Coulson,” Loki said in a pleasant voice, a very pleasant voice, if it was any more pleasant the man would be flayed alive by now, “Threatening a man with shrapnel in his heart with a weapon that can cause heart attacks is indeed a death threat, why?”

_I cannot kill them for crimes committed prior to the bindings… I cannot kill them for crimes committed prior to the bindings…_

Jarvis cleared his throat, “There is also the fact that Agent Coulson, and other personnel here, have overridden my programming to gain access to Mr. Stark when he couldn’t defend himself.”

_But I have to kill something…_

Loki smiled oh-so-pleasantly and vanished.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honestly the worst part of this for Loki is that these people, who are SUPPOSED TO BE so smart... apparently have no clue. He had honestly put down a lot of the issues with the Avengers to this being a "new idea" where Fury and etc didnt have any idea how to handle a completely new thing.  
> and seeing a lot of similarities to Asgard....  
> He really hadn't understood that Fury and Coulson were apparently completely unaware that THREATENING and BULLYING Tony was a stupid idea. right now he is torn between throttling Tony for thinking this was any better than Hydra (hey, what does he know, really) and throttling them. and he can't... because of the bindings. until they fuck up again.
> 
> remember, Loki is still recovering and isn't thinking perfectly clearly (although he's better now), most people only have part of the information, and Tony had managed to shove a lot of this WAY into the background when he wasnt having to deal with them face to face. At the time he was in DEEP link with Loki, he hadnt seen them in a while.


	94. A Matter of Economics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony's POV  
> In the comic universe (more so than the movie one) there are SO MANY mercenaries and super assassins. *someone* has to be hiring them.

_He was dancing with Pepper at a grand ball in Stuttgart. The music was playing sweet and green, and Natasha was dancing with Justin Hammer-who was gagged and bleeding from a thousand tiny cuts. There was Bruce, dancing with himself, talking about gamma radiation while the Hulk followed his lead and tried not to look bored. Steve was nowhere to be found, probably off fighting Nazis with Howard- When Pepper noticed they were missing she’d be mad. He signaled the band to switch to a tango. This insanely tall good looking man in a mask came up with a hawk, a real hawk, perched on his staff and asked if he could dance. Pepper just smiled and told him to go have fun, and she kissed him…_

Tony woke up with a memory of Pepper kissing him. _That was one of the good dreams; it’s always nice to get those for a change._

“Tony…” Pepper’s voice called softly.

“I don’t want to wake up,” his dream self said to Pepper, and then he blinked and realized he had said it. He was sitting in his penthouse and Pepper was looking at him worriedly, and the Avengers were all there looking awkward as fuck.

Tony fell back on snark and witty remarks, “And you were there… and you... and I’m back in Kansas I guess.”

“We have a problem,” said Clint, rubbing the back of his neck.

“How did I end up-“

Pepper said gently, “You had some kind of an episode and Loki apparently put you to... sleep, I guess. I could move you, so I walked you up here. He said you would wake up if I kissed you.”

“Sleeping Beauty.” Tony blinked, “I was thinking about Sleeping Beauty and he was doing it wrong because he kissed me and I went to sleep.” Tony looked around, “So where is he?”

“That’s the problem.” Clint said.

Tony cocked his head and looked around at everyone. “Well, he’s not hurt- I think I’d know that- but while he can get a fix on ME at range, I can’t do that to him; so… what HAPPENED already?”

Steve looked around and apparently figured no one else was going to do the right thing, so he would. “Apparently he found out a lot more about your prior dealings with S.H.I.E.L.D. and Agent Coulson and I’m not sure what else. He was lecturing them-“

“He gave us the shovel talk, basically,” Clint said, sounding tired. “As in, since we didn’t know any better before, it was all water under the bridge; but from now on we better behave.”

Natasha sounded urgent, “He vanished right out of the room, and he looked furious. We need to keep him from hurting anyone.”

Tony laughed. Everyone else looked at him like he’d lost his mind.

Thor rumbled, “You have no idea what he’s capable of-“

“Point Break, I have more idea about that than YOU do.” Tony shook his head. “Ok, he’s pissed off and instead of slaughtering YOU guys, because you’re under hospitality, he went off to kick ass somewhere else. So what?”

“Innocent people could be DYING, Stark-“ Fury snarled.

“Oh no you don’t,” Tony glared and pointed at him, “You don’t give a rats ass if he kills innocent people, so don’t even start with me.”

“What?! You’ve gone off your rocker, Stark; S.H.I.E.L.D. exists to protect innocent people!”

“Maybe it did once, Director, but since when do you and your boys and girls actually give a damn? I’m an innocent civilian, and I was barely back from being tortured when you tried to shanghai me into handing you weapons. I’ve been stabbed, lied to, threatened, and held prisoner and that’s just because you think I’m too rich, too powerful, and too useful to dump in a pit somewhere.”

“You were never an innocent civilian, Stark.”

“Then who is?” Stark smiled tightly.

Steve stepped up, “Whoa, whoa everyone… let’s just calm down here.”

Steve looked at Tony with a measuring look, “Tony, I know you… I know you love him.” He sort of swallowed and flushed a bit. Tony wasn’t quite sure if it was annoying or adorable. “That means that you may not be as objective as you think, but it also means you know him better than we do. Can you   try to think about where he MIGHT be, or what he MIGHT do?”

Tony sat back and sighed.

“It depends on whether he just wants to do the equivalent of punch walls and scream at people, or if he wants to go have a fight. WE used to be what he would go off and do, rather than hit civilians, you know.”

From the stunned looks on a lot of faces, including Thor, he guessed they didn’t quite know that.

“Seriously. We could TAKE it if he needed to hit someone. So if he needed to go pick a fight, he picked one with us. No civilians involved. That and, since we hit back, it tended to be more of a distraction.” Tony shrugged. “Right now? If he needs to go fight he’ll probably go slaughter a Hydra base or something. It’s more likely that he just found a nice cold cliff face somewhere, punched the hell out of it, and screamed curses in Asgardian.”

Thor looked thoughtful, “Truthfully that is what I do. Go to the distant borders and fight in skirmishes, punch a cliff and yell, or…” Thor looked uncomfortable.

 _Or go slaughter Frost Giants_. “Yup. There you go. The coping mechanisms he learned at home.”

Clint looked around at everyone, “Well, all we can do is wait for him to come back. We have two S.H.I.E.L.D. scientists who need to be kept secret, who haven’t sworn an oath yet... but the rest of us can get on with plans.”

Coulson spoke up, “Fitz and Simmons, your two rescues, are both very bright specialists. If you can use them here, they can stay here; otherwise, they can hide out with me until later.”

“Well, fine. We’ll ask them which they prefer.” Tony shrugged. “So let’s talk about this weekend, shall we?”

“What about this weekend?” Bruce asked

“I need to send a message to some people I know. Since none of us can go near the scepter- doubly so for anyone who actually touched it- we need to get some other non-Hydra villains to go get it for us.”

“And you happen to know how to get in touch with supervillains?” Natasha asked dubiously.

“Duh.” He looked around at the perplexed looks on everyone’s faces, “Who do you think HIRES people like Clint and Natasha and all those crazy supervillain types? They don’t all work for S.H.I.E.L.D.”

“I knew it: he’s taking over the world,” Clint smiled at him.

“I am not! Pepper refuses to run it for me.”

“I did rather emphasize that…” Pepper said firmly.

“Seriously guys, THINK. Super assassins and powered villains for hire are EXPENSIVE. They get hired by companies like SI, and Hammer Industries, and OsCorp and Doom-well Doom honestly has all of his in-house, but anyway…”

“We knew about the corporate espionage types and the security contacts, Stark, but for what you’re talking about you need firepower.” Said Fury

“I know, and I know people who can make the contacts for me. I don’t normally hire these people because I don’t NEED to. I can usually do anything I need to all by myself, thanks.”

“So how did you manage to have all these contacts without S.H.I.E.L.D. finding out?”

“Huh? Oh, well given that I KNOW I am under surveillance, Captain Jack, I can either meet them here, if they’re innocuous enough to slip in and out without notice, or I go to the BDSM party this weekend and meet them there: absolutely, positively discrete.” Tony smiled, “I should know. I use those same facilities and contacts for actual BDSM and you never got a hint. It’s the perfect meeting place.”

“There should be nowhere that private, given just HOW under surveillance you were,” Natasha frowned. “So where is this party?”

“Oh, you probably knew I went there, but you wouldn’t be able to find out what goes on inside. Doesn’t matter if it’s charity donations for kitten rescue, or buying plutonium: what happens in the Hellfire Club, stays in the Hellfire Club.”

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Hellfire Club is canon divergence it is not EXACTLY the comic book one, nor the move one. However i will point out that it is Comic book Canon that Tony Stark, among other people, belongs to the Hellfire Club. seriously. Plus of course the fact that most members have no idea what the inner circle is up to.
> 
> Oh, and obviously Canon Divergence owing to different timelines , etc. yes thats Fitz-Simmons from Agents of SHIELD, no the timeline is changed


	95. Introducing the Hellfire Club

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony's POV, in which we get a brief introduction to the HellFire Club  
> (see notes)

“The HELLFIRE CLUB?!” Steve yelped. _Steve? Steve even knew the name?_

“The what?” Bruce asked.

“Ok, now this… this is backwards,” Tony frowned, “We have a system here guys: everyone knows about modern stuff except Thor and Steve… we have a system, and you’re messing with it.”

Fury pulled up a chair and sat in it, backwards, which should have looked goofy-like he was trying to look like a kid- but instead it looked badass. “Every spy agency in the world would like to get into the Hellfire Club. We’ve never made it past their public parties and open houses.” He frowned, “Their membership list is pretty impressive, from what we’ve put together.”

“The HELLFIRE CLUB?” Steve repeated, looking increasingly appalled. “That… that…Your father would disown you for-“

Tony barked a laugh that was more vicious than he intended. “Howard? Disown me for inheriting his club membership?”

“…” Steve just opened and closed his mouth with a look of complete shock.

Bruce sighed, “For the people in the audience, Tony, can you give us some clues?”

Tony looked around and sighed. “Since my booze has been confiscated, can we at least get a round of root beer or ginger ale or something?”

\---

Tony looked around, “Ok, let’s start from the top. Who knows nothing about the club, or has only just maybe heard the name?”

Bruce waved his hand. Thor rumbled something about ‘Midgardian religions’.

“Ah, no Point Break, not… exactly. We’ll get to that.”

Pepper smiled and said, “I used to do the paperwork for your dues, you went to a lot of their parties, before...” She stopped smiling.

“Before Afghanistan. Yeah.”

She continued on, a bit more subdued, “You took me to a couple of the charity events they sponsored, but you never took me to the clubhouse, or the private functions.”

_As vanilla as you are, Pep? Not a chance._

“Ok, so…” he waved at Clint and Natasha.

Natasha shrugged, “I’ve read a few reports. It’s a club for the very rich, with property around the world. A lot of wild parties- the law is encouraged to look elsewhere-and there was a scandal when a British MP and some prostitute died at the London club of a drug overdose- S.H.I.E.L.D. files list it as ‘suspicious’. Their membership list is closely guarded, but a number of people are publicly members.” -she paused, thoughtfully- “They also sponsor a number of charitable events.”

Clint shook his head, “I knew less than that. I do know that some of my old, pre-S.H.I.E.L.D. contacts said the Hellfire Club parties were good places to pick up work, so what you said makes sense.”

“You had a life pre- S.H.I.E.L.D.?” Tony stared at him.

“Yes.” Clint just sipped his ginger ale. Tony decided to ask him about it later. _Much later. Like maybe in another lifetime later._

There was a bit of uncomfortable silence before Fury spoke up: “The Hellfire Club public events, charitable events, and open house type events are all able to be infiltrated, and have been. We’ve never managed to get an agent into their buildings past the public rooms or into a private function with any success. On the rare occasion we have gotten any bugs planted, we haven’t gotten anything very useful, and the bugs get found and destroyed fast.”

Tony’s stomach churned at the idea of bugs in any of their private rooms. _I’m donating some SI stock to the club for security, first thing._

“In any event, quite a number of years ago the CIA, a number of Senators and Congressmen, and the President all politely informed the WSC that we were wasting time and money investigating a social club. They were…” -Fury looked as though he were sucking on a lemon- “persuasive.”

“Oh, I bet I know what year that was,” Tony suddenly laughed. “Yeah, I got a club memo asking me to tell a few of the politicians that I wasn’t going to be able to donate to their campaign funds that year if they didn’t act to ‘keep S.H.I.E.L.D.   out of civilian matters’. I not only wrote a note, I called personally: pointed out that if the spy groups got away with that, then THEIR personal lives would be under scrutiny too… and their kids’.” He shook his head.

Coulson looked annoyed, “We ask you to do something and you pitch a fit; they ask, and you go above and beyond?”

“YOU people never ask- you order me around or threaten me.” Tony looked pointedly at Coulson, “It’s called being nice to me: you should try it sometime.”

Steve rather hurriedly started talking, “The club was there when I grew up. Everyone said it was where rich people went to do things they shouldn’t do. There were some scandals and I think someone got shot at one of their parties.” He was turning a bit pink, “They had a reputation for having alcohol during prohibition; they pretty well admitted it when prohibition ended. They were serving drinks on the sidewalk, after.” He flushed, “I’ve seen the photos. The people serving drinks weren’t wearing much… for then.”

“Capsicle, you think shorts are indecent.” Tony rolled his eyes.

“Uh... I’m just not used to seeing them as… civilian clothes. You know, on the street? Some of the performers and dancers wore shorts.” Tony couldn’t believe how bashful he looked.

Of course Pepper had to respond: “I hope it never bothered you when I wore shorts, Steve.”

“No, Ma’am- I mean Pepper.” Steve ducked his head and looked back at Tony like he was desperate to change the subject. “Howard belonged to that club? It really had a bad reputation. Our priest even mentioned it in a sermon about Sodom and Gomorrah!”

Tony laughed until his sides hurt. “I’ll have to tell some of them, they’ll be thrilled.”

He looked back over at Coulson. “Tell me, Agent- Fury- can you name anything you, or S.H.I.E.L.D., has done to be NICE to me?”

Fury glanced at Natasha, “Slowed down the palladium poisoning? Gave you the means to stop it? I think saving your life is pretty nice.”

“Nope, not nice. Not nice at all. IF you had come up and said, ‘We know palladium is poisonous, and I think there may be a solution, let me help you’? THAT would have been nice. Stabbing me in the neck and then threatening me, telling me that you can kill me at any time, but RIGHT NOW I’m useful to you? Do you honestly think that’s nice?”

Fury frowned. Coulson looked... thoughtful. A lot of the team were looking pretty damned uncomfortable; Tony didn’t care.

“The Hellfire Club prides itself on being a place where people like me- people who can’t go get a cup of coffee without it ending up in the gossip rags- can get some peace and quiet. The only thing they ask is that you pay your dues and respect the rules- the rules being damned simple: you pay your dues; you do NOT talk about anything you heard or saw inside the club, without permission; and you help keep the place private.”

Thor blinked and a look of understanding crossed his face. “Hospitality!”

“What?” Tony blinked at him.

“It is hospitality! Just as we are under now! You keep their secrets, they keep yours, and you defend your hosts.” Thor beamed.

“I hadn’t thought of it that way…” _Maybe explaining this to Loki was going to be easier than I thought._

“Run by Faeries, that explains it,” grumbled Steve.

“Look, nine times out of ten, nothing more dramatic than ‘sitting down at the bar and NOT having my photo end up on Twitter’ is going on. Yes, a lot of the members are into stuff that would be a scandal if it got out, and the club is one of the few places you can be yourself and no one is EVER going to talk about it. It’s private; including for business deals and hiring people.”

Bruce looked thoughtful, “So you can be open about… what you like... there?”

Tony sighed, “Kind of.” He looked at everyone’s confused looks. “I could be public about being a sub there and I guarantee that no one would breathe a word of it outside, BUT... that doesn’t mean it wouldn’t affect how they, personally, view me.”

The spies nodded, they got it; Pepper, check; Bruce, yeah. Tony looked over at Steve and Thor, “It might make them think less of me, which might mean a problem when I have to deal with them later, EVEN if they don’t say anything.”

Thor nodded, “I see. Yes.”

Steve nodded too, biting his lip, “Like not wanting to show a lot of weakness in front of your men, even though you know they wouldn’t say anything.”

Tony nodded, “A lot more people at the club know I’m into BDSM than know outside of it. The number that know I only play the dom for cover is… a lot smaller. I’ve made a point of being seen on the other end of the leash enough that most people either think I’m on top, or… maybe think I switch?” -he shrugged- “But this weekend will be the first time I’ll be walking in wearing a collar.”

Fury blinked at him as if he’d shorted a circuit or something, “You’re gonna what?”

“Go to a private Hellfire Club function, with Loki.” Tony couldn’t stop smiling just thinking about it.

“You’re going to take LOKI?!” Tony marveled that so many people managed to all say exactly the same thing at the same time.   Of the rest, Thor was just frowning and looked like he was trying to puzzle it out, and Steve was burying his head in his hands muttering in… _What is that? Is that Gaelic? It sounds like a magician having a fight with a drunk poet._

“Steve? What the FUCK are you saying?”

He looked up, tiredly, “Never mind. Just do me a favor, and carry a bit of cold wrought iron with you?”

Everyone just kind of looked at each other.

“Uh… ok.” Tony blinked a lot.

Clint asked the question everyone seemed to be thinking about: “WHY are you going to take Loki? I thought this was to hire mercenaries?”

“Because the Hellfire Club is probably the only place on earth- it’s for sure the only place in the city- where I can walk in, wearing a collar, with Loki as my partner.” Tony smiled happily, “Right now? Right now the Hellfire Club looks like Heaven to me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Hellfire Club has been in New York since long before Steve Rogers era. S of course he knows about the NOTORIOUS and often in the papers, and gossiped about, club. The Irish community of the late 19th and early 20th century would have had a love /hate relationship with the BRITISH started and based club, that hires a lot of well paid servants. servants who might not be able to get a good job anywhere else, for being Jewish, or Irish, or whatever. Getting and keeping that kind of job is based entirely on keeping your mouth SHUT, however. You can imagine how that went over in his home community. ahem.
> 
> by the by, MY Hellfire club , in this fic, is an AU canon divergence, that i created based on both the movies and the comic books, so... don't make too many assumptions. but Tony Stark and several others belong to the club, Howard Stark did (thats comic book CANON) and the members don't usually know much of what goes on with the inner circle.


	96. Putting out the Fire with Gasoline

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony's POV, Loki gets back to the tower...
> 
> Note: I am not responsible for this chapter, Tony ran off with my keyboard.

 

Fury tried to get Tony to tell him more about the club; Tony smiled and told them that was all they got.

Bruce of course backed him up. Pepper… Pepper mostly stayed quiet and looked like she wanted to talk to him later.

He supposed, later, that it wasn’t a surprise that Clint and Natasha sided with him. “If club members talked about the club that easily, then no one could use it as a drop or meeting place.” Clint shrugged. “Besides, didn’t you say some pretty important people said to drop it?”

Tony was decidedly amused that Thor backed him on his refusal. “But of course he cannot speak of it! We may be under his hospitality, but not theirs!” Thor said as though, once it was explained, OF COURSE those two would back down.

What shocked Tony a bit was when STEVE backed him up: “If he’s going to take his word seriously, then I don’t see why you expect him to break it for you.” He muttered under his breath about fairies again.

Faced with a united front, Fury and Coulson decided to leave before things got too suspicious; so, after one more flurry of contact exchanges, they left. It was agreed that Fitz –Leo- and Simmons –Jenna- would work in the tower labs and stay out of sight. Once Loki got back they could take oaths.

Tony didn’t think they minded sticking around, judging by the complete geek out when he showed them the labs; in fact, he thought they might have trouble getting them OUT- ever. They kept talking over each other and finishing each other’s sentences and arguing adorably; it was like having a pair of science nerd puppies. He left Bruce in charge of paper training them.

\---

Loki showed back up late Thursday evening. _OF COURSE he showed up when I was deep into work in my lab, of course he did._

“What are you doing, gæludýr minn?” Loki’s silky voice startled him so badly that he fell out of his chair and knocked his coffee over.

Tony spun clutching his chest and finally focused on…

“Oh my God, fuck me right now,” Tony breathed out, because… _it was LOKI in full Asgardian leathers, spattered just slightly in blood, still holding a knife that he was cleaning off with a cloth, and smelling like Tony’s personal aphrodisiac of gasoline and auto shop._

Loki wrinkled his nose slightly, “I am hardly clean, and I smell-“

Tony lunged and started snuffling into a smear of motor oil on Loki’s neck. “You smell like cars; you’re holding a knife; you’re covered in leather; and you smell like cars…. It’s Christmas and my birthday and FUCK ME RIGHT NOW!” Tony’s hands were shaking as he tried to peel the clothes off of the leather clad, green eyed, knife wielding villain who smelled like cars.

Green light flickered over Loki and the blood vanished, but thankfully not the motor oil or other automotive smells.

“I clearly should have just baited a trap with a sports car when I tried to kidnap you…” Loki smirked and started undoing his pants.

“You ARE a sports car!” Tony protested trying to inhale the leather armor- _Leather and motor oil, oh dear god, leather and motor oil and that wintergreen musky Loki smell-_ “Leather…” Tony’s brain shorted out as Loki pulled him by his hair.

 _And I am completely NOT whining like a deprived_ _child_ as Loki turned him away and force marched him over to a lab table.

“You did say to fuck you right now, I believe? As it happens, I am extremely interested, but thought you might not be…”

“Talking… too much… more fucking… leather?” _Why don’t people understand perfectly coherent requests, honestly?_

Loki casually held him with one hand around both of Tony’s wrists behind his back. Loki was doing something behind him, but it clearly did NOT involve fucking him because he was just being HELD here while Loki moved around back there. Loki switched holding Tony’s wrists to his other hand, and continued doing something.

“This is cruelty; seriously, Reindeer Games, cruelty.” -he twisted violently in Loki’s grasp-“Just tell me the cars weren’t hurt.”

“They were only taxis-“ Loki started.

Tony cut him off instantly, “So you put them out of their misery, good job. So we should go down to my garage right now, or-“

Loki tossed his leather coat onto the lab table and shoved Tony onto it.

“Oh thank you god…” Tony breathed in the smell of death, and fire, and Loki, and auto shop as he was shoved face first into Loki’s leather armor and his pants were ripped off.

Loki shoved his legs apart roughly and did something that made him feel wet back there. Tony didn’t care; if he were a girl he would have creamed his pants already just from the smell. Loki and leather and automobile smells clearly had a priority route from his nose to his crotch. _I should have realized that from the first time he showed up…_

Loki worked him open just a little, still holding Tony’s hands behind his back, and Tony couldn’t have moved if he wanted to. _But who wanted to?_

He could feel Loki pressed up against him, and tried to relax and inhale leather and motor oil and he was pinned in place so CASUALLY and _Oh my god there could never be enough of this…_

Loki slammed into him hard, the leather coat padding the edge of the table beneath him. He was literally having his nose rubbed in leather and motor oil with every stroke.

Tony came pretty quickly. Loki kept going and fucked him right over the edge and back. Eventually Loki let go of his wrists so he could brace against the table. Tony couldn’t keep his legs under him anymore and collapsed, but Loki was pinning him against the leather coat covered lab table and _oh dear GOD he was hitting the right spot with every stroke, and I’m hard again and I COULDN’T…_

Tony felt the table under him vibrating like his Bugatti Veyron accelerating. _The lab table shouldn’t ... be… isn’t…_

He was pinned between Loki and the leather coat and his body had reached its limits… _and motor oil and helpless… and leather … and knives…_

He vaguely remembered being carried somewhere.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, as should have been evident from chapter 6 or so on, Tony has a 'thing' for cars and mechanics and machinery. (i mean really, is this news?)
> 
> This was supposed to be a talking chapter with maybe a blow job. err.... Tony ran off with my keyboard. sorry?/not sorry.  
> The next couple chapters sort of went in a different direction because of this. shrug.


	97. pre-Columbian languages -Loki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki's pov.   
> in which collar shopping plans are changed.

“Sir?” a throat cleared- _that wasn’t Jarvis_ -“Sir, for the sake of all of our nerves, can you tell me what you did when you were gone?”- _Hawk, that was his Hawk_ \- “Other than Tony, I mean.”

“Pardon?” Loki sat up, careful not to disturb Anthony, and his Hawk handed him his tea.

Loki sipped his tea and looked at it, then up at his Hawk, and smiled, “I missed you.”

“You keep saying that, Sir.” Hawk said with a resigned sigh. He handed him a Starkpad with a summary report on it. “Thor has gone to see his...” he trailed off.

“Her name is Foster, I believe. Dr. Foster. She used to work with Selvig.” Loki sipped his tea and looked over the report. “I have no idea what he sees in her, but it’s of little concern to me.”

“No one was sure what you would do if…” –he paused– “If you got your hands on her.”

Loki looked puzzled, “Why would I do anything? She’s a woman.” Loki then added hurriedly, before his Hawk could take offense on behalf of his Spider, “And not a warrior.”

“Getting at people through loved ones is an old tactic, sir; we tend to worry about it.”

“Mflgrg.” Anthony grabbed a pillow and pulled it over his head. ”Kfe…”

“Even all-speak won’t let me understand THAT,” Loki laughed. “Although I suspect we should take our discussion away from the bedroom.”

“PLEASE, sir?” He looked very uncomfortable.

Jarvis spoke up, “Mr. Stark expressed distaste for the early hour, and requested coffee.”

Loki got up out of the tangle of sheets and called his clothing around him. “Servants’ magic,” he said firmly, “to be able to understand that.” He walked out and gestured Barton to follow.

Once they left the room, Jarvis continued: “It is Friday, at eleven-oh-eight AM. Plans proceed as scheduled. The weather forecast is cold for this time of year but not unduly so-Mr. Stark will need a winter coat- coffee is waiting, and breakfast has just arrived in the elevator.”

“Thank you, Jarvis.”

“Seriously, sir, what WERE you doing? Besides banging Stark through the mattress?” His Hawk implored.

“I found some less important miscreants and dealt with them. Did you know that Anthony has a sexual fascination with cars?”

“TMI,” His Hawk muttered, setting up the food.

Jarvis cleared his throat, “Given that Mr. Stark compared you to a fast car, too many bottles of scotch, and Decker Canyon Road on your first visit, I believe that should have been understood.”

Barton sighed, “Cars are a sex thing for guys…. some guys… not like you want to screw the car, but it’s a”-he looked thoughtful- “power thing? Half naked women draped over cars is a common sales tactic.”

Romanoff came into the room from somewhere. “A lot of men use it as a sexual statement, why?”

“I came back covered in blood and automobile products. The blood seemed slightly to his interests-more likely the knife- but” -Loki grinned-”he was made incoherent by the combination of leather and motor oil. He said so, repeatedly. He also insisted on demonstrating.”

Barton held a hand up, “TMI, sir, seriously-“

“Given that he has re-built several of his cars from the ground up, likes to drive some of the fastest cars on the planet, and builds his own armor, I can’t say it surprises me.” Romanoff shrugged, “Lots of men get turned on by smells associated with cars. His reaction was… unusual?”

“Extraordinary. I may take to wearing motor oil on special occasions,” Loki laughed.

His Hawk groaned and put his hand over his face, “Don’t encourage him, Nat.”

“Since the psych department and profilers seem to be completely incompetent, I am just-“

She was interrupted by an apparently undead Anthony wandering out of the bedroom. He was wearing boxer shorts and had found a t-shirt somewhere, and was staggering out trailing a sheet, which appeared to have gotten tucked into his boxers. His eyes were not apparently open.

“Kfe, Jrvs.”

“On the bar, sir,” Jarvis said politely. “It is Friday-“

“Kthnxs.” Tony waved a hand vaguely and continued to the bar.

Loki, Barton, and Romanoff just watched him go by, without apparently noticing them, in silence.

Loki cleared his throat, “He’s normally less… errr… more…”

“Wow.” Barton looked impressed. “That’s worse than when he had those three-“

Romanoff cut him off, “TMI, Clint, right?”

Anthony got his coffee and turned around to face them. He blinked woozily. “Ths wz gret, shld do mr smtim.” He nodded solemnly at them. “Crs n grge nexttm.”

It took three cups of coffee and half the breakfast before Anthony started using actual words. Loki felt rather pleased about that.

\---

Loki had no trouble taking the two scientists oaths: Director Fury had apparently told them it was the price of playing in Anthony’s labs.

“Sure-“ the man waved absently at Loki and the staff.

“Whatever, but Fitz have you seen-” the woman grabbed Fitz and dragged him over to one of the holographic displays.

“Yes! And gamma particles with-“ he waved absently at a different display, knocking over several objects.

“That could mean major advances-“ she squeaked and started setting up lab equipment.

Ok, he had SOME difficulty getting them to sit still long enough to take their oaths, but once they did he simply released them back into the labs. It seemed to be their natural environment.

He staggered back away from them and sat down next to Dr. Banner. _I wonder if that’s how exhausting Thor and I were as youngsters._ Anthony was grinning at the two; so was Dr. Banner.

After watching them for a few minutes, Anthony asked, “Bruce, can you keep watching the puppies while I handle some personal business?”

“Sure thing, it’s nice that you got two of them, they can keep each other company.” Dr. Banner grinned. “They’re CUTE.” He paused, “They’re also really smart. Seriously I think they’ll be helpful.”

“Yup, just keep them from peeing on the carpets or chewing on any wires, ‘kay?”

Anthony and Dr. Banner bumped fists.

\---

Loki finally got Anthony alone. “Now Anthony, I need to talk to you about collar shopping.”

Anthony looked worried, “We have plenty of time, really.”

Loki sighed, “Anthony, if you want to buy a temporary collar until we can get one suited to you, we can; however, are you wearing this collar for yourself, or for me?”

“Um… both?”

“I do not need you to wear one, but if you are wearing one for me, let me tell you what I would like?”

Anthony nodded.

“It would have to be attractive. It would have to be something that you could remove easily-“

“Huh? Why?”

“So that you would never feel trapped, kjánalegt maður. It is perfectly fine if it’s difficult for anyone else to remove it, minn svass, but you have to be able to remove it at a touch– IF you want to.”

Anthony started looking thoughtful.

“And since you are prized for your cleverness and your cunning, it should have something clever and cunning about it, of course.”

Anthony was starting to grin, “Sounds better than any of my ideas…”

“Put bluntly, snjall elskan mín, the only person who is worthy to make a collar suited to you, is you.” Loki smiled, “It would reflect well on the fact that you have entered our arrangement voluntarily as well, would it not?”

“I don’t have anything better to do before we go to the club.”

“I thought you had to break into S.H.I.E.L.D. databases, among other things?”

“I can multi-task.”

“Then would you prefer to try to make your collar now? Or buy a–“

Anthony waved distractedly at him, muttering about metals. “Hey, is it ok if it’s red?”

“Yes, Anthony, “ Loki kissed him on his forehead, “it can be any color you like.”

“You want one?” Anthony was already looking off toward his labs.

“No, elskan, maybe a vambrace someday.”

“Jarvis?”

“Yes, sir?”

“Tell Loki where to go get clothes, set up an account, the usual.”

“Yes, sir.”

Anthony wandered off to his labs, muttering.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> seriously people keep running off with my keyboards.  
> they were supposed to go shopping. really. instead you get a one on one discussion with Clint. i know you guys have been waiting for it... AND an unexpected visitor at the tower after that!   
> talk, talk, talk. shrug. what can i do.


	98. Back to where it all began – Loki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki's POV.  
> Clint and Loki finally sit down to have that chat.

It was Friday afternoon: he had a list of places to shop for some reason; at least one phone call to make; and he needed to catch up with his Hawk about issues. _Well, first things first, I suppose_.

He found his Hawk in the penthouse, talking to Ms. Potts, with the little Spider sitting not far away. The tension was palpable.

“At the risk of sounding like my neighbor, can you two please stop fighting and get back to whatever your habits in the bedroom may be?” Loki asked drily as he walked in.

His Hawk immediately looked up with a shocked expression, “We’re not-“

“Not you, my Hawk… them.”

Romanoff narrowed her eyes at him. Ms. Potts started protesting. He cut them both off.

“I don’t care.” He draped himself across one of the more comfortable pieces of furniture. “Whether you have, or have not, had a physical relationship–or had one yet, for that matter– is of no concern to me. Your continued tenseness over this situation is endangering the entire group. Kindly do whatever you have to in order to resolve it.”

“We’re just friends,” Romanoff glared.

“WERE just friends,” Ms. Potts amended.

Barton looked back and forth so quickly that Loki found himself being concerned for his Hawk’s neck; then he grinned; then he started singing, “Natasha and Pepper, sitting in a tree...”

“Clint I will END you.” Romanoff growled.

“I assure you, we have never had that kind of relationship,” Ms. Potts said very firmly.

Loki waved dismissively. “I don’t care. I don’t care if your relationship involves mutual bonding over what yarn to buy, or what flavor of lubricant, or how many cases of vodka it takes to put up with my Anthony-“

“First sensible thing you’ve said,” Romanoff growled.

“The point is, little Spider, that you are upset and agitated by this. The fact that you can’t even successfully pretend to confusion and indifference just shows how badly it’s affecting you.”

His Hawk looked thoughtfully at the two of them, “Point, Nat.” He looked pointedly at Ms. Potts, “And Nat doesn’t have any ‘just’ friends, Pepper: it’s like MAYBE a handful of friends, and then everyone else. You don’t have a lot of friends in the business.”

Loki tiredly waved at the two of them. “Don’t make me magically transport you to an inescapable room with a container of ice cream until you make up. We need both of you on call. Whether you are friends, lovers, or some other option I don’t have the name for, KINDLY fix it.”

“She was SPYING on us!” Ms. Potts protested.

“Yes, Ms. Potts. The number of people here who didn’t at least START with ulterior motives is– what’s the phrase Anthony used?– ‘statistically insignificant’.”

Romanoff sighed, “All I needed to do to spy on you all–not you personally Pepper– was to keep enough good will to stay on the team and in the building, and not attract suspicion. I didn’t HAVE to do anything else; I wanted to.” She frowned and looked at Loki, “We are FRIENDS.”

“Charming. The ice cream is over there. Ms. Potts has her own rooms, as do you. I need to talk to my Hawk and you two need to settle this.” He put the full weight of a sorcerer’s gaze on the two women until they got up and left the room.

His Hawk grinned at the elevator after they left. “That was awesome.”

“Indeed?” He smiled. “Do you know what relationship they had, my Hawk? I am merely curious; it is of no great concern.”

“If Pepper was into that, I think Nat would have sex with her to keep her happy.” He cocked his head at Loki, “Um… That’s serious, by the way. Nat really isn’t into recreational sex. Sex is just target acquisition. If she has sex with you voluntarily, it’s because you need it, or want it, and she really likes you; other than that, it’s just business.”

Loki shrugged. “And Ms. Potts?”

“I got the impression she was pretty straight, but sometimes it’s an individual thing, like ‘I’m straight for looking around, but I love YOU’. I think she still wasn’t over Tony yet, anyway.” He looked thoughtful. “I don’t think Pepper saw Natasha that way, anyway; I got the impression she was into guys.”

Loki changed the subject. “Your Avengers are still far too volatile. I do hope the bindings will help.”

“What will help is not having Fury breathing down our asses.”

“Shouldn’t that be ‘breathing down our necks’, my Hawk?”

“With anyone else? Sure.” He shrugged. “Now that Coulson’s back, it should get easier.”

“I doubt it. He is responsible for a great deal of the tension as is.”

“Sure, but who kept sending Phil to deal with TONY? Trust me on this one: if it was up to Phil, after the initial bad meetings, he would’ve sent someone else to deal with Tony. They’re just really bad for each other.” His Hawk came over and sat on the chair next to him. “Tony and I talked a little, about him. I had no idea how badly they dealt with each other. That’s NOT what he’s like with Nat and me. Seriously.”

“Likely it has to do with Anthony’s father, and the obsession with Captain America.”

“Ouch. Probably.”

“Anthony’s father was not a… he was not a good father. Anthony has the impression that he could be very pleasant to anyone who wasn’t family. Thus anyone who liked Howard is disliked by Anthony. Combined with the betrayal by his… second father?”

“I thought my family was bad.” Barton looked off into the distance, _of course._

“As did I. Mine was perhaps marginally louder.”

“With Thor in the family? Dude, loud would be a given.” His Hawk blinked a lot. “Sorry, sir, I didn’t-“

“Did I object? Formal address is best when, as might be said, the troops are present.”

He rubbed the back of his neck; a gesture Loki knew all too well meant discomfort–not physically.

“It’s… odd.” Barton sighed. “It’s easy to fall back to it; like it lasted longer than it did.”

“The scepter is a very powerful item, my Hawk, the effects– even on me– were intense. I expect the entire experience to be more intense than our usual life on all of us”

“The psychs wouldn’t understand. I knew better than to try, I just told them what they wanted to hear. A few of the other guys didn’t.” Barton looked at Loki’s raised eyebrow. “Retired, most of them. Too compromised.”

“Anthony did make me promise to talk to you before I killed any of them.”

“Were you two serious?”

“Yes.”

His Hawk looked unsettled. _No doubt because you are tempted._

“A lot of people…” –he was back to staring into the distance again– “A lot of people in S.H.I.E.L.D. can’t forgive me.”

“I wish I could remedy that, but I cannot.”

“I know.” There was a length pause. “I kind of hoped I’d get a chance to kill you. I thought it would prove I wasn’t compromised any more, but it turns out a lot of folks wouldn’t care anyway.”

Loki nodded. “As I tried to redeem myself by killing frost giants.”

They sat quietly for a moment.

His Hawk said, “Wait here?” and went out of the room. From the sound of it, he was up in the vents. He came back after a while holding two bottles.

“I thought I had gotten rid of all the-“

“Nope. Just all the booze Stark knew about… or Jarvis, I guess.”

Loki watched his Hawk open the bottle and mimicked the gesture. He held out his bottle as a toast.

“Shall we drink to something in specific?” Loki asked amused.

“Better days ahead?”

“It will do.” The bottles clinked satisfactorily. It was a surprisingly good beer.

“Can I ask you a probably way out of line and very personal question?” His Hawk asked after he emptied the bottle.

“I owe you more than that. Ask.”

“The whole gay thing.” He hesitated. “You’re ok with it– Thor seems to be of the opinion that it’s like a death sentence. What gives?”

“I believe the best way to say this is ‘it’s complicated’.”

His Hawk just tilted his head and watched him with steady eyes.

Loki sighed. “Very well. In general, it is understood that warriors will not have women about, so they will deal with each other. That said, there are strict understandings about it. It is a matter of rank, and status. To be the lesser… it is only tolerable if the other man is so much your better that it can be almost taken as an improvement to be HIS woman.”

Barton raised an eyebrow. “So it’s all over who gets it and who takes it?”

“Mostly. And status.”

“So… Thor?”

“Has had any number of men, certainly. He is a prince; he outranks everyone, BUT…”– Loki held up a finger– “To take someone even remotely close to him in rank, as egri? As a lesser? Would be to dishonor them. To take someone MUCH lesser would honor them.”

“Try to remember I’m not the genius here. Hang on.” He darted back up into the ductwork. Sure enough, he came back with two more bottles, different this time. “Hefeweizen,”   he said, handing Loki a bottle and settling back into his chair.

Loki sighed. “If Thor took a young recruit to his bed, it would raise the boy in honor. If he took a shield brother? Very questionable, to put the man down and deny his dignity.” Loki grinned, “Not that it never happened, but you don’t get CAUGHT.”

His Hawk nodded. “So you and Tony?”

“Ah, I am a different case.” Loki frowned, “As I explained to Anthony, my magic is questionable. As Anthony says, its ‘sissy stuff’. WOMEN do magic, and male sorcerers are viewed as egri by default.”

Loki watched Barton blink rapidly. “Magic is gay?”

“When a man does it, yes.”

He suddenly looked at Loki intently, “And you’re thin and have that whole ‘goth pretty boy’ vibe going.”

“Exactly.”

“And you’re gay.”

“I believe Anthony would say ‘mostly’.”

His Hawk shrugged. “So am I, mostly.”

Loki choked on his beer.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The conversation gets interrupted in the next chapter. darn.


	99. The unexpected guest - Loki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki's POV... poor Loki  
> One of Tony's most trusted friends makes another appearance. Clint and Loki were not warned.

Loki was still recovering-and magicking beer off his shirt- when Jarvis interrupted.

“Mr. Stark’s guest has arrived. He is on his way up to the penthouse now.”

“Guest?” Loki asked, only half a beat from Barton.

“Indeed, Mr. Laufeyson. Mr. Stark wished him included in the bindings, for privacy and his protection.”

 _If I shook him hard enough to rattle some sense into him, it would probably kill him_. Loki rubbed his forehead, “Send him up then?”

“Mr. Stark’s guest has priority access already, Mr. Laufeyson. ”

Barton blinked a lot and stood up, watching the elevator as it opened. “Jarvis? Who is this guy?”

“Ooooh, Baby Cakes! Sugar Bear left me prezzies?” a surreal voice– feminine, but not female– cooed from the elevator. Loki stood up to see what manner of guest his infuriating bard had invited.

There was a confusing riot of color as Loki focused his eyes on the new arrival: pale purple shirt, pink and purple swirled tie, grey suit with… colored patches? _Not a style I am familiar with…_ a complexion he had heard described as coffee with cream, and what hair the man had was dark, with candy colored pink and purple streaks. He was looking back and forth between Barton and Loki with comically big eyes.

The new arrival gasped and –ogled, that was the only word- ogled Loki. “Oh, oh that MAN! That infuriating, greedy, underhanded MAN! He’s HOARDING all the pretty ones! Imma gonna beat him to death with my PURSE! Imma gonna CRY and ruin my mascara!”

The astonishing person started walking toward them as his Hawk stuttered out, “Ok, um, you must be talking about Tony, right? Who the hell are you?”

Loki had just started realizing that those cinnamon colored eyes were remarkably intelligent, when the… creature... diverted to Barton.

“Look at you, you BRUTE!” _He said brute, but he sounded flattering?_ _Norms! It was like listening to Amora…_ “Those big strong arms you have… Oh, you MUST be Clinton; Sugar Bear has told me ALL about you.” _That sounded lewd…_

“Uh… err…” His Hawk was slowly backing up toward Loki; Loki couldn’t blame him.

“I’m Dani.” the creature said with a smirk. “Let me guess, Tony didn’t even tell anyone he invited me?”

Jarvis cleared his throat. “Hello… Dani.” Loki could hear Jarvis wishing for an honorific and surname. “This is indeed Clint Barton, currently designated as acting commander in the absence of Mr. Stark or Mr. Laufeyson. The taller gentleman is Loki Laufeyson, who has command authority surpassed only by Mr. Stark. They are both cleared to know the nature of your relationship with Mr. Stark if you see fit to inform them.”

The comically over-sized eyes suddenly snapped to the ceiling with a calculating look. “Really?”

“Yes,” Jarvis said calmly.

Loki looked at his Hawk with a degree of desperation. He wanted to demand a complete social report on what any and all of this meant. He settled for asking him, “I take it you are as much at a loss as I am?”

Barton nodded.

Dani laughed. “Oh, you two are completely adorable. So Biceps there must be Hawkeye, right?”

“Yeeesss?” Barton made it sound like a question. “Tony is down in the labs…”

“Oh, Lord have mercy, then we won’t see him for days.” He… pouted. He put a hand on his hip like an annoyed young girl. “Jarvis, sweetie, why did you bring me up HERE if Sugar Bear is in his labs?”

“Mr. Stark wished you to meet his paramour, Mr. Laufeyson. There is also a high-“

“Wait!” Dani interrupted, waving his hands around like pigeons being startled from the street. “THIS? This gorgeous mile of legs and those eyes?” Dani turned his attention fully to Loki. “You mean to tell me you work a knife like that AND you’re that pretty? Sweet Jesus have mercy, I told the man I was gonna steal you from him for your own good, and I just might!”

He stalked over and looked up through his eyelashes-which seemed rather unduly long- at Loki. “Tony’s a complete and utter ass, really, but he’s worth it. Don’t break his heart, even if he does need to learn the meaning of the words ‘consent’, ‘boundaries’, and ‘safety’.”

Loki had the sudden realization that he was once again not informed enough. Not at all.

“I… I think we may need to start over. I have the distinct feeling that you have me at a disadvantage.”

“Well, I could, but if you’re TONY’s friend, I think you’d probably prefer to have ME at a disadvantage…” Dani batted his eyelashes in an exaggerated fashion up at him.

His Hawk coughed. “Uh... it’s been a REALLY bad week, and we’re all a little on edge. Can we maybe sit down… separately… and talk about who you are and why you’re here?”

Dani sighed, “Sure thing, Angel Arms.” He flounced over and draped himself across a chair. “Jarvis? Be a sweetheart and ‘no calls’ for a bit?”

“Are you certain?”

“Absolutely.”

Loki went cold. “Jarvis?” _Dani knew Anthony that well? He had the authority to…_ “Explain please?”

“The only individuals capable of entering this level currently are you three, Ms. Potts, and Mr. Stark. The penthouse is on lock down to anyone below Dani’s level of access, except in case of emergency,” Jarvis said calmly.

Both he and Barton turned to stare at Dani.

Dani smiled up at Loki, “So, you’re the ‘tall, dark hair, green eyes, and great hands’ Tony fell for. I saw the knife work.”

“You did?” _Whoever this is, Anthony must trust him a great deal._

“Who ARE you?!” His Hawk almost moaned. Loki could really sympathize.

“Just call me Dani, Sweet Cheeks. Among other things, I’m Tony’s personal physician for extremely discreet situations.”

 _AH! That explains a lot._ “Then he must trust you a great deal. He is… cautious.”

“You don’t look discreet.” Barton frowned.

“Hide in plain sight, Baby Doll! I run a series of clinics for the LGBT community: medical testing, counseling, social services, the works. Tony funds them, so I come over and badger him for money and to attend a few charity events, right?”

Loki had to admit that was clever. “And if anyone suspects anything else?”

“Then obviously the playboy likes candy every now and then, right?”

Barton looked stunned. “Err… you? And TONY?”

Loki snorted, “I doubt it.”

Dani laughed, “We flirt, Sweetheart, but as completely scrumptious as I am, I am NOT his type.” His eyes raked up and down Loki. “You make more sense, you know.”

“I... what?”

“The way he described what happened, I was afraid he’d found himself someone who couldn’t keep a leash on him. I love my Sugar Daddy dearly, but the man is a menace and he needs a strong hand.”

Loki coughed. “I’d noticed.” he said, finally beginning to relax around this very strange person.

“Are you always this over the top?” His Hawk said suddenly.

“Usually,” Dani smirked.

“You… examined him after…” _How do I even ask this?_

“After he completely blew past your limits and was a self-absorbed ass? Yes. I threatened to staple a tube of lube to his manly rear end if he even THOUGHT about it again. Gorgeous knife work, by the way.” Danni leaned forward, “Now then, Long Legs, let me tell you that a lot of his friends KNOW he’s a self-absorbed jackass, and way too much to handle for most folks, but he’s also loyal, and generous, and –“

“I wasn’t leaving,” Loki said amusedly. _He really liked his Anthony. Well, he’s an odd friend, but it’s good he has them._

“Good! I did need you to know, though, that even though I’m his friend, if he acts up you CALL me, and Baby will have your back, ok? I don’t want him chasing away a good thing. I don’t wanna deal with him getting his stomach pumped again.”

His Hawk muttered, “I want to introduce him to Phil.”

Loki grinned over at his Hawk. “I want to introduce him to Ms. Vivienne.”

Dani suddenly blew out a lungful of air and was staring at Loki in shock. “Did… did you say Ms. Vivienne?”

Loki stared back at him. _No… “_ Exceptionally disciplined, very straight posture, usually blond?”

“Looks like a typical college kid in an oversized sweater until she looks you in the eyes, or wears a business suit?”

“Please tell me you aren’t the person she meets over coffee…”

“YOU’RE the person she was…” Dani kept opening and closing his mouth.

“Consulting for… about safety.” _The Norns get together over mead and laugh at me, I know they do._

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What can i say, really?  
> oh... SPOILER ALERT: the boys have their first real fight after this. if arguing superherp/villain couples aren't your thing....skip chapter 100.  
> since its not MY thing i didn't go into too much detail.
> 
> PS. My husband whouseknecht is recovering from Pneumonia, and i am exhausted. so.. forgive any grammatical errors and its *possible* we may have to skip a daily update, but i am trying hard not to!


	100. first fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which the boys have a stupid fight, over nothing that important, because frankly they really need to sit down and talk and they're under too much stress.  
> (if screaming arguments trigger you, skip this chapter)

Tony came skidding out of the elevator already apologizing and making excuses.

“I forgot, I know I forgot, but I didn’t know I would be in the labs…” Tony babbled as he entered the penthouse– then he froze, staring at Dani, Clint, and Loki in one place. “Err… sorry?”

Dani pursed his lips, “Sugar Bear, what did I TELL you about treating your boy better?”

“Its superhero stuff, Dani, all sorts of things have been-“

Dani walked up and hit him in the shoulder with his purse. “Don’t you START that with me. That may work with that poor innocent ginger you roped into doing all your work for you, but it will NOT work with my glittery self!”

Tony heard a muffled laugh from Loki. _Why in hell did I think bringing Dani here was a good idea?_

Clint-the bastard- sang out, “Popcorn, Jarvis! There’s gotta be popcorn!”

“Have you three been introduced properly? Because Dani can be kind of… umm…”

“Magnificent? Perfect? All kinds of candy colored awesome that YOU do not DESERVE?”–Dani gestured at Loki and Clint with his purse– “ Imma gonna steal that long-legged, innocent, green-eyed angel from you because you CLEARLY do not know how to treat him right. Then I’m gonna take Angel Arms there and find out if he’s strong enough to hold Baby up against the wall while I seduce the two of them, ”- Dani waved his purse threateningly- “because YOU are clearly not in your right MIND if you gonna leave these beautiful creatures here while you go off and cheat on your BOY who you totally do not deserve because you have no SENSE Sweet Cheeks, not any!”

“Dani-“ Tony was trying to figure out how to derail a full on Dani-rant. He’d never managed before, but maybe this would be the first time.

Loki suddenly spoke up: “Apparently your Dani knows Ms. Vivienne.”

 _Why was he mentioning this?_ “Well yeah, she said they were meeting for coffee.”

“No, she didn’t,” Loki growled. “She said she was meeting someone over coffee, not that it was your friend Dani!”

 _Huh, Loki sounded upset? Oh shit he hadn’t realized that?_ “I thought it was obvious. You mean you didn’t get that?”

“How would I get THAT?” Loki sounded really upset.

Tony noticed Clint pulling Dani back toward the elevator for some reason.

“I don’t expect other people to, but I thought you would.” _I mean really, Loki’s smart, after all, wasn’t it obvious?_

“Just because I am not FROM your wretched planet is no reason to–”

Tony lost track of what Loki was saying because Clint just dragged a really amused looking Dani into the elevator and hit the emergency switch.

“Oh? And which foods are most likely to be poisoned at an Aelfheim banquet? I don’t think you’re stupid for not knowing!” Loki waved his arms and yelled angrily.

Tony started yelling back about why on earth he would want to know anything about any of these other STUPID realms filled with idiots. Loki was screaming back about how that was just ASGARD and this was some other realm. _Obviously filled with different assholes._

Somewhere in there, Natasha tried to get their attention. Tony immediately pointed out that NATASHA got along with Ms. Vivienne just fine, and it was OBVIOUS that Dani was the person she was meeting for coffee.

“Who’s Dani?” Natasha asked warily as she watched small bric-a-brac being hurled or crashed into by the two of them.

“Dani! The friend of mine Ms. Vivienne has been meeting for coffee!” Tony howled, and then used a repulsor gauntlet to throw a chair at Loki, since throwing magazines wasn’t doing any good.

For some reason, Natasha was edging toward the elevator. “I didn’t know she was meeting a friend of yours.”

“Oh right, take HIS side!”

Loki threw him up against the wall with a green magic blast. “I barely know what SHE’s doing, much less who she’s doing it WITH!” Loki screamed at him.

“You’ve been dealing with her for a while.” Jealousy roared up in Tony’s head and made him see spots; energy beams lashed out.

Natasha had vanished somewhere, probably to go find Clint.

“THREE meetings! THREE! Mostly to try to keep you from being damaged, you fragile get of a-”

“I AM NOT WEAK!”

Furnishings broke under impossible strength. “It wouldn’t hurt you to take your safety more seriously than your appearance, Stark!”

“Don’t you get started about MY vanity, you-”

Suddenly, Tony was covered in fire suppressant foam.

“Dum-E?” Tony looked around guiltily, wiping foam off his face.

Jarvis spoke firmly, “Sir, I believe there may be a short in the fire suppression systems. It seems to be triggered by rampant idiocy and yelling.”

Loki grinned viciously and said, “Thank you, Jarvis.”

“It could easily happen again, Mr. Laufeyson, unless BOTH of you reduce the volume and percentage idiocy in the penthouse immediately. I strongly suggest that you attend to business separately while I bring in someone to clean up the penthouse.”

Tony looked around and realized with a sudden shock that the place was trashed almost as badly as it had been after the Chitauri Invasion.

Loki was staring down in disbelief at a sofa, currently broken in three parts.

“Umm…” Tony said, looking at the hole in the wall with a chair embedded in it.

Loki rubbed the bridge of his nose. “I’m going to go find the others, deal with the bindings, and go shopping. When do we need to get to the meeting?”

“I’m going to go back to the lab,” Tony said quietly. “And Saturday any time after five.”

“You’re impossible, you know.”

“Yeah.”

“I suppose I didn’t help.”

“…”

“I’m not leaving you, Anthony; I’m just leaving for right now.”

Tony nodded. “Yeah.” He looked up at Loki. “Thanks.”

Jarvis cleared his throat, “Dr. Banner would like to come in, Sir.”

“Oh, sure.”

Bruce just stood in the elevator staring around at the mayhem for a while.

Loki looked sheepish.

Tony felt like sinking through the floor.

Bruce walked out into the room. He looked down at his hands, and tugged on his shirt. “Shirt’s intact… Wow, usually if something is this trashed, I did it...”

Tony muttered, “I didn’t call the suit…”

Loki raised an eyebrow at him, “You had a suit glove with a repulsor…”

“Well, yeah, but no missiles!”

Loki stared at him, and then turned to Bruce, “Dr. Banner, tell me again why I was considered the threat? Or you were?”

Bruce laughed, “Well, you were obvious, what with the invasion. In my case, a number of agencies are concerned about the Other Guy…  If you’re asking why they think Tony’s any safer than the two of US? I have no idea.”

Tony grinned, “Probably because they like the toys I make for them.”

Bruce nodded. “Probably.”

“If I’m going to get clothing suitable for this event, Anthony, I should get going.”

Tony suddenly had a wonderful idea. _It was a fabulous idea! It was an insanely incredibly good idea!_

“Bruce? Would you like to come with Loki and me to a party?”

Loki almost walked into a chair-which made this an even better idea.

Bruce looked affectionately at Tony, “No.”

Tony’s face fell. He tried pouting.

“It’s not that I wouldn’t like to go, but I think you two could actually use some time to do something together, alone, besides screw,”–he looked pointedly at the remains of the furniture–“or remodeling.”

Tony looked guilty. “Point.”

Loki sighed, “Go finish your collar, Anthony. I’ll see you on Saturday. For that matter, why don’t you explain the project to Dr. Banner?”

“Project? Collar?” Bruce asked.

Tony ducked his head and mouthed ‘Love you, Babe’ at Loki–who snorted at him, but smiled– as he took Bruce off to explain about some of the ideas he had for a collar. _Who knows, some of it might be able to be used for Avengers gear…_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hate arguments. i hate writing them especially dumb ones.  
> just as a heads up, these guys had their "first dates" over property damage and potentially lethal combat... they dont really have healthy relationship skills. 
> 
> but next chapter we have a chat between Loki.... and Bruce...  
> annd then we FINALLY leave for the party.  
> finally


	101. Not the shovel talk- Loki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki's POV... and he has a sit down talk with Doctor Banner.

 

Loki dealt with his duties without hesitation, taking oaths and observing details to be filed away for later. One of the few benefits to his upbringing was the ability to handle the politics of the court– intrigues, and warfare, and so on–without hesitation, even when his mind was elsewhere. A second son, he’d been raised in the shadows of intrigue; it was his strength, not Thor’s, and he didn’t mind it. It seemed to bother his Anthony, however, as painfully straightforward as the infuriating genius was.

Not for the first time he had an unnerving flash of insight about the similarities between his Anthony and his brother. Oh, his Anthony was more like himself than Thor, but… _You trust so deeply, and so quickly, once someone gets past your thorns, my rose._

Loki heard the elevator door open, interrupting his musings. He had expected his Anthony, or his Hawk; instead, there was the unassuming looking doctor.

“That’s a different look.” Dr. Banner stood blinking at him.

“Anthony sent me to purchase clothing for the party,” Loki nodded. _It was a different look, but one he thought he might enjoy, at least for one evening; at least it was partly leather_. “It’s apparently a masque of some sort.”

“So he said.” The doctor rocked back and forth for a few seconds. “I think we need to talk.”

Loki waved at the only place to sit down he could see. The penthouse had been cleared, and most of the obvious damage repaired. The furnishings hadn’t been replaced yet, leaving a handful of folding chairs and a table that Loki was certain was intended for card games; it resembled the tables in the casinos.

“Jarvis?” Loki called. “Some privacy, please.”

“Certainly, Mr., Laufeyson.”

“Not going to use the codes?”

“I suspect you know, as well as I do, that the only need for such codes would be to protect Anthony from his own habits. I would prefer to trust Jarvis to do what is best for him.” Loki looked thoughtfully at the doctor. “You… are not what I initially thought.” He sat down at the table.

“No,” he smiled, “but I’m also not the same person I was when we met. Tony has a gift for helping people.”

Loki nodded. “He is a maker, and a creator–it’s his gift: he changes whatever he touches.” He grinned, “And more than a bit of a trickster.”

Banner nodded and sat down. “What did you initially think I was?”

“From what my Hawk knew? From S.H.I.E.L.D.?” Loki considered. “I thought you were either a hesitant man, who was foolish enough to squander his power, or that you were a shadow that the great green beast cloaked himself in.”

“And now?” Banner looked thoughtful. “And what changed your mind?”

“May I ask you a question in exchange? Even though I suspect I have the answer already.”

Banner nodded.

“Very well, I shall answer you, and also explain how I know.” Loki paused a while. “You were in my sanctum–my apartment– when I woke up. I was understandably alarmed, I think.”

Banner nodded, confusion showing on his face, “Yes, Natasha and I helped Tony get you there.”

“You don’t understand, Doctor. A mage’s sanctum is not just a safe place: it’s an extension of their nature, of their magics. When I realized there were strangers in my sanctum it was as though I was naked, with all of you naked in bed with me. I really don’t know how to explain it to you; it is an INTENSELY private space, and I had not invited you.”

“I didn’t know that.”

“I didn’t expect you did. But you were within my sanctum, and that made you… somewhat transparent to me. If you had been mages ,you could have ripped me apart as I slept. You certainly could know any of my secrets; I was in no shape to defend myself. So I trust you understand that I investigated you thoroughly.”

Banner went pale. “How much…”

“Do I know? Both too much and too little.” He smiled wryly. “I know your NATURE, not the details of your lives, although one could make guesses.”

“But you’re sitting here…”

“A great deal of your nature, Doctor, is that you are bonded to my Anthony, and he to you.”

“Uh... I think I’d notice the telepathy.” Banner smiled.

“Your bond is not lesser just because you do not have the magic to share power and mind.” Loki sighed, “It is also both easier, and harder, to break your bond than ours. A MAGICAL bond can be broken by magic. A true bond can only be broken by betrayal or time apart, and not always then.”

“That sounds more like the fact that we’re friends.”

“You would be lovers if your interest went that way,“ Loki shrugged. “You are friends? More like family. Soulmates, partners? Family. The simple fact is, whether I like you or not, when I bonded Anthony and myself…”

“I’m an in-law?” Banner snickered.

“Essentially. It would be abuse if I tried to part Anthony from you.” Loki looked thoughtful. “Even assuming I wanted to. Once it became clear that you were not likely to attack me, it was easier to deal with you.” Loki smiled, then. “Do these fools even understand how dangerous you are? Or do they only think the beast is dangerous?”

“Does Tony?”

“You know Anthony respects you.”

“Tony thinks I’m harmless and need protecting.”

“No, Anthony thinks you dislike the violence and killing. He seeks to protect and shelter that innocence, because he wishes that he had it.”

Banner looked like he was mulling that over.

“I am not inclined to disabuse him, entirely, of that notion. He likes having people to care for.”

“I told them. I told them before, but they always forget,” Banner said.

“Told them what?”

“My secret is, ‘I’m always angry’. I told them that, but they forget.”

Loki smiled. “I am unlikely to forget that, Doctor. I simply trust your rage to help protect Anthony. He is entirely too trusting.”

“Noticed that, did you?”

“It’s rather obvious. It has taken such great betrayals to even begin to damage that trust, and even after that he takes all of you into his home, and is willing to trust me– ME! – on the bare authority of Thor.”

“Yeah, I wouldn’t have trusted Thor’s understanding of oaths –and your likelihood of keeping them– with my life.”

Loki nodded, “But on Thor’s assurance, he was willing to bet his life. When I placed a blade on him, he trusted that I knew how fragile he was, and that I would stop if he asked.” Loki sighed. “He is appallingly trusting, once he extends trust. I honestly do not think he is very good at extending a small trust; he seems to trust entirely without reservation.”

“That’s why I stay.”

“I know.” Loki shrugged. “We are both monsters, doctor. Whatever color skin we wear at the moment. A monster does not cease to be a monster when it hides behind pleasant features. We are both monsters, and we are unused to such grace as Anthony grants us.”

“Then I think we understand each other… and I expect anything else I might say is… irrelevant.”

“You understand the culture better than I, Doctor. I have found it too easy to overlook things… or do harm without meaning to. I trust you will tell me if I overstep.”

Banner nodded. “Thank you for saving his life.”

Loki nodded, “Thank YOU for keeping him alive long enough for me to learn to know him.”

“Me?” Banner blinked, “I don’t think I-“

“You have. Not you alone, but… you do not threaten him unless he obeys you; you do not corner and imprison him; you do not wish him to be a tool; and you do not assume him to be an idiot or a fool. YOU, alone of the Avengers. YOU, alone of his friends that I know.”

“Oh, come on, he has plenty of other-“

“No, he doesn’t.”

“They don’t think that about him.”

“HE thinks they do. Whether they do or not? I cannot say.”

“But-“

“Shall I tell you what he thinks? His wom- Ms. Potts wishes him to be what he is not. In her own way she would imprison him, and in any event she thinks him a fool or a madman, for all that she loves him. The good Captain wishes him to be his father–an abuser that he despises– and thinks him a fool, and –despite all that Anthony is, and has done– has called him a lesser, a failure, and unworthy, repeating the words of his father to him.”

“Yeah, ‘Captain America’ isn’t my favorite person either.”

Loki continued without changing tone, “The spies, of course, he does not wish to trust: they are his jailors and his death, Romanoff especially. He finds himself liking my Hawk–has for some time– and this of course causes him pain, because he feels it is doomed, that Barton will use that trust to kill him.”

“Not Natasha?”

“Oh, no, Doctor… he KNOWS Natasha will kill him. It doesn’t trouble him as much; he does not feel it as a betrayal.”

“That’s… that’s…“ Banner’s face twisted in pity and shock.

“His driver, the man he calls ‘Happy’, sees only the façade–thinks him pleased with his conquests, and his empty life. So for all that he likes the man, he is no friend.”

“I… know something about that. People can’t be your friend if they only know a lie.”

“Indeed. They like the lie, perhaps.

“One he thought MIGHT be his friend– a man I have not met, Rhodey–not only mostly likes the lie, and not the truth, but betrayed him for his weaponry. He only tolerates him now because he is protection, of a sort. I suspect that the man may think he is forgiven, but he is not… since he has never truly acknowledged what he did. My Anthony now knows that he is valued by him only for his weapons. He is no friend.”

“Fury?” Banner shook his head, “No, I know better.”

“A friend of his fathers, and therefore suspect to begin with… and another who wishes him only for his weapons. He sent Agent Coulson to torment him, to threaten him in the same way as Stane paralyzed him and pulled his heart from him.”

“WHAT?!” Banner’s eyes flicked dangerously green.

Loki held very still. “Obadiah Stane paralyzed Anthony, pulled his ARC reactor, and left him to die when he wouldn’t work on weapons for him. Threatening him with paralysis by Taser for not working for S.H.I.E.L.D. is very similar.”

A low rumbling growl escaped the Doctor.   Loki waited until he pulled himself back together.

“I think I may need to-“ Banner began, wiping his forehead with a handkerchief.

“Oooh…” Tony sighed as he walked in from the elevator. “Oh, you look so damned HOT!”

Loki tilted his head to look at Anthony, not wishing to move too much lest he upset the Doctor. Anthony was wearing a similar costume to his own,though not identical: pants shorter than was fashionable; a vest which showed off his torso admirably; a caped jacket of some kind. Anthony’s shirt was white, unless that was a scarf, and held closed high on his neck with a ruby red and gold pin. The same design flashed at his cuffs.

“That suits you far better than your T-shirts, elskan min.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to see the kind of clothing they are wearing....  
> https://www.pinterest.com/fabricdragon/fan-fiction-related/  
> look up Hellfire club (the outfits, not the convoluted back story) or kind of close? Tom Hiddleston in Crimson Peaks.
> 
> PS. while THIS Bruce is not as dark as the works by 8fred9... why does everyone ignore the character himself when he tells you he is NOT a shy, innocent sweet guy? really. he's NOT. he says so himself.


	102. The Green and the Red

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony's POV, Collars, dominance, wants, and needs. aka conflicting desires.

Loki looked insanely good in 18th century fashion. It was the customary style for a formal masque at the Hellfire Club– Tony knew some members wore it more often– but Loki made it look like the only outfit to be seen in. Frankly, Tony had always thought he looked short and squat in it– the knee length pants, the vest, and the cravat making him feel a bit like an overdressed frog valet from Disney– and so did most of the other members, but Loki…. Loki looked like he was about to go peasant hunting. He looked like this was clearly how every evil villain dressed when they weren’t in Asgard. Apparently no matter the era, Loki just looked awesome in a suit.

Tony would have just stood there grinning, but motion from another chair got his attention.

“Bruce?” _He looks stressed; had Loki upset him? That didn’t make sense; they’d been getting along so well…_ “Brucey Bear? Brucester?“ Tony started throwing out all the ridiculous nicknames he could.

Bruce started laughing, “Stop that! I’m fine, really!”

“You looked a little green around the gills,” Tony grinned at him

Loki – _he hadn’t been moving, so, yeah, he knew Bruce was upset and was holding still. Damn, what happened?_ \- sighed, “I’m afraid I was speaking about some upsetting things, elskan mín–old business, nothing to be done now.”

_Bruce looked ok now, anyway._

“I have to get back to the lab before the puppies figure out where I keep my ice cream. You two have fun.” Bruce waved and headed to the elevator.

“See you tomorrow!” Tony called after him. He waited until Bruce was gone, then turned to Loki, “Ok, what upset him so much?”

“Truthfully, old business. I am afraid I discussed an old hurt of yours... one I know that S.H.I.E.L.D. knew, so I assumed he knew.” Loki crossed the room and put his hand to Tony’s face. “He didn’t know the details. No point in upsetting you as well.”

“Mmm.” Tony hummed noncommittally _. Now I’m going to be wondering what they talked about all night._

Loki’s hand moved down his neck. “I don’t feel a collar; did you not finish it?”

Tony was indignant. “Did you honestly think I wasn’t going to have you put it ON me?!” He looked angrily up into the laughing face… _Played! Ouch_.

Tony handed him   the package with the collar, and a few other things, in it and tried desperately not to bounce.

Loki looked uninterested, “So shall we wait until we get there?”

“NOT fooling me twice, NOT!” Tony poked him in the chest with one finger for emphasis.

Loki laughed and opened the package. Tony held his breath and watched his face.

“It suits you,” Loki smiled. Tony could hear the pleasure in Loki’s voice and wanted to crawl all over him and purr, with cream, and honey…

Loki grinned evilly and pulled himself up to his full height. _DAMN if the Hellfire Club clothing didn’t suit this to a ‘T’._

He held the deceptively ordinary-looking gold metal collar in one hand. “Kneel,” He purr-growled.

Tony’s knees hit the floor before the protest could form on his lips. _Oh shit, the sight of Loki holding that collar did something_ … Tony didn’t think he could have gotten up if he tried-not that he was trying.

Loki said something about unfastening his scarf. It took Tony several tries to undo the pin holding it in place. _I was an idiot for putting that on at all_. Once it was off, he sat back on his heels and stretched his head back, baring his throat.

Tony had always thought he’d get cold feet if he ever got to this point. Offering to wear someone’s collar was commitment, and he’d never been really good at commitment. Now, though? He was scared, sure, but he wasn’t letting this one get away.

Loki slipped the collar around his neck, where it settled low, angled to rest against his collar bone. It would almost hide under a high necked t shirt; it would be invisible under a dress shirt.

A band in the center of the gold collar shimmered and turned green– green and gold; Loki’s colors. Tony felt Loki’s hand startle, and watched his eyes turn possessive and dark.

“Not red, Anthony?”

Tony wordlessly held out his wrists. Loki slipped the matching plain gold cuffs onto each wrist. A matching band in the center of each one shimmered and went green. Tony grinned and looked up at Loki, waiting for the questions.

Loki held up a gold swiveling ring, attached to a plain gold square. “And what of these?”

Tony held out a wrist, “Put it on the cuff.”

Loki held it to the cuff. There was a barely noticeable jerk as it hit the green band and locked in place. Tony grinned and took the ring in his other hand and pulled-hard- it didn’t budge.

“Alright snjall elskan mín, you’ve exceeded my expectations…” Loki sat down, and Tony scooted forward to kneel between his knees. “Explain.”

“The collar and cuffs respond to your biometrics, especially your thumbprint on the clasp. That’s why the central band turned green. If I put my fingers on the clasp point, I can turn it red and gold, or remove the color and leave it plain gold.”

“It would be well not to advertise your allegiances too widely, indeed.”

“Not while we need Hydra to think they can recruit you,” Tony smirked. “The rings, and anything else I want to add, electronically lock onto the bands; you can put as many on as you can fit, anywhere around the band except over the lock… so you can have a leash ring tonight, but if I need to get the suit on the ring can come off and it won’t be in the way.”

“Very clever!” Loki twisted his fingers into Tony’s hair and tugged, as a reward.

Tony purred. “And they act just like the other suit bracelets. They let the suit home in on me and lock into place.” Tony let his head be pulled onto Loki’s thigh _. I could stay here forever_.

“As I said, Anthony, no one else could make a collar worthy of you.” Loki pulled his fingers through Tony’s hair and Tony felt himself slipping down into subspace. _It wasn’t normally this easy to let go of the control. It must be the collar… the psychology…._

“Loki…”

“Yes, gæludýr minn?”

“Falling…” he whispered, the world slowly contracting to just the two of them.

Loki put his fingers under Tony’s chin and tilted his head up, looking him in the eyes. “Do you want to come back up?”

“Not yet.” His voice felt syrupy. _If I could only stay here._

“What do you want, clever darling?” Loki went back to pulling on his hair.

“You.” Tony suddenly realized what was wrong. Loki had taken him over the edge so many times. He knew that Loki had enjoyed their time together- knew that he had come at least a couple of times- but when LOKI had come, Tony had been too far gone himself to appreciate it.

 _You’re a self-centered bastard, Tony._ He snarled at himself _. It’s not just about you._

“You have me.”

“I want to make you come apart, the way you make me come apart.” Tony started undoing Loki’s pants.

“You do; you have.”

“I want to do this.” Tony finished undoing Loki’s pants. “The last time I went down on you I wasn’t exactly all there.”

Tony forced himself to pull back. That was part of the problem: he wanted a position of absolute submission– endorphins and adrenaline screaming through his body as someone else took control–but he was just too aggressive, and too controlling, to let himself BE submissive. He had gotten there with Loki, repeatedly, but only after sex-only after being stripped down to his core.

Tony forced himself to sit back into a kneel. Forced his hands down to his thighs, forced his head down. The weight of the collar on his neck was steadying him, just a little. He reached out for that calm certainty of subspace and felt it slip away from him. He was GOING to voluntarily be submissive; he was GOING to focus just on Loki-on giving him this- even if he felt like his spine would snap.

Loki reached down and stroked his face gently.

Tony wanted to bite him. He forced himself to stay still.

Loki stood up and somehow his pants were refastened. “Anthony, as much as I appreciate your attempt–and I do appreciate it… “– Loki hauled him to his feet, and then off his feet, roughly, bringing them face to face– “If I wanted a TAME pet, you wouldn’t interest me.”

Loki kissed him, and there was NOTHING gentle about it. Tony felt teeth in his lip and tasted blood. He moaned.

Loki dropped him and Tony was back on his feet with a snarl. “I was just trying to be nice you–“

He was cut off when his arms were suddenly twisted behind his back. Loki leaned down and whispered softly and tenderly into his ear, “You said they have private rooms at the club, Elskan mín hækkaði – soundproofed? Without even your Jarvis to help you…”

Tony felt himself shiver and heat raced up his spine.

“I’ll make you scream, skáld mín; I’ll make you beg,”– Loki’s tongue teased briefly at his ear– “and then, if you’re very, very good, I’ll let you use that wicked tongue for something else, before I bring out the knives.”

Everything in the room was far too hot, his pants were far too tight, and his collar seemed to have shrunk against his throat.

“I did promise to eventually carve my name on your skin, my pet; perhaps tonight you can earn that.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am extremely proud of that collar and cuff design I'll have you know.  
> i figured Loki looked a lot like Tom Hiddleston did in Crimson Peaks. https://www.pinterest.com/pin/101964379041352453/  
> but when i get an actual photo manipulation to put him as LOKI in the outfit, I'll let you know.


	103. Afterward -Moving On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continued in "Will You Walk Into My Parlor"

To my lovely readers,

First of all, calm down. This is NOT the end. This is, in fact, only the end of the beginning.

We are changing venues (going to the Hellfire Club), adding MAJOR new players (Hellfire Club, Hydra, etc.), and moving FURTHER into Canon divergence. It seemed suitable, therefore, to begin this new part of the story AS a new story.

This story continues in a new part of the “A Twisted Skein” series, as: “Will You Walk Into My Parlor”.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Spider_and_the_Fly_%28poem%29
> 
> While i will update the sequel (continuation) as often as i can... i will NOT commit to a 7 day a week update schedule like i had with this one. I do PROMISE that it will update often! at the moment i am leaning toward 3 times a week.

**Author's Note:**

> Updated end notes:  
> All the references that used to be here in the notes are in other works in this series. (Icelandic translations, references to sexuality and safe practices, etc.)  
> Thanks to my Husband whouseknecht for the proof reading and punctuation checks!  
> 

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [You Can't Marry Him!](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5456165) by [jldw](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jldw/pseuds/jldw)




End file.
